


The Strange Life of Harry Potter

by mad_fairy



Series: NinjaWizard: Adventures of Harry Potter, Dimensional Traveler (Side Stories) [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Dimension Travel, Eye Gouging, F/F, F/M, M/M, Reincarnation, enlightenment is easy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-08-30 03:46:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 119,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16757062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mad_fairy/pseuds/mad_fairy
Summary: It has been years since Harry has last seen his childhood friends in Konoha, and that unfinished shogi game has really been weighing on him.  Now, if only the Akatsuki would quit bothering them, he could get on with it already.A lighthearted romp through the ninja world while our intrepid heroes join old friends and new to stave off the apocalypse.





	1. Come to the Ninja world, he said.  It will be fun, he said.

**Author's Note:**

> You should probably read Ninja Wizard and the Strange Life of Shikamaru Nara first, or this probably won't make a lot of sense. Well, you could, but you'll be at least a little confused. For those of you already up to speed, here is the much asked for continuation--Harry returns to Konoha, this time in person. Poor Shikamaru has a relatively small role. He features at the beginning and at the end, so he's not gone completely. This is mostly Naruto's show this time around.  
> Featuring Love That Transcends Death, A Creepy Inkblot that Really Needs to Stahp Already, Dead Ninjas, Live Ninjas, The Man in the Moon, Really Bad Granny, Aliens, Demons, and Little Brothers Who Get Shit Done.  
> Hope it's worth the wait.  
> Now, on with the show.

"Well…this isn't good." Harry muttered quietly, even as he dug out the flying carpet and shoved it at Neville. 

"Ya think?" Neville said sarcastically.

"Move." Harry barked, not deigning to answer.

Neville unfurled the carpet and he, Luna and Tom leapt on, while Harry dashed forward to scoop up the impaled woman lying on the ground a distance ahead of them. He was just about to grab her when some sixth sense warned him of danger. He flipped over the woman, just missing being grabbed by a weird plant… _thing_ with a bi-colored face. He twisted and shot fire right into the thing's creepy face and scooped up the woman in time to leap aboard the carpet as it soared past.

"We've got company." Tom muttered tensely.

Two of the figures perched on the towering fingertips of the disturbing wooden statue that took up most of the cave leapt down.

The blonde fellow had a wicked-looking multi-bladed scythe and a blood-thirsty grin. The second man they could only see his eyes.

Neville managed to get the carpet up, but they weren't out of danger yet. The blood-thirsty blonde flung his scythe and likely would have impaled Luna if not for Tom's quick action in deflecting it. Luna was busy concentrating on the wall of the cave that they were quickly approaching. She flung out a powerful bombarda and blew a hole large enough to fit all of them.

"Duck." Neville warned as he aimed the carpet towards it. Luna turned around to help Tom fend off the persistent ninjas on their tail-- they'd leapt up out of the cave practically right on their heels and were still following them!--while Harry focused on healing the woman they'd rescued.

"Head towards the mountains. Ninjas or not, it'll take them longer to cross them than it will us. We can lose them there." Harry suggested.

"Just what I was thinking" Neville agreed, chancing a glance behind them. "What the hell were they even doing back there? What was that thing?"

"I have no clue. It's nothing good. I know that much."

"Is she going to be okay?" Luna asked tensely, still watching their pursuit.

"Yeah. She seems to have a healing factor or something. Some of her wounds are closing on their own. Those things stuck in her must have been hindering it in some way."

"Any idea where we are?" Tom asked next, relaxing as the ninjas began losing ground on them as they entered the mountains.

"Not a clue. We're not in Konoha, but beyond that I couldn't say. I didn’t exactly get to see a lot of this world before, and I only glanced at a world map once. We're going to have to ask for directions or something."

"Maybe she'll be able to tell us something once she wakes up." Neville said with determined cheer.

"Hopefully. I just hope Konoha and whatever village she's from aren't on bad terms." 

"She's not from Konoha?" Luna asked curiously.

"No. See her headband? I don't remember which village that represents, but it's definitely not Konoha. They have a thing that sort of looks like a bird with a spiral in the middle that's supposed to be a leaf. This sort of looks like a side view of the starship Enterprise… It might be Cloud village. We'll have to ask her."

Harry noted Tom and Luna were both rather twitchy.

"What? Are those ninjas catching up?"

"No… I can feel something on me. It's faint, but I don't like it." Luna shrugged.

"Something on you, you say?" Tom said in interest. "I didn't get that, I just knew something was off. Hold still. I'm going to see if I can find whatever it is."

"You know…now that you've called attention to it…yeah, there's something different." Neville agreed.

Harry finished healing what he could of the ninja girl they'd rescued and strengthened the sleep spell he'd put on her--he didn't want her waking in a panic and attacking while they were up in the air, after all-- then closed his eyes and began taking careful stock of himself to see if he could find whatever was bugging everyone.

"There is something…it's small, whatever it is. I almost overlooked it." Tom noted as he dug around for a container.

He found a small empty vial in one of his pockets and tapped it with his wand before tapping Luna on the top of her head and then repeating it on himself and Harry who was also in reach. Harry crawled forward to take over directing the carpet so Neville could get hit as well once he switched places with him. Tom held up the vial and frowned.

"There's nothing in… wait, no, I'm wrong. There is something there, it's just so small I nearly missed it."

He cast a magnification spell on the vial and held it up to study the contents that he could now see a bit better--a small pile of white dots. Neville leaned in to take a look as well.

"Looks like plant spores."

"It must be a parting gift from that weird plant man, though whether it was intended to harm us or track us I couldn't say."

"Best get rid of them regardless." Luna opined.

Tom looked ever so briefly pained at the loss of a learning opportunity, as did Neville. Tom contented himself with a few scans which he offered to share before vanishing the lot. Upon consideration, he tapped the ninja girl and the carpet to remove any spores he might have missed and vanished those as well.

"Looks like a cave up ahead. Someone scan for life signs. We can set up camp for a bit, get something to eat, question our ninja friend here, and take a closer look at the cave and those weirdos."

"Sounds like a plan. It seems to be clear. The front end might be a bit of a squeeze, but there's space enough for the cabin a bit further back." Tom offered.

"Any sign of the creeps?" Neville asked.

"We seem to have lost them for the moment, but we'll have to keep an eye out." Luna replied as Harry brought them to the cave he'd spotted, which was about three-quarters of the way up on the mountain they were passing.

When they landed, Harry conjured a stretcher to carry the ninja girl, Luna grabbed the cabin from Tom and darted ahead to set it up. Neville grabbed the carpet and rolled it up following after them. Tom layered an illusion to disguise the cave opening and then began laying wards around the cavern to hide their presence and alert them if anyone found them.

When he entered the cabin, he found the other three gathered around the ninja girl who had been laid out on the chaise lounge in the front parlor.

"Just in time. We were about to wake her up. I put a sticking charm on her so she can't leap up and try to kill us all. She'll probably be panicked when she wakes, considering how we found her." Harry noted.

"Maybe we should step back and make sure Luna is the first person she sees. We don't know what all was done to her before she ended up in that cave." Tom suggested.

Harry and Neville both grimaced and nodded, taking a step back.

"Maybe we should just take ourselves to the kitchen and get started on lunch and let Luna handle things for now." Neville agreed.

"Probably not a bad idea. Just let her know how she ended up here, give her a chance to clean up and all. Join us whenever you're ready." Harry nodded.

"Will do." Luna agreed. "Ennervate."

The ninja girl continued to lay there passively, eyes closed.

"Please be at ease. You're safe. My friends and I took you from those people who had you. You're not in danger. None of us are ninjas. We're not from this area, so we're not sure which village you hail from, or how far you are from your home village. We're hoping you can give us some idea of where we are while you're at it. We're in a safe place at the moment, but I feel I should warn you that two of the ninjas that had you chased us for a while. We were on a flying carpet, so we were able to lose them in the mountains, but they may not be too far behind us by now. We've hidden ourselves, so we should be safe enough, so please don't worry."

The woman opened her eyes and her gaze took in Luna, then darted around, quickly cataloguing all she could see. Luna could almost see her calculating the distance to the door, eyeing the room for possible weapons, and listening carefully to discover who else was nearby and whether she could make a run for it before they could reach her. Luna made a point of staying relaxed and non-threatening, and waited.Sure enough, a moment later she saw her muscles twitch in readiness to escape, only for her brow to crease and her gaze grow panicked for a moment before being swallowed down, her face becoming impassive once more.

"You're stuck to the chair you're on. You suffered a recent trauma and we feared you'd panic and attack the moment you woke. My friends headed off to make lunch for all of us so you wouldn't be confronted with a whole group of strangers. If I let you loose, do I have your word you won't attack any of us?"

The woman stared at her for a long moment and then nodded.

"You have my word." Luna did a silent finite incantatum and tucked her wand away.

"Would you like to clean up? You're covered in quite a lot of blood. I can lend you a robe while we wash your clothes."

The woman stared at her again before answering.

"That would be acceptable."

"Alright. Follow me. We can join the boys and get lunch once you've cleaned up some."

The woman's stomach gurgled and she grimaced with embarrassment. Luna's gurgled a moment later, but she just laughed.

"Goodness. I guess we're both hungry. Oh, I just realized I hadn't bothered to introduce myself. I'm Luna."

"Yuugito Nii." the woman answered.

 

Yuugito took a better look around as she climbed to her feet. They were in a large open room that seemed to be divided into a living room and kitchen. Three young men were across the room in the kitchen part. All three turned to look at the two of them curiously before turning back to their own discussion, and in the case of one of them, went back to the stove where he seemed to be preparing food.

The girl, Luna, led them to the stairs at one end of the room and upstairs to one of the many doors lining the upper hallway.

"This is my room in here." she explained as she opened the door.

Inside was a somewhat messy bedroom. A pile of folded laundry that hadn't been put away sat on a shelf across the way, the desk was piled with books and scrolls. Ceramic butterflies painted in bright colors were scattered across one wall, while another held a couple of movie posters. Luna ignored most of the room and moved to the door on one wall, gesturing her through.

"Here. You can take a shower in there. Put all your clothing in the hamper there and it'll be sent down to be washed. Oh, I should make sure there are towels… Ah, hold on a moment."

She left the room. Yuugito followed her and peeked out into the hall to see what she was doing. She opened a cupboard door in the hallway and withdrew a couple of thick, fluffy towels and brought them back with her, handing them over when she returned.

"Oh…I should get you some underwear. You're in luck. I recently bought some new stuff that I haven't worn yet. It's one size fits all so don't worry about that." Luna chattered as she went digging in one of the drawers.

She withdrew a pair of thin, stretchy pants that looked like they'd go halfway to her knees and a stretchy tube of material that she assumed was meant as a breast binding. She set those on the bed and moved to the closet, where she pulled down a white terry-cloth bathrobe. There were blue and purple flowers embroidered around the collar, the pockets, and the cuff of the sleeves. She laid that out on the bed and took her back in the bathroom where she grabbed a toothbrush in a wrapper from beneath the sink and laid it out, showed her where the soap and shampoo and toothpaste were and how to turn the water in the shower on and off and adjust it before telling her to join them when she was ready.

"Ah…thank you. I think I can take it from here." Yuugito said, attempting to be gracious.

Luna just gave her a brief smile and left, closing the bedroom door behind her. Yuugito saw a lock on the door and slid it across, feeling some of the tension in her shoulders decrease once she'd done so. It was a flimsy barrier to anyone determined to get inside, but it made her feel better nonetheless.

Once the door was secured she sank onto the end of the bed, still clutching the towels she'd been given and focused on just breathing. The last thing she remembered was battling two men in black cloaks with red clouds on them. She'd been confident in her ability to protect herself, at least at first, but nothing she did seemed to be enough to keep either of them down. She'd even transformed, and it still hadn't been enough. She knew, deep in her bones that she had come very close to death, even if she couldn't actually remember it. To wake and find herself with a new group of strangers, however harmless they seemed to be, really did nothing to calm the tension thrumming through her veins and demanding she do something. She sat quietly and she breathed until she no longer felt like she was about to jump out of her own skin. When she felt calmer and more in control, she rose and headed for the bathroom.

 

Once cleaned and feeling marginally more human, Yuugito retraced the path she and the other woman had taken earlier. She took the time to get a better look at the many strange moving photos that lined the walls. There were photos of people and landscapes. The landscapes were unfamiliar, as was the architecture of most of the buildings. She continued eyeing the photos as she went, taking in details so she'd have something to report when she eventually returned home; especially given she didn't remember anything after having been subdued by those two freaks who just wouldn't die.

Her hands clenched at her sides for a moment, but she made herself relax and keep walking. She was a jounin of Cloud and the host of the two-tails. She would not falter. She could smell food--fish of some sort, fresh bread and tea--and her stomach gurgled again in anticipation. The woman from earlier and her friends were gathered in the kitchen area.

The eldest of the bunch was peering into a large stone bowl, face blank and eyes vacant. A stocky, tall boy with blonde hair the color of her own was pouring tea, while the woman laid out dishes on the table. The last of them seemed to be in charge of the food. He transferred a pot to the center of the table and then busied himself gathering the rolls that were cooling off to the side, gathering them in a couple of baskets which he laid at either end of the table.

"Toys away, it's time to eat." he told the guy with the bowl.

The one with the bowl stirred and shook himself, his face losing the look of vacant concentration. He grumbled a bit, but he gathered the bowl and the pile of papers he'd been working on then waved a stick over the lot, making them disappear--a summoning of some sort? Luna smiled at her when she appeared.

"Good timing. Everything's ready." she offered, as she began dishing out what seemed to be a thick stew of some sort.

"It's seafood chowder. You don't have any shellfish allergies or anything, do you? I can find something else if you do." the boy who seemed to be the cook spoke up.

"No, this is fine, thank you. It smells wonderful."

It did too. She was half afraid her stomach was going to start complaining again, but it seemed content to keep its peace for the moment as it was about to be fed. She automatically catalogued the exits, what was near to hand that could be used as a weapon, checked for the tell-tale gleam of poison on the dishes and cutlery, and did a threat assessment on the four in the kitchen with her as she took the empty seat nearest to hand. She wasn't actually worried they would attack her; even the two tails seemed unusually quiet and relaxed at the moment--it was simply second nature to her after a lifetime spent as a ninja. Everyone was quiet as they ate, which suited her fine; she was hungry enough that the chance to simply savor the meal in peace was appreciated. When the stew was gone, the cook boy rose and pulled out several small bowls filled with a yellowish substance sprinkled with something.

"Egg custard." Harry told everyone as he handed them out, while tea boy refreshed everyone's cups.

"Aang's favorite. You're such a good big brother." Luna teased.

"I am an excellent big brother." the cook nodded. "I learned how to make ramen in preparation for this trip." he admitted with a self-deprecating grin. "Naruto's favorite."

"You have a friend named fishcake who loves ramen?" Yuugito asked with a small smile.

"Yeah, though I don't know if that was the meaning his parents intended when they named him that. He's an Uzumaki, so they might have intended 'maelstrom' which is a nice, strong name…though honestly, unless he's changed a lot, fishcake probably suits him more." he added with a grin.

"You do seem to have a type." the man at the end said dryly.

When the food was done, Luna rose and beckoned Yuugito to follow her.

"Your clothes should be done by now. I would imagine you'd like to get out of that robe."

Thought the robe was warm and fluffy, she couldn't disagree. She'd feel much more secure once in her uniform again, though she imagined it was in rather bad shape, even newly cleaned, considering the battle she'd recently been in. Much to her surprise, not only was her uniform clean, there was no damage to be seen--not that she was complaining, but she knew for a fact that her shirt and pants both should have several holes and tears in them. Her breastplate and arm-guards had nary a scratch. Even her shoes were clean and undamaged--not a fraying bit of material or blood to be seen. Even the bandages she normally wound around her forearms and the bottom of her legs looked clean and nearly brand new.

Once dressed she felt more in control and like herself again, but for one thing. Her hair tie had gotten wrecked during the battle, leaving her long, blonde hair hanging free and somewhat in the way. When she stepped back outside, Luna was waiting with a brush and a comb.

"Would you like me to braid your hair back for you?"

Yuugito felt a bit awkward at the offer, but accepted graciously even so. Her long hair, an admitted conceit in her line of work, would be a liability should she need to make a quick escape. Best it was dealt with, even if she felt awkward about it. It was nerve-wracking at first having someone so close behind her, but she relaxed in spite of herself. Luna's hands were gentle and she hummed a song quietly as she worked. If her mother had ever done this, it was so long ago now that she couldn't remember it.

"There. That should do it. You have such lovely hair. Thank you for giving me a chance to play with it."

Yuugito felt along her head to see what she'd done. Her hair was braided tightly against her skull and then hung in a long, tight braid down her back, secured along its length with several stretchy bands to hold the braid together so it wouldn't start unravelling should she be in battle, which was thoughtful of her…and strange. A civilian normally wouldn't consider things like that, as most civilians wouldn't be doing anything that would cause such a thing to happen, and wouldn't consider what a liability it could be in the right circumstances.

Luna led them to another room where the others were waiting. It was a good-sized room, filled with books and scrolls --more than she'd ever seen in one place outside the library or the records room. There was a large desk at one end, which is where everyone was gathered.

"Ah, Yuugito-san, good. I imagine you have questions about how you came to be in our keeping. We thought it would be easier just to show you." the cook boy said as they moved closer.

"This is what is known as a pensieve. We can remove memories from our minds and place them in here and then immerse ourselves in them." the oldest one, who had been staring into the stone bowl, that was now on the end of the desk, explained. "Your mind takes in a lot of details that your aren't aware of at the time. This allows you to go back and examine everything at leisure."

Everyone gathered around the end of the desk, leaving a space for her.

"Just relax and stare down into the bowl. You may feel like you're falling, but that's just your mind connecting with the memories." tea boy assured her. "It's kind of weird, really, but it is very useful."

Somewhat wary, she moved to stand with the others and glanced down into the bowl. The bottom seemed to be filled with silver mist… She was falling then, and the mist surrounding her darkened and began to morph and twist around her. She crouched warily, scanning her surroundings, only to spot herself, laying in a heap on the floor of a sizeable cavern. She was bruised and bloody, pinned to the ground with a couple of black rods. She froze, simply staring at herself, only to twitch and glance to the side when a glowing circle opened in the air and the four with her jumped out, one after another.

Cook boy went first, accompanied by a white owl. Luna and tea boy came next, followed last by bowl boy. "Well, this isn't good" cook boy laughed grimly.

"Yeah, not quite where we planned to land." cook boy spoke from behind her.

Yuugito twitched and looked behind her, only to spot Luna and the others watching themselves. She turned back around and saw cook boy pull out a rolled carpet and shove it at tea boy, even while he gestured at her body. He frowned and ran forward towards her and then leapt over her body as a freak plant man erupted from the ground where he'd just been crouched on. He gestured and flung a stream of fire into its face, lifted her and leapt onto the carpet he'd shoved at tea boy earlier, which was now flying. Movement from the corner of her eye turned her gaze from her companions fleeing with her body, to spot the two who had captured her leaping down from the massive…thing that took up the rear of the cavern and give chase. Everything froze around them.

"Any idea what these freaks wanted with you? They seem to be about to do a ritual of some sort." bowl boy asked curiously.

"It wasn't me they were interested in. They wanted what I hold." Yuugito said quietly and with bitterness as she rose to her feet, glaring at the frozen forms of her kidnappers before turning her gaze on the massive thing and the shadowy forms perched on its towering fingers.

"What you hold?" Luna asked curiously.

Yuugito stiffened slightly and turned to face them, her chin jutting proudly as she prepared herself for their reactions. "I'm the container of the two-tailed bijuu."

"Bijuu?" tea boy asked curiously.

"Oh, yeah, I remember now…they're like giant animals made of chakra. There's nine altogether. One attacked the Leaf village the day Naruto…" cook boy trailed off his eyes widening in sudden understanding as he seemed to have an epiphany of some sort. "Oh! Everything suddenly makes so much more sense now! I never could understand why… though it still doesn't really explain…but I guess they were still afraid or something…but still!"

"For those of us who can't read minds?" Luna prodded.

"I think Naruto must be the host of the nine-tailed fox. That storekeeper we went to the cops about said he was vicious, bloodthirsty demon and so she was perfectly in her rights to treat him however she wanted. We both just thought she was a mean, crazy old lady at the time… that has to be it. He was born the day of the attack, and he has marks on his face that sort of look like whiskers."

"Your friend fishcake is a host?" Yuugito interrupted.

"I think he must be, though he had no idea. They must have made it a secret, though everyone old enough to remember the attack knew and many seemed to be holding a grudge about it, which is dumb. Naruto was a baby, a newborn baby at that, the day it happened. He lost both his parents and then grew up alone with people being mean to him for no reason that he knew. We were friends when we were kids. I'm an orphan as well, so I stepped in to help him out." he explained.

His eyes grew cold as he turned to look back at the monstrous wooden statue and the shadow figures perched on it.

"Do you have any idea if they're just after hosts in general or was it your bijuu in particular they wanted? We came here to visit my childhood friend in Konoha, though obviously we missed our mark by quite a bit. If these guys are likely to be after him I'd like to be able to warn him… That’s if they haven't gotten him already." he added, voice heavy.

"That thing has nine eyes… and two of them are open… I'll say that's a yes on them being after all of them. What the hell is that thing anyway?" Yuugito could feel the two-tails roiling restlessly under her skin… "Gedo…mazo?" Yuugito repeated, not sure she'd heard right

"Demonic statue of the outer path? That doesn't make me feel better." cook boy said sarcastically.

"How do you think I feel!" Yuugito grumbled back.

 

After studying the memory of the cave extensively, they regrouped in the living room. Everyone seemed to realize at that point that they hadn't introduced themselves, with the exception of Luna. They got that out of the way and then got to work putting together what they knew.

"It's a shame most of them weren't there in person. We only have a rough idea of what any of them look like." Neville noted as he went through the sketches Tom had made earlier while going over the memory.

"We know they're all wearing those black cloaks with the red clouds, they're likely all wearing spats, and have their finger and toenails painted. They all have a ring that corresponds to the glowing symbol on the statue's fingers where they stand for their sealing ritual. And we were able to get village symbols for most of them. That's still something." Luna disagreed.

"It is something." Yuugito assured her. "Likely if the village of origin were to be contacted they could at least make a good guess as to who it's likely to be. This fellow here" she pointed to one of the sketches "I think might be Kisame Hoshigaki. He used to be one of the Seven Swordsmen of Mist Village. I saw his entry in the bingo book, and I'm pretty sure that's him."

"What about the two that were there in person? The ones that attacked you?" Tom asked.

"Them I'm actually not sure about. I don't remember seeing an entry for the masked guy, and the other guy is wearing the mark of a village I don't recognize. The masked guy at least seems to be from Waterfall. They must have some record of him somewhere."

She looked over the rest of the sketches. Her hand hovered over one of them before gently lifting it.

"This can't be possible… He has the eyes of the Sage…though the two tails said they're wrong somehow… it must be a trick. I guess whoever it is wants to trade in on the stories of the Sage of the Six Paths to enhance his reputation or something. Rain village. The only strong ninja I can recall offhand from Rain is Hanzo, but that isn't him."

"That's good to… Tom?" Harry asked, seeing him distracted.

"Just a moment. I felt something on the wards I put up." Tom said as he rose and left the cabin.

Yuugito followed them tensely. She was not going to let those bastards take her a second time. She looked curiously at the cabin as they exited. It must be a summon of some sort--a weird but very useful one, whatever it was. Fully furnished and it seemed to be bigger on the inside. They were inside a cave. She found the others gathered at the mouth of the cave behind a barrier of some sort.

"What did you feel, exactly? Did someone try to come in?"Neville wondered.

"No. It was a small ripple, it just happened to catch my attention…there. Look. There's something going on out there."

"Let me see." Yuugito ordered.

She put a hand on the barrier, but it let her pass. She stayed low as she crept out, not wanting to attract any attention until she knew what was going on.

"Oh no… they'll kill them." she whispered when she saw the culprits.

Harry crept out next to her and grimaced at the battle going on further down at the base of the next mountain. "Friends of yours?" he asked.

"They're a team from Cloud. I don't know if they're looking for me, or they just had the bad luck to run into those guys. They might have attacked them thinking they had me. They're all capable ninja, but those guys took me down with less trouble than I'd like to admit. I can't just leave them."

"Give us a sec and we'll drop you down."

"Way ahead of you. Let's go." Neville said as he came out behind them and unrolled the carpet.

"We'll stay out of the way, but we'll try to hit them if we get an opening." Luna assured her.

Tom came out last and removed the barrier, which she saw now had an illusion to hide the cave they'd been in.

The carpet rose and swooped down enough that Yuugito was able to leap off and transform. "Holy shit." Harry said gleefully as they swooped upward. Tom grabbed the back of his shirt to keep him from tumbling off in his enthusiasm.

"She's a giant glowy blue cat! That is so awesome!"

 

The Cloud ninjas got a second wind when they saw the glowy chakra monster descending to help them.

"Uh…that guy just turned into a skeleton…well, not really but…" Neville spoke up.

"He looks like he's done up in Halloween make-up. He just stabbed himself." Harry noted bemusedly.

"And that guy screamed when he did… and he's got a hole in his stomach in the same place he just stabbed himself." Tom pointed out.

"He's on a seal drawn in blood. We need to knock him off that." Harry agreed. "We should probably try to get the guy too. He's going to bleed out otherwise."

"The other guy keeps spawning tentacle monsters out of his back. One of them just shot a fireball at the ninjas." Luna noted idly.

"I'm sure they can handle it. Quick, while cat lady is between us and skeleton guy. Knock him off the seal before you do anything else." Tom said tersely.

Luna nodded and levitated the guy and flung him. Neville took careful aim and knocked him out before bringing the carpet down so Harry could retrieve the hurt ninja.

Harry glanced back at all of them and moved to the skeleton guy first, shooting a quick cutting curse at him to remove his head before doing so, his jaw and shoulders tight, before hurrying to the downed Cloud ninja who was swiftly bleeding out. All of them twitched in horror when the decapitated head woke up and started yelling at them.

"You asshole! Was it you that cut my motherfucking head off? I'm going to rip you limb from limb as soon as my head gets put back on! Motherfucking piece of shit!"

"Tom!" Harry pled as he struggled to keep the ninja alive long enough for it to be safe to move him.

"Just a moment." Tom muttered.

He pulled a bottomless bag from one of his pockets, then put it back and dug around some more. "What?" he said off Luna's look. "I don't want a creepy talking head in there. He'd probably bite me when I tried to pull it out again. Ah, here we go. This will work much better."

He eyed the battle still going on a bit further down warily as he hopped off the carpet and moved towards the head. He flicked his wand at the body, which was still motionless and impaled with several black rods like those they'd pulled from cat girl earlier. The thing's headband, which he'd been wearing around his neck when he still had one, flew over to land on the head, untied itself, settled on its forehead and retied itself to hold it in place. He ignored the head's indignant sputtering and turned back to the body. The head began screaming and cursing a blue streak when its body went up in flames. Tom unrolled the empty containment scroll he'd pulled free and channeled a bit of magic into it, smiling in satisfaction when the head and headband vanished and a symbol for 'head' appeared in the empty space in the center of the seal. A thud and a flare of light behind him made him jump and twist in place.

One of the tentacle monsters had crept up on them while miss kitty and the other three ninjas were occupied with the rest and had shot lightning at them. Neville had moved the carpet so he and Luna could shield themselves, himself and Harry while they were otherwise occupied. Tom grimaced at the thing, which seemed to just be a mass of writhing tentacles hanging from a mask face. He shot an overpowered bombarda at the mask and grimaced again when it shattered, spewing blood everywhere and released a smell reminiscent of a charnel house while it did so.

"Come to the ninja world, he said. It'll be fun, he said." Tom grumbled as he climbed back aboard the carpet.

"I said it should be exciting. Was I lying?" Harry quipped as he climbed aboard as well, tipping the hurt ninja boy off his shoulder.

 

 

 

"So what's with you anyway?" Ino demanded. "You started getting twitchy a while ago. What gives?"

"I'm not sure." Shikamaru admitted. "I woke up because I felt like something changed…but I have no idea what or how. I suppose I might have been dreaming."

"See? If you'd stay awake once in a while you wouldn't have to worry about being woken up by strange dreams."

"Troublesome."

"Ah, leave him alone Ino. You know he needs plenty of sleep to keep that enormous brain of his running." Choji chortled, kicking Shikamaru playfully in the leg when he flipped him off.

"Who else is coming? It's not just going to be us, right?" Ino asked, changing the subject.

"You're a sensor. Can't you just check and see who else is in town?"

"I'm taking a leaf from Shika's book. I'm being lazy." Ino said cheerfully as she stretched her back out, and then let herself flop down beside Shikamaru where he was reclining beneath the tree, watching the clouds. Chouji smiled at them both fondly as he dug out another bag of chips.

"Greetings! Team Gai reporting for the most-youthful comrades picnic!" a manic figure in green announced as he appeared in the clearing.

"Lee, damn it! How can you still have so much energy?!" a pretty girl with brown hair secured in buns to either side of her head complained as she staggered into the clearing as well. A silent, stoic figure in white kept pace behind her--Ten Ten and Neji Hyuga.

 

They had all first met Ten Ten and Neji when they'd ended up helping them battle Danzo 'the mummy man' Shimura and his goons years before. Ten Ten had been practicing nearby and heard the commotion and decided to help out by flinging kunai at the goons as they chased them. Neji had also been practicing, though in his case he was practicing with his Byakugan and had spotted Hinata pummeling a fake ANBU and had raced over to help out. They all owed the two of them a debt; their timely interference had probably done a lot to help keep all of them alive long enough for the adults in the village to get there.

Hinata had later confided to Ino that their battle that day, and Neji's involvement, had helped begin the process of healing a rift that had formed in her family four years prior when her uncle Hizashi, Neji's father, had been killed in the wake of a kidnapping attempt on herself by Cloud.

Lee, the third of their group, none of them had met until he'd become part of Neji and Ten Ten's team when they all graduated the Academy. He had fit right in, for all that he was a bit odd; he was friendly, good-hearted and dedicated, not to mention lethal with his taijutsu when he went all out. He was a good guy to have at your back, something they all appreciated about him.

"So…what did Gai-sensei have you doing today?" Choji asked warily.

"We've been on a training journey! We've just arrived back! We ran twenty miles every morning before breakfast with a backpack full of heavy rocks on our backs and then sparred for an hour! After eating, we sparred for two more hours and then climbed a mountain one-handed with boulders hanging from our feet! We then climbed down with the other arm and then had lunch…after that…" Lee began excitedly.

"Stop. Please. I'm exhausted just listening to you!" Shikamaru complained.

"Yeah, really. It's no wonder you're such a strong team with a work ethic like that!" Ino agreed, sounding faint.

"Hey! Why all the long faces? It's because I wasn't here, wasn't it? Well, I'm here now, so everyone get happy!" a smiling figure announced as he leapt down from a tree and landed in the clearing with them.

"Shisui-niichan!" Ino, Ten Ten, Chouji and Lee chorused. "Shisui-san." Neji and Shikamaru said at the same time.

"Ack! My adorable little minions don’t love me anymore! How cruel!" Shisui flailed dramatically, as he fixed Neji and Shikamaru with an artful pout. Neji gave him a flat look in return, while Shikamaru just sighed and muttered 'troublesome'.

"Ah, and here come my adorable baby-cousins!"

"Shisui" Sasuke nodded.

"Shisui…niichan" Sai added when he started looking sad, only to sigh when Shisui pounced on him to coo about what an adorable baby-minion cousin he was, though he didn't actually protest or pull away from him.

Sai had been a member of Root, Danzo's illegal secret army. When he and the other children were rescued from the hidden base they all were stashed in, all those who were unknown were given genetic testing to find family if they had it. The Uchiha clan had taken one look at Sai and had known him for one of theirs. There had been widespread consternation when testing revealed Sai to be Mikoto Uchiha's half-brother, making him Sasuke and Itachi's uncle, and brother in law to the clan head, Fugaku.

Mikoto was outraged that her father's remains had been violated and had been heard lamenting that Danzo was already dead as she'd quite like to kill him again. Sai was quickly hustled home with Mikoto, who had been surprised but not displeased to get a brand-new little brother at her age.

Sai hadn't wanted to be parted from the boy he'd grown up thinking of as his brother, Shin.

Shin turned out of be a Hatake. Kakashi had already fled for the hills when told he had relatives, two of them who were both children, so Mikoto agreed to take him in as well, at least, once he'd gotten out of the hospital. He'd been suffering from a disease that had nearly proven fatal as it had gone untreated. Danzo had felt medical care for shinobi--other than himself, naturally--was a waste of resources.

"Sasuke-kun! Sai-kun!" Ino cooed in welcome. "Where's everyone else?"

"Shin is on a mission, Sakura is working a shift at the hospital, and Naruto had some Uzumaki business to take care of." Sai informed them as he sat down.

He and Sasuke each added the food they were carrying to the blanket laid out in the center of the clearing.

"Ooops. I forgot to add ours." Ten Ten said with some embarrassment. She popped out a storage scroll and unloaded Team Gai's share of the meal.

"Uzumaki business?" Shikamaru asked curiously.

"Tsunade-sama went on a bender and cleaned out their clan account. They all went to the bank to find out what happened." Sasuke grumbled. "It shouldn't have. Tsunade is a Senju even if her grandmother was an Uzumaki. She shouldn't have had access to the thing. They're all really mad--not just because the money is missing, but because they needed it. They've all been saving for a while now to get their home remodeled. The contractors were supposed to be coming in a few days, but now they don't have the money to pay them for all the work they wanted done."

"Oh no. What are they going to do? If they've been saving for a while, I'm guessing just taking a few extra missions isn't going to cut it?" Lee fretted.

"Not likely. Naruto's not too worried. They all pooled their most recent mission pay when they found out. Naruto sent a clone to hit the casinos. His luck with gambling is as good as Tsunade's is bad; he's pretty sure he can manage to win all or most of it back, it's just the principle of the matter."

"It would be nice if we could count on Jiraiya-sama to keep her out of trouble, but he's just as bad." Ten Ten said gloomily.

"A drunk and a pervert. I cannot help but wonder why the Third was so cruel as to inflict the two of them on Hokage-sama as his first councilors." Neji muttered.

"Whatever their personal failings might be, they have no interest in hunting down my clan for their eyes, in raising up a secret army beneath Konoha, or any of the other nonsense the last bunch of councilors did, which makes them excellent as far as I'm concerned." Sasuke muttered.

"He also needed to do something to push his chosen successor through the vetting process. It made folks like the Daimyo and the civilian council feel more secure in the new Hokage, since he's still so young. Jiraiya and Tsunade still have a fearsome reputation, and neither one wanted to be the Hokage themselves. He got them to come back and use their reps to bolster the new Hokage until he was firmly established, and they have been helping clean house." Shisui interjected.

"Ah, enough of village politics! It's a beautiful day, and we're all here together. That never lasts long. We should enjoy the time while we have it." Ino spoke up firmly.

"And we should definitely eat!" Chouji added with a grin.

"That sounds like a good idea!" Lee agreed.

"Neji-nissan!" Neji, who had been about to join the others sitting around the food, turned at the call and stumbled back when Hinata suddenly pounced on him. Hinata's cheeks were pink, her eyes were sparkling, and her smile could rival the sun.

"Hinata-sama?"

"I did it!" she squealed.

The whole group watched entranced as Neji's normally stoic face creased in a fond, helpless smile. "Well done."

"What's going on?" Ino demanded.

"Hinata did well on our last mission." Shino informed every one as he and Kiba strolled into the clearing.

"She kicked ass, you mean!" Kiba enthused, as he joined everyone around the blanket and dropped off the pork buns they'd brought.

"Hinata-sama has mastered the eight trigrams one hundred and twenty eight palms." Neji explained with obvious pride.

"I had a good teacher." Hinata insisted, beaming at him. Neji seemed momentarily stupefied and he turned away, obviously trying to maintain his stoic façade in the face of her enthusiasm.

"We should join everyone before Chouji starves to death." he said rather than reply. "Ah, nevermind. He seems to have started without us." he added dryly.

"Sorry. I can't resist Hinata's pork buns!" Chouji apologized.

Neji seemed to be working very hard to not melt into a pile of goo as Hinata's beaming smile kicked up a notch at the compliment to her cooking. Truthfully, a lot of them were having similar trouble. The very air around her seemed to be sparkling from the force of her happiness.

A red flash popped into the clearing and resolved into Naruto and his cousin, Karin Uzumaki, who looked a bit green around the gills.

"I hate travelling like that!"

"We would have missed all the food if we walked!" Naruto pointed out.

Karin had once been a ninja for Grass village. They had all met her during their first Chunin exams. Karin had special chakra that allowed one to heal even grievous injuries if you bit her and devoured a bit of her chakra. Her mother's chakra had been the same. Her mother had died from severe chakra exhaustion--Grass had no real medical care beyond biting her for healing, and they had used her up until she died, then drug her then-ten year old daughter out of her bed in the middle of the night and thrust her into the hospital so she could take her place. Naruto had been horrified to find family, only to discover the horrible life she'd been living and had asked her to stay. She had jumped at the chance and never looked back.

She had joined the other lost Uzumakis--Naruto himself and three children of Danzo's root--and it was soon like she had always been there. The five of them had lived in the Uchiha district for several years, but they recently petitioned for clan status and been granted the land and house that had once belonged to Mito Uzumaki-Senju and Kushina Uzumaki, as well as the relics of Whirlpool that had been squirreled away by Danzo.

They had been saving up money for years to be able to fix everything up just the way they wanted when their petition was eventually granted…only for Tsunade to clean out the account and go on a drinking and gambling spree. If she had won big, she would have at least been able to pay them back. Sadly, Tsunade was known as the Legendary Sucker for a reason. Her bad luck in gambling was infamous. She'd been deeply in debt all across the Elemental Nations when she'd been forced back to the village. It had taken her years to pay off her creditors. She really should have questioned it when she found what she thought was a sudden unexpected windfall--a half-million ryo she didn't know about, but she was as impulsive as she was unlucky, and had simply grabbed the money and ran with it, only to return a week later with a sore head, a sick stomach, and a new pile of debts to her name.

"You both made it. So? What's the verdict? How did it even happen?" Sasuke demanded as the two of them sat down in the spaces opened up for them.

"The jerk at the bank reopened an old account, Mito-baachan's to be exact, rather than set up a new one. Tsunade-baachan, her brother and my mom were all on the account along with Mito-baachan as authorized people. He didn't take any of them off, he just added all of us. Tsunade-baachan cleaned out that account years ago, but went and checked it to see if there was anything left in it when she was short on money after paying off the last of her creditors. She got real excited when she found a bunch of money in there and didn't question it, and they let her take it because she was on it as being authorized for withdrawals. Stupid bastard. We made him close out the old account and forced him to give us ten percent interest for a year on the new just-us account we opened, and then I made a big deposit with my gambling winnings, and the bounties my clones decided to pick up while they were out running around. We're actually better off than we were before Tsunade-baachan robbed us, so we've decided not to kill her."Naruto explained.

"We're still going to make her suffer though." Karin disagreed.

"Well, yeah, that goes without saying. Drunken old hag." Naruto grunted.

"Wait, bounties?" Shikamaru interrupted. "You sent a bunch of clones out to gamble and they decided to pick up bounties while they were out?" he demanded with tired disbelief.

"Well, yeah. See, I sent one clone and he used our mission pay to win big and then he left the casino, made three clones that disguised themselves, split the winnings and they all spread out to hit a couple different casinos at the same time. They all won big, so they each made three clones and did it again. There was like twenty five of us by the time we were done. We were in a field outside town giving all our winnings to Gamakichi--he's one of my toad summons--and some jerks decided they were going to rob all of us. They followed us when they saw us each win big. Naturally we beat the hell out of all of them, and then we realized a couple of them looked familiar. I turned them in to the nearest bounty station, and reported it to the headman's office in the town. It turns out they'd just sent a mission to Konoha to take care of those guys because they kept preying on folks as they were leaving and they were afraid it would ruin their tourist trade. They were real impressed that Konoha seemingly responded so swiftly, so they gave me a bonus. I told Hokage-niichan when I got back, so I got the mission pay too. They'd just gotten it and it hadn't been handed out to anyone yet. I think I got a commendation in my record for good PR work too." Naruto explained.

"Only you, Naruto." Shikamaru groaned.

The all glanced up when a rather majestic snowy owl swooped down from above and circled them before seemingly honing in on Naruto and diving towards him. Naruto squawked in panic and threw an arm up, thinking it was diving for his eyes, only to relax slightly when she landed on his arm and flung her wings out to balance herself. That's when he noticed there was a tiny message tube on one of her legs.

"A message for me?"

"Preck." the owl agreed. There was a distinct sense of 'duh, genius' behind the sound.

Naruto pouted at it in disbelief. It was bad enough he had the Kyuubi in his gut sassing him regularly, he didn't need random owls doing it too.

"Hold her still. I'll get it." Sasuke offered.

He handed Naruto the tube when it was removed and then stole the owl.

"Look at you, beautiful. You're definitely not from around here. Are you hungry?" he cooed to it.

Naruto huffed at him, and decided to ignore them both. The tube opened and he withdrew a tightly rolled paper that really shouldn't have fit in there which proved to have an intricate storage seal inked across its length.

"Lovely work." Karin noted, eyeing it. When released, a stack of papers with a rolled up scroll popped out. Naruto picked up the scroll and opened it, half expecting to find another storage seal, but it was actually a letter.

Karin picked up the stack of papers and began looking through them in confusion. It was a series of pictures, though most were just silhouettes in a cloud-covered cloak. They all seemed to be missing nin to judge by the struck out symbols on the forehead protectors. Behind the last of the silhouettes were three pictures with the details filled in-- a freaky plant guy with a bi-colored face, and two more missing nin that were deceased, all in the cloud cloaks that the rest were. Behind that was a disturbing picture of a freaky…thing…with manacled hands that seemed to have tiny figures perched on its fingertips and symbols in place of fingernails. Behind that was a sketch of two rings, each with a different symbol atop it. There was another seal on that page. Karin opened it and found herself with a two-inch black rod of some sort. There was a note above the seal that said it was a 'bijuu subduing, chakra disrupting rod of unknown origin' She shivered and put it back. The last page was a picture of a giant blue cat with black markings and two tails, seated beside a bull-octopus thing that seemed to be shadowing a woman and man from Cloud that simply said 'Matatabi and Gyuuki with Yuugito and B'. Still confused, she turned to Naruto to see if he knew what all of it was. She found her cousin smiling so hard his face looked about ready to split in two.

"Naruto?"

"It's from Hari! I told you about him, remember?"

"Hari? Wait…that's the ghost boy that used to possess Shikamaru?"

"What's this?" Shikamaru spoke up, hearing his name.

"Hari! He came to visit, and he brought friends! He said their gateway opened up in a weird place and they ended up rescuing the two-tails jinchuuriki from having her bijuu stolen. They grabbed her and ran for it, but some of the guys chased them and ended up running into a Cloud team, so they went and helped them. They managed to take out the two guys, but some of the Cloud nins were hurt, so they took them back to their village. He has a flying carpet! How cool is that? Anyway, they got them back and hung out with B and Yuugito--they're the jinchuurikis of the two and eight tails, apparently. He said they're on their way along with a Cloud team the Raikage sent along to escort them and bring a message to the Hokage. He's probably going to call a Kage summit or something. He sent along what they know about the guys that kidnapped Yuugito so I'd know to keep an eye out for them. He figured out about the nine-tails after talking to her and he's worried about me." he said with a relieved smile.

"Of course he is, dumbass. He's your friend, who apparently traveled across worlds to see you. Somebody who does that isn't going to be put off by a little thing you having a giant chakra beast stuffed in your gut." Shikamaru said with bored disinterest, though his voice was gentle.


	2. Cloud nins, Leaf nins and Sand nins, oh my!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and company head for Konoha. Naruto and company learn a bit more about the organization that's after him and the rest of the demon hosts.

 

 

"Ooh.  Looks like there's a festival going on." Luna said in interest.  "We can stop for a bit, right?"

"There's a casino.  It probably wouldn't hurt to try to up the amount of local money we have." Tom agreed. 

"Smells good.  I don't recognize most of the food I see." Neville added.

"I don't see any problem with it." Harry agreed, bringing the carpet in so everyone could dismount.

"We need to get to Konoha to deliver Raikage-sama's message." Samui, a jounin of Cloud who had been sent with them, objected.

"You said yourself that we were making good time.  No one else with messages is flying, so we have a bit of leeway before we're under any time constraints." Luna disagreed.  "We'll just stop for a bit.  I'm sure you'd all like a chance to stretch your legs at least."

Samui still looked displeased, but she climbed to her feet.  Her team, Karui and Omoi, seemed far more pleased with the unexpected stop.  Omoi had been rather nervous while they were flying and kept imagining increasingly weird disaster scenarios that all somehow led to all them destroying the countryside below, if not the whole world, because one or all of them fell off while in transit.  They'd had to keep diverting Karui's attention to keep her from beating Omoi's head in when his imagination started running away with him.  Honestly, after the last few hours they could all use a short break from one another.

While the Cloud team wandered off to take a look at some of the stands set up, the rest of them followed Tom into the nearest casino and each hit themselves with a good luck charm. 

 

 

 

"Ah, there you all are.  We're about ready to go if you are." Luna told Samui when they caught up to them again.  "Ooh, what is that?"

Samui sighed when the girl wandered off to browse the stalls and turned to the three guys.

"You're ready? How'd your gambling go?"

"Not bad.  We each won a little something.  We figured we'd best leave while our luck was still good.  We took the time to look around while we were looking for all of you." 

Indeed, she could see signs of it.  The blonde boy had some dango he was munching on.  The kid with glasses had a fox plush that looked like a game prize.  The tall guy was reading a scroll from a trader's stall and had a bag with more stuffed under one arm. 

"Boys? Which one do you like?" Luna called.  She had two kimonos in hand that she held up to herself one after another.

"The blue one.  It suits you." Harry said.  Neville nodded and Tom glanced up, nodding his approval as well. 

They had to wait awhile longer as the saleslady talked Luna into accessorizing while she was there.  She returned about forty minutes later with a good-sized bag. 

"Sorry.  I thought it would be a quick stop."

"No problem.  We should probably be heading out though." Samui said graciously.

They noted the ninjas seemed distracted as they headed towards the edge of town.

"Something wrong?" Harry wondered.

"Just keeping an eye on those guys there.  They seem to be tailing some people.  It's not our problem, but we'd like some forewarning if a fight's about to break out." Samui answered quietly.

"Fair enough."

As the carpet passed by high overhead, they all saw the thugs they'd been watching try to rob a group of people who were all dumping money in a bag held by a large toad.

"Why is such a large group of people meeting in the woods like that? Where'd they get all the money? Why are they giving it to the toad? Did it bewitch them or something?" Neville wondered.

"Those folks all came out of the casinos.  Huh.  They're actually clones." Karui said in surprise as a couple of them popped.  "I wonder if one of them was Jiraiya the toad sage? He might have been setting a trap to lure those guys out or something."

"Jiraiya?" Harry mused. "He's human?"

"Yeah." Omoi agreed, looking at him oddly.

"Why is he a 'toad sage' if he's human?" Neville wondered.

"There's a couple of summon clans--the toads, slugs and snakes--that can teach you the sage arts.  I don't really know the details, but they teach you to pull in and harness natural energy.  It greatly enhances your power, agility and fighting prowess." Samui explained.

"I take it that's not a common ability then?" Tom asked.

"No. Over the generations lots of people have gone off to try to learn the sage arts.  Most of them never return.  He did.  There's a reason he's considered a legendary ninja." Karui agreed. 

 

 

"We're getting close." Samui noted a few hours later.  "Unfortunately we probably won't get there until it's pretty late."

"Would it be better to stop for the night and arrive in the morning?"  Tom wondered.

"Ideally, yes, but I'm not too inclined to sleep in a tree if I can sleep in a bed tonight." Karui interjected.

"No worries.  You can sleep in a bed in a tree.  We brought lodgings with us.  Unless he moved somewhere new since we were kids, my friend has a pretty small apartment." Harry assured her.

"These trees are certainly large enough." Tom agreed.  "Tell me these aren't the _'mondo trees some guy grew with his mind'_."

Karui cackled at hearing the mokuton described in such disrespectful terms, while Omoi began fretting that the ghost of the First Hokage was going to haunt them for dissing his legendary mokuton.

"These are them.  Pretty impressive, aren't they?" Harry said, looking around with a nostalgic smile.

"Unreal, I'd say.  I think they put the redwood forest to shame." Neville spoke up.

"The forest in Gaipan too." Luna agreed.

"I wonder if I can get seeds or cuttings…" Neville mused.

"I'd be real careful about that.  Who knows what effect a clone tree filled with some dead ninja's ridiculously potent life force would have on the world.  Remember the planet's avatar has a wrath of god mode." Harry cautioned.

"Yeah, that's true, isn't it? Damn." Neville grumbled.

Luna directed the carpet onto a wide, sturdy branch.  Tom wandered to the trunk and examined the wide space where all the branches split to form the crown. 

"Plenty big enough.  Hell, we could probably throw Hogwarts in there and have room enough." he mused.  His log cabin formed in the center, and he busied himself setting wards around the perimeter--to keep people from noticing them, warn of intruders, and to keep the weird plant man's spores away. 

B, the eight-tails jinchuuriki, the Cloud team that they'd run into while hiding with Yuugito, and all of them had been covered in the things after their run-in with the cloud-cloak guys.  The team they were currently with had been dotted with them as well.  He'd been making spot checks during their journey, and the spores were everywhere.  He'd ended up making a spore-repelling charm to hit all of them with.  They still didn't know what their purpose was, and truthfully, after seeing how freaky his two friends were, he wasn't of a mind to find out. 

By the time he had finished and gone inside, Harry was busy preparing dinner with Luna and Neville's help, and the ninjas were nowhere to be seen.

"They decided to take advantage of a chance to bathe and change into off-duty clothing." Luna explained, seeing his look.  "They quite like your cabin.  Omoi remarked that they never get to stay anywhere this nice when they're on missions usually."

"It is quite nice, isn't it?" Tom said smugly, ignoring Neville and Harry when they rolled their eyes at him. 

 

"Something smells good.  This is a good mission; a nice room to sleep in and a home-cooked meal.  I can't remember the last time I had one of those.  I usually just grab take-out when I have a free moment." Omoi said after taking a deep sniff in appreciation. 

"You're in for a treat then.  Harry here is a surprisingly good cook." Neville replied.

"I've come to enjoy it when I do it for people who appreciate it.  I wasn't too fond of kitchen duty when I was still with the Dursleys." Harry muttered. 

"Do you need any help with anything?" Omoi asked.

"Thank you for offering but we're actually just about done here.  Most of it was already made, it just had to be heated up." Harry assured him. 

"This is turning out to be a pretty cool mission." Samui as she strode in a few minutes later. 

"I want you guys on all my missions." Karui agreed.  "Mmm.  Is that curry? Yum."

"It is.  You're just in time."

"Ooh, and plum wine as well.  You're spoiling us." Karui said with a grin as she took her seat.

"Here's to good food!"

 

 

After an enjoyable meal and a good night's sleep in a comfortable bed, the ninjas were eager to get started early the next morning. 

"As much fun as it's been, we are on a mission." Karui said with some regret.

"And if we don’t deliver the Raikage's message in a timely manner, the Hokage will miss the summit…and then nothing will get done…and then B and Yuugito will get taken…and those freaks in the cloaks will make a super-bijuu…and the world will be destroyed." Omoi agreed.

"Will you stop being so pessimistic?" Karui shrieked. 

"Let's move out." Samui said calmly, striding outside. 

It was about two hours later when they could first see Konoha in the distance, when they reached the road that led up to the gate. 

"There it is.  I hope Naruto got my message alright." Harry fretted.

A shriek from above heralded Hedwig's arrival. 

"Hey, girl.  I see you made it here okay." Harry said with a smile when she alighted on his arm. 

Omoi twitched and scooted back when a snake head peeked out of Tom's collar right in front of him and flicked her tongue in Hedwig's direction.  Hedwig fluffed her feathers and made a mocking chirp at her.  Nagini tried to lunge, but Tom rubbed her head idly until she calmed down, and she soon vanished into his collar again.  She could smell the village close by and was getting impatient to be unshrunk.  Hedwig wasn't helping, stupid fluffball; she wouldn't shut up about her being a glorified worm now.  She really wanted to bite her.

 

Tom brought the carpet to a stop just outside the gates and let everyone dismount, while Luna did a discreet cleaning charm on everyone to remove travel dust. 

"Looks like this is where we part ways." Harry remarked.  "It was lovely meeting all of you.  Who knows, perhaps we'll cross paths again before we leave."

"It was a pleasure travelling with you." Samui nodded.  Karui and Omoi each smiled and nodded, following after her.

They let the ninjas go first and sign in.  They were led off by an ANBU in a cat mask right after.

"Um…are one of you Hari-san?" a red-headed girl who was lingering at the gate asked.

"I'm Harry.  Hello.  You are?"

"I'm Yoko.  I'm Naruto's sister…half-sister."

"You are?" Harry asked flatly.  "That's a pretty neat trick considering his parents died the day he was born and you're younger than he is."

The girl flushed uncomfortably and fidgeted in place.  "I was part of genetic experiments led by Danzo-sama." she said quietly. 

"The mummy man?" Neville asked.  

"My…mother…had special chakra.  He wanted to be sure it wasn't lost." she said bitterly.  "Look, I was stuck waiting here because my idiot brother ran off. Karin's at work, and Arashi and Asahi are out on a mission.  You just missed him.  The Kage of Sand got attacked by the cloud-cloak weirdos and he and a couple of teams went to help out."

"I see.  Any idea of when he'll be returning?" Harry asked.

"No idea, but probably not longer than a week at most.  Depending on the situation he could be back tomorrow." she shrugged.  "Since you all were expected, you've already been cleared to enter, you just have to sign in.  I'm supposed to take you to the compound."

"Alright.  You have a compound? He doesn't live in that little apartment in the building that looks like a strawberry cake anymore?"

"We all, all but Karin, lived there the first few days after we were released into his custody.  After that we all went to live in the Uchiha district.  Auntie Mikoto offered us space there so he could go to school and there'd still be somebody around to look after the rest of us.  We moved in with an old lady we all called Granny.  She made sure we ate and had clean clothes and stuff like that, we helped make sure her roof didn't leak and helped her carry groceries.  We were all happy there, but we figured we should try to stand on our own feet and not depend on the Uchihas for everything after Granny died.  We've been saving up money the last two years while petitioning for clan status.  We actually just moved in not that long ago.  The place is a bit beat up" she admitted.  "We have contractors in fixing the place up.  I'm afraid we're not going to be very good hosts."

"It's alright.  We brought lodgings with us.  I figured he wouldn't have room in that tiny apartment." Harry assured her as he took a moment to sign in now that the rest were done.  He saw the rest of them had named themselves "Runa, Nebiru and Toma of the Kuro (Black )clan" so he followed their lead.  Kuro was an easier name to note down than Longbottom, Lovegood, Riddle or Potter.   There had been some talk back home of all the non-Asian wizards renaming themselves to better fit with the languages and culture of their new world.  There was a lot of resistance, though more and more people were getting on board because many of their names tended to get somewhat mangled in the local language.  He and Tom were considering it, they just hadn't settled on a name they both liked.

 

 

"So…Yoko, was it? You said you were Naruto's half-sister.  Who's your father?" Harry asked curiously.

Yoko flushed uncomfortably again.  "Nawaki Senju." she said quietly.

"Ah.  Who's that then?"

"He was the grandson of the first Hokage, younger brother to Tsunade-sama.  He was killed during the second great ninja war.  He was a genin, just a kid, and somehow he and his team ended up on the front lines.  He was torn apart on the battlefield." she said stiffly.

"Ah.  I'm sorry to bring up such a painful subject.  Why are you Uzumaki and not Senju?"

"Because I have red hair and chakra chains and a talent for seals, and Naruto was more determined than Tsunade was.  She gets weird around me.  There are days she can barely look at me and others where she gets…clingy."

"Kind of a mess, huh?" Neville interjected with a wince. 

"You mentioned some other names.  Are they teammates or are they more Uzumakis?" Luna wondered.

"More Uzumakis.  Danzo-sama had his Root force grab survivors of the fall of Whirlpool.  They slew any adults and took the children.  Most of them didn't survive long, but he had DNA samples to play with.  Arashi and Asahi are all that remain, other than myself."

"And the last? Karen?"

"Karin.  She wasn't one of Danzo's.  Her mother managed to get away from Danzo-sama's people.  She was a powerful sensor, so she realized there was danger ahead,  evaded them and fled .  She eventually ended up in the Grass village.  She had special chakra that could heal you if you bit her.  They used her as their medical service until she died of severe chakra exhaustion and then drug Karin off to replace her.  She was sent with a team from Grass for the Chunin exams for them to gnaw on if they got hurt.  They left her behind when they went looking for a scroll to complete the test and she nearly got killed by a giant bear.  Naruto's team rescued her, and he took notice of her red hair and questioned her.  When he found out how she was living he asked her to stay in Konoha with the rest of us."

"Red hair again.  You mentioned that as well as a reason you were Uzumaki not Senju." Harry noted.

"All the Uzumakis have red hair…except for Naruto.  I think he feels kind of left out."

"Huh.  Poor guy.  I remember him mentioning he wished he had his mom's hair when we were kids." Harry agreed.  "Still the odd one out even though he's found family."

 

Yoko led them past the Hokage's tower and then around the mountain till they came to open land, filled with many trees that cut off the clearing beyond it from the administrative centers of the village and the ninja academy.  They wandered through the woods a bit and finally came upon a grassy meadow dotted with several buildings--all of which seemed to be surrounded by construction workers. 

"Our house" Yoko pointed to the large building front and center. "Sealing workshop" she pointed to a smaller building that was off to the side away from everything else.  "Way in the back is the Uzumaki mask temple."

"It's quite a setup.  I'm sure it'll be spectacular once all the work is done." Tom said politely.

"That's what we're hoping.  Sage knows we certainly saved up enough money that it damned well better be." Yoko muttered under her breath. 

She sighed at all the workmen bustling around and the sound of hammering in the air.  "I'd invite you all in, but as you can see…"

"It's alright.  Like Harry said, we brought our own lodgings.  We can set up over there away from all the work going on." Tom pointed. 

Yoko followed them curiously, not expecting much--probably a tent for all of them to share.  She blinked in surprise at the sight of the small log cabin that seemed to pop up from the ground.  A summon of some sort?  Frankly, a tent seemed like it would have been better--more space; the place was tiny! 

She followed them inside and gaped--the place was huge inside and pretty comfy from what she could see.

"Can I stay with you guys?" she asked. 

 

 

" ** _Take that you bastard cloud freaks!_** " Naruto howled in the distance.

"Should we stop him?" Sakura wondered idly as she moved to start smashing the puppets that had attacked them now that the puppeteer was dead.

"NO NO NO!  Asshole or not, Sasori was the best damned puppeteer that ever lived!  Don’t destroy them.  These babies are going to be a huge boon to the puppeteer corps." Kankuro--ninja of Sand, puppeteer ,and brother to the Kage--squawked desperately.

"Best let him get it out of his system." Kakashi mused.  "It should make for a quieter return trip."

"Hn." was Sasuke's contribution. 

"Kakashi-sensei, he's gone non-verbal again.  We need to keep him away from his relatives for a few weeks till he remembers his words again." Sakura sighed.

**"MORNING PEACOCK!"**

"Gai seems to be having fun." Kakashi noted as he rose with the remains of the two they'd just killed sealed away. 

"Nnnng." a pained groan behind them called their attention.

"GAARA!" Kankuro said with relief, hurrying to his side to help him to his feet.

"Ah, Kazekage-sama, good to see you awake." Kakashi greeted the red-head.

**_"RASENSHURIKAN! DIIIIIE YOU SNAKE WEIRDO!"_ **

"Naruto came to help me." Gaara, Kage of Sand village said with stoic wonder.

"Your bro-ship is beautiful and eternal." Sasuke grunted. 

**"GAI-SENSEI!"**

**"LEE!"**

_**"GAI-SENSEI! LEE!"** _

**"NARUTO!"**

**"NARUTO-KUN!"**

"WOULD YOU GUYS KNOCK IT OFF! YOU'RE SO EMBARRASSING!"

"Behold.  The power of friendship." Sasuke added, deadpan.

Over at the secondary battle site, Gai, Lee and Naruto were embracing and crying, cheering about youth and hard work, while Ten-Ten yelled at all of them.  Neji stood a short distance away with his back half-turned, pretending he didn't know any of them.

Sakura cackled.  Gaara giggled.  Kakashi started reading porn and ignoring everyone.

"Leaf-nins are so weird." Kankuro commented.

"Sasori was one of yours.  He turned himself into a puppet man." Sasuke reminded him helpfully.

"Yeah, good point." Kankuro sighed.

"Hmm.  Something seems to be happening over there.  Our friends don't seem to be as happy as they were a moment ago." Kakashi suddenly spoke up.

The rest of them turned to look and found team Gai and Naruto gathered around the fallen Akatsuki members and looking somber and pissed off; a huge change from just a few minutes before.

They saw Gai crouch and then stand with a scroll in hand, then the group began making its way back towards the rest of them.  Naruto took off running ahead of the rest of them when he saw Gaara was awake and on his feet. 

**"GAARA!"** Naruto crowed happily, lunging at him, only to reconsider at the last minute whether it was a good idea to do so to someone who had recently been blown up until he was unconscious.  He checked himself at the last second and simply put his hands lightly on his shoulders and beamed at him instead.

"I'm glad to see you awake!"

"I'm glad to be awake." Gaara agreed with a small smile.  "What was going on over there?"

Naruto's smile died and he looked angry and frustrated instead.  "Those two cloud freaks weren't actually them.  They turned into Sand shinobi once they were dead.  Gai-sensei has their bodies.  I don't know what kind of jutsu they used to do that.  It wasn't a henge--you all saw how hard we had to fight to bring those freaks down.  A henge or a regular clone wouldn't have stood up to that kind of punishment."

"Your friends said that the only ones physically present at their last gathering were the two who captured the two-tails' jinchuuriki and the plant man, correct?" Neji reminded Naruto as they approached.

"If that is their standard procedure, it is likely the group prepared their odd clone jutsu beforehand and grabbed a couple of unfortunate Sand nins on their way in so they'd have back-up in case of unexpected interference." Gai mused. 

"That seems likely." Kakashi agreed, putting his book away.  "You didn't notice anything strange about them, Neji-kun?"

"Not at all.  They seemed to be exactly who they appeared to be.  Though I never encountered the Mist nin before, I have met Kabuto Yakushi before.  He was much altered, though still recognizably himself, and his chakra network seemed to be his own, not that of the unfortunate Sand nin who lay at the base of their jutsu." Neji agreed.

"Hmm.  With such a complete change, it is likely those nins were already dead when the jutsu took effect.  It seems to have been somewhat like a partial Edo tensei, though giving the form of a living person rather than resurrecting a dead one.  Jutsu like that always have a price, and it's rarely the caster that pays it." Kakashi reasoned.

"That's really bad news…not just for the fact that you might be fighting completely different people than you think you are, and that's bad enough." Ten-Ten interjected.  "Those guys were really strong and hard to beat.  From what I remember about Edo Tensei, the resurrections are only as strong as the caster can make them, meaning if they're a lot stronger than the caster…"

"So you're saying that those two, should we meet them in person, might be even stronger?" Lee wondered.  He and Gai seemed strangely cheered when Kakashi nodded thoughtfully.

**"Yosh! We shall just have to get stronger then so we can best the challenge should we ever meet again!" Lee declared.**

**"Lee! You have inspired me anew with the power of your YOUTH!"**

_"Gai-sensei!"_

_"Lee!"_

_"Gai-sensei!"_

Kankuro twitched and turned his back on the two as they began weeping and embracing as a sunset appeared behind them. 

"So _so_ weird." he lamented.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. A sparring match, a Toad Sage and a...bodhisattva?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is reunited with some of his childhood friends. Plans are made to begin dealing with the Akatsuki.

"Oh, hey Naruto…" the gate guard began as team Kakashi began to walk away.

Naruto focused his sensing outward the way his cousin had taught him and a big grin broke across his face.  "HARI!" 

He took off at a run, leapt atop the nearest building and took off at high speed across the village.

"…Your friend arrived the other day." the guard finished lamely. 

"That idiot." Sasuke sighed.

"I hope he remembers Hari-san is most likely a civilian." Sakura winced.  "Maybe we should…"

"Go.  I can turn in our report without you." Kakashi waved them off. 

Sasuke and Sakura nodded and took off after him.

"Ah, never a dull moment with those three." Kakashi mused ruefully.

"This boy from another world is probably strong." Lee said as though having an epiphany.

 **"Yosh! Lee, show him the power of your YOUTH!"** Gai smacked Lee on the shoulder and gave him a thumbs up.

Lee returned the gestured and took off after Sasuke and Sakura, a big eager grin on his face.

Neji sighed and Ten Ten groaned.  Without needing to say a word, they both took off after their impulsive teammate.

"LEE! DID YOU MISS SAKURA SAYING HE WAS PROBABLY A CIVILIAN?!" They could hear Ten-Ten scolding. 

"Idiot." was Neji's contribution. 

"Let's go make our report." Kakashi sighed, hauling Gai along by his vest. 

 

 

Harry had a half-second's warning to move out of the way.  He did so and saw a blond stagger past, waving his arms to keep his balance.  Harry snagged the back of his flak vest and hauled him upright.  The blonde turned, grinned, and pounced.

"HARI!"

Harry staggered back slightly on impact, but he was smiling as well. 

"Naruto! You're back, huh?  Well, let me get a look at you."

Naruto clutched at him for a few seconds more before taking a step back and rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Sorry! I guess I got carried away! I was just really excited!"

Harry just punched him lightly in the shoulder.  "Same.  Well, look at you.  You look like a real ninja."

"Oi! I am a real ninja!" Naruto insisted, scrunching his face up. 

Harry grabbed the front of his vest and tugged him to the side just as two more ninjas leapt down from the rooftop.

"Hari-san? Are you in need of medical attention?" the pink-haired girl asked solicitously, before glaring at Naruto and smacking him in the head.

"Uh…no?" Harry said in confusion, before cocking his head slightly and looking slightly peeved. 

Yet another ninja--this time wearing a suit of green spandex and orange legwarmers, sporting a bowl cut and an epic pair of eyebrows, landed in their midst, zeroed in on Harry and stared at him with manic intensity.

"You are the one known as Hari-san? Fight me!" he demanded, before getting into a stance.

"You realize we're in the middle of a busy street, correct? Who are you anyway?" Harry wondered, just as Naruto bristled and waved his arms indignantly.

"OI! Bushy-brows, no fair! If anyone's going to fight him it's gonna be me!"

Harry sighed as two more ninjas landed in their midst.  The girl with buns in her hair whacked Lee over the head with a folded fan she pulled from somewhere, while the guy in white with the blank white eyeballs focused on Harry--and boy was it a bit unnerving to be the sole focus of that blank white gaze. 

"We apologize for our teammate.  He gets…overzealous."

"Hn." Sasuke grunted.

"Surrounded by idiots." Sakura muttered. 

Luna's tinkling laugh quieted the arguing ninjas. "You seem to be rather popular all of a sudden."

"So it would seem." Harry agreed dryly.  

"Introductions would be nice." Neville added.

"Neville, Luna, Tom, this is obviously Naruto.  These two are Sakura and Sasuke.  These two I recognize, but I don't…wait, no I do know your name.  You're Neji, correct?"

"Neji Hyuga." the white-eyed boy nodded regally. 

"Your name I'm afraid I don't know…though I do know you have excellent aim."

"Ten Ten, and yes I do."

"Nice to meet you.  You, I don't know at all… does your father dress the same way?"

"Nah, that's Bushy-brow"s sensei." Naruto informed him.

"Gai Maito, not _Bushy-brow's sensei._ " Sakura growled.

"I am Rock Lee." Bowl cut boy announced.

"Nice to meet you as well.  As for your earlier demand…well, I'm certainly willing, though I doubt I'd be much of a challenge for any of you.  While I have kept in practice, it's not a way of life for me like it is for all of you." Harry reminded them. 

"You did go to war for a year." Neville interjected wryly.

"Yeah, and I was mostly sneaking around gathering info to send to the Earth/Water alliance and blowing stuff up!" Harry protested.

"And we're always running across bandits attacking caravans." Luna added.

"We helped them take care of the last few so I could heal the guys that were down!"

"Oh, and fighting pirates.  That's always fun." Neville nodded. 

"I sat that one out! There weren't enough to go around!"

"Azula, Tai Lee, Suki…" Luna, counted off on her fingers.

"Friendly spars, and I rarely see them!"

"That guy Jet whenever he wanders by." Neville reminded her.

"Ah, yes, can't forget Jet.  Or Zuko.  Or Sokka." Luna nodded. "The Raging Valkyries too.  Can't forget them."

"Again, once in a while!  Don't make it sound like I'm off battling day and night!"

Tom snickered at him when Harry huffed irritably.  He shot a glare his way when he saw the green kid was practically vibrating in place in his eagerness to throw down. 

"Back off, Bushy brows! I'm calling dibs!" Naruto said dramatically, pointing at Lee.

"We'll battle for the right of first challenge!" Lee said with equal drama, pointing back at Naruto.

One could almost see lightning crackle between them when their gazes met.  Harry sighed and rubbed his head as they began a fast-paced game of rock, paper, scissors to decide who got to beat him up first.

"Again, we apologize." Neji offered.

"Ditto." Sasuke agreed.

"Idiots." Sakura and Ten-Ten concurred.

 

Lee won the right of first challenge.  Naruto pouted and complained the whole way to the nearest training ground and flopped down in a sulking heap on the sidelines. 

"I hope this wasn't a bad idea.  Lee is devastating when he goes all out, and he can get carried away in his enthusiasm." Sakura fretted.  She was already in the process of doing an internal chakra check to be sure she had enough to heal Harry should it prove necessary.

"Lee is professional enough to know not to go all out in a friendly spar with a civilian, even if he's a trained civilian." Neji scolded. 

"That's true, don't worry so much." Ten Ten agreed.  "I was more concerned with him being rude and overwhelming than that he was going to seriously hurt the guy."

Harry handed Tom his glasses and headed out to the center of the field while casting a charm across his eyes so he could see.  The guy was way too eager for him to want to take the chance of getting an eyeful of broken glass--which was more likely than he really wanted to consider.  The guy, Rock Lee, seemed to be a taijutsu specialist, given how solid he was--that green outfit hid nothing--how bulky his legwarmers were; probably weights of some sort, and most importantly, the fact that he felt like a muggle compared to the rest of them, if an uncommonly powerful one.  He drew up his meditation quiet place as he moved to stand opposite his opponent; he had no doubt he was going to need the clarity and focus to even hold his own, even if the kid didn't go all out on him.  Harry was justly proud of his skills--he'd worked hard at them after all, but he was not so arrogant as to assume his hobby practice would equal someone for whom it was both a way of life, and more importantly, a very literal matter of life and death.  He would be pleased to escape this spar without embarrassing himself too much, and not getting too badly hurt.  If he could make a decent showing while he was at it, that was a bonus and nothing more. 

He bowed to his opponent, who gave him a blinding smile that seemed to be all teeth and returned the gesture.

 

 

"Your friend's style seems to have some elements of the gentle fist." Neji noted once the fight began.

"Ah, that's part of the Air Nomad's style he learned from Aang." Neville replied. "You can tell how much time he's spent with Azula.  He's incorporated quite a lot of her fire style as well."

"In self-defense she's begun incorporating a lot of his style in return, and it's made her ten times more dangerous…at least so the letter he got from Zuko seems to indicate." Luna giggled.

"Why isn't he using any jutsus? Lee's going to smear him all over the field if he sticks just to taijutsu." Naruto complained, though he sounded worried.

"Harry wouldn't in a friendly spar, not against someone who can't do the same in return.  His overblown sense of fair play wouldn't allow it." Tom sighed.  He noted the slight stiffening of the ninjas that seemed to be part of the green-boy's team. 

"He feels differently than the rest of you, and he's obviously a taijutsu specialist.  If I was able to guess that much, you can be certain Harry did.  Outmatched in pure taijutsu or not, he wouldn't consider facing him with anything else, not unless he was trying to kill him or one of us." he explained. 

Luna noted that, if anything, Lee's teammates, and Sakura, had all gotten more uncomfortable at Tom's explanation, not less.  Upon thinking about it, she thought she knew what the problem was.

"Anything he could throw at him that would be strong enough to stop him, and make the danger of letting him get close while trying to pull it off worthwhile, would likely be damaging, if not outright lethal if there was no readily available medical help, which is of course not at all in the spirit of things.  Anything less Rock-san would probably be able to barrel through or shrug off, or just close with him before he had a chance to get it off, and so isn't really worth the bother.  So, in the spirit of this being a friendly spar, straight taijutsu it is, even if he knows he's outmatched should Rock-san go all out.  There's also some lingering issues from that war he was in, and he's already been forced to kill someone just in the time we've been here.  I'm actually sort of glad that fellow was some weird zombie creature.  I think he was able to shrug it off so easy because of it." Luna mused.

"He's surprisingly flexible for a civilian." Ten Ten noted.

Neville snickered.  "He saw a movie called 'drunken master' when he was little and recreated the training for himself. 

"How ironic." Neji sighed.  Neville, Tom and Luna all glanced at him, waiting for him to elaborate, but he said nothing more.

"He's going to end up getting creamed eventually if he doesn't start fighting offensively.  Well, he'll probably still get creamed, but at least he'll make a better showing." Sasuke grunted.

"The bulk of his fighting style is defensive.  We don't have ninjas, he's not part of the police force or anything, so he never really went looking for anything like that.  He was more concerned with self-defense." Neville explained.  "When he wants to go offensive, he has a sword for that, though he recently traded it in for a shakujo.  He's trying to turn over a new leaf and all."

"He's a swordsman?" Sasuke asked in sudden interest.  "Is he any good?"

"He tested himself against a respected sword master of Fire Nation, Master Piandao and was declared a master, so yeah, I guess he's not bad." Luna nodded.  "I'd probably wait for another day to challenge him though.  He's already tiring out, you can see it.  Your friend there is pretty relentless."

"Lee's not going anywhere near all out, but he's lasted an good amount of time even so.  We should probably force an end to things though.  Hari's style is different enough from what he usually spars against he's going to want to keep going just to test out all his limits." Ten Ten fretted. 

"That Lee guy is really fast.  I'd like to see him go all out at some point.  I'm pretty sure Harry will as well, he just won't want to be on the receiving end.  Even holding back like he is he's already pushing what Harry can deal with, and I can see from here those kicks hurt when they connect even with him redirecting the bulk of the force." Neville winced. 

"Harry's a glutton for punishment." Tom sighed.  "I think he's an adrenaline junkie."

"You say that like you're not." Luna laughed. 

"Someone call time." Sakura ordered.  Lee was getting that look in his eye that said his blood was pumping and he wanted to start pushing the envelope.

The sound of a bell ringing echoed through the clearing.  The two in the field halted and turned to look at them and seemed to realize a time out was being called.  Harry stepped back and bowed, which Lee returned respectfully.  He had been able to see how Hari-san had been struggling, as well as his refusal to back down or give up.  It had been an inspiring performance for a civilian.  Truly Naruto's alien friend was full of youth!

 

"Thanks for going easy on me.  Just how much weight are you hauling around under those anyway? Even taking it easy you've got a kick like a mutant super-mule on steroids." Harry wondered as he rubbed his shoulder.  He'd managed to redirect most of the force, but damn if his shoulder wasn't aching.  His whole body was likely to be one big bruise tomorrow.  He had known he wouldn't measure up, but damn if it wasn't a bit disconcerting just how big the gap was!

"I'm not quite sure what they're up to now, as that would require taking them off to weigh them! My sensei has forbidden me to do so except in an emergency when every last scrap of my fighting spirit is needed, or when he gives permission!"

"You didn't add up the weight when putting them on?" Harry asked, confused.

"Ah, I understand your confusion.  They are not weighted blocks as such, they're special seal-drawn weights.  They absorb chakra passively from me all the time and slowly increase as time goes by." Lee explained.

"Isn't that dangerous? What if they get heavier than you can deal with?"

"It is my responsibility to make sure I am always strong enough by constantly pushing my training to new heights!" Lee declared.  A blaze seemed to alight within him.  "Always push a bit further, go a bit longer, dig deeper to find every hidden scrap of strength! It is my goal to never rest and always keep striving to be better, stronger, faster than I was a month, a week, a day…an hour before! That is my ninja way! I was not born a genius, and so I made it my goal to be a genius of hard work and never allow my limitations to be limitations, but only goals to surpass each time I reach them!" he concluded passionately.

"That's very admirable, Rock-san.  Perhaps we can do this again before I finish my visit."

"It would be my very great pleasure, Hari-san!"

"Okay.  I need to go sit for a bit.  What sparring I do, the rare times I get to, I'm very rarely pushed to my limits.  It's just not necessary where I live, nor do I have the free time to do so.  I'm still in school, and I have a domain and an international company to run.  I'm lucky most days if I have a chance to get my regular exercise in.  I've no doubt I'll be feeling this tomorrow, but that's a good thing.  It's not something I experience often these days." Harry confided as he began stretching to cool down some. 

"I shall ask Gai sensei if you can join us for our early morning training if you like!"

"I don't want to impose.  I'm sure I'd be a hindrance."

"You would probably not be allowed to join our team training, this is true, but Gai sensei and I usually run and do extra conditioning training early in the morning before our team meets." Lee assured him. 

"We'll have to see.  Thank you for the invitation."

"Yosh! Let us all burn brightly with the power of our youth!"

"Right on." Harry nodded, bemused.  Lee was a rather excitable fellow, but he liked him, even if he was a bit weird. 

 

Naruto smiled excitedly and jumped to his feet, rubbing his hands together when the two of them made it back to the side of the field where everyone was sitting and watching from.

"Now it's my turn!"

Harry groaned and flopped down dramatically.

"Am dead.  Mourn me." he told his friends.

"Alas, poor Harry.  I knew him well." Tom said with mock solemnity.

"I wonder if we're in his will?" Luna said far too cheerfully.

"I have terrible friends." Harry sighed.

The ninjas all snickered.  Naruto groaned and sat back down, pouting.

Harry sighed again and pulled himself to a sitting position.

"Stop pouting and give me a sec.  I don't have a grumpy furball giving me endless energy.  Do you ever talk to him?" he suddenly asked.

"Not by choice.  He's kind of mean.  He's always calling me meatbag." Naruto grumbled. 

"You can't really blame him for that.  He is a prisoner.  I mean, think how you would feel in his place." Luna chided.

"Yeah, really.  We saw Matatabi fully manifested and she's huge! She towered over all of us." Neville agreed.  "Just imagine.  You're roughly the size of a mountain, a being of pure power, just striding along, doing your thing…and one day a mouse looks up at you and says, huh, you're big and scary and would make an excellent battery!"

"Worse, they succeed." Harry agreed.  "And the other mice hate and fear the mouse you're trapped in, and the mouse you're trapped in hates you, and tells you that your very being, your essence, belongs to it, your jailer.  You're trapped in a tiny place, never to roam free, or feel the wind on your face, locked away from the world.  I know none of you really gets any choice in being hosts, but the bijuu don't get a choice either."

"Worse, the only way they can affect their host is by seizing upon and channeling their negative energy to try to control their host and break free.  It makes them crazy and ill.  They're not meant to contain all that rage and hatred, but it's their only means of affecting their circumstances, but it's a no-win situation, because it makes the host unstable too, which ends up creating more hate and rage against the bijuu, so one host is put down and another is made and it all starts again." Luna said sadly.

"So…what…you're saying it's my eventual fate to go crazy and be put down like a rabid dog?" Naruto demanded--half angry, half afraid.

"Of course not." Harry scoffed, sounding offended.  "As if I'd ever let that happen to you.  No, we're going to help you train to be a perfect jinchuuriki.  Well, we'll help with the first part of it.  We don't have a waterfall of truth for you to face your dark side, but we all went through spiritual training that does something similar but in pieces.  The rest of it you'll have to figure something out.  We can talk about it later.  For now let me try and recharge a bit."

 

The ninjas watched curiously as Harry got into a meditative position. He slowly did hand signs, though they weren't any they were familiar with.

Neji put his Byakugan on and his eyebrows rose.  He seemed to be drawing energy up out of the earth, and as he did so, what seemed to be a series of extra-large tenketsu that seemed to be aligned along his spine flared one at a time and began churning, and flooding his system with energy--base of the spine, groin, stomach, chest, throat, forehead… the energy crested at the crown of his head and stuttered to a halt as if he was consciously directing it away from what he was certain was another extra-large tenketsu and sending it through the rest of his body rather than allowing it to flow where it wanted.  He was so distracted watching the energy flow and dance that for a second he didn't notice that Hari's eyes had snapped open--it was the slight tensing of his fellow nins that drew his attention to it and pulled his focus back.  A frown creased Hari's face and he turned his head slightly as his gaze darted across the ground, before glaring at a seemingly innocuous spot on the ground.  His one hand struck out suddenly and smacked the ground.  The ninjas all flipped to their feet, pulling weapons when a chalky-white humanoid with green hair shot out of the ground, looking shocked and discombobulated.  Harry's hand shot out again and pointed at the creature "LEVICORPUS!"  The thing's feet shot above its head and it was soon hanging in mid-air from nothing.  Neji could see the tall one, Toma, pointing a stick at the creature.  A thin, bubble-like barrier snapped into place around the creature, just in time for a trio of ANBU to land around it, tense and ready.

"Will everyone allow me to check you over for spores? This creature is just like the plant man we encountered in that cave, except that he's all-white and missing the fronds.  We still don't know what the spores do, just that the plant man covered us in them in the cave, and then again when we encountered  the two who subdued Yuugito.  He must have been nearby watching." Tom asked as he climbed to his feet and pulled a small jar from his pocket. 

The ninjas all exchanged a look and Naruto nodded. 

"Sure thing.  Check away." 

Toma nodded and pointed his stick at each of them in turn, including the ANBU who tensed and looked to be a second from cutting him down if he so much as twitched wrong.  When he was done, he held up the jar for everyone to see.  There was a small pile of very small white dots inside.  He handed the jar to the ANBU and retook his seat.  The ANBU, and the plant-man still in his bubble, vanished a moment later.

"I couldn't sense anything." Naruto admitted in a small voice.

"Neither could I." Harry reassured him.  "I noticed there was a mind in the ground.  The same thing happened when I was trying to grab Yuugito in the cave.  I only noticed the plant man a split second before he burst out of the ground to grab me, and only because I felt a pair of minds as he was preparing to pop out that hadn't been there a moment ago.  If there had been more people around I wouldn't have.  The rest of the cloud-cloak guys were far from us, Yuugito was unconscious and everyone else was on the carpet, and I'm familiar enough with the feel of them that I don't consciously notice they're there most of the time.  The plant man in the cave was half-black, half-white and it has two minds.  Half of him is stupid and half of him is evil.  It was that I think that drew my attention.  The one that just left was stupid…but he also felt like he was part of a hive or something.  I accidentally touched the mind of a bee once while I was meditating.  It felt sort of like that, like he was part of a larger whole."

"Did you get any sense of its intentions?" Neji asked.

"To watch and listen.  If there was more I didn't get that." Harry shrugged before glancing at the odd guy now lurking in the tree above their heads.

"Hello.  You seem vaguely familiar."

"That's Kakashi-sensei.  Doggy." Naruto added.  Harry got an 'AH!' look on his face.  "Kitty-cat is Hokage now."

"Yeah? Good for him.  He wasn't that much older than all of us, was he?"

"My brother is just that awesome." Sasuke spoke up, crossing his arms and radiating smugness from every pore.

"I guess he must be.  Geez." Harry said, impressed. 

"As fascinating as this is, if we could get back to the subject." Kakashi interjected, only to sigh as another man landed next to him.

"Hey, Pervy Sage, what are you doing here?" Naruto greeted the guy cheerfully.

"Pervy sage?" Tom snickered. 

"So…are you a lube salesman or what?" Neville wondered, pointing to his forehead where the symbol for 'oil' sat rather than the leaf symbol the others wore.

Jiraiya nearly fell out of the tree, Kakashi choked, the boys snorted and the girls, barring Luna who giggled, turned bright red and sputtered in embarrassment. 

"You brats! _From Mount Myouboku, a legend in his own time, it is I, the great Toad Sage, Lord Jiraiya!_ " the white-haired man declared dramatically while getting into a pose.

"Pervy…toad…sage?" Neville said slowly, a look of horror dawning across his face.  "Stay away from Trevor!"

"Who's Trevor?" Ten-Ten wondered.

"His pet toad." Tom informed her helpfully.

"The Great Toad Sage? You took a human form? Did you stop by to say hi or to make me go away? Shikamaru should be fine since I'm in my own body.  I wouldn't have endangered him even if I did want to see Naruto again." Harry informed him. 

"Huh?" Jiraiya said in confusion.

"What?" Harry asked, now confused as well. 

"Oh, wait, I get it! No, he's not the giant old great toad sage, he's just a regular toad sage that's also a pervert." Naruto informed him helpfully.

"Ah." Harry nodded.  "So what does that mean, exactly?  The Great Toad Sage was, well, a toad, who had special powers, so that seemed straightforward enough.  You're human though.  How are you a toad sage as well? Are you half toad? I don't get it."

Tom glanced at Harry and Neville.  Had they both forgotten what the Cloud ninjas had told them about sage animals and the humans that sometimes tried to study with them?  Though Harry's face looked innocently confused and Neville's genteelly outraged,  he could see the small glint in both their eyes that said they were trolling for shits and giggles.  _"Ah, Well, alright then."_

"Hey, are you recharged now?" Naruto suddenly asked, rubbing his hands together.

"Yeah." Harry nodded.

"You're the sage then?" Jiraiya demanded  "Are you sure? Where are your markings?"

"Jiraiya-sama?" Kakashi asked questioningly.

"I was doing research and felt someone drawing on the natural energy field." he explained.

"He was drawing up energy out of the earth.  He has a series of extra-large tenketsu that look like spinning lotus-blossoms that opened along his spine when he did so." Neji informed them, gesturing to Harry.

"Hari-san! You were holding back on me! I demand a re-match!" Rock Lee said excitedly.

"NO WAY! STOP HOGGING HIM YOU JERK!" Naruto howled in outrage.

"Not really.  I don't get superpowers when I do that, just recharge.  That's something all of us can just do--all our people, I mean.  We went through training that allows us to do so intentionally, though Guru Pathik would likely say I'm abusing his training by using it recharge rather than being one with the universe, but oh well." Harry shrugged.

"We're all already a great disappointment to him since we all refuse to become enlightened.  He'll get over it." Luna said indifferently. 

"You refuse to become enlightened." Kakashi said dryly.

"Well, yeah. I have too much to do to sit around being one with the universe.  I'm still in school, I have a domain to run, laws to help oversee as part of the Confederacy Council, an international company to run.  My godbrothers are both little and I'd like to be there as they grow up.  We're all only a step away, and at this point it remains a conscious decision.  To fully open the last gate you have to detach from the world and let go your worldly attachments.  I refuse.  It would be selfish at this point in my life, not to mention I value my worldly attachments too much to simply cast them aside so I can better contemplate my navel.  It's fine for Guru Pathik if that's how he wants to live his life.  He lives in an empty temple complex and meditates for the majority of each day, because being one with the universe is more important to him than anything else is.  I chose differently." Harry shrugged. 

"I can't just leave daddy all alone, or my boyfriend, or my friends." Luna agreed.

"I can't just leave gran, and I just got my parents back recently, and I have a new little sister I want to be there for as she grows up." Neville concurred.

Tom just nodded to show he had similar reasons that he didn't care to list off for a group of near-strangers.

 

 

 

 

"So.  Our otherworldly visitors are Bodhisattvaa?" Itachi Uchiha, fifth Hokage of Konoha said with quiet interest.

"Nah, they're a bunch of brat kids." Jiraiya scoffed.

"Yes." Neji said at the same time.

"What?! Don't be ridiculous.  A Bodhisattva would be far more impressive.  Those brats aren't even strong!" Jiraiya complained.

"I know what I saw." Neji said flatly.  "They were not lying about choosing not to be enlightened."

"Is that even important? I'm more concerned with the odd plant man that was spying on our village." Kakashi interjected.

"You saw nothing of it before the boy popped him out of the ground and Naruto sensed nothing amiss?" Itachi asked to clarify the information they'd brought back.

"There was nothing there until he smacked the ground, and then a humanoid figure separated from the earth around it and popped out of the ground.  It had no chakra and blended into the ground around it perfectly.  Naruto sensed nothing.  Hari-sama said he couldn't directly sense it either, but became aware that there was a mind in the ground while connected to the earth." Neji agreed.

"Hari-sama?!" Jiraiya sputtered, sounding aggrieved.

"He is a daimyo in his own world, as well as the head of an international company, on top of being a Bodhisattva who travels between worlds." Neji replied stiffly.  "It seemed entirely appropriate."

They all turned to look when Tsunade, trailed by her apprentice Shizune, stormed into the room.

She slammed a small jar that they recognized as the one containing spores from the plant man onto the Hokage's desk.

"That… _creature_ …is made from my grandfather's cells!" she growled.  "Does the whole world think my family is their plaything, or is this more leftover madness from that bastard Danzo and Orochimaru?!"

"That's what we're hoping to find out, if T & I have any luck with their interrogation." Itachi sighed, picking up the jar of spores and holding it up so he could see them better. 

"There's supposed to be another of these things running around somewhere?" Tsunade demanded.

"A bi-colored one with leafy fronds surrounding its head that's half-evil." Kakashi agreed helpfully.  

Itachi dug out the folder of information they had received from the world travelers as well as follow-up details they'd received from Cloud and handed it to Tsunade to look at.  Jiraiya moved to read over her shoulder. 

"Kakuzu of Waterfall? That poor bastard was still running around?" Jiraiya snorted.

"You know of him?" the Hokage asked curiously.

"Yeah.  He attacked the First once and tried to assassinate him, got his ass kicked, and crawled away home.  What he didn't know was that right after he was sent off, a delegation from Konoha offering them a bijuu showed up.  He was imprisoned for trying to assassinate an ally when he returned, even though he was under orders.  He managed to break free and cut down a whole swath of their ninjas on his way out of the village to defect.  I heard the story from one of my contacts while I was traveling.  That would have been decades ago.  It's kind of amazing he'd still be running around all this time and was still strong enough to take down a bijuu." 

"Konoha offered them a bijuu?" Neji asked, confused.

"The first Hokage gathered all the bijuu and handed them out to the great ninja villages and Waterfall, which was the first of the smaller villages to emerge, as a means of keeping a balance of power between all the nations." Itachi explained.  "Though I would imagine there was also some concern about all the bijuu remaining in Konoha once he was gone, which is likely the only reason the Second Hokage agreed to the action, as without the First around there was no one to control them, especially as my ancestor had defected by that point."

"I see.  Your ancestor?" Neji questioned. 

Itachi looked a bit pained at the question.  "Madara Uchiha.  He was head of the Uchiha Clan and was the one who made peace with the Senju clan, namely Hashirama Senju who later became the First Hokage, which allowed Konoha to be created.  It has passed down in my clan that he was actually the one to name the village, while the First is the one who named the position of Hokage.  As my ancestor later turned on the village, became the very first missing nin in fact, he has since been written out of history."

"I see." Neji said with some surprise.  "Forgive me for interrupting.  Do we have any idea how this Kakuzu was so strong given that he must have been quite elderly?" he asked, getting back to the subject.

"He did some sort of forbidden jutsu to allow him to integrate the hearts of his fallen enemies into his body which allowed him to use all chakra natures with ease and made him essentially immortal so long as he had at least one heart left." Tsunade read.  "People are insane with the sort of things they allow to be done to their bodies in search of power.  Hidan of the Hot Springs village? They haven't had a village in decades.  How old was this guy?"

"From what Cloud was able to gather, he was a child in the academy when they decided to close their ninja village and become a tourist trap instead.  He seems to have killed a shinobi for their headband and fled with it, and then encountered a Jashinist cult at some later point and allowed them to do a forbidden jutsu on his body that made him immortal so long as he killed at least one person a day." the Hokage sighed.

"…" was everyone's reaction. 

"Bunch of sickos." Tsunade said in disgust, handing the folder to Jiraiya to keep reading.  "Did they learn anything else of interest?"

"Cloud only got to question Hidan as his head, which was still able to talk, was brought back to their village after his body was destroyed.  They weren't able to find out more about what the Akatsuki's goals are.  Hidan was apparently quite annoyed that our visitors ran off with the bijuu before "Leader-sama" could explain what the group's goals were as he didn't actually know.  He was a recent recruit who joined mostly to have access to strong targets to feed to his 'god'." Itachi explained.

"Okay.  What a creep.  Who else is there?" Tsunade asked.

"Sasori of the Red Sand, and Deidara the Mad Bomber of Stone, both deceased." Jiraiya read out.  "These were the two that tried to nab the Kazekage?"

"Yes, that was them." Kakashi agreed.  "All that was left of Sasori was his heart.  He turned himself into a puppet.  Deidara had seal-drawn mouths in his hands and an inactive one on his chest that he used to imbue his clay with his explosive chakra."

"More freaks and weirdos. Who else?" Tsunade wondered.

"Kisame Hoshigaki, former member of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, and Kabuto Yakushi former genin of Leaf?  What the hell is a genin doing with this outfit?" Jiraiya wondered.

"He was apparently part of Root from a young age.  He seems to be a sage now, and has the same clan markings Orochimaru did.  He disappeared from Konoha after Orochimaru's failed invasion.  At this point our best guess is that he must have been in contact with Orochimaru before then and fled to his hideout to take over his genetic experiments.  He was believed to have died during the invasion." Itachi explained.

"So… Was Danzo behind this organization and it just continued without him or what?" Tsunade demanded.

"At this point we can only wonder." Itachi replied tiredly.

"I guess this is our half-evil plant guy?" Jiraiya asked, when he flipped to the next picture. 

"How exactly is someone half-evil?" Tsunade wondered. 

"From what Hari-sama said, he believes the black half is a parasite of some sort, perhaps an unclean spirit, that simply attached itself to a regular white plant man." Neji explained.  "The bi-colored plant man they encountered had two minds, one stupid, one evil.  The all white plant man was just stupid, though it may be part of a hive mind."

"Meaning there might be any number of these creatures running around? Does the evil parasite control their hive mind, if they actually have one?" Shizune spoke up.

"I guess? Why else would some parasite or "unclean spirit" attach itself to one of them." Jiraiya replied, making sarcastic air quotes, before going back to the file.

"What the hell? I heard she and the other two died."

"I remember the flower in the hair.  All grown up, huh?  What do you mean they all died?" Tsunade asked.

"You know some of them?" Kakashi asked.

Jiraiya held up the picture, which showed a silhouette of a woman with a flower in her hair wearing a Rain forehead protector with the symbol slashed out. 

"This is Konan.  She and two other kids were my students years ago, during the Second Great Ninja War.  They were orphans.  I stuck around for a couple of years to look after them and train them up till they were able to look after themselves." Jiraiya explained.

"There was another Rain nin in the file."

Jiraiya handed off the picture to Tsunade and flipped through till he came to another silhouette with strange eyes.

"Nagato's alive too… though that looks more like Yahiko.  He was the one with the spiky hair, but Nagato was the one with the Rinnegan eyes.  There was no third?"

"No, just those two.  According to the two tails', those are 'fake Rinnegan eyes', though it said there must be real ones somewhere or they couldn't have gotten the statue they're sealing the bijuu in out of the moon." Itachi replied.

"There was.  Nagato sprouted Rinnegan after he was attacked.  They were real.  He could do any jutsu after just seeing it once, all elements.  He was a prodigy once he awoke those eyes." Jiraiya insisted.  "But like I said I heard they all died years ago.  They started a group or something and were working towards world peace.  I guess Nagato did die, since he's not part of this group.  Yahiko either stole his eyes or did something to fake it for some reason."

"This is rather disturbing.  We've been told Orochimaru may have once been part of this group.  With the inclusion of Kabuto, that makes two nins of Konoha that are a part of it, both of whom were involved in Danzo's Root, and took part in genetic experiments.  Now we find that two other members of the group were trained by a Konoha ninja…" Itachi mused.  "And one member is likely a result of genetic experiments on the DNA of our first Hokage.  It makes me wonder if Danzo truly was behind this group, as it does seem to be another manifestation of Konoha's dark heart, doesn't it?"

"It's ridiculous.  Every time we think we've rooted out the last of it, there always seems to be more.  It would fit.  Konoha once held all the bijuu till my grandfather gave them away.  A war hawk like Danzo putting together a scheme to gather them all back into Konoha's control would certainly fit, and those other two old bastards were probably right there with him, going behind Sensei's back." Tsunade agreed grimly. 

"What a mess.  Even if it did start out that way, this group now seems to be in the control of the Rain nin with the Rinnegan eyes, and I doubt he or any of the rest of them are gathering bijuu to give to Konoha." Kakashi mused.

"Definitely not.  Yahiko especially had a bit of a grudge against the great ninja villages who played out their conflicts in the smaller nations that couldn't fight them off.  It's how he and the other two ended up orphaned, starving and living on the streets." Jiraiya agreed.  "I need to go to Rain and take a look around.  Maybe I can talk them down.  If not, I might still be able to find out what they're planning." he decided.

"Take back up.  We have no idea where Akatsuki's main base is, or how many of them are likely to be in one place.  They're strong enough to simply walk up to trained jinchuuriki and carry them off with a team of two.  It took two teams to defeat each pair that have been encountered thus far.  We also must account for the two bijuu they've already captured." Itachi ordered.

"Tenzo would be a good addition if we might encounter bijuu." Kakashi offered.

"Is he speaking to you again?" Jiraiya asked curiously. 

Shizune saw Neji was confused and curious, so she sidled up to whisper to him quietly while the rest were discussing a possible team to send to Rain to investigate.

"I have some concerns about the possible hive mind." Itachi admitted.  "If such a thing truly exists, he could be vulnerable to being taken over, and equally could serve as a window into Konoha, even if he doesn't know it.  I do not doubt his loyalty, but I fear this information might cause him some problems.  Neji-kun, how rested is your team?"

"We're well rested.  We stayed overnight in Suna after defeating the Akatsuki members who kidnapped the Kazekage, and Naruto brought us back to the village with his jutsu."

"Very well.  Please alert your team that you will be leaving first thing in the morning.  The mission will be under Jiraiya's command.

"Understood, Hokage-sama." Neji nodded.  "By your leave?"

"Dismissed."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. The Worst Break-up in History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto begins his training, Harry and the gang go sightseeing, Jiraiya and company head to the Rain village

"Ah, it's too early! I don't see why we have to get up now! This can't wait until after breakfast? Or even just daylight?" Naruto complained, yawning, as he followed Harry, Neville and Luna from the room he'd been given.

"Big brother?" A tired voice called from further down the hall.

"Ah, Yoko-chan! Sorry! I didn't mean to wake you!"

"Where are you going?" "Why is everyone awake so early!" Karin growled, glaring at all of them.

"Geez, Karin-chan, I woke you up too?"

"You woke all of us." Arashi growled from his own doorway. His twin brother yawned and rested his head on his shoulder, before he promptly began snoring.

"Sorry, sorry! We're going to go meditate and clear my weird chakra flowers or something so I don't go feral one day and kill everyone, that's all!"

"WHAT?" Yoko and Karin both yelped.

"We're going to lead Naruto through some spiritual training we all received to make him a better host for his bijuu." Harry explained. "I'm sorry if we disturbed your rest."

"You're doing special training? Will it make you stronger?" Arashi demanded.

"Well, yes, I suppose it will. It requires a lot of stillness and complete self-honesty to successfully complete."

"Can I do it too? We want to dominate the next chunin exams!" Arashi said fiercely, only to grimace when his brother snorted loudly in his ear, sound asleep. "ASAHI!" he growled.

"You can if you want to, just be aware that it's not something simple like a new jutsu, and it will take however long it takes to complete."

The four of them started down the stairs. The remaining Uzumakis traded a look and followed as well, curious as to what sort of training people in other worlds did.

The grounds around the Uzumaki compound were dark, quiet and lightly laden with dew. The sun was just touching the horizon and beginning to spread its golden rays across the land. The air smelled fresh. Across the way, the house, draped in tarps and scaffolding, formed a dark shadow against the slowly brightening forest.

"Alright, everyone gather in a circle, and copy us." Harry ordered.

He, Neville and Luna all fell into a lotus position, hands lying open upon their laps, but for their thumb and index finger which formed a circle.

"You've all meditated before?" Neville asked.

"Yeah. They cover it in the academy." Yoko nodded.

"Alright. Everyone find the quiet still center of your mind. When you are all ready, we'll begin." Luna nodded.

Harry closed his eyes and fell into his own trance easily. He could feel all of them as he opened his root chakra. Asahi's energy was quiet and slow--though whether he was in a meditative trance or asleep again, he wasn't sure. Arashi's boiled and flexed like the storm he was named for. Yoko's fluttered, quicksilver bright, like a hummingbird or a small breeze. Karin's warm brightness was quieter and steadier than the others, but with quick flares and flashes, there and gone again just as quickly. Naruto's energy dominated his end of the circle, immense and warm, like having a small, friendly sun sitting among them, though beneath that was a ball of ice cold darkness--his poisoned bijuu.

He really hoped Naruto put the effort in--not just for his own sake, but the fox's as well. Having felt Gyuki's energy, it was even more apparent how wrong the nine-tailed fox's was. Matatabi's was halfway between Gyuki's warmth and Kurama's darkness and cold. He hoped Yuugito was putting in the effort as well, for her bijuu's sake. Now that they were all aware of the problem, none of them would rest easily until the bijuu had been purified and their hosts made proof against further corruption. One by one everyone's chakra smoothed out into the resting stillness that indicated a deep meditative state.

"The first chakra gate is the earth gate. It runs on survival and is blocked by fear. Look within for those things that you're afraid of. Face them, acknowledge them, and let them go…" Harry said quietly.

"Don't force it." Luna warned, equally quiet, as she felt Naruto and Arashi's chakra begin to spike. "Relax and let it come to you. This isn't a battle. These things are a part of you. Let them come to you and let them go. They have no power over you unless you let them."

"Some fears persist, even once we've outgrown them. Face them head on, see the truth of them and they will vanish like fog burned off by the morning sun." Neville added.

 

"Morning, sensei, Sasuke-kun." Sakura yawned, before sipping at the steaming hot tea she'd purchased on her way to meet her team.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted, still half-asleep.

"Goodness, you're both so bright-eyed and chipper, I can hardly keep up." Kakashi noted dryly, as he kept pace with them, face buried in a smutty book as usual.

"I'm kind of surprised to actually see you here at the time you told us to meet you. Is the world ending?" Sakura wondered.

"Not last I checked. What can I say, it's a beautiful morning." Kakashi chirped.

"You're worried Naruto is next and want us moving before Akatsuki strikes again. You're also worried they're developing a grudge against Konoha on top of targeting Naruto since we foiled their latest attempt, and that guy grabbed their freaky plant man." Sasuke disagreed.

"Ah. It looks like we won't have to drag Naruto out of bed after all." Kakashi noted, rather than comment on Sasuke's assessment.

The three of them came to a halt on the edge of the Uzumaki's land and just watched the group gathered on the lawn. Sasuke turned on his Sharingan, and Kakashi raised his headband, uncovering his. Sasuke held in a gasp as a mass of chakra bloomed in the very base of Naruto's spine like a small star and surged upward slightly before coming to a halt.

"Very good, Naruto. Why don't you take a short break and greet your team?" Harry said.

Naruto opened his eyes and stood in one fluid movement, shook himself out and loped towards them with a smile. He seemed steadier, more grounded than normal. Was this a result of whatever strange training the visitors were doing?

"Hey guys! What are you all doing here?" Naruto asked.

"We have a mission of sorts, though it seems you got a bit of an early start." Kakashi replied.

"What was that in your spine?" Sasuke asked.

"My earth chakra flower thingy. It was really weird. I could feel it open up and release a bunch of energy. Geez, it took forever too! We've been out here since dawn!" Naruto moaned.

"So hey, what's the mission?"

"We're to accompany your friends there sightseeing, and allow them to begin your training, but as I said, you seem to have started without us." Kakashi explained. "We're just waiting for one more."

"Yo."

"WAAA!" Naruto screeched at the voice that spoke right into his ear.

"Tenzo." Kakashi nodded.

"Kakashi." Tenzo replied flatly.

"What happened to sempai?" Kakashi pouted.

Tenzo just looked back at him expressionless. Kakashi's shoulders slumped the tiniest bit, only noticeable to those who knew him well, and he was soon hidden behind his book again.

"Big brother." a quiet, husky voice said quietly from the tree above them.

Team seven twitched as none of them had noticed her arrive. She was very pale and had purple markings around her dark eyes. She had white hair, and a small beauty mark just to the left of her mouth on her chin.

"Megumi-chan?" Tenzo said questioningly.

"Big sister sent me. You didn't take the food she made you." her lips quirked the tiniest bit as though she was laughing at him.

"Ah. How…kind of her." Tenzo winced.

"I tried some of the curry. It wasn't toxic." she assured him innocently.

"First time for everything I guess." Tenzo muttered quietly.

"Megumi-chan was it? Lovely name." Kakashi said absently, eyes still riveted to his book.

The rest of team seven could only watch, mystified, as the mystery girl gave him a blank, flat look in return.

"Thank you…Hatake-san." she replied frostily, before pointedly turning her back to him to address Tenzo. "Have a safe trip. Return to us swiftly."

"I'll see you when I return." Tenzo nodded, giving the girl a small smile and ruffling her hair.

The girl vanished back into the trees, leaving as swiftly and silently as she had arrived.

"So…sensei?" Naruto asked leadingly.

"Who was that girl and why does she hate you so much?" Sasuke asked bluntly.

Sakura pasted a smile on her face and pinched Sasuke in the side, hard, cheerfully ignoring the glare she got in return.

"Ah well…"

"She's his sister." Tenzo said firmly. "Or she was." he added rather pointedly.

"We should gather everyone and go over the mission!" Sakura chirped, grabbing Sasuke and Naruto by the elbows and dragging them away before they could start demanding answers.

"Sakura."

"Sakura-chaaan!"

"Learn to read the mood, idiots!" Sakura snarled back as she kept dragging them.

 

The meditation circle seemed to have broken up while they were all talking. Naruto pulled free of Sakura and led them towards the small log cabin perched off to the side, as the Uzumaki's house was still being refurbished, by the look of the place.

"How much longer are they going to be at it?" Sasuke wondered, indicating the house.

"Not much longer. All the fixtures have been put in the kitchen, bathroom and laundry room, the roof's done being patched. I think they're doing the cosmetic stuff right now. Definitely by the end of the week, and then we just have to worry about decorating and stuff and then moving in. We've all been staying in their cabin while the work was being done." Naruto explained."It's mostly taking so long because we expanded the bathroom and kitchen, and made the whole thing a bit more open. The temple and the workroom are already done. If we take Harry and them with us, I guess everyone can sleep in one of them until the house is finished."

Naruto stepped in to the cabin, his team right behind him. The kitchen was packed, with the foreign visitors as well as Naruto's sister and cousins. The kitchen table had been expanded and more chairs brought out so there was room for everyone, though that meant the crowd was edging into the hallway.

"Ah, welcome. Are you all hungry?" Harry asked. There were scrambled eggs, sausage and bacon, fried tomatoes, mushrooms and potatoes, baked beans, pancakes with a choice of syrups and fresh fruit, as well as the more usual rice and miso soup, tea, fruit juice, piles of toast, butter, marmalade… "

WOOHOO!" Naruto crowed, diving right in to fill his plate.

Sasuke and Sakura lingered behind, as both were actually a little afraid to dive into the feeding frenzy that was the Uzumaki clan at breakfast. Neville took pity on them and filled plates for them both with a bit of everything while Luna gently shooed them towards some empty seats at the end of the table. Naruto must have mentioned that Kakashi-sensei and Tenzo were still to appear, as two more plates were filled and left waiting while two more seats were drug out for the late arrivals. Kakashi and Tenzo appeared about twenty minutes later. Tenzo seemed surprised at the number of people in the seemingly tiny cabin, but he graciously thanked their hosts for the meal and devoured his plate in short order. Kakashi's plate was soon clean as well, though no one saw him eat, or remove his mask.

There was another flurry of activity as Karin, Arashi, Asahi, and Yoko ran off to get ready for the day and then headed out for missions or training. The foreigners gathered the dirty breakfast dishes and piled them in the sink, where they began washing themselves, and then the table was shrunk down to its usual size. Kakashi tried copying the shrinking and the dishes washing themselves with his Sharingan eye, but they didn't do any handsigns, and the wisps of chakra around the table and the washing brushes wasn't enough for him to make any real sense of. It was terribly frustrating, to say the least. Once the cabin was cleared of everyone but team 7, Tenzo and the foreigners, Kakashi called everyone together to discuss things.

"We're all going sightseeing. The Hokage wants us moving so Akatsuki is less likely to attack the village while he's off at the kage summit in an attempt to snatch Naruto, plus being constantly on the move will make it more difficult for them to snatch him while we're away from the village. He would also like for Naruto to complete the training you mentioned. For the second part, Tenzo is along to help things along. He has Mokuton, the First Hokage's wood release, and so is able to subdue bijuu power. We don't have a warded temple, unfortunately."

"I'd like to see the Valley of the End, and the ruins of Whirlpool." Tom spoke up.

"Sounds good. I would too." Neville nodded.

"Why there?"

"The Cloud ninjas we were travelling with mentioned the valley of the end. There's some giant statues there or something, sounded interesting. Whirlpool should have ruins to explore. Why not?" Harry shrugged.

"Fair enough. In fact, they might both be rather ideal locations. Both are isolated enough to make for good training grounds." Kakashi nodded. "Very well. As soon as you are all ready we can check out."

Since there were so many of them, Harry dug out his tent to attach to the back of the carpet for the trip, and did a quick cleaning of the place, and brought some food and toilet paper from the cabin to stock it for the trip. They also gathered playing cards, a few books, some paper and board games to give everyone something to do if they got bored while they were travelling.

Once ready they set off walking towards the gate. Sign out took little time, just Kakashi handing over their mission scroll to be checked over and a note made of everyone in their party who was leaving. Once clear of the gate, the carpet and tent were set up. Tom opted to drive for the first leg of the journey, and Kakashi decided to play navigator. They settled on the carpet outside the tent while the rest of them settled inside.

"Huh. It's a lot smaller than the other place."

"That's because this one is mine and the other is Tom's. I got the bare minimum to travel lightly but in comfort, and it served me well, though there were times I had wished I'd opted for a slightly fancier model. This tent traveled with me all through the war. My team and I lived in it for six months while we traveled, then Tom joined us, then Zuko, and then we had to go rescue Zuko's uncle and little sister and his fiancee and their friend from prison, so they ended up staying in it too, though only for a short time. It got a little crowded." Harry laughed.

"You were in a war?" Tenzo asked curiously.

"Yeah. The first time I traveled between worlds. I was about fourteen. It was summer in my world when I left. I ended up at the south pole in the new world, which was a bit of a shock. It was a little village with houses made from the snow perched on an iceberg. Not the most hospitable place, though it was certainly beautiful." Harry agreed.

He moved to the bookcase that stood against one wall and pulled a photo album down. Everyone gathered around curiously to take a look.

"That's Sokka and Katara of the Southern Water Tribe. Their father is the chief. He and the warriors had left a few years prior to help Earth Kingdom against the Fire Nation…"

The photos showed a pair of dark-skinned teens dressed in furs, backlit by a stark, snowy landscape. The next showed Aang and Aapa, his flying bison; then Aang and Katara practicing waterbending; Sokka training with his sword; Toph earthbending--alone and with Aang; the Foggy Swamp and the village they'd briefly hung out in; scenes of the group while camping; the Kyoshi Warriors and their village; the Water Tribe's ships and camp; the air temples; Harry and Sokka posed before a blown-up weapons depot; the Freedom Fighters and their treehouse village; the singing gophers; a few scenes of the Northern Water Tribe and their ice city, Princess Yui and Master Pakku; Ba Singh Se, the Earth King's palace; Zuko and Aang firebending, Sokka, Harry and Master Piandao, all in their matching outfits; the Fire Lord's palace; a group shot of Zuko, Mai, Iroh, Azula, Ursa and Ty Lee; Zuko's coronation; Guru Pathik, Tom, and Harry meditating; a view from the sky of the peninsula that would later become their new home; and finally a large group shot of Harry, Tom, Aang, Katara, Sokka, Toph and Zuko together.

"That last photograph would never have happened while the war was still going on, with people of all the nations gathered together like that. Obviously there were far more people involved in the war, but this group here were what really put an end to it and brought peace after a hundred years."

Sakura glanced up at the banners on the wall, noting that they corresponded to the color schemes worn by the people in the picture.

"Water tribe" Harry pointed to the blue and white banner, "Air Nomads, Confederacy of Magic, Earth Kingdom, Fire Nation." he pointed to the rest one at a time.

"It used to just be the four of them but we moved there a year after the war was over. Our old homeworld was becoming inhospitable." Luna explained.

"You four left your old homeworld?" Sasuke questioned.

"Not just us, our whole population and all our stuff." Neville laughed.

"You must have had to open quite a gateway for such an exodus, unless you've a very small population." Tenzo commented.

"A few million people, plus animals, buildings, plants. We built up the power for it over a year's time and then we all just went at once. We were all unconscious when we were done, and everyone was walking around like elderly people for a few days afterwards." Neville replied.

"How did you do it? Seals?" Sakura wondered.

"Dancing." Neville replied with a grin.

"Dancing?!" the ninjas all sputtered.

"Special dancing." Harry clarified. "I suppose it was sort of like seals when you think about it. The lines of ink set boundaries and rules for power to follow to achieve certain effects. Or handsigns, just with our feet. Yeah, that might be a closer analogy. Our dance served the same purpose--it gave the power we raised direction and purpose and connected us all together so we all went across at once. We were united in purpose and intention, so it worked." he shrugged.

"Even so, that's quite a feat. It's hard enough to get a group of a hundred to move with single purpose, let alone millions." Tenzo said faintly.

"It was both simpler and more complicated than that. Tom and Harry set the intention in the first dance and that's what carried over. Everyone else got drawn into the ritual that had already been started. Harry acted as the anchor point for the whole ritual, while Tom acted as the net that gathered everyone up. So long as they kept focus and intention, everyone else simply followed the path they laid out. When they reunited for the final part at the end of the year, they essentially opened the pathway and drug everyone along with them." Luna explained.

"Still…that's quite a feat." Sakura murmured.

"EEK!" Naruto suddenly squeaked, pointing a flailing arm at the snake coming in through the door, that was growing larger as it moved across the floor.

"It's alright. It's just Nagini. She must be hungry; Tom probably wouldn't have unshrunk her otherwise." Harry said calmly.

The snake hissed at Hedwig, who was on her perch in the corner.

"Play nice, ladies." Harry chuckled, before hissing at Nagini, who began moving towards the back where the lone bedroom was.

He removed a scroll from one of the cabinets and headed after the large snake. When Harry came back, he found all the ninjas looking a bit green and listening to the sound of Nagini wrestling a squealing pig into submission in the distance.

"What? She's fourteen feet long. A mouse isn't going to cut it." Harry shrugged.

He glanced at Hedwig who 'precked' at him before settling back down for a nap. "Hedwig seems to have gone hunting earlier; Nagini really couldn't since she was shrunk down like that."

"So… It's going to take a while to get to the Valley of the End. What do we do in the meantime?" Sakura wondered. "Usually when we're travelling, we're too busy hopping through trees and keeping an eye out for bandits and enemy ninjas to get bored. This is kind of a new experience."

"We could train." Sasuke suggested. "The spiritual training you're doing with Naruto. I want in on it."

"That's fine. You're more than welcome to join us, though we'll have to start you at the beginning since Naruto has already opened his Earth chakra gate." Luna nodded. "In fact, if you like, Neville and I can work with the rest of you while Harry gets Naruto started on the next."

"Sounds good. Let's get started!" Naruto agreed eagerly.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed as the spirit of rivalry took hold. He couldn't let Naruto get too far ahead. Sakura looked between the two boys and her face firmed in determination. She wasn't going to be left behind. Tenzo glanced between the rest of them and shrugged. He was fine either way, really, but more training never hurt, he supposed.

"We really should get Kakashi-sensei in here. He probably needs it more than the rest of us." Naruto mused as he got into position.

The rest just nodded. Tenzo looked at all of them and nodded as well, before heading outside to take Kakashi's place as navigator. They were right, really. Kakashi needed it more than the rest of them, barring Naruto the jinchuuriki. He could always do it later if it seemed worthwhile. Everyone just looked at Kakashi when he flew through the doorway as though he'd been tossed, twisted and flipped to land on his feet, looking unruffled, book out.

"Stop playing around, sensei! We're training. Get into position." Sakura ordered.

Kakashi sighed as he put away his book. They used to be such cute kids. What happened?

 

 

"Why did we have to sneak in inside of a toad? No offense." Ten Ten muttered as an aside to the toad whose mouth they were crawling out of.

"Hanzo was always a paranoid bastard. Security on Rain has always been a nightmare." Tsunade replied, glancing up when the omnipresent rain suddenly vanished and the sky overhead began to clear, letting the sun out.

"Um…" 

"Neji?" Gai questioned.

"In the tower ahead of us. I found the man with the Rinnegan eyes. He's making his way to the base of the tower. There seem to be a bunch of corpses laid out. He has piercings all over his body. They seem to be the same material as the chakra conducive rod that Cloud sent us." he explained as he began scanning the rest of the tower.

"Incoming." Anko warned. Hundreds of white butterflies converged overhead and began to form a figure.

"It's the chick with the flower in her hair." Tsunade noted.

"Konan!" Jiraiya called out sternly.

"Did she just turn half her body into wings so what's left of her can fly?" Ten Ten said weakly.

"It's a clone. She's still in the tower, along with another Rinnegan user. He has more of those chakra conducive rods, long ones, jammed into his back. The bottom half of his body has been turned into a mechanical wheelchair." Neji interjected. "The Akatsuki Rinnegan user is a corpse. He just laid down with the rest and then another sat up. They're puppets. That's why the two tails said that guy didn't have a real Rinnegan. He's a puppet being controlled by the guy at the top of the tower." He hissed to the rest quickly to keep the approaching woman from overhearing what they knew.

Jiraiya summoned a new toad who shot a long stream of oil at Konan, soaking her through. Her eyes narrowed at him in displeasure, but she seemed otherwise quite unruffled by their presence.

"Konan, what the hell are you and Nagato thinking? You're trying to resurrect a monster it took the actual Sage of the Six Paths AND his brother to subdue the first time around! What happened to your dreams of world peace? Destroying the world isn't the way to go about it!" Jiraiya lectured.

Tsunade marched up next to him and pointed at Konan angrily.

"I don't care about your dreams, or you, you little brat! I want to know where the hell you get off desecrating my grandfather and creating those freaky plant men from him!"

Konan's eyes narrowed. "Plant _men"_ she stressed the plural questioningly "made from the first Hokage of Konoha?"

"Yes! Bad enough those things were made in the first place, but you idiot brats let some unclean spirit possess one of them to control the rest. My grandfather was a good man. It disgusts me to see his remains being abused in such a manner!"

Konan's head turned just as a tall man with long orange hair and facial piercings appeared at her side, then summoned a large crab that sprayed her down with water to wash off the oil she was covered in. Konan nodded her thanks and then drifted closer to whisper to him, while he stared down at all of them with no expression. When she was done talking he turned to look at her and they seemed to have a silent conversation. He turned back to all of them.

"I think we should trade information." he said, then suddenly collapsed.

Konan twitched and looked at the fallen man in shock. Overhead the sky filled with clouds once more and rain began pouring down on all of them in sheets.

"Is the man in the chair coming down to speak to us?" Neji asked.

Konan turned to him, agitated. "What are you talking about?"

"Some sort of space time jutsu was just enacted in the tower and he disappeared."

Konan's face went taut with shock and dread, and she popped.

As Neji watched, her actual body in the tower stirred as though coming awake, and looked around wildly, before running through the tower, screaming 'NAGATO!'.

"She's coming back." Neji warned.

Actual Konan landed in front of them, wild-eyed. "You have to help me rescue Nagato." she ordered Jiraiya.

"The guy's got a Rinnegan! Who could take him?" Anko scoffed.

"A man named Madara Uchiha…or so he claims." Konan informed them, looking around nervously. "We need a secure place to speak."

"Everyone back in the toad." Jiraiya gestured.

"This has been a very strange mission." Lee opined as they began climbing back inside the toad.

 

 

"We're here." Tom called back into the tent. Around the room, everyone stirred and slowly climbed to their feet, stretching out the stiffness that came from sitting in one position for too long.

"All that time and nothing." Sasuke grumbled.

"It will take as long as it takes. Depending on what your particular issues are some of the gates will take longer than others. A friend of mine tried for weeks to clear the first and made no progress at all until he cleared the fifth first." Harry said with some commiseration.

"What's the fifth and why'd he have to do that one first?" Naruto wondered.

"The throat chakra. It's blocked by the lies you tell yourself so you can sleep at night. I don't know for sure, but I have a feeling his sister probably had to do the same. I know another guy who was stuck on the first for months because he didn't want to deal with the issues that were raised. He kept going back and working on it. Once that one was cleared the others went by much more swiftly." Harry explained.

"The problem might be something else as well. I had a lot of trouble with straight meditation when I first started. I couldn't get into the proper mindset at all. I work with plants a lot, and I spend most of my free time in my greenhouse when I'm not in school. When Guru Pathik released me from yet another unsuccessful attempt to meditate like he did and I went for a walk through the gardens, I continued thinking about fear and survival while wandering around and cleared the first gate while doing so. Once he realized I could easily get into the proper mindset while in the garden and tending to the plants there, he just started sending me out there every day to think about something new each time. It took me a while to get used to regular meditation. If any of you are having difficulties, finding something relaxing that puts you in the proper mindset might work better for you than sitting still for long periods of time." Neville offered.

"Most of all you must keep in mind that this isn't a race or a contest. There's no prize but self-improvement. Whether it takes a day or a year or even several years makes no difference. It will take as long as it takes for you to admit to and face your demons and let them go." Luna added softly. "Sometimes our pain and our illusions are so familiar that they're comforting even when they're hurting us, or conversely, prodding at them hurts so much that we become afraid to probe them deeper. The thing is, much as when draining out a wound, yes, the pain will be sharper and more present while you are doing so, but once done, the wound can heal. Humans are contrary creatures. We don't always do what's best for ourselves."

"We've been working for a while. What say I grab some food and we can have a picnic and enjoy the valley while we still have light to see by?" Harry interjected.

Naruto's stomach growled and he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Sounds good."

Kakashi and Sasuke headed outside while the rest of them gathered enough sandwiches for everyone, as well as a pitcher of juice and several cups. It was mid-afternoon. After the dimness of the tent it was blindingly bright outside.

They were in a wide valley with a tall waterfall at one end that provided a roar that overlaid the otherwise peaceful scenery. The waterfall fell down to a wide lake the size of the valley before tapering off into a stream that ran the length of it, and according to the Cloud nins, ran all the way to the sea, miles distant. To either side of the waterfall were two enormous statues facing one another, dressed in old-fashioned clothing and armor, each with one hand held up in front of them, making the seal of confrontation.  Harry froze for a moment upon exiting the tent, entranced by the sight, before shaking it off and heading to join the others.

 

"That is some truly epic hair that one guy is sporting." Neville snorted.

"He was an ancestor of mine." Sasuke admitted. "They didn't get his hair quite right. He was said to be the only one who could stand up to the First Hokage, who earned the title "God of Shinobi".

"Theirs is a rather sad story, really. The Uchiha and the Senju had been enemies for generations, but the two of them made peace and decided to build a ninja village together. A few years after the founding of the village, Hashirama Senju became the first Hokage. A few months after that, Madara Uchiha left and became the very first missing nin. He left behind his clan, the village, everything. He later attacked with the nine-tailed fox. It was said the two of them battled all the way from Konoha to here, the site of their final confrontation. It took three days before the First was finally able to subdue Madara. The First erected this monument as a tribute to his greatest enemy and what was the fiercest of their battles, which were all said to be legendary." Kakashi mused.

"Why did he leave? Did they break up or something?" Tom wondered.

The ninjas all blinked in shock and turned to look at him.

"What? They had the whole Romeo and Juliet vibe going. Generational enemies, and they decide to call off the war and build a village together, come on! Then one of them ups and leaves after a few years, and there's such bad blood that they supposedly battle for three days, then when it's all over the one left behind builds massive statues to stare into each other's eyes for eternity." he waved his hand vaguely at the looming statues.

"You have to admit he has a point. Those are some strong feelings there." Harry nodded.

"The First was married!" Sakura sputtered "to a _woman._ "

"What does that have to do with anything? In a society without the knowledge and technology to simply create babies at will, or in a culture that isn't accepting of same-sex relationships because bloodlines are paramount, arranged marriages for the sake of creating children, even if one or both of the spouses wasn't particularly interested, are the norm. Goodness knows once upon a time our society was the same. In the end it was decided that forcing people together like that wasn't actually conducive to a happy and fulfilling family life, and so that changed. It's still that way elsewhere in the world we now live in." Luna shrugged.

"Yeah, poor Azula didn't even know it was possible, but then she was crown princess of Fire Nation for a number of years while her brother was in exile, so there was never any real question that she was going to marry a man of suitable station and bloodline at some point and pop out an heir and a spare to inherit the crown. Her brother is now Fire Lord and is married and already has a child, so succession isn't an issue for her anymore, so truthfully she could have avoided the whole thing if she really wanted to, but the need for heirs was so ingrained by that point that she's still planning to have some in a few years even though she's in a relationship with another woman. She jumped all over the idea once she knew she could." Harry laughed.

"And her family is allowing this?" Sakura questioned.

"They've been quite supportive and accepting. Well, her uncle was pretty scandalized at first, but he's an old guy, and she announced it at the dinner table one night. He wasn't quite prepared. He seems fine with it now, though it's still odd to him." Harry shrugged.

"Shame the same can't be said for Toph." Tom muttered.

"Well, she's Earth Kingdom. They aren't as flexible. They might come around when there's grandchildren involved, you never know." Harry offered, though he didn't sound particularly convinced. "They probably would have accepted it better had she brought Zuko home, even if he did kidnap her that one time." he admitted. "Though honestly they still wouldn't have been happy. She keeps being scandalous and competent and free spirited in spite of their best efforts to turn her into someone else. I really want to smack them sometimes. They should be pleased as punch to have a daughter like Toph. She's amazing." he grumbled with real offense.

"They should." Neville agreed staunchly.

"Definitely." Luna nodded.

"So why did he leave then if it wasn't the worst break-up in history?" Tom asked, getting back to the original subject.

"I don't really know for sure, but it's commonly believed it was because he didn't become Hokage." Sasuke shrugged.

"I suppose it's possible, though you'd think after a few years of the village being in operation, and a few months with the other guy in the position that it wouldn't have been such an issue. I don't know, it seems like a trite answer." Harry mused.

"You have your 'there's a conspiracy afoot' face on." Neville snickered.

"I get feelings about things sometimes. That's just how I roll." Harry joked.

"I think you're probably right. Sometimes certain people just become fulcrums for history. Choices they make, and the aftereffects, leave such ripples that the whole world changes in the wake of them. Such people usually gather others who instinctively know that they're such a person, and they do their best to nudge their choices to reflect the outcomes they want. Depending on the people, their influence with the fulcrum, and what they're after… Though sometimes it's not even them that makes the difference, sometimes it's just some random event or person that tips the balance and sends things careening off in an unexpected direction. I find I'm rather curious to know what the tipping point was, and why it made this history-making legend leave everything behind, only to turn around and try to destroy all he'd helped build. It's curious, don't you think?" Tom agreed.

"It's true. Tom and I have seen firsthand how vastly different the world can be from a series of small changes and decisions." Harry nodded. "When we were returning from our trip to the world we eventually moved to, we ended up in an alternate of our own world and I met a version of myself that didn't get an intervention from the Great Toad Sage. It was mind-boggling how different things were. We were also in another world where we were fictional characters in a book series. We read the books. They followed the events of the alternate world we went to, and beyond, and it sucked balls, I mean, I can't even stress how horrible it was! I owe the Great Toad Sage a tremendous debt. Our whole society does, really." Harry shuddered. "We intervened, of course, and helped stave off the worst of what was to come hopefully, but…"

"Yeah. Not my favorite of the places we've gone." Tom agreed ruefully.

"What happened to your alternate?" Naruto asked hesitantly.

"He died rather horribly… though ironically enough it saved him from a fate worse than death. I was able to speak to his spirit afterwards. He thanked me." Tom admitted. "I did some…rather foolish things when I was younger."

His face softened when Harry leaned in to his side. "

On the plus side, that experience probably helped a great deal with clearing my chakra gates. Getting smacked in the face with your bad choices works wonders for getting over yourself." he added wryly.

"What if all your bad choices are in this world, not some alternate dimension?" Kakashi asked curiously.

 _"Gods, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."_ Luna replied softly. "If you have done wrong, try to right it. If others have done wrong against you, forgive if you can." she shrugged. "That's really all you can do. It's all any of us can do."

"You have to forgive yourself first, and sometimes that's the hardest thing to do." Tom added.

"Okay, enough heavy talk. You're spoiling my appetite." Neville complained. "We have good food, good company, and it's a beautiful day."

"That it is." Sakura agreed. She looked around at the idyllic valley thoughtfully. "Even the site of a great tragedy can be beautiful once enough time passes."

"Yeah." Naruto agreed. "You know what though? I'm never going to be able to look up at the face of the First on the Hokage mountain ever again without wondering about him and that Madara guy. Thanks a lot."

"I hope they made up in the afterlife, whether they were just eternal rivals or, _you know._ It seems too sad for it to be otherwise." Sakura mused.

"I kind of hope so too." Luna agreed.

 

After everyone was done eating and had time to digest their food, Naruto drug Harry off to the lake for the fight they'd never gotten to have. It started off normally enough--a lot of punching and kicking--Harry versus ten Narutos, interspersed with wind, fire and water attacks. It soon devolved to the two of them skiing around on the surface of the lake at high speed, trying to dunk each other and ended with them wrestling and pulling each other's hair like a couple of little kids and laughing like idiots.

After they were done and dried off, they settled down with the whole group for another round of meditation. Their earlier talk seemed to have gotten some of them thinking, as Sasuke's chakra had lost the bitter edge it had acquired earlier as the hours passed and he seemed no closer to succeeding. Sakura's steady warmth had stayed fairly smooth throughout, and he expected her to succeed soon. Tenzo's energy blended into the background of the natural world around them to some degree so it was difficult to keep tabs on how he was doing, but he seemed fine for the moment. Kakashi's energy, which earlier had gone from relatively smooth to a jarring jangle of snarled emotion seemed calmer and smoother this time around. Harry had been keeping himself to just the first chakra opened since so far no one had managed even that except for Naruto, but he was getting bored, so he let the rest open one by one, and stifled a smile when he felt Tom, Luna and Neville do the same. It made more of the world seem to open to their senses, let them be distantly aware of the sheer life, both great and small, all around them.

With this higher awareness, he could almost feel Kakashi grimly digging through his issues; his energy felt like tangled Christmas lights snarled in a ball that was slowly, carefully being unraveled. He seemed to actually be trying in a way he wasn't before. They'd all been left with the impression he was humoring them more than anything. A stir in Sasuke's energy seemed to indicate progress of some sort. It remained to be seen how far he would get today. A small hitch in Sakura's breathing along with a sudden wash of steady, grounded energy told all of them that Sakura had succeeded.

"Well done, Sakura. Would you like to take a short break or continue?"

"I'd like to continue."

"Alright." Harry agreed, showing her the new hand sign: palms open, one atop the other, held low on the stomach. "The second gate is the water gate. It runs on pleasure and is blocked by guilt. It's located in your sacrum" Harry said with some amusement when Sakura flushed in embarrassment. "Think on those things you feel guilty about, confront them and let them go." Harry instructed.

"If you feel guilty, there's probably a reason for it, right? Is it really okay to just cast it aside?" Sakura wondered.

"One would hope you would confront your guilt, let it go so it no longer weighs you down, and later confront and try to make right the things you might feel guilt over. Self-discovery is a work in progress. One step at a time." Luna spoke up.

"Right. Guilt. Okay." Sakura nodded, closing her eyes again.

 

"You know, it's starting to get dark. Maybe we should head inside and grab some dinner." Harry began about two hours later.

The opening of Sasuke's earth chakra diverted his attention.

"Well done, Sasuke." Sasuke grinned a tiny bit in triumph and relief--he hated that he was the last to succeed--when the opening of Naruto's second chakra gate drew everyone's attention.

"Wow, Naruto. Two in two days. Pretty good. If you keep it up, at this rate you'll be ready to wrestle Kurama in a week!" Harry said cheerfully.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted unhappily.

"Hey, hey! Be happy for me, you bastard!"

"Thin hammer!"

Sakura diverted the impending argument by virtue of smacking each of them on the back of the head as she passed.

"Sakura."

"Sakura-chaan!"

"Quiet! Let's go get cleaned up for dinner!" Sakura ordered as she strode away, not looking back.

The boys grumbled and shoved at one another, but they followed meekly in her wake.

 

Naruto's eyes sparkled when a big bowl of ramen was set in front of him a short time later. "Ramen!"

"Appreciate me. I learned to make that just for you." Harry informed him.

"You're the best, Harry-nii!'

"Yosh." Harry replied, deadpan "I can feel the youthfulness rising." while a crashing wave rose up behind his back.

"GAAAAH!" Naruto shouted, pointing a flailing arm Harry's way.

Kakashi froze in the midst of breaking apart his chopsticks, while Sasuke and Sakura stared at him in bemused horror and Tom, Neville and Luna started cackling. Tenzo just sighed and shook his head at their antics.

"What can I say? Lee inspired me." Harry told them with a grin.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who have left comments/kudos thus far. I haven't answered any of them, but I do read and appreciate every one.


	5. An interrogation, new friends, and a rescue mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiraiya and company question Konan and learn about the origin of the Akatsuki, Naruto and Harry make some new friends and have breakfast, and a surprising discovery is made

"You wanted to trade information. So talk." Tsunade said brusquely once they were all settled back inside Jiraiya's toad and on the way back to Konoha.

She kept herself focused with only a little difficulty. She recognized all too well the look in Konan's eyes. She looked much the way Tsunade herself had felt years prior when she decided to abandon the village after losing her little brother and her lover. She had lost others before that, but Dan had been one loss too many on top of the rest; the snowflake that had triggered the avalanche. Konan had torn off her Akatsuki cloak once in the toad and tossed in in the corner, leaving her just in the typically revealing kunoichi-wear she'd worn beneath it. She sat now, staring into the middle distance, her face blank but her eyes blazing with new/old grief and worry that was all too familiar.

"I'd heard years ago that you all died." Jiraiya tried his own hand at getting her talking.

"What did you care? You left us all behind years prior. You didn't even come back to see me when I turned eighteen. Pity that." Konan said flatly, before turning a frosty gaze on Jiraiya, who was doing his best not to cringe at the waves of hostility he could suddenly feel from Ten-Ten, Anko and Tsunade at her words. "I had a _lovely_ present waiting if you did." she added with a vicious little smirk that promised pain.

"I cared. Of course I cared. You three were my students for three years. I was still a ninja of Konoha. I couldn't give you more than that. Hell, had I not been the Hokage's student, and the war just ended, I wouldn't have gotten away with that much." Jiraiya protested. "I stuck around long enough to make sure you could look after yourselves."

"You seemed to know something about whatever space-time jutsu vanished your friend in the tower. Madara Uchiha I think you said." Anko tried her own hand at getting things moving.

"Yes. _Him_." Konan agreed, her mouth twisting in bitterness.

"Yahiko, Nagato and I started Akatsuki nearly twenty-five years ago. Our plans back then were very different. We were trying to bring peace through diplomacy and trade, to put an end to the endless wars that destroyed smaller countries like ours. We thought we were making headway when Hanzo contacted us and said he wanted us to help negotiate the peace treaty at the end of the third great ninja war. Everything seemed to be going well. We were making progress with our mission, and then Yahiko and I were…" she trailed off, grief and nostalgia marring her face.

She pushed away her grief for her lost love to continue.

"Right before we were due to meet with Hanzo, a few days prior, a man in a mask approached us and told Nagato he'd been waiting for him, that he was meant to train the holder of the Rinnegan to use its power. He told him he had a _destiny_ , laid down by the Sage of the Six Paths to bring world peace. Yahiko distrusted him on sight and told him to leave. He told Nagato not to trust him. Nagato trusted Yahiko's judgement, so he turned him down and left. The day we were to meet with Hanzo, I was kidnapped by Leaf nins and a man named Danzo."

"Not Leaf nins." Jiraiya said heavily. "Danzo was running his own schemes and had his own private army, sealed to silence and obedience and loyal only to him. He's been dead a good many years now, and we're still dealing with the fallout."

Konan's unimpressed look said she didn't quite believe them, but she was content not to make an issue of it.

"When Nagato and Yahiko showed up for the negotiations, Hanzo had me drug out to show them and threw a kunai down to them. He said their choice was for one of them to kill the other, or he was going to kill me. Nagato had picked up the kunai. Yahiko, out of nowhere, told him he needed to stop hiding in his shadow, that it was his _destiny_ to bring world peace, just like that guy had said, and he asked him to take care of me. He threw himself on the kunai and died almost immediately. Nagato just stood there. We both did. We might have both been screaming. I'm not really sure. I can see the moment he died so clearly. See his blood dripping from the knife in Nagato's hand, the splatters on his face…but everything else is fuzzy."

She let out a shaky breath, her gaze abstracted as she thought of that day long ago, and how it had been the start of everything going wrong.

"Nagato leapt up to grab mefrom those that were holding me, but there was a fire trap that went off where he landed that burned his legs badly. He stabbed the guy holding me and we both leapt back down off the cliff. We were outnumbered. We didn't have weapons beyond the kunai in Nagato's hand, so he summoned IT."

"It?" Anko interjected.

Konan shivered.  "The Gedo Mazo.  It's a very... _very_ large wooden statue.  It's meant to contain bijuu.  I've never liked the thing.  I sometimes swear it's almost alive...When I realized what he was doing I panicked and told him not to. He did anyway. It was _screaming_ when it arrive." she shivered again.   "A bunch of rods shot out of its belly and stabbed Nagato in the back and started draining him, then it opened its mouth and everyone around us… _It ate their souls_. Hanzo and Danzo fled like cowards and left their minions to die. It was over in moments.  It ate everyone in the vicinity but for the two of us."  

Her gaze was distant, seeing those long-ago events playing out before her eyes once more.

"When it was all over, Nagato was crippled from the fire trap, he looked to have lost about half his body weight from that thing draining him, and those black rods stayed in his back. I wasn't able to remove them. My memories get a bit fuzzy after that. Somehow I got us both back to our base and I was tending to Nagato when _that man_ showed up again. This time Nagato decided to listen to him. He told him we could bring Yahiko back. He showed him a Rinnegan jutsu that called the king of hell and had us put Yahiko's body in its mouth. When he came out, he had those things in his body, and Rinnegan eyes. Nagato was able to control him like a puppet. He's still dead. It's not really Yahiko anymore. If it had been, he would have scolded us both for agreeing to work with that man." Her face twisted in anger. "The masked man said he must have passed on already, that's why it didn't work all the way, but it was _fine,_ because he could still help Nagato fulfill his destiny. He's been with us like that ever since. The others came later."

 

 

 

The Fifth Hokage listened quietly to the report of their mission, hands steepled before his mouth as he took in all they had to tell him.

"I see. So she now believes that the masked man was planning to betray them all along, much as they were planning to betray him, as neither agreed with the other's plan for world peace. She believes he is attempting to gain a Rinnegan of his own so Nagato is no longer needed."

"What I do not understand is where the unclean spirit fits in." Neji admitted.

"I would think that would be obvious. It is the consciousness of the ten tails." Itachi responded with a frown upon his face.

 **"EH?!"** the gathered ninjas all exclaimed.

Itachi blinked and looked at all of them curiously.

"It was obvious to me at least. I know of the tablet the woman mentioned. As I do not have a Rinnegan myself I was unable to read the entire thing, though the parts I can are familiar from her story--Princess Kaguya disobeyed the edict against eating the fruit of the god tree, gained godlike powers and massive chakra, but it came at a terrible price when the god tree awoke and became a monster in order to feed upon humanity and take back its stolen power. The Sage of the Six Paths subdued the monster, stole its chakra and made the nine bijuu, and at the end of his life removed the corpse of the god-tree-turned-beast from himself where he had sealed it away and put it in the moon."

"The Boddhisatvas told everyone of their conversation with the Jinchuurikis of Cloud, who hold two of the beasts made from the Ten Tails' chakra. They seem to concur that the Sage told them a similar story of their origins." Neji interjected.

Itachi nodded.  " They have their own will because the Sage remade them. They are beings of pure chakra, which is why they need a proper container, as their previous shared body is gone. The Ten Tails, before the Sage's intervention, was a being of body, chakra and **will**. We know what happened to the body, it was sealed in the moon. Its chakra became the tailed beasts, but no mention is made of its will." he explained.

"Nagato's plan was to use the container as a super weapon to bring such horrific war upon the world that the survivors would appreciate peace and strive for it at all costs. The masked man's plan is to for someone to become the jinchuuriki of the ten tails and use the power gained to subdue everyone on Earth and put them in a happy dreamworld genjutsu." Jiraiya recounted.

"If the Ten tails' consciousness is truly the unclean spirit, then it is interesting that he chooses to ally with the one whose plan doesn't allow it to rampage, but to be imprisoned…unless the worldwide genjutsu is a prelude to allow the beast to take back its stolen chakra and become whole once more. " Tsunade added thoughtfully.

"We can surmise that the creature's only goal is to restore itself by any means necessary. It was content to allow Nagato and Konan to lead Akatsuki, even when knowing they were planning to enact their own plans, because they were still enacting _its_ will so long as they were gathering the bijuu." Itachi agreed.

"Indeed.  The moment it looked like they might consider allying with us, or at least trading us enough information to stop their plans, he stole Nagato away. He is probably planning to simply steal his eyes and take over leadership of what members remain so that it can still complete its plans of restoring itself." Gai nodded.

"The unclean spirit is split in half. Half is on the plant creature made from the First's cells. The other half may be in the masked man. It is will, without body or chakra of its own, and so must work through intermediaries. The masked man might be less than thrilled with the plan, and so it is required to influence him directly, or it simply wanted more hands to operate independently." Itachi surmised.

"Half directs the plant men, however many of them there might be, the other to maintain direct control of a very useful space-time jutsu and chakra for when more direct action is needed." Anko said thoughtfully.

"Nagato was crippled and so could not easily escape or go into hiding, and may have been influenced by the solidified will the creature stabbed him in the back with. He was fully on board with collecting the bijuu and so was mostly left alone to work without need of more direct control." Gai added.

"So we're left with the masked man, who may have both a Rinnegan and a useful sharingan eye, a half-evil plant man and however many other undetectable plant men he might have, Kabuto Yakushi, the snake sage and Hoshigaki Kisame, known in some circles as the _tailless bijuu_ still out there planning to eat the world." Jiraiya summed up, rubbing his head. "Damn."

"I'll be leaving for the Kage summit in the morning. We can all send teams out to search in earnest for the remaining Akatsuki, and perhaps urge the other nations to send their jinchuuriki for training to make them more effective should any slip through our net. Jiraiya, if you could send a copy of what we've learned to team Kakashi, that would probably be helpful as well. At least one of the Bodhisattvas has shown the ability to detect the regular plant men. It might perhaps be useful to have them be on the alert for more now that the masked man and the consciousness are getting desperate." Itachi explained as he stood.

"Team Gai, Anko-san, you will likely be receiving further updates once I've met with my advisory council. For now you are dismissed. Thank you for your service."

"Hai, Hokage-sama."

 

 

 

Kakashi edged down the stairs with casual watchfulness, ready to defend in an instant should the band of strangers that had seemingly invaded their cabin choose to attack.

"Good morning, Kakashi! Are you hungry?" Harry chirped from his spot near the stove. "It'll be a moment. Our guests were pretty hungry; they ate everything I made already."

"It was really good too!" Naruto said cheerfully. "Oh, Kakashi-sensei, this is Utakata and Saiken" he pointed to the pretty boy with the kimono who was lounging at the table "and that's Roshi and Son Goku" he pointed to the bearded red-haired man who was hunched over a plate and steadily working his way through a large stack of pancakes with rather single-minded determination.

Naruto rose and opened a door across from the table that Kakashi couldn't recall being there before. He caught a glimpse of what looked to be a beach with an ocean beyond it inside. Splashing around in the waves a short distance away was a very large armored three-tailed turtle. "And that's Isobu." he pointed before closing the door and retaking his seat.

Kakashi made his way closer and settled at the table, still eyeing the newcomers warily. "Just passing by, were you?" he asked.

"Nah. We went and got them. Me and Hari were talking earlier, 'cause we were the first ones up, and I said we really should get the others involved in our special training and all, since B and Yuugito have their temple thingy, so Hari did a jutsu to locate them and we went and got them. Not Gaara, 'cause he has to go to the Kage summit, but we got all the rest. Neat, huh?" Naruto explained, giving Kakashi a sunny smile and a cheerful thumbs-up.

"Naruto." Kakashi sighed, his one visible eye looking done with everything "You can't just abduct people from their villages."

"I left my village to go on a journey of self-discovery so I could figure out what exactly I was supposed to do with the power that got stuffed in me." Roshi grunted.

"I left my village because my sensei was planning to kill me." Utakata informed him, voice flat.

"And poor Isobu was stuck in a lake where the Akatsuki could have just grabbed him at any time!" Naruto added, waving his arms for emphasis. "He doesn't want to get stuffed in a creepy monster-thing!"

"Strength in numbers." Roshi nodded.

"It has already worked to my benefit. I was about to be surrounded by hunter-nins when Naruto-san and Hari-san appeared." Utakata agreed.

"I see."

 

In ones and twos the rest of the group began making their way down as the smell of cooking food began to permeate the cabin. The platters of bacon, sausage and pancakes disappeared pretty much as soon as Harry finished cooking them. The remaining wizards accepted the sudden appearance of two missing-nin jinchuurikis and an unsealed bijuu with aplomb--they even made a point to go visit Isobu and say hello before settling down to eat.

The remaining ninjas reacted much as Kakashi had, and seemed rather done with Naruto and his antics, but ruefully resigned to putting up with them and wondering why they were at all surprised.

As breakfast was nearing its end Naruto straightened and frowned the way he often did when he was receiving returning memories from one of his clones, then he went and summoned a toad, who handed him a scroll before vanishing once more.

"Here, Kakashi-sensei. It's a message from Pervy Sage. They learned more about Akatsuki or something."

 

Kakashi grabbed the scroll and read through it quickly, then again to take in the details. He hesitated a moment in sharing the contents, given all the non Konoha ninjas present, but relented. The jinchuuriki were their targets, and if the masked man was feeling desperate after the losses they'd suffered recently, they would have to be more on guard, especially now that they had four of their targets right in easy reach.

He quickly summarized all they'd learned, and the Hokage's suspicions about the masked man and the identity of the 'unclean spirit'.

"Well. That's pretty messed up. I'd sympathize more with the thing wanting to fix itself if it didn't involve killing all of us. As it is I find myself quite lacking in any sympathy, except for maybe the poor bastards the thing might have been controlling." Roshi grunted once he was finished.

"Indeed." Utakata agreed.

"You remember my birth?" Naruto suddenly spoke up. "How were you…what do you mean you were in my mom?!"

"Ah. I take it the Kyuubi is speaking to you?" Sasuke realized. "He was in your mom before?"

"Oh, did no one ever mention that?" Kakashi shrugged.

"He said there was a guy with a mask when I was being born. He attacked and killed the guards and the midwives and tried to blow me up, and tore the nine-tails out of mom and controlled him. It's his fault the village got attacked." Naruto explained.

"If he was there attacking, that would explain where the Fourth was during most of the nine-tails' rampage. He must have been chasing the guy trying to kill him." Kakashi realized. "He was only seen twice--once to redirect a bijuu blast sent towards the mountain and then atop Gamabunta to grab the nine-tails and take it far from the village. The next we heard he and your mother were both dead and you had been made the jinchuuriki." Kakashi realized.

"I don't get it though. Why didn't mom just pull him back in? She'd have healed up fine and dad wouldn't have had to die sealing him in me." Naruto wondered.

"Maybe she couldn't. She had just given birth." Sakura scolded.

"Maybe the masked man wasn't able to overcome them as easily as he'd hoped he could. The Fourth was known for the power of his jutsu. He was known as the Yellow Flash for a reason. That's all anyone ever saw of him. The masked man's main power seems to be a space-time jutsu as well." Sasuke noted. "He might have genjutsued them to think they had no other recourse but to die. After all, an untrained child, without parents or a support system, hated in the wake of an attack that destroyed half the village and decimated the shinobi forces is a much easier target than two strong trained adults." he glanced at Hari and friends thoughtfully "Or he would have been in normal circumstances."

"Hmm. Something else to thank the Great Toad Sage for, I guess." Luna nodded.

"So what's being done about the ones that remain?" Sakura wondered.

"Security is being tightened, and I believe teams will be scouring the bases that are known of in Fire Country to see if they're hiding out in our borders. I'm sure the other nations will do the same once the Kage Summit commences." Kakashi assured them. "We may be able to resolve all this easily once everyone knows what's going on."

"What about the cripple guy? Nagato or something?" Naruto wondered. "He's probably already dead, if the masked guy wanted his eyes." Tenzo pointed out.

"He's alive." He's in a weird place that seems to be full of boxes." Tom spoke up. "

Oh? And how could you know that?" Kakashi chirped, his one visible eye suspicious.

"I just checked." Tom huffed in return. "I can't tell if he still has his eyes or not as they're closed."

"Can you go to him?" Naruto wondered. "You can drop a kunai and I'll rescue him. If he still has his eyes we can't let that guy get them."

"And if he doesn't, he needs healing." Harry agreed.

"You want to bring the leader of the criminal organization that is after all of you HERE where all of you ARE?" Kakashi sighed rather pointedly.

"If he doesn't have his magic eyeballs anymore and is crippled to boot, it isn't like he's a threat anymore." Sakura pointed out.

"And if he is, well, he's crippled right? That means he can't run away while Naruto talk-no-jutsus him." Sasuke agreed.

"Talk no jutsu?" Naruto said confused.

"Yes, the super secret technique you do that is so secret, even you didn't know about it." Sasuke agreed dryly.

"You know, that thing you do, with the talking, that gets people to reevaluate their entire life and drop everything to help you, turn over a new leaf and become completely different people. It's like a super power or something." Sakura agreed, voice wry.

The discussion on whether or not to rescue Nagato went back and forth for some time before it was finally agreed that leaving the man in the masked man's clutches did no one any good, and securing his safety might well make his partner, Konan, a firm ally rather than a tentative ally of convenience. Before leaving to go retrieve him, Tom opened a closet door that hadn't been there a moment before and flicked through several doors stacked inside like he was flicking through files. He grabbed one and carried it to an empty expanse of wall and set it on it, then opened it and went into a room that was revealed when the door opened. The ninjas all followed him curiously.

"It's a hospital?" Sakura asked curiously.

"An infirmary at best. Just in case." Harry agreed.

There were three beds with screens that could be pulled around each for privacy. A room off to the side had several cauldrons atop stove burners, equipment to distill liquids, cabinets filled with dried herbs, flowers, animal parts and the like. There were areas with cutting boards, a selection of knives, stirring rods, funnels and ladles, racks of empty vials, canisters and jars. At the other end of the room with the beds was a sink, as well as a walk-in closet filled with racks of potions, creams, sterile bandages. Beside it was another that held clean linens, extra blankets and pillows on one side, and empty basins, pitchers and water glasses on the other. There was also a bathroom with three toilets on one side, and a shower and bathtub on the other.

"Nice setup. This place has everything!" Naruto enthused.

"Just about. We've been adding to it since I first acquired it." Tom nodded.

"Do all those doors have rooms attached to them?" Sakura asked curiously.

"Yes."

"Wow! What are the other rooms?" Naruto wondered.

"Well, there's the ocean room that Isobu is currently occupying, there's another with a swamp. That was a gift." Tom said wryly.

"Why would someone give you a swamp room as a gift?"

"Twin menaces that work for Harry's company made a portable swamp as a prank item. It's usually contained in an explosive capsule that you can toss behind you to ensnare someone you've pissed off that's chasing you. I complemented them on the job they did, so they gave me one for my house. You never know what's going to come in handy, so I built a room and tossed it inside and put it with the others. The last two are a hot spring and a dojo room with Harry's training dummies."

"Training dummies?" Sasuke asked curiously.

"Hot spring?" Sakura said at the same time.

"For sword training, and yes."  Harry nodded.

"What good are dummies to learn sword work?"

"They're mobile. You can either have them demonstrate moves with a sword type of your choice to mimic, or you can have one or all of them attack you. There are three levels. Human fatigue trajectory, same rate throughout, and the last slowly gets faster and hits harder the longer you go on." Harry explained.

While Tom was being handed a kunai to summon Naruto when he got to Nagato, Harry sighed and went to put up the doors for the hot spring and the dojo. He got back to the infirmary just as Naruto disappeared in a flash.

Neville and Luna took the new jinchuurikis outside to get them started on training. Sasuke disappeared into the dojo, and soon the sound of wooden swords striking one another at high speed echoed through the house.

Sakura obviously wanted to check out the hot spring, but she stayed with Harry, Kakashi and Tenzo to wait for Nagato to arrive in case he was in need of healing.

Naruto reappeared in a flash while Tom suddenly appeared with a muted 'crack'.

"Hmm. I think your jutsu was poorly named, Naruto. I believe Toma is the flying thunder god." Kakashi joked.

Naruto, who had a thin, pale-skinned man hanging limply in his arms, didn't seem to be in the mood for joking.

"Kaka-sensei, look at him!" he said with muted fury.

He turned to gaze at the blood red hair that tumbled over his arm and shoulder.

"He's an Uzumaki!"

The man looked like he was about to stir, but Harry tapped him firmly in the center of his forehead and he went limp again.

"Who or what he is can wait. We need to get those rods out of him. Did you check his eyes?"

"Yeah. He's missing one."

"Only one?" Sakura said in surprise.

"The masked man has only one eye visible. If he's missing the other he just took one to replace his missing eye, which allows him to still use his space time jutsu with the sharingan on the other side." Kakashi reasoned. "He had him captive and obviously under a genjutsu to keep him docile. He could have come back for the other at any time."

 

Harry helped Naruto put the guy face down on the closest bed and winced at the sight of the black rods jammed into his back.

"They've been in there long enough the flesh has bonded to them. They're going to need to be cut out."

"You cut, I'll heal?" Sakura offered, washing her hands with a burn of chakra to remove any impurities.

"Sounds good." Harry agreed.

The two medics quickly fell into a rhythm, doing their best to heal the damage that years in the thrall of the Ten Tails and one particularly bad day had done to the man. While Sakura was sealing the last of the deep wounds left by the rods, Harry was carefully checking over the man's spine, and then his legs. Kakashi grimaced at the sight of them when the boy was done--they looked strangely lumpy and deformed.

"What did you do to him?"

"The burns he received to his legs did damage to the muscles and tendons. I removed the damaged parts. I'm going to give him several potions to help him regrow the lost tissue. I'm hopeful that between this and what I've done to heal his spine he'll be able to walk again, though I won't know if he'll regain full mobility until I see how the potions take." Harry explained.

Sakura finished healing the last of the open wounds, so they flipped him on to his back. Sakura ran a diagnostic over his eyes and frowned, glancing at Harry.

"Harry-kun? Could you take a look as well? I'd like a second opinion on my conclusion."

Harry glanced at her curiously, but did the scan as asked. He frowned when he was done and did it a second time. Sakura nodded as though the action didn't surprise her at all.

"Those weren't originally his eyes."

"That's what I thought as well." Sakura nodded.

"This poor bastard really hasn't had much luck in his life, has he?" Harry noted.

"What I don't get is why? It had to have been done when he was too young to remember. He was seven or something when Jiraiya-sama met him and his friends, right? That's plenty old enough to remember someone replacing your eyes. From the information we were sent he seems to have accepted that he's the reincarnation of the Sage of the Six Paths because of them. He wouldn't have done so if he knew they'd been given to him by someone else. He might have declared himself the Sage's prophet or chosen, but not the Sage himself." Sakura mused.

"You know, I am SO glad no one in my world has magic eyeballs. They definitely seem to be far more trouble than they're worth." Harry grumbled. "Whatever. I'm going to go grab the potions he needs to regrow the damaged tissue I removed, then I'll be busy making something to regrow his eyeball. It'll probably start out as his original eyeball…given that he's had magic eyeballs in his head most of his life that he seems to be able to use as though they were his own, I can't guarantee it won't eventually turn into another magic eyeball. The chakra in the one remaining seems to have bonded with his bodily systems, so I really don't know how deeply he's been changed. Fair warning."

"We'll keep it in mind." Kakashi nodded.

 

Harry went to the closet and returned a few minutes later with several potions in hand, as well as a clipboard on which he was presumably creating a patient chart detailing what had been done and was being given to him. He handed it off to Sakura when he was done so she could add anything she thought pertinent, then busied himself tapping each of the potions vials in his hand one at a time with a long stick he pulled from his sleeve which emptied the contents--into Nagato's stomach, Kakashi assumed. While Sakura was making notes on the chart, Harry disappeared into the potions lab.

They could hear him washing out the empty vials and then puttering around--setting up a cauldron, chopping ingredients, the whoosh of a flame being lit, the slight scrape of a stirring rod against the side of the cauldron. He wandered out some time later and held a vial against Nagato's arm, filling it with blood, then another vial which he only filled part way, before wandering off again. Kakashi, Tenzo and Sakura were all beyond curious, but they knew better than to interrupt when someone was in the middle of something.

It was about two hours later when he returned, this time with a blob of jellylike substance about the size of a cherry "or an eyeball" Kakashi realized, remembering the boy said he was going to regrow Nagato's lost eye. It was levitating in front of him, and had a barrier around it, probably to keep it sterile until it was deployed. Kakashi lifted the edge of his forehead protector to look at the blob and saw it was filled with dormant chakra, the matrix of it somehow reminiscent of the curse seals Orochimaru used to hand out like candy--filled with purpose and limited consciousness to achieve its objectives that is, rather than twisted and filled with evil.

The boy levitated the blob, barrier and all, against Nagato's empty eye socket. With a flick of the stick in his hand the blob was dumped into the socket with little fanfare and his eyelid closed, then the whole thing bandaged to keep it that way. Nagato twitched. This time Sakura tapped him on the forehead to calm him. When he subsided once more, Harry turned to face the two Jounin.

"Do either of you have any idea how long that Danzo bastard was doing science baby experiments for?" he wondered.

"Between himself and Orochimaru, at least twenty five to thirty years. Why?" Tenzo replied uncomfortably.

"Because this guy is Naruto's uncle."

"Well shit." Sakura said with feeling. "Though on the plus side, that might make him more susceptible to talk no jutsu."

"You did genetic testing on him? How? You shouldn’t have a bank of the village's bloodlines to match him against." Kakashi asked suspiciously.

Harry just rolled his eyes. "We have a jutsu that traces your lineage through your chakra. I believe I know whose eyes he has though." he replied, pointing his stick towards the potions lab and catching the rolled up parchment that flew out towards him. He grabbed one of the rolling tables that was against the wall and pulled it out, unrolling the parchment upon it so they all could see. Kakashi did his best not to start in surprise at the rather detailed family tree that seemed to be laid out in small print across the parchment.

At the very bottom there was Nagato, and right beside him, Kushina. From Kushina extended two lines: Naruto, and Yoko. A broken golden line joined the name 'Kurama' between Kushina and the two children. The next line up held a bunch of names: Katsumi and Akane Uzumaki, and then Madara Uchiha,Hashirama Senju, and Tobi, which was written with the characters for 'Ten Tails' rather than 'kite' as it normally would be. The whole strange grouping was joined to Nagato with a broken gold line.

"That's how it would usually show up if we did a bloodline adoption." Harry pointed. "I mentioned that the chakra from the Rinnegan had bonded to his bodily systems. As far as chakra is concerned, Nagato is all those people's son, as much as Naruto and Yoko are Kurama's for much the same reason."

"Who the heck is Kurama?" Sakura asked.

"The Nine-tailed Fox."

"… This information can never leave this room. It will start people treating Naruto badly again. There are still fools in the village that think he IS the fox. Being his son by chakra inheritance will be just as bad." Sakura decided.

"I'm not going to keep this from Naruto." Harry chided. "He has enough sense not to go shouting it from the rooftops. Knowing your lineage is important to orphans, more so than for folks that already know who their relatives are. It gives you roots and history and a sense of belonging. I might do one for him too, as this is technically Nagato's lineage. Naruto's would show his father's line as well, not just his name."

"It's too bad Minato-sensei isn't still around. He would have loved that. He was a clanless orphan. He had no idea where he came from." Kakashi said sadly as he traced through the family tree, following it back. His finger stilled a few lines up from Nagato and Kushina and his eye widened in surprise.

"You find something else weird?" Sakura wondered.

"Kushina…and Nagato, it seems, were the great-great grandchildren of the First and his wife, through their daughter Hitomi Senju….who is the daughter by chakra inheritance of the nine tails as well." he said with disbelief.

"So. Naruto is related to three of the five Hokages and got treated like that? That's messed up." Harry grunted.

"No one knows…well, perhaps the elders knew, but no one else did. I knew Kushina when she was alive, and I didn't know. Naruto's relation to the Fourth was kept secret, and only a few close to them even knew Minato and Kushina were married. He was given her name to hide his heritage… although I believe Minato might have chosen to take her name rather than the reverse as he was an orphan and she was from an old established clan." Kakashi mused unhappily. "Truthfully, I'm not even sure if Kushina knew. She was just a little girl when she was sent off to Konoha to be the next jinchuuriki when Mito-sama was growing old. She knew she was related somehow to Mito-sama, but they were from the same clan. I don't know if she realized their connection was more direct than that. She always referred to her as "Mito-sama", not grandmother or ancestor or anything like that. She never really talked about Whirlpool. I was left with the impression that she had been recently orphaned when the call for a suitable vessel went out and she was sent as she had no close ties left in Whirlpool and had the special chakra to make a good vessel--hardly surprising if the First and Mito-sama were her grandparents."

"I would imagine this special chakra of theirs would also make someone a good candidate to be a vessel for a pair of Rinnegan eyes. How suspicious." Harry grunted.

He checked the time and then rose to go check on Nagato's progress.

"He's still under, and his healing seems to be progressing well. I'll put up an alarm to tell me if he's waking up. We might as well go join the others. The process won't be done for a few more hours yet."


	6. A trip to Turtle Island

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagato awakens,Naruto gets a haircut, Harry and company are reunited with Yugito.

"He's really my uncle? My mom's brother?" Naruto asked numbly.

"According to the family tree I did, yeah. My guess is the masked guy or one of the plant men must have stolen him from Whirlpool as a baby and faked his death…and may have taken out your grandparents as well, though that might have happened later. According to what Kakashi said, he was left with the impression your mum was recently orphaned which is why she was sent to Konoha as a little girl… although, from what I remember of the bits of history I read when I was here before, that's actually sort of odd unless headship wasn't inherited…"

"What?"

"Well, I remembered that Ashina Uzumaki was the leader of Whirlpool at the time Mito was sent to Konoha to marry Hashirama. She was his daughter, and I assume her brother took over when he was gone. Hashirama and Mito sent their daughter to Whirlpool to marry into the Uzumaki. She married into a different branch of the family, but their granddaughter was Akane, your grandmother, who married Ashina's descendant, the eldest son. If headship was by inheritance rather than some other criteria, with Nagato and your grandparents gone, your mother would have been next in line to be leader of Whirlpool, but instead she was shipped off to be the next host for the Nine-tails, which meant she was never going to be allowed to go back. If she was very young when she was sent off, she may not have known, or she did realize and that's why she never talked about the place much. She was Mito's granddaughter as much as Tsunade, yet Tsunade is known as a princess as Mito was, but your mother doesn't seem to have been. I suppose it doesn't matter now, with the country gone, but it just seems strange." Harry explained.

Naruto frowned. He didn't really care about rank overmuch, but yeah it was weird.

"I'm going to check on him if you want to come along. His eyeball should have finished growing by now, and the damaged bone and muscle as well."

Naruto grimaced, but he rose easily to follow. Kakashi and Tenzo, seeing where they were headed, invited themselves along. They sat quietly while Harry scanned the man and physically checked his eye.

"So far so good. Everything seems to have healed up well. All the potions have run their course. Let me just do this" he tapped him on the back of his back, hitting him with a chakra-suppressing seal, then opened the eye with the Rinnegan, smiling when he saw it was plain dark grey rather than having rings like it had earlier.

"His Rinnegan turned itself off and his chakra is suppressed. I'm going to do a full-body scan real quick to see if there's any issues still outstanding that I didn't pick up the…first time...Uh..."

"I take it you found something?" Kakashi asked with a sigh when Harry trailed off.

"Uh, yeah. There's a seal on his heart." Harry agreed, disturbed.

"What's it look like?" Naruto wondered.

"It's solid black and looks like a four pointed shuriken with a Rinnegan pattern in the center and a dot above and below it."

"I'm not familiar with that one, but with it being on his heart it sounds like it's probably a suicide seal."

"Or a murder someone inconvenient seal." Kakashi agreed.  "It's going to be tricky to remove if it's directly on his heart."

"Yeah. Usually you have to have direct contact with a seal to remove it. Trying to send chakra into his chest…you'd be working blind and might stop his heart by accident…but opening up his chest to get to his heart directly doesn't sound much better." Naruto said uneasily "Not to mention seals of that type often have a failsafe built in. If the chakra that touches it isn't the chakra that placed it, it goes off before you have a chance to mess with it, killing whoever it's on and disintegrating the seal while it does so, because people who do stuff like that don't take any chances and would rather the person they put it on be dead than possibly be rescued or questioned."

Tenzo eyed Harry curiously when he stared at the wall intently for a moment, looking to be in deep concentration, then relaxed and turned to the door expectantly. Tenzo turned as well to look, while Naruto and Kakashi continued discussing ways to try to disable the suicide seal.

"You rang?" Tom asked as he stepped into the room. "Something about a suicide seal?"

"Yeah, on his heart. Can you remove it without killing him?"

"I should be able to manage something." Tom nodded, stepping closer.

Tenzo filed the exchange away for later. On top of everything else they seemed to be able to silently communicate over distance.

Tenzo, Kakashi and Naruto all watched curiously as Tom pulled out a long stick and began waving it over Nagato's heart. Kakashi raised his headband so he could watch with his Sharingan eye as well. It was frustrating in the extreme. The wisps of chakra that were coming out of the stick were so gossamer fine it was hard to make much of them at all.

Tom continued waving the stick for several minutes then glanced at Harry who came out of the closet with a small notepad which he handed to him. Tom pointed his stick at it and black ink oozed from the end of it and dropped onto the paper, taking the shape Harry had described.

"Cool." Naruto said, impressed. "You got around any failsafes by just taking the whole thing."

Tom tapped his stick to the center and lifted, and the seal unraveled so they could see the components of it.

"Yeah, that's a nasty piece of work alright." Naruto grunted after studying it for a few minutes. "Kill switch, and there's an emotional component as well. I think we can definitely say there was at least some coercion involved, though exactly how much I couldn't say."

"I concur." Kakashi nodded after studying it as well.

"I'm going to wake him up, alright? I figure you all want to talk to him." Harry said after they'd all studied the seal.

"We do, thank you." Tenzo nodded.

Harry tapped Nagato on the center of his forehead and then stood so he'd see him when he opened his eyes. Nagato stirred and his eyes fluttered open. His left eye was violet-blue, the right dark grey, almost black. He tensed and his gaze darted around warily even as he took stock of himself.

"Please be at ease. We rescued you from the masked man after he kidnapped you. He stole one of the Rinnegans before we managed to do so. Your chakra has been suppressed as we don't actually trust your good intentions. Sorry." Harry said neutrally. "How do you feel? We healed your back and legs and regrew your missing eye. Are you in any pain? Is your vision at all blurry?"

Nagato was notably tense and blank-faced, but he replied nonetheless.

"I feel fine. My eyesight isn't blurry. I am a bit thirsty."

"Ah, my apologies. I should have had some water waiting for you. Just a moment."

While Harry bustled off to get Nagato some water, Kakashi, Tenzo and Naruto approached.

"The kyuubi jinchuuriki."

"I have a name, ya know. Naruto Uzumaki… _uncle._ I'm not a thing for you to play with, and neither is Kurama. I'm willing to forgive you since you were probably being mind-controlled and all, not to mentioned kidnapped and given some creepy dead guy's eyeballs, but keep it up and we're going to have a problem, believe it!"

Nagato just stared at him.

"Here we go!" Harry chirped as he returned.

He set the pitcher down on the side table and poured out a glass.

"Ah, family reunions are always so emotional. They go so much better if you're well hydrated. Drink up now!"

Nagato eyed him strangely as well, but he drank the water readily enough.

"You know Naruto, we should probably let his friend know we've recovered him. I'm sure she's been worried." Harry noted thoughtfully. "Maybe bring her to visit at some point."

"Oh, that Konan lady pervy sage mentioned? Yeah, we should. It's pretty terrible when your precious people are missing and you don't know where they are and all." Naruto nodded.

He made a clone which popped right afterwards.

"Naruto…" Kakashi said warningly.

"What? If it was me I'd want to know he wasn't kidnapped anymore. Even criminals have feelings!" Naruto defended.

"Why don't you run along so we can interview the man that is trying to _kill you and the other jinchuuriki and destroy the world_ before worrying about something like that, yes?" Kakashi said with admirable patience.

"Geez, fine! I should go back to training anyway." Naruto grumbled, heading for the door.

"Are you hungry?" Harry asked Nagato.

"A bit."

"I'll throw together some food for you." he nodded, following after.

 

"You alright?" Harry asked once they were out of earshot.

"Yeah. I guess. It's just, I wished I had family when I was a kid, like other kids did. Turns out I had an uncle out there all along, but he and those weird guys were off plotting my death by bijuu extraction." Naruto sighed with rueful bitterness.

"He likely has no idea who he really is, and we don’t know yet how much influence or control he was under. It wasn't personal. I imagine it was very easy to distance themselves from what they were doing, standing way up on the fingers like they were, while the unconscious jinchuuriki was far below having the bijuu slowly drawn out of them. You're not alone anymore, remember, so even if he proves to be too far gone to be talked around, you still have a family." Harry reminded him.

"Yeah. It's so unfair! Everyone has red hair but me! I don't look like I even belong with the rest of them!" Naruto said with a smile that masked real frustration. "When I first saw my mom's picture, I remember saying I wished I had her red hair. I thought it was so pretty. Hinata told me she liked my blonde hair, that it looked like sunshine and made her happy." he recalled with a smile. "Which made me feel a lot better, but part of me still kind of wishes I did."

"I can give you red hair if you really want it." Harry offered.

"It'll just wash off or something." Naruto shrugged "I can't be bothered to keep dying it."

"No, I mean I could give you red hair. You have the genes for it. It should be easy enough to make it permanent."

Naruto considered this for a while. It was one thing to sort of wish for it, quite another to actually do it.

"Could you turn it back if I decide I don't like it?"

"Up until I leave, yeah. After that it would be permanent if I don't change it back."

"Huh."

Naruto bit his lip and considered some more. "Do it." he finally said. "It'd be silly to not at least try it out while I have the chance, right?"

"I guess. You still wear a lot of bright orange?"

"Sometimes. It is my favorite color after all."

"You might have to go with a different shade of orange if you still want to wear it. It'll clash with your hair otherwise. My friend Ron back home likes this sports team, the Chudley Cannons, and their team shirts, banners and all are bright orange. He has shirts, a blanket, and posters all supporting the team, so he wears bright orange a lot too. He has red hair--not Uzumaki red, a lighter shade, and it clashes something awful. If he's not wearing orange it's usually maroon. His mum makes sweaters for everyone every year, his are always maroon. That kind of clashes on him too. I'm just saying be prepared for some adjustments and maybe widen your fashion choices if you decide to keep it." Harry warned.

"Let's do it." Naruto nodded.

"If you're sure… alright then."

Harry nodded, pulling his wand. He waved it over him and then did a quick visual check--hair on the top of the head, the light hairs on his forearms and his eyebrows--check.

"Next time you go to the bathroom, take a look, would you? It looks like I got everything, but if you decide to keep this, it's best if the carpet match the drapes, if you know what I mean."

"Huh?"

"Never mind. You'll see for yourself. I have a feeling I'll know if I did a thorough job or not." Harry chuckled, before grabbing some food for Nagato.

"Uh, yeah. Whatever." Naruto said uncertainly while Harry started putting a tray together.

"Hmm. I should probably start lunch since I'm already in here."

"Can we have ramen again?"

"No. I don't have any more noodles. I thought I had enough to have it several times, but you cleaned out most of the supply by yourself with that one meal."

"Oh. Heh, heh. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it. At least I know you enjoyed it." Harry laughed.

"Why does my head feel so heavy?"

"Hmm?" Harry said innocently.

Naruto looked suspicious at the tone. He spotted a mirror and went over to take a look and realized he had a ponytail that went down to the back of his thighs. "Harry-nii!"

"What? You said you wished you had your mom's hair. I just gave it to you." Harry said with a grin.

His grin quickly dropped when Naruto smirked back and began doing handsigns. "WILD LION'S MANE!"

"ACK!"

Harry dove to the side and ran for it when an open-mouthed lion made of Naruto's hair came shooting at him.

"GET BACK HERE!"

"NEVER!"

"What on earth?!" Sakura exclaimed as they ran by.

Luna giggled. "He must have wished for his mother's hair."

"Oh, honestly!"

"Hn." Sasuke agreed.

 

Tom was distracted from the spectacle when Nagini slithered over to him with a friend in tow.

**_"Master. I'm going to go study with the snake queen. This one says he can take me to her. I will study their arts and when I return I shall be a dragon."_ **

**_"Ah. Good idea. I should be able to summon you back should I have need of you, or if we're ready to leave. Oh, ask them about Kabuto Yakushi. He's a snake sage. It kind of makes the snake clans look bad with him running around using their arts to try to awaken the ten tails and destroy the world. Perhaps they'll punish him so we needn't bother."_ **

**_"Very well. I shall do so. It is indeed a foolish hatchling that tries to destroy its own feeding grounds. He is unworthy."_** Nagini sniffed before allowing the snake that accompanied her over to wind around her before reverse summoning himself back to the sage lands.

"What?" Tom asked Sasuke, who was eyeing him strangely.

"You can talk to it?"

"Her, and yes."

"In her own language?" he said with some bewilderment. Kiba could understand Akamaru when he barked, but he didn't _bark back_.

"It's a talent that runs through the family. Harry and I can both do it." Tom nodded.

Sasuke nodded, still a bit thrown by the whole thing. They had all heard Hari hiss at the snake when she'd come in to be fed, but had dismissed it as nothing more than imitation as she hadn't really responded. She and Tom were having a conversation.

"Huh. Where'd she go?"

"She met a snake that claimed it could take her to learn from the snake sages. I told her to mention that fellow Kabuto. If we're lucky the snakes will punish him for being an idiot so we don't have to." Tom explained.

"Hn." Sasuke nodded. It had been a good thought.

He glanced back over at Hari and Naruto and found Naruto with his hair down and his headband off so Hari could trim off the excess. It curled up into the usual spiky tufts once the weight of the extra hair was gone, but it stayed red. Hari did something and the long length of red hair in his hands vanished, though a few strands escaped before he did so. Sasuke snatched one drifting past him out of the air and wound it between his hands.

"Your very own red string of fate. How fortuitous." Tom commented dryly when he saw.

Sasuke hurriedly let the hair blow away and glared at Tom for his trouble, though the faint trace of pink on his cheeks undercut the glare somewhat.

"Why'd he leave it red? Does it need to wear off?" he asked rather than address it.

"I imagine he wanted it left like that, he just didn't want hair down to his ankles. Uzumakis have red hair it seems--all of them but Naruto, at least until now. It wasn't such a problem when he was the only Uzumaki. Now there are several and he's still somewhat alone in the crowd. Orphans will do a lot for a sense of belonging--change their hair color, brand others with marks that will bind them to you beyond death, adopt fellow orphans across dimensions…"

Sasuke looked at him oddly. "Would that be one of the 'stupid things'?"

"Among others. Oh, it's alright _now_ …but it turns out bindings like that can go very badly if the one that originates it loses their mind."

"Hn." Sasuke agreed.

He glanced back at Naruto, who had joined the other jinchuuriki in meditating while Harry headed back into the cabin. He wasn't sure he liked it. He'd always thought the blonde looked like sunshine, warm and bright. He didn't shine quite so brightly without it. He wasn't going to ruin it for him though, if it made him happy. He himself likely would have jumped on such a jutsu if he were the only blonde in a sea of dark Uchiha hair. Unless he looked cool as a blonde, in which case he would have kept it.

It was definitely going to take some getting used to.

"Ready to get back to work, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura called.

"You're awfully eager. Aren't you tired of meditating?" Sasuke wondered as he moved to join her.

"A little, but it's worth it don't you think? I feel lighter…more settled. Plus, I think my seal is going to be ready early!"

"Your seal?" Sasuke wondered.

"Like Tsunade-sama has, the Strength of One Hundred. I've been directing part of my chakra to it continuously for two years now to store in the reservoir the seal creates. When it's filled to capacity I'll get the diamond-shaped seal mark on my forehead like she has. I thought it was going to take at least another year if not longer to get it to one hundred times my base chakra, but it's more than three-fourths full already and I've only opened two of the chakra gates. At this rate I may have completed it by the time we're done!" she said excitedly.

"Hn."

Sakura's eyebrow twitched.

 _"Gee, Sakura, it's amazing that you've managed this intricate feat of extreme chakra control for years, it's really impressive! How nice for you that this training will provide a shortcut to completing it early, good for you!"_ she said in a bad imitation of Sasuke's voice as she flopped down amongst the jinchuurikis.

"That's what I said." Sasuke said irritably.

"Yeah, Sakura, you just don't speak Uchiha." Naruto chimed in with an amused grin.

"Hn." Sasuke agreed.

"Aa." Naruto nodded wisely.

Sakura's eyebrow twitched some more, and for a moment it looked like she was going to strangle both of them.

"Do you three mind? All your negative energy is kind of harshing my groove here." Roshi complained.

"Hn." Utakata agreed, just to be a troll.

"You're not helping." Roshi sighed.

 

 

 

"We are we going anyway?" Kisame wondered. "There doesn't seem to be anything out here but ocean."

"I spent time in Cloud village. They have a giant turtle with an island atop it where they send their jinchuuriki for training. They've shielded the island so the jinchuurikis energy cannot be sensed, but the turtle everything lies atop is far too large to be hidden the same way. My summon is tracking the turtle. When we find it we will have found our targets." Kabuto chuckled.

He pointed to a vague misty green smudge on the horizon. "And look. There it is."

Kisame chuckled appreciatively.

"Nice. Just in time too. I was getting bored."

"You'll have all the excitement you can handle soon enough."

"Hear that, Samehada? You'll have achance to feast soon." Kisame asked, patting the very large wrapped sword that was strapped across his back. The sword quivered at the thought of delicious, potent bijuu chakra to devour.

"Samehada's hungry. This should be no problem at all." Kabuto said as a too-large smile stretched across his face.  The giant snake that seemed to be growing out of his belly that rose behind him like an odd tail twitched, and his eyes gleamed in anticipation.

Kisame focused on the distant island rather than his partner. He himself might be a nearly seven-foot tall blue land shark, but Kabuto was _creepy._

He sometimes wondered if he'd been too quick to leave his village behind when he considered the group of weirdos that he'd fallen in with once he'd done so, but it was too late to worry about it now.

 

 

 

 

 

"Let me get this straight" A, Raikage of Cloud village, rumbled in annoyance "the creeps that carried off Yuugito and tried to slaughter one of my teams when they lost her, are being led around by the nose by the consciousness of the _Ten Tailed Bijuu,_ who used to be a _tree_ that was _mad its fruit got eaten_ and went on a rampage, only to be stopped by the Sage of the Six Paths, who tore it apart and made the bijuu and put its corpse in the moon. Is that about right?"

"Indeed." Itachi nodded.

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" Oonoki, Tsuchikage of Stone scoffed.

"I hate to agree with the old man there, but it seems pretty farfetched. You say it's been running around for hundreds, if not thousands, of years possessing people , and it's only just now gotten around to stealing bijuu? It seems a bit out there. What took it so long?" Zabuza Momochi, Mizukage of the Mist Village objected.

"I believe him. You must consider that this thing isn't human. It probably took it awhile to perfect its approach to find something that worked. Also, it needed another with a Rinnegan to appear as it seems that was the key to retrieving the corpse from the moon. If it is simply will, then so long as it has a purpose to fulfill it is essentially immortal, is it not?" Gaara, Kazekage of Sand spoke up in support of the Hokage. "Also, when I asked Shukaku he agreed with the story told by the two tails, Matatabi. He too remembers the Sage of the Six Paths telling them the story of their origins. It is true. Now the question is how to we stop it?"

"Destroy the Rinnegan eyes. He needs them, right? No magic eyeballs no problem." Zabuza scoffed.

"Tear that plant guy apart with black lightning." A murmured.

"I suppose I could try disintegrating the statue?" Oonoki suggested. "It can't really fix itself if its body is gone, right?"

"I guess we should all set our sealing corps to the job of designing a seal array to contain the willpower of the Ten Tails should we encounter it." Gaara agreed.

"Even if the thing isn't responsible for every bad thing that ever happened in the world, it is certainly responsible for a lot of it." Itachi nodded. "Stopping its plans should be our first priority. All of these suggestions seem like a good start."

 

 

 

"Wow. Roshi-san, you're really moving right along! You're already as far along as Naruto even though you haven't been doing it as long." Sakura said in surprise as Roshi's third gate opened.

"I did say I was on a journey of self-discovery. I've been training and thinking about a lot of things for a while now. A couple of years, really. I guess I already did most of the heavy lifting, I just needed to focus my effort to make it pay off."

"You've come pretty far as well." Sasuke noted to Utakata, who had opened his second gate already.

"I've been alone but for Saiken since I left my village. There wasn't really much to do but train and think a lot. I suppose like Roshi-san said, I had already done most of the work, I just needed to focus those efforts in a particular way to see the benefit of it."

Sasuke just nodded, but it made him feel better. Naruto was already working on his fourth chakra gate. Sakura was working on the third, as was Utakata, while he was still working on the second and hadn't succeeded in opening it yet. It was frustrating in the extreme. The hairs on Sasuke's arms rose and prickled as the wash of energy that came from a newly opened gate flowed. He flicked on his Sharingan, and sure enough, Naruto now had four spots of dense chakra going up his spine. _Damn it._

He eyed Naruto in curiousity as he frowned and then made the hand signs that he knew were for Eye of the Kagura, the sensing jutsu Karin had taught him.

"Naruto?" Sakura questioned.

"I think Akatsuki found B and Yuugito. Kurama agrees. He says he can definitely sense Matatabi and Gyuki. We need to go help them." Naruto answered.  "It's the snake freak and the shark guy. Kakashi-sensei was right. They're a lot stronger than the clone versions we fought. A _lot_ stronger."

"Toma-san! We need to get to Turtle Island." Sakura called.

"I'll give you another marker. We need to go help B and Yuugito." Naruto agreed, rising to his feet.

"It's been a while since I had a good fight." Utakata mused as he rose as well.

"Same here. Who better to kick around than the bastards that think they can just hunt us down one by one and feed us to a creepy monster?" Roshi agreed, a feral grin spreading across his face.

Tom disappeared with a muted crack.

"I should go get Kakashi and Tenzo, let them know what's happening." Sasuke realized.

"I think Nebiru took care of it already." Sakura pointed.

Kakashi, Tenzo, Harry and Neville were all exiting the cabin. Harry did something to it so it collapsed and folded up into a small square which he put away in one of his pockets.

"Everyone ready? He just dropped the marker." Naruto called.

The remaining wizards exchanged a glance and had a silent conversation, before moving over to join the others in touching Naruto. Their way of travelling was kind of noisy and would be more likely to draw attention than a flash of light if there was a battle going on.

"Let's go kick some ass!" Naruto crowed.

The who group disappeared in a flash of light.

 

 

The group took a moment to orient itself and look around.

"Are these…trees?" Neville asked, poking at the tall structures they'd landed amongst.

"Spikes. The whole turtle is covered with them. I had a lovely time trying to land here. It's a good thing I have good reflexes. The turtle is still moving. I had to apparate to a new location upon arrival so I didn't get impaled." Tom grumbled. "I got as close to the battle as I thought prudent. You can hear it from here."

"Let's go then." Kakashi nodded, leading the ninjas forward quietly.

The wizards let them go first and made their way forward more carefully. Harry turned and frowned into the distance before they'd gone very far and then gestured all of them to follow him on a path perpendicular to the one the ninjas followed. As they wove their way around and between the massive spikes, they began to see signs of an earlier battle and then bodies. Harry hurried towards the fallen ninja, already scanning for life signs as he went. He did what he could to stabilize him and then hit him with a stasis charm to keep his condition from worsening while he looked for more survivors.

They found two more badly wounded right nearby. Neville and Tom worked on getting them stable while Harry and Luna continued on looking for more. They found three more ninjas a short distance away. Two were already dead and one nearly so. Harry got to work on him while Luna searched the surrounding area.

"I found two more." she called back quietly.

Working together quickly, they got their patients transferred into the cabin. Tom expanded the infirmary, while Neville and Luna transfigured enough beds to hold all the new people, as they only had two with Nagato filling one. Luna opted to stand watch, just in case the battle began heading their way and they needed to move someplace safer, while the boys did their best to heal all the wounded.

 

Nagato raised his bed so he could watch everyone. The smell of blood and burning chakra hung heavy in the air, coating the back of his tongue. It made him think of his childhood in Rain, with Yahiko and Konan. Hiding in any safe hole they could find, venturing out only when they had no other choice, hoping to find food. He didn't have to ask to realize his Akatsuki, who had ventured so far from their initial desire to bring peace to the Elemental Nations, were responsible for the line of battered, wounded men now groaning all around him. These foreigners were strange. They had put the same dedicated effort into healing him as they were now doing for these Cloud ninjas--something nearly unheard of amongst the ninja villages. No one would bother to waste supplies, chakra, or the expertise of a healer on someone not theirs--but they did, and acted like it was perfectly normal and expected. He hadn't been mistreated in any way, beyond having his chakra sealed--something they'd only done after they'd apparently regrown one of his eyes, and taken away the damage done to his body on that long ago day when his best friend had killed himself on the knife he'd so foolishly picked up. He lowered his bed back down and carefully rolled on his side to face the wall so he wouldn't have to watch anymore. He'd brought such suffering to the world when he'd only ever wanted to make it better. It was a hard realization to swallow.

 

 

"It's over?" Yuugito said hesitantly.

"Where'd the snake freak go? He just vanished…along with his summons." Roshi agreed.

"He looked surprised. Whatever happened, I don't think it was by his orders." Utakata added, still looking around warily, as were the rest of them.

The smell of ozone, and a crackling shriek that sounded rather like a flock of chirping birds, and then the battlefield went silent. As the smoke cleared, they could see the Leaf nins across the way. The shark man was bound in golden chains, which Naruto released, allowing the man to fall to the ground. A hole through his chest, about the size of a man's arm, left little doubt as to the cause of death.

Everyone regrouped, still looking around warily for any signs of the return of Kabuto and his massive snake summons, or the creepy people he popped out of his belly snake, but all was silent.

Sakura was already moving to check on the few regular Cloud shinobi on the edges of the battlefield that had been fighting some of the giant snake summons, to see if any of them were in need of healing.

"I can't believe Harry-nii and the rest of those guys! They didn't come help out at all!" Naruto grumbled, outraged.

"They're not actually shinobi." Yuugito reminded him. "They really have no place on a battlefield like this."

"You guys are their friends though! And I know they were worried about you when we realized Akatsuki was here! I'm gonna go give those guys a piece of my mind!"

"It's not like we actually needed their help." Sasuke pointed out as he finished cleaning his sword and put it away.

"It's the principle of the matter!"

Everyone turned to look when Luna wandered out, looking around curiously. Kakashi rose, with Kisame's body sealed in a scroll and looked at her as well. Her gaze flicked over everyone quickly, assessing their health, then focused on Sakura who was healing one of the two regular Cloud nins. She headed towards her, ignoring the rest of them, only to halt halfway to her and crouch by some flowers that had been trampled by the battle, making a sound of dismay. She gently lifted them and ran her fingers lightly over the stem, the leaves and the petals, until it looked whole and undamaged once more. She then patted the flowers like one would the head of a small child and continued on her way. She spoke quietly to Sakura, then seemed to create stretchers out of nowhere beneath the wounded men, which rose to follow her when she stood. Sakura trotted after her, helping steer the second stretcher, and they vanished into the depths of the cabin without another word.

"I have a sneaking suspicion that your friends weren't simply hiding somewhere or standing idle while we fought those men. You should perhaps find out before you decide to yell at everyone." Tenzo chided.

Naruto nodded and set off determinedly towards the cabin. He could hear the sound of voices coming from the infirmary, so strode over to peek inside, only to stop dead in horror.

The room was easily four or five times as large as it had been before, and rather than two empty beds and one filled, there were now at least two dozen beds filling the room. Harry, Neville, Tom, and Sakura were each working over one of the wounded. There were several beds beyond them with patients that had obviously already been worked on, as they were cleaned up, wearing plain light blue pajamas and sporting bandages and seemed for the most part to be sleeping peacefully. Beyond the four being worked on were another handful that hadn't been seen to yet--they were all sporting bruises and gashes and bloody clothing streaked with dirt, and each one lay under a thin barrier that seemed to be holding them in stasis until they could be seen to.

Luna was repairing the clothing that had been taken from the already healed patients, and then dumping it in a recess in the wall, where it disappeared. They each had a similar recess in their rooms. It took dirty laundry from there to the laundry room so it could be cleaned.

Breastplates, arm and shin guards, forehead protectors, and weapons, were all cleaned, buffed, and put neatly away at the end of the bed. In between this she brought potions and salves and bandages to the healers at work, and set up pitchers of water and glasses at everyone's bedside, hauled empty potions vials and jars that once held pastes and salves to the back room to be washed and reused, then cleaned and prepped the next patient in line each time one of the healers finished.

Naruto was dimly aware of the rest of his team and the jinchuurikis entering the room behind him and spreading out to watch the healers at work. The healers in question took no real note of them beyond a quick glance at them when they first arrived, as they were each too intent on the folks they were trying to save to worry about them overmuch.

Kakashi took gentle hold of Naruto's shoulder and steered him from the room after they'd all looked their fill, and gave him a light shove towards the stairs to go clean up.

B and Yuugito, who had both opted to return to B's house on the island where they'd been staying, returned after a little while to find the Leaf nins and the other jinchuuriki all looking freshly bathed, gathered at the kitchen table, which had expanded greatly in the time they'd been gone, and watching Luna who seemed to be gathering food for everyone. Yuugito turned to glance at the door to the infirmary when the four healers exited, all looking rather worn out. Sakura nearly ran into the three guys when they stopped suddenly at seeing what Luna was doing.

"Luna! You cooked?" Harry said brightly, though his eyes were a little too wild and his grin a bit too stiff to be genuine.

Luna turned to glare at all of them, though there was a decidedly sulky cast to it.

"I was going to reheat some stuff that was already made." she admitted grudgingly.

"I'm sure it'll be great, whatever it is." said Neville, his voice shaking just a bit in relief. Beside them both, Tom's shoulders were slowly unknotting from the primal terror that had struck all three of them when they'd seen Luna making food. Luna's pout deepened and the three guys did their best not to wince.

"Ha, ha. Best get cleaned up so we don't miss out!" Harry said cheerfully, high-tailing it upstairs. The rest followed hot on his heels, even Sakura, who couldn't help but feel she'd just escaped a terrible fate.

Yuugito patted Luna's arm in sympathy. She'd seen that look before--the last time she'd tried cooking, actually. It was a terrible blow to one's feminine pride to have men flee the room when they saw you anywhere near a stove.

"I'll help you get everything ready." she said staunchly, glaring at B when he eyed her warily. He'd been doing all the cooking since she'd been staying with him _"Well, after the first night, anyway."_ she thought to herself with a wince.

Girls had to stick together under such trying circumstances.

 

The healers reappeared, freshly bathed and dressed in loose, comfortable clothing, a short while later and all four sat and began devouring everything within reach with rather single-minded focus while the rest of the ninjas watched wide-eyed at the spectacle.

"All of you alright there?" Kakashi asked idly.

"Just took a lot out of us." Sakura replied once she'd slaked her hunger. "You have to understand…every single patient in there was right on the verge of death. They all would have died had they" she indicated the wizards "not grabbed them and slapped those stasis barriers on them when they did. Frankly, it's a miracle we didn't lose a single one, beyond those that were already dead before we arrived. Half the energy for healing comes from the healer and half from the patient. For small wounds, it's no problem. When you have so many so badly off, it begins to add up quickly. We were damned lucky we had so many available to work on them. We were able to heal all of them completely rather than just patch them up enough that they didn't immediately die and hope they held on long enough for us to restore our energy levels so we could do more."

"I see."

"I want to know where the hell the snake guy vanished to. He just disappeared while we were fighting him, along with all his summons." Roshi grumbled.

All the bijuu were feeling a bit put out that they didn't get a chance to put an end to the guy trying to end them, and it was making their hosts irritable as well.

"He did? Oh. I wonder if that was Nagini's doing?" Tom mused rather proudly.

"Who's Nagini?" B asked curiously, snagging what was left of the food once the healers descended.

"My pet snake. She met another snake that told her he could take her to the sage lands to train when she expressed an interest. I told her to mention that guy and that he was making them all look bad since he was running around as a snake sage and trying to end the world. I guess they decided to do something about it."

"Hopefully they'll put an end to him, but he's proven to be both sneaky and highly resilient before, so I won't hold my breath on the matter. Unfortunately." Kakashi sighed.

"At the very least he probably won't have snake summons if we run into him again." Sasuke offered.

"That's true, and will definitely be a help in subduing him should there be a next time." Tenzo nodded.

"Thank you for the food." Utakata, who was clad in a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt while his kimono was being laundered--borrowed from Tom, said politely, patting his stomach when he finished. "I'm going to be quite spoiled by the time we all part ways."

"Aren't we all." Sakura agreed cheerfully. "I plan to fully enjoy it while it lasts."

"Now that we're all clean, fed and rested, we should probably discuss what our next move is." Kakashi interjected.

"I think we should go somewhere new. Akatsuki found this place once already." Tenzo opined. "Kabuto may still be out there."

"What I don't get is how. We had a barrier up to keep anyone from sensing us." B admitted.

"Simple. They didn't look for you, they looked for the turtle. At least, that's what I would have done in their place." Tom offered. "I'm going to second going somewhere new. When the others are done healing and resting up, they can put the barrier back in place and stay as a decoy in case they come looking again. We can put up an anti-sensing barrier at the new location. If no one knows we're going there, no one will know to look for us there."

"We can't just leave though." Yuugito began. "I think it's a great idea. Let's do it!" B said at the same time.

"B!"

"You get to go on missions. Brother keeps me tied to the village or I get to come here. I'm ready for something new! Let's go!" B continued undaunted.

"It's fine with me." Utakata offered.

"Same here." Roshi agreed.

"We seem to have a majority so far. Anyone have a different suggestion?" Kakashi spoke up.

"Nah. Let's go somewhere new. It's all the same to me. I was getting kind of bored of the Valley of the End. I mean, it's cool and all, but there's only so long you can stare at those giant statues and speculate on the First Hokage's sex life." Naruto shrugged.

"Idiot." Sasuke sighed, sounding long-suffering.

Sakura, face bright red, spluttered in embarrassment. "You've been spending too much time with Jiraiya-sama! Don't speculate about your ancestors that way!"

"Or mine." Sasuke agreed.

"I still say mine was a perfectly valid interpretation of the known facts." Tom sniffed.

"Moving on…" Kakashi sighed.

"Oh come on, you're curious too." Luna teased.

"Not really. I've read every one of Jiraiya-sama's books. I'm pretty sure he answered the question in Come Come Paradise. The Third hinted as much once. The Founding Era was a wild time by all accounts."

"Oh? Do tell." Luna said in interest. Kakashi's one eye twinkled as he handed over a small orange book.

"I recommend page 185." he said cheerfully.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura gasped.

"Oi, Kaka-sensei! Don't be giving Runa-chan dirty books!" Naruto growled as well.

"Rather tame. There aren't even any pictures." Luna said in disappointment.

"Ooh, a slightly risque double entendre, how bold." Neville snorted. "Nothing explicit, no props, no roleplaying, no kinks." he added sadly as he read over her shoulder.

"Cleavage is showing." Luna reminded him.

"Shocking." Harry snickered.

Kakashi twitched and fell over. Luna peeked over the table at him and then made a victory sign, which set the rest of the wizards to laughing.

"What were we talking about again?" Naruto wondered.

"Uh…going somewhere new." Sasuke replied absently, staring at his downed sensei.

"Just what sort of books do all of you read?" Sakura asked in bemused horror. The wizards just laughed harder. "Medical journals. People do weird things to themselves sometimes. It's hard to be shocked by stuff after that." Harry admitted, wiping tears from his eyes.  "Well, that and helping Barty clean out Lestrange castle so we could turn it into headquarters for the company. I got quite an education that day. They had some weird, weird stuff there."

"I just borrowed Seamus' porn collection." Neville admitted.

"Rowena Ravenclaw was a collector of naughty woodblock prints. The house still has copies of her collection. For historical purposes of course." Luna said with serene aplomb.

"I grew up in an orphanage during the Depression. We were right down the street from a bordello and not far from the docks." Tom shrugged.

"So…going somewhere new. Does anyone have any suggestions." Roshi asked, trying to move the conversation along.

"We were planning to visit the ruins of Whirlpool. We could still go there." Naruto spoke up.

"A little close to Mist for my liking, but they probably won't actually be looking there." Utakata agreed. "It's probably not a bad place to go."

"We're all agreed then?" Tenzo asked. Everyone ignored Kakashi when he slunk back into his seat, still looking a bit dazed. "Alright, we'll give everyone a chance to finish healing and resting up and then we'll move on."

 

 


	7. A Gathering in the Land of Whirlpools

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto begins gathering yet more friends (both old and new) so they can begin making plans to end the threat to the world. A surprising discovery is made, Naruto and Harry both get introspective.

Haku Yuki glanced up as a beautiful white owl soared across the sky, then dove right towards him, landing on the window sill with a thump. He spotted a message attached to one of the owl's legs, which it helpfully held out so he could more easily reach it.

"You're beautiful." Haku murmured, stroking the feathered breast lightly once the bird had settled. "Is that message for me? Strange. I'm pretty sure we don't use owls for messenger birds."

"What've you got there, Haku?" Momochi Zabuza, Mizukage of Mist Village asked idly from where he was lounging at his desk.

"A message. Just a moment." he said distractedly as he untied the missive. "Oh." he said in surprise once he'd finished.

"What's up?" Zabuza demanded, seeing the odd look on Haku's face.

"It's from Naruto. He and the other jinchuuriki have all gathered together to do training so they can all be perfect jinchuuriki."

"Yeah, the Hokage mentioned that at the summit." Zabuza nodded.

"They have the two and eight tails with them now as well. They were attacked by Akatsuki while the summit was going on. They have the three tails with them as well. They need a new host, and it apparently requested me since they gave it a choice…"

"What." Zabuza said flatly. "Where they hell'd they find the three tails?"

"It was in a lake somewhere. His name is Isobu, apparently." Haku interjected.

"They have the three tails and they're just going to give it back to us?" Mei, Zabuza's wife, said incredulously.

"Apparently." Haku nodded. "As it is Naruto who sent this message I choose to believe he's sincere."

Zabuza sighed and nodded as well. "Yeah. He's a weird kid. He probably would do that." he agreed.

"It says this message will act as transportation once triggered so I can join all of them. They've apparently sent a similar message to the headman of Waterfall and to the Tsuchikage as well to find new hosts for the five and seven tails once they're rescued. It will be nice to see Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura again." Haku concluded with a serene smile. "I should go pack. I don't know how long I'll be gone." He held an arm out for the owl. "Come along, lovely. I'm sure you're hungry and thirsty. Was it a very long journey?"

"PRECK"

Mei watched Haku leave and turned to Zabuza in dismay.

"You're really just going to let him go who knows where with these people?"

"It's fine. We know them. In fact…they're sort of indirectly responsible for me coming back and becoming kage."

"They are? How?"

"Well…"

**Four years earlier**

_Kakashi let himself relax as Zabuza fell. His chakra was draining at an alarming rate, as it always did when he unleashed his gifted Sharingan eye. He was still on his feet mostly through sheer willpower. He tensed warily as a new figure dropped into view and lifted Zabuza. He wore the uniform of the Mist Village Hunter nins. The figure tensed, about to leap away with Zabuza in his arms, but several golden chains erupted from the ground and wound around Zabuza and the new figure, holding them in place. Kakashi's vision was going grey. He tried to hold on a little longer. He couldn't leave his team here unprotected… Kakashi collapsed with a thud, the immense chakra drain just too much for him._

_"Kakashi-sensei!"_

_"Please allow me to go free, shinobi-san. I have a duty to my village to secure this missing nin." the hunter said tonelessly, his voice echoing strangely from behind his wooden mask._

_"Go ahead." Sasuke gestured._

_"Yes, hunter-nin-san. You're free enough to do your duty." Sakura chirped._

_"We can wait." Naruto agreed._

_The hunter-nin tensed, clutching Zabuza to him. He made no move to remove his head or destroy his body._

_"Can we drop the charade now? Kakashi-sensei and Zabuza are both down for the count. There's no real need for us to keep fighting. Why are you working for a creep like Gato anyway? We've been questioning Tazuna-san since we ran into those Demon Brothers, and that guy sounds like a real piece of work." Naruto demanded._

_The hunter-nin's shoulders dropped, and he removed his mask, revealing a young, sweet, innocent face._

_"In truth, I am not happy to work for such a person…but my loyalty is to Zabuza-sama, and we have already accepted the mission. We need the money so Zabuza-sama can make his dream a reality. We have no choice but to see things through."_

_"Yeah, except you've failed." Sasuke pointed out._

_"Yeah, you're our prisoners." Sakura agreed._

_"What's his dream?" Naruto asked suddenly. "What do you need money for so badly that you'd work for such a person?"_

_Haku studied them all in silence for several minutes, before slumping in resignation._

_"Zabuza-sama led a rebellion against the Mizukage. He had grown mad and cruel and was slowly destroying the country and the village. People like myself with bloodline limits were being hunted like animals and slaughtered in the streets. Assassination squads were being sent out to wipe out Mist ninja for suspected treason, with no good reason. No one was safe. It was a very dark time. Zabuza-sama gathered others who wanted to put an end to the dark cloud hanging over all of us and led a rebellion. It failed. He and all of the troops he'd gathered who were still alive fled and became missing-nin rather than submit once more to the mad Mizukage. We need the money to try again, to hire more troops to help us retake our village and free it from the clutches of that cruel, heartless dictator!" Haku said passionately._

_"Tell you what… help us get proof of Gato's misdeeds, and we'll let Zabuza go."_

_" **Na-ru-to.** " Sakura warned. _

_" **Hn!"** Sasuke agreed. _

_"I know what I'm doing. You heard him. They're not bad people, they're just in a bad position." Naruto defended._

_Haku glanced down at Zabuza, closed his eyes and bowed his head in submission, and nodded._

_"I accept."_

_The golden chains unwound from Haku, while keeping tight hold of Zabuza._

 

"That bastard Gato wasn't planning to pay us. Haku overheard him bragging to his thugs that they could have a crack at us once the bridge builder was dead and collect the bounties on us. They had to give him a cut. What a cheapskate that creep was. Anyway, Haku found evidence, so he knocked out all the thugs and Gato, grabbed what money he could--which was a lot, and traded info on his deals in Fire Country for me, then we gathered up everyone and came here." Zabuza concluded.

"I see. I guess I owe them thanks for bringing you back to me, after _everything that happened._ " Mei replied, eyebrow twitching.

"Geez, babe, it's been years. Are you ever going to let it go?" Zabuza groaned.

"You LEFT ME at the ALTAR because you decided to rebel RIGHT BEFORE OUR WEDDING and were too busy fleeing for your life to drop word that you weren't going to be showing up!"

"I came back." Zabuza said weakly.

"You did." Mei concurred after a moment. "You just don't understand. You were gone and I was left looking and feeling like a fool."

"I get it. You were pretty weird when I first came back. I was pretty sure you'd lost your mind or something." Zabuza grunted.

"What was that, _darling?_ " Mei demanded, eyebrow twitching again.

"I love you?" Zabuza offered.

Mei sighed and settled herself on his lap, curling around him like a sleepy kitten.

"Just don't do it again. Or at least take me with you next time." she grumbled.

"Sure thing, babe. Though let's hope we don't have to flee the country again. I'm the Mizukage this time. That'd be pretty embarrassing." Zabuza snorted.

"I'm ready to go. I guess I'll be seeing you when I'm done." Haku announced as he returned with a travel satchel over his arm.

Mei hurried over and embraced him, kissing him on both cheeks, while Zabuza contented himself with ruffling his hair.

"Stay safe, train hard, return to us." Mei ordered.

"Ditto." Zabuza shrugged.

Haku smiled. "Sanctuary." he said clearly. He was gone in a swirl of rainbow light.

"I hope these people are on the up and up. I'll kill anyone who harms a hair on that boy's head." Mei said fiercely once he was gone.

"Nah. It's a bunch of tree-hugging Leaf nins. It'll be fine."

"Who held you prisoner."

"And let me go." he reminded her. "And anyway, Haku is both smart and strong. He'll be fine."

 

 

"Leader! You called for me?"

"Ah, Aki, yes. I have a special mission for you." Shibuki, leader of Waterfall village nodded.

"Really? Wow, what is it? Rescue a princess? Save a country?"

"Not quite. Do you remember Naruto? He and team seven from Leaf came and helped out our village that one time?"

"Sure! He was super cool!"

"Well, he asked me to send someone to him for special training. If you complete it you'll be really strong and be a hero to the village."

"Wow, really? Cool! When do we start?" Aki demanded, stars in his eyes.

"This here will take you to the training ground when you say the word written on it. Go pack for a month, since we don't know how long the training will take. Say your goodbyes. When you're ready, say the word while holding the card tightly. You'll meet Naruto on the other end." Shibuki ordered.

"Alright! I won't disappoint you sir! Thank you for the opportunity! Can I ask though… why me?"

"You were the most suitable candidate. Run along now."

"Okay! Thanks again sir!"

"Please don't mention it."

His assistant waited till Aki was out the door and out of earshot before inquiring.

"What was that about?"

"The seven tails has been found. A group known as Akatsuki took Fū and ripped the bijuu out of her. She's dead."

"I'm sorry, sir."

"They're apparently after all of them. Naruto is the container of the nine-tails and always has been. He and some others are doing special training that should make all of them perfect jinchuuriki and keep them stable. They need a new host for Chomei when it's rescued from the keeping of Akatsuki." he explained.

"Chomei?" "The seven tails. It apparently has a name. They all do. Naruto was quite insistent that we remember it, so that in the future both the bijuu and its host will have a better relationship with the village."

"I see. Shouldn't you have told Aki that he was being sent off to be a demon container though?"

"Why burden him? If the training works correctly, it should be fine. If it doesn't…well, isn't it better to let him be happy for a little while longer?"

"I suppose."

"Aki's a good kid. I'm sure it'll be fine." Shibuki sighed.

 

 

"Damn it old man, would you just make a decision for once in your life!" Roshi growled.

"Watch it, shinobi." Oonoki, Tsuchikage of Stone, warned.

"It's a simple thing I'm asking! We just need a new host for the five tails once we rescue it! It's not that hard! We need one trained up and ready to go so we can destroy the statue afterwards so this will never be a problem again! We've talked about it and we're pretty sure we all need to be perfect jinchuurikis before we do that, or the bijuu who are still linked to the statue and not their host will die if we do, which is why the Sage didn't do that in the first place. We need a host now so they can complete the training so we can end this. It takes time and can't be rushed, so the sooner the better. The longer you take to make a decision, the longer we're all in danger. Just pick someone already!"

"I'll do it."

**"Kitsuchi!"**

**"Dad!"**

**"Son…"**

"I've made my decision. Someone needs to take on the duty. It might as well be me." Kitsuchi said calmly.

"I didn't agree to this!" Oonoki protested.

"Roshi-san is right. The sooner this threat is dealt with, the better for everyone. I'll do it."

"Glad to have you on board, Kitsuchi. Son Goku seems to think Kokuo will be pleased." Roshi nodded, satisfied.

"Who?" "Son Goku, the four tails. Kokuo is the five tails and your future partner. Remember the name."

"I see."

**"Kitsuchi…"**

"Dad, enough. I've made my choice. I'll return when the deed is done."

"Finally." Tom sighed from his place at the rear of the room where he'd been sitting quietly while the very lengthy argument had raged on. "Let's not waste any more time. Please grab hold."

**"Dad…"**

"I'll be back soon." Kitsuchi assured his daughter.

"This will be a little disorienting. Start walking when you feel it slowing down."

Kitsuchi eyed the length of rope curiously, but grabbed hold along with Roshi and the stranger that had arrived with him. They disappeared in a swirl of rainbow light.

"Be safe, son." Oonoki sighed. "Kurotsuchi, Akatsuchi, gather the task force leaders. We have a terrorist organization to find." he ordered.

"Hai, Tsuchikage-sama."

 

 

"Temari-chaaan! Kankuuuro!"

Temari turned to look and frowned for a moment in confusion.

"Naruto?" she questioned, staring at his hair.

"You and Gaara are going to be sporting matching hair now?" Kankuro said in long-suffering tone of voice. "You gonna dress alike next?"

"Huh? Oh, right! You know, I totally forgot about that! No, it's not actually the same, it's Uzumaki red, not Gaara red. I told my friend Hari that I was tired of being the only one without it, you know? My sister and my cousins and my new uncle who was stolen as a baby from Whirlpool and was evil for a while but isn't anymore all do, but not me, so he gave me my mom's hair. He gave me a haircut later, obviously. So is Gaara around? I need to talk to him."

"You know what, I don't even want to know." Temari decided. "My brother is in his office. He's not busy at the moment. You can head right up."

"Thanks! I probably won't see you again, since I'm a clone, so bye! It was nice seeing you both again!"

"Bye."

"See you."

"Naruto again?" Elder Chiyo muttered. "One of you need to apprise your brother of the realities of being a kage. He's expected to produce an heir at some point. He can't exactly do that if he's always wandering around the desert with that Leaf nin looking at the cactus blooms."

"Can't you do it?" Kankuro groaned desperately. "Elder Chiyo?!" he yelped when she suddenly slumped over, dead.

"Elder, we know you're not actually dead. You can stop pretending. I'm not giving my little brother _the talk._ It's the job of elders to instruct the young, so I'd say it's _your_ job not ours." Temari said firmly. "Or, you know, make your brother do it."

Chiyo cracked one eye open to see if they'd back down only to find them both staring at her with flat, uncompromising faces.

"I'll make my brother do it." she finally relented. "You two are awful brats, you know that?"

"Yep." the siblings said cheerfully.

"Hmph. Kids these days!"

 

 

Kakashi wandered downstairs, stifling a yawn. He could smell breakfast and hear the sounds of people talking down below.

"Morning." he said absently as he took a seat. He froze a moment later when he realized only a few of the faces at the table were ones he was expecting.

"Kazekage-sama…how unexpected." he said with a dry sigh, eyeing Gaara.

"You didn't expect us to leave him out did you?" Naruto asked, indignant.

"Another Mist-nin?" he noted, eyeing the vaguely familiar pretty-boy on Naruto's other side.

"That's Haku, remember? Zabuza's apprentice!" Naruto said cheerfully.

"And you are?" Kakashi sighed.

"Aki of Waterfall, sir!" the young boy, who looked to be about twelve or so said excitedly while wriggling in his chair like an eager puppy. Gaara eyed him in bemusement and patted his head.

"You?"

"Konan of Rain." the blue-haired kunoichi with the cold eyes said as though it should be obvious.

"Nagato-san." Kakashi addressed the last surprise addition to the breakfast table.

"Kakashi-san." Nagato nodded politely.

"Konan-san and I will be overseeing his physical therapy." Harry informed him as he set down another platter of food.

"Alright! Just in time for breakfast!" Roshi said expansively as he, Tom and another new addition, this time from Stone apparently, all came in through the door.

"Welcome. You are?" Neville asked.

"Kitsuchi."

"Nice to meet you Kitsuchi-san. Pull up a seat." Luna said with a smile.

_"The Kazekage, the Mizukage's apprentice, the co-leader of Ame and the Akatsuki…and now the Tsuchikage's SON just to round things out. Lovely."_ Kakashi thought to himself in despair.

Kakashi watched as Toma embraced Hari from behind and leaned his forehead against his shoulder. Hari ran his fingers through his hair as they whispered together. Kakashi shook his head. Naruto was still convinced Hari and Runa-chan were probably dating, as he seemed to be willfully blind towards any evidence to the contrary, even though those two made no attempt to hide what they were to each other. They were so nonchalant about touching each other in public. It made him really wonder what sort of dissolute sexual paradise these people lived in.

The rest of the group began clattering down the stairs in ones and twos, only to halt in confusion to see the kitchen table was already packed and had been enlarged again, this time into an 'U' shape as they'd run out of hallway, so they'd moved the living room furniture out of the way. The atmosphere at the table started off very stilted, but Naruto and the visitors were friendly and expansive and held no village grudges, and chatted with everyone easily, drawing them out of their shells. It helped that all the ninjas, barring Gaara and Aki, now had at least one other person from their home village in the group. It seemed to relax them.

In less time than he ever would have thought possible, the atmosphere eased and talk flowed easily around the table. It was nothing heavy, of course, nor anything that touched on village secrets--just talk of hobbies, favorite foods, movies and books and things of that ilk. It was still more than could usually be expected from such a group. They were shinobi, they didn't do casual inter-village breakfast, that's not the way their world worked…and yet, here it was, happening right in front of him because Naruto saw the opportunity and grabbed on to it with both hands. Without consulting him or Tenzo about it. They obviously needed to have a long talk about the chain of command and why one needed to respect it. _Brat_.

 

 

 

Whirlpool was beautiful. It wasn't very big; if you were up high enough you could see practically the whole island. If not for the blasted ruins that marred much of the landscape, it would be a paradise.

Naruto crouched at the top of the rugged hills overlooking the bay that had once been the center of the hidden village, and tried to imagine what it had looked like when it was still whole and new. It had probably been breathtaking. Even in ruins the village was impressive.

There were still partial remains of graceful arched stone bridges that had once spanned the bay, connecting the two sides of the village that formed around it. Though faded and broken, the remains of red roof tiles, and partially intact roofs let him imagine what it once must have looked like.

Cheerful stone houses had once ringed the bay and climbed up the steep slopes surrounding it. Colorful mosaics had once decorated the paths and some of the walls. Cheerful fountains had once burbled in the square. Once, there had been many Uzumaki, as well as a dozen other clans peopling the village streets, not just a handful of orphaned castoffs clinging together in a village far from the place of their people's birth.

The island looked, smelled and sounded so different from Konoha. The salty tang of the ocean scented the air and overlaid the humid smell of green, growing things. He could taste the salt on his lips, smell it in every breath he took. The dull roar of crashing waves provided a constant background music to life on the island, accompanied by the harsh, lonely calls of seabirds circling overhead. Naruto had been born among the towering forests of Konoha and loved every inch of the village of his birth…but he couldn't deny that sitting among the ruins of his family's origins left something inside him aching and homesick.

It was a colorful place. Bright splashes of orange, yellow, red, blue, and purple flowers nestled in the odd corners and crannies, while equally colorful birds, fishes and reptiles flitted among the greenery and among the waves. His beloved bright orange and blue jumpsuit that he'd worn everywhere as a kid would have blended in here in a way it never had back in Konoha, which held a palette of greens, browns and tans.

Child of the forest he may have been, but it seemed his heart had always followed the call of the sea, though he'd never known it until now.  He spotted Nagato down below, seated on a large flat rock overlooking the bay. To judge by the look on his face, Naruto wasn't the only one feeling that way.

Naruto gazed along the length of the island from his lofty perch on the hill and created a hundred clones.

"Spread out, take a good look around. Search every corner."

"Sure thing, boss!" a hundred identical Narutos cheered, before leaping away in a huge red and blue wave.

Once the clones were gone, he sighed and got ready to meditate some more. He really needed to get moving. He'd started first, but Gaara had already opened two gates before heading back to Sand before anyone noticed he'd left a clone behind. Haku was actually further ahead that he was, even though he'd been among the last to start. Roshi, Utakata and he were neck in neck. Yuugito and Kitsuchi were just behind them. Heck, even Aki was breezing right along. There was no way he was going to let anyone else finish first!

 

 

"What are you doing?" Sakura asked curiously after watching the visitors for several minutes.

"We're making an outdoor oven in the sand here to cook up all the seafood we gathered." Neville explained. "We do this during the summers on the beach near Harry's summer house and make a big party of it. I don't know if it’s the steam or the seaweed, but it always tastes better cooked like this than just throwing it all in a pot on the stove."

The pit in the sand was lined with stones at the bottom, all of which were radiating heat. They were layering dripping wet seaweed and covering it with shellfish and then putting another layer of seaweed then more seafood. The whole pit was covered with a layer of canvas that had been soaking in the ocean while they worked, and then that was covered over with sand, sealing the pit and trapping the heat inside.

"It won't be ready for a few hours yet, which is why we wanted to get it done now, so we could leave everything to cook while we explore." Luna explained once they'd finished.

"I've never seen that done before…but then I've never really spent much time by the ocean or at the beach." Sakura admitted. "Nor do we really eat much seafood. It looks…interesting." she added dubiously. She wasn't real sure about tonight's dinner…some of the "seafood" looked like giant bugs to her, and didn't seem all that appetizing.

"It's all tastier than it looks." Neville laughed. All of them turned to watch as Isobu, Haku and Utakata sped by, dancing across the waves and sending glittering arcs of water at one another. They could only be glimpsed for a moment here and there as they had called up mist to wreathe the area, and it hung still and ghostly across the waves, but for the spots where the whirlpools that had once given the country and hidden village its name sat. They seemed to be having fun, looking like ghosts themselves as they flitted through the fog.

Sakura turned away from the playing Mist nins and bijuu and turned to look across the bay. "They're still at it, huh?" she commented wryly.

Harry, Sasuke and B were sword fighting--Harry and Sasuke in the usual way, while B was demonstrating his own unique style which involved him using multiple swords at once--held under one knee, in his mouth, in both hands and under his arms while he hopped around on one foot, and spun in all directions. It was a strange, unorthodox style that seemed like it really shouldn't have been as effective as it was, but B somehow made it work for him.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei." Sakura greeted when she spotted the man heading towards them. He had been with Tenzo, Tom, and Harry, Neville and Luna's clones prowling through the ruins earlier. "You alright, sensei? You seem…"

"Aa." Kakashi acknowledged. "It's a melancholy sort of place. My clan was originally from Whirlpool, you know." he admitted.

"They were?" Sakura said in surprise.

"I didn't know that. I knew my clan originally came from here…well, I knew after I mentioned Naruto being an Uzumaki and how we'd found out he'd once had a clan. They were merchants, primarily. My branch of the family moved to Konoha shortly after the founding to establish trade, and intermarried with the clans in the village, while the main branch remained here. We're all that's left now. None of them seem to have made it out of Whirlpool when it fell."

"That's more or less what happened with the Hatakes. We were never numerous, but after three great ninja wars and the fall of Whirlpool there's just me left. There are others with the same story. Your Iruka-sensei from the Academy for one. The Uminos were a Whirlpool clan, as were the Shiranuis"

"Like Genma-san?"

"Mmm. Teuchi and Ayame's people were originally from Whirlpool as well, though neither of them ever lived here."

"Teuch… oh! The Ichiraku ramen people?"

"Indeed. According to Teuchi, ramen was actually invented in Whirlpool." Kakashi agreed, sounding amused.

"That doesn't surprise me. I think the Uzumakis in the village give them the majority of their business… and I've seen Iruka-sensei, and Genma-san there a lot as well… and because of Naruto you and I both end up eating there more than we probably should as well." she laughed.

She looked around at the parts of the island she could see with new eyes.

"It's so strange, isn't it, to think so much of all our families' history is tied up in this place that none of us have ever been to before." Kakashi just nodded.

A distant explosion brought everyone to their feet in alarm.

"It's okay!" they could hear Naruto's sheepish voice calling down from the top of the mountain "That was just one of my clones touching something they shouldn't have!"

"Na-ru-to!" Sakura groaned. "Eh? What's Toma doing?"

Tom had popped off to the top of the mountain where Naruto was seated. As they watched, Naruto made another clone, then the two of them headed off on the carpet towards the site of the explosion they'd just heard.

"I would think it was obvious. He's going to investigate. Live traps usually mean something hidden in the area that the trap setters don't want you to find if you aren't authorized. The ruins here have been picked over pretty thoroughly. Anything left to find on this island is probably wherever those explosions went off." Luna explained.

"Hey Kaka…. Eh? Where'd Kakashi-sensei go?"

"He probably had the same idea Tom had. He took off towards the explosion the moment we all glanced at Naruto." Neville spoke up."Our clones too." he pointed.

She looked over and saw a Runa, Nebiru and Hari clone racing off after the carpet with Toma and Naruto on it. When she saw Sasuke break off from the sword fight so he could go too, she growled and took off after him. "Don't leave me behind!"

"Then run faster!" Sasuke taunted over his shoulder before vanishing into the distance.

 

"Here?" Tom asked as he sent the carpet down.

"Yeah. Right over there. You can see the scorch marks if you look real close." Naruto agreed.

"Hmm. Quiet a moment and let me work." Tom ordered, drawing his wand.

He scanned the seal inscribed on the stone pillar and then began walking slowly around the courtyard waving his wand in sweeping patterns while Naruto watched. Kakashi landed beside him a few moments later, lifting his headband to watch, though he soon made a frustrated face and put it back down like he always seemed to do when he watched any of the wizards at work. Harry, Neville and Luna's clones landed a moment later, soon followed by Sasuke and Sakura.

"What's he doing?" Sasuke wondered.

"Looking for more traps and scanning the area for hidden caches." Harry replied absently.

Tom finished circling the courtyard, then began doing a sweep of the ground, and then the remains of the statue that had once stood in the center.

"Ah ha." he said, sounding pleased. He tapped the base of the statue with his wand, then stood back as bits of stone and rock dust began separating itself from the ground and fitting itself back together. In a few moments later it was whole. In the center was a seated figure with his eyes closed, the sun in one hand and the moon in the other, who had a spiral on his forehead like a third eye. Tom mostly ignored the time-reverse miracle he'd just performed as he slowly circled the fountain, still scanning. "Hmm." he hummed waving his wand in a different pattern.

"What's he doing now?" Sakura wondered.

"He found something. He's getting more information." Neville told her. "Ah ha. I think I've got it. Naruto, there needs to be four of you." Tom said triumphantly. He directed the clones the first made to stand by different seals around the courtyard that were cunningly hidden as part of the mosaics that filled the walls all around.

"On the count of three, all of you touch them at the same time and we'll see what happens. Ready? 1, 2…3!"

The clones all touched their designated seals, pressing a small bit of chakra into each. There was a rumble underfoot and then an Uzumaki spiral lit up on one of the flagstones surrounding the statue and began to rise up out of the ground, then shift aside to reveal a staircase heading down into darkness.

"Cool! What is it?"

"You'll have to go down to find out." Tom told him, peering into the hole.

The clones exchanged a look and hurried over. The stairs and walls began lighting up with softly glowing seal work as the first descended, lighting the way.

"There are more rooms. Do you know of any other clans with ties to this place?"

"Oh! Me! Let me try!" Sakura said excitedly, raising her arm like she was answering a question in school.

"What's your clan symbol?" Tom asked.

Sakura turned and showed him the circle on her back.

"Hmm…Let me see… Ah, here we go. Alright, yours only requires two of you. One there and one over here." he directed her.

Sakura made a single clone and hurried into place. "Go!' she told her clone. A different flagstone lit up with an empty circle and rose from the ground. Sakura cheered and hurried over to take a look, her clone right on her heels.

Kakashi scratched a symbol on the ground. "Is there one like this?" he asked.

"Give me a moment… Yeah there is. Three seals for you."

Tom directed him to the proper spots after he'd made two clones, and there was soon another flagstone moving, this time with a diamond filled with squares. Kakashi stood at the opening for a long moment, before steeling himself and heading down. The Uzumaki and Hatake vaults were quiet, but everyone could hear giddy shrieking coming from the Haruno archive from Sakura and her clone. The rest of them exchanged a look and settled down to wait.

"Just out of curiosity, how many more archives are there?" Sasuke wondered.

"There's eight altogether." Tom counted.

"Kakashi mentioned three or four people back in Konoha whose people were from here originally. I wonder if any of them can get into the rest?" Neville wondered.

"Eh, I'll copy down the symbols on each archive. I'm sure someone can tell us if they match any known clans back there." Tom shrugged.

Sakura was the first to emerge. Her eyes were sparkling, and she kept a tight grip on the satchel full of scrolls she had with her.

"So? Anything interesting?"

"Haruno clan secrets are not for outsiders." she told Sasuke with a sniff, before squealing and bouncing on her toes in excitement. "I've ALWAYS wanted to be able to say that! HA! Take that, clan boy!" she announced while pointing at Sasuke dramatically, and then throwing her head back and cackling.

Sasuke, wide-eyed, backed away from her.

Kakashi emerged next, hands in his pockets. He didn't seem to have anything.

"It wasn't empty, was it?" Sasuke asked in dismay.

"No. I sent everything off with my summons to look at later." Kakashi assured him. As he stepped out of the archive, they realized he did have something. There was a tanto strapped around his waist that hung crosswise on his lower back.

"That's all you kept? You don't usually use weapons beyond kunai and shuriken." Sakura said curiously.

"I used to have one like this that belonged to my father before me, but it got broken. I'll have to get a different harness for it as I'm not used to drawing it from here." Kakashi explained, drawing the tanto out. It blazed with white chakra when pulled from the sheathe. "I'm going to have to practice with it a bit. I haven't regularly carried a blade since I left ANBU, and I haven't carried a chakra-conducting blade like this since I first became a jounin." he added, pushing the blade back into its sheathe.

The open archives each closed as the people they belonged to stepped out and the clan symbols faded, leaving ordinary looking flagstones behind. It was another half hour before Naruto appeared, and only one of him at that. There was a small, innocuous looking scroll strapped to his belt, and that seemed to be it.

"Did you send the contents away with your summons too?" Sakura asked.

"Nah. This is everything that was in there." Naruto assured her, patting the scroll.

"Just that? What took so long then?"

"I had to pack it first." Naruto told her.

"Can't have been much if it all fit in there." she said as she possessively patted her satchel and bundle of much larger scrolls.

Naruto's smile was a bit mocking, but he didn't correct her.

"Have the rest of your clones found anything else of interest?" Tom asked as they all piled on the carpet for the trip back.

"A lot of really pretty places, a lot of neat animals, a lot of ruins." Naruto shrugged.

He'd found bleached bones mostly buried in the silt and greenery in a couple of places. He'd found rusted kunai, shuriken and swords. He found forehead protectors from Mist and Cloud and Stone scattered across the landscape, intermingled with ones with Whirlpool's spiral. He'd found the remains of civilian homes shattered and burned and all but overgrown in the years that had passed. He'd found several mines that had been hidden by barriers, illusions and seals that his clones were now exploring and testing out earth jutsus in. He'd found hidden temples and hidden docks deep inside the mountains. He'd found broken dishes and jewelry and children's toys. He'd found several mostly rotted chests that held clothing in bright colors that could only be seen in spots as the rest was faded and slowly rotting as well. He'd found hints and suggestions of a whole culture and civilization that had been laid low when they were ganged up on by three other ninja villages.

This entire island was a graveyard that was slowly being reclaimed by nature, a graveyard that held generations of his family and their homes and their dreams. He had all that was left of them, the whispers of his ancestors, packed away in layers that fitted into one tiny scroll that looked like nothing, but held their collective knowledge and skill, carefully preserved so there would always be a legacy for whoever came after. He had an ache in his chest and a weeping wound in his heart and knew that from this moment on he would always long for the taste of salt on his lips and in his lungs and the sound of lonely seabirds crying overhead… It was too much and too little all at once, and he had no words to really convey that. The rest of his clan would understand, and he would share it with them perhaps--they were all of them orphans cast adrift in a world that coveted their blood and their power and their knowledge and saw them as tools to be used, abused and thrown away at the same time. He would speak of it to them but no one else.

He side-eyed Hari when he leaned into his arm and squeezed his shoulder briefly. He seemed to understand without him needing to say anything…but then he was an orphan cast adrift as well, wasn't he? He too had gotten a vault in exchange for a family when he'd returned to his point of origin, just like he had--and unlike himself, he didn't get a sister and a couple of cousins and a lost uncle to soften the blow. Real Naruto said as much to him when the carpet landed and the clone dispersed after handing off the scroll.

"I didn't get a blood sibling, but I got my godfather, my two godbrothers and a godmother. I got several aunts and uncles--some honorary, others are actually cousins that are the parents of classmates. I have a LOT of cousins. Some of them are quite distant, but they count and they're good friends as well. I'm doing alright these days, so don't worry. We both are, really. Don't get so attached to the past that you forget that the present is pretty good…" Harry's clone trailed off thoughtfully.

"Hari?"

"Sorry. I think I had an insight about the seventh gate. I have to think about this some more."

"Uh…okay?" Naruto said uncertainly.

Harry smiled and dispersed. Naruto shrugged and figured if it was important, Hari would tell him later. For now, he had a decision to make.

He found Nagato and Konan walking slowly along the beach, her arm steadily supporting him. He'd been crippled for so long he got tired out quickly, though he was slowly increasing his strength and flexibility. Both Hari and Konan seemed optimistic about his chances to be shinobi fit with continued work, but it still remained to be seen.

He recalled again how he'd recognized the same lost, homesick feeling he himself had been feeling on Nagato's face, and from there the decision was easy to make. It was his legacy too. He wasn't going to deny it to him.

Decision made, he set off to see if his uncle wanted to go through the Uzumaki archive with him.


	8. Brother my brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry raises the dead, Naruto and company meditate, Kakashi learns some shocking information.

Harry finished walking the perimeter of the clearing he'd found and tied off the last of the temporary wards he'd just set.

The jinchuuriki and assorted others were all busy meditating under Neville and Luna's supervision. Tom was still prowling the ruins. Everyone was likely to be busy for a bit, which had given him the perfect opportunity to slip away when no one was looking.

He wanted to talk to Madara Uchiha. He still had the feeling he could add to the story they'd put together about the ten tails trying to fix itself, but he was certain Madara could fill out the parts they were missing. Well, he could if he was actually dead. If the guy in the mask was Madara like he'd claimed nothing would happen.

The fact that the Rinnegan eyes were in Nagato's head not the masked man's led him to believe it wasn't him, but he could be wrong. Either way, he had the feeling the guy held the key to the questions he had.

The urge to talk to him had been growing since he'd first seen his statue in the Valley of the End, and it had only grown more nagging with time.

He hadn't wanted to do it where any of the others could wander across him. People always looked at you weird if you sat around talking to thin air, and only the holder of the ring he had could see any spirits called back. He knew Tom would be annoyed at him for leaving him out, but he figured he could always show him in the pensieve later. He was having fun crawling through the ruins and he didn't want to interrupt that.

Harry seated himself comfortably and dug the ring out, turning the stone three times while concentrating on the soul he wanted to call.

_"Madara Uchiha…"_

His first inkling that he might have made a terrible mistake was when a ghostly coffin began to rise from the ground. He definitely knew something was wrong when the coffin solidified, and he felt a tremendous build-up of energy inside it. His wand was in hand, layering shields in front of himself without him even having to think about it. The coffin lid exploded, and he felt the impact against his shield through his whole body.

Harry stayed crouched down, dimly able to make out a figure through the dust and wood splinters, with wild black hair in red armor stepping forward out of the coffin.

The figure halted, one hand beginning to reach out as he choked "IZUNA?!"

Harry eyed the man warily, while slowly dropping his shield and climbing to his feet.

"The name's Harry. Who's Izuna?" he managed to get out before the man seized him by the chin and searched his face.

"You don't really look like him…though your hair is the same." Madara mused.

Harry put a self-conscious hand to his hair--spiky mess on the top and sides, long ponytail in the back.

"No Uchiha ever had green eyes. Why do you feel like him? Are you his son or grandson?"

"I'm not a Uchiha. I'm not even from this world. Unless I was him in a past life, I'm not the guy you're looking for. I mean…it's not like I'd know. No one remembers stuff like that. Well, not really. Some people claim to see parts of it. I suppose it's possible. I have a counterpart in this world, and with the whole diamond soul thing, I suppose there's no real reason facets couldn't go from world to world… though if you can't, then I suppose technically Shikamaru would have been that guy, but because we're of the same essence it sort of carries over or something? I don't really know how that would work…"

Madara crossed his arms. Though he seemed to be trying for nonchalant, he was obviously somewhat grieved at the mistaken identity.

"You certainly ramble like he used to when he was tired. Have you not been getting enough sleep?"

Harry blinked in bemusement. When he imagined what the famous warlord of the Warring clans era was like, nowhere in the list was it that he was a mother hen.

"Sorry. I've been sleeping fine." he added after a beat. "So…tell me your life story."

"I don't really have time to be…"

"You're dead, remember? You've got nothing but time."

Madara huffed a bit, but he settled himself on the ground without too much argument. "Very well. It seems we're having story time." Madara grumbled.

Harry had only just gotten himself comfortable when the world rippled around him, and the peaceful meadow became a muddy, churned field, filled with clashing armies and the screams of the wounded and dying. The air was filled with smoke, and there were fires burning everywhere.

"I was born in a time of total war…"

 

 

"You know…I just realized I haven't seen Hari-kun all day." Sakura noted.

"That's 'cause he's busy over that way. Hari-nii summoned a dead guy with crazy hair and armor that popped out of a coffin. It's weird, he looked sort of familiar." Naruto answered absently.

"He did an Edo Tensei? Who'd he sacrifice?" Kakashi asked in horror. "And just when did this happen?"

"Huh? A while ago. You know, I just realized! That guy looks like crazy hair guy at the Valley of the End, but Sasuke was right…they didn't get his hair right. Huh. Glad that's solved."

"He did an Edo Tensei on _Madara Uchiha?!'_ Kakashi yelped.

"If whatever that is requires a sacrifice to work, I can guarantee that isn't what he used. I had a feeling he was planning to call back his spirit to ask him some questions.  He kept staring at his statue at the Valley of the End.  If someone else already bound and raised him, he just got the lot instead of just his spirit." Tom disagreed.

"What are they doing?" Tenzo wondered.

"Sitting on the grass and staring at each other. I think they must be talking to each other in a genjutsu, 'cause they've been doing it pretty much the whole time that Madara guy has been here."

"Huh. Well…so long as he's just sitting quietly… Naruto keep a clone on watch to give us warning if that changes." Tenzo ordered.

"Yes. Please do that. My father told me stories about that guy. I have absolutely no desire to cross paths with an immortal version of him." Kitsuchi agreed fervently.

"I want to meet him." Sasuke said, sounding sulky.

"It is possible to strip an Edo Tensei of its personality. We don't know yet if he's calm because he has his own personality and is calm, or because he has no personality and no orders regarding Hari-kun and so isn't attacking. We should find these things out before making any plans for anyone else to talk to him." Kakashi warned.

"Hang on." Tom sighed, staring intently at the wall.

"Please excuse me for a moment." Harry interjected.

Madara huffed, and crossed his arms, as the scene around them froze.

A doorway seemed to open in mid-air and Harry went to it, to meet the new figure standing on the other side. Tom raised an eyebrow.

"Story time with big brother." Harry said with a grin.

They touched hands and something passed between them. Tom sighed and shook his head.

"Only you. Have fun."

The doorway closed again and the scene resumed.

"Who was that?" Madara asked, while most of his attention was on Harry and Aang flying among the Fire Nation navy at the battle of the north pole.

"My boyfriend. He was just checking up on me." Harry explained.

"Oh?" Madara said in interest, turning back to give Harry his full attention. "How long has this been going on? How did you meet him?"

Harry just looked at him incredulously. Madara just stood there, hands on his hips, one foot tapping impatiently as he raised a very unimpressed, judgmental eyebrow.

"We haven't gotten to that part yet."

Madara's chakra was massive, overwhelming, and all around him, had been since the start of the genjutsu, but how it felt at rest and how it felt when his, apparently overdeveloped, protective instincts were out in force was a very different experience. If Naruto felt like a small, friendly sun, Madara felt like a hurricane full of fire and lightning. It should have been terrifying, but Harry realized that it seemed terribly familiar… He felt safe…and exasperated…and there was a huge ache growing in his chest that took him quite off guard. Harry didn't know what his face looked like, but Madara went from intimidating interrogator to fussy mother hen immediately.

"What? What is it?"

"I missed you." Harry realized. "I've missed you all my life and I didn't know it until just this moment."

Madara looked stricken, like he'd just taken a fatal blow to the heart.

"I failed you again. I left you alone." Madara said quietly.

"I did it first. If I hadn't none of that" he waved his hand to indicate the life of Madara via genjutsu the two of them had watched before Harry offered his own life story in exchange. "might have happened. It's my fault that thing got hold of you!" he realized with mounting horror.

"The failure is mine. Just one more to add to a very long list."

They were in a genjutsu, so none of it was real…but it felt real enough at the moment. Madara felt solid as he wrapped his arms around him.

"Somehow, some way, we'll destroy the one who hurt you and fix this. When all this is done, you're coming with me."

"We won't be brothers." Madara noted.

"No. My parents in this life died when I was a baby… but it doesn't matter. I'll find you. I won't let you be alone anymore."

He could feel Madara shudder under his hands as he embraced him in turn. Harry hugged tighter. "I promise."

 

 

"He has a personality and they're currently exchanging life stories" Tom informed the room. "Also, Harry might possibly have been Madara's younger brother in a previous life, because of COURSE he is. Harry thinks that may be a large part of the reason he's so calm and willing to talk. He said from his story there are definite signs of him being influenced though Madara is resistant to believing it. He'll check in later when he has more information."

"Ah. Okay then. Fair enough." Kakashi nodded. "I guess the rest of us just carry on in the meantime. How far has everyone gotten?"

"I'm starting on the fourth." Yuugito said with muted pride.

"I'm all done." B said cheerfully.

"I've begun work on the sixth." Haku spoke next. Roshi and Utakata nodded to show that was where they were as well.

"Third." Aki said cheerfully. "Same here." Kitsuchi admitted, sounding embarrassed.

"All I've got left is the seventh." Naruto admitted, but I don't know if I'm supposed to open it or not. Harry-nii said he might have had an insight about it, but he never explained what he meant."

"He explained it to me." Tom spoke up. "He thinks we might have been wrongheaded in not even trying to open the seventh. They don't stay open unless you're still and quiet and meditating. He thinks we can open the gate and experience it and when we're done meditating, it will close and metaphorically bring us back to earth when it does. You can only truly remain detached if you're just meditating all the time like the Guru does, and none of us will be doing that. The entire journey is about casting off the negative attachments in your life that hold you back, it's not about letting go of love or the people who are important to you, it's about being able to care without it being destructive and to love the rest of the world as well. He was going to try it, and the rest of us decided to do so as well. It's been a bit of an annoyance, really, keeping it closed and never even trying to open it. The journey wants to complete once you've started on the path, and we kept going almost to the end and turning away."

"I think I actually did open it once, but it went away once I stopped meditating and so I wasn't sure. I didn't stop loving my friends and family or become detached from the world around me the way we've all been thinking. It gave me distance enough to put my troubles with my parents and my past in perspective and let it go. Somewhere along the line we all got it into our heads that it would be something different than it actually is and so we held back from finishing the journey. If you like, we'll hold off from trying it until everyone's ready to do so, and we can all do it together." Neville spoke up.

The jinchuuriki exchanged glances and nodded.

"All of us at once. Yes. That seems fitting." Haku agreed with a gentle smile. "We must remember to keep tabs on Kazekage-sama to be sure he isn't left behind."

Naruto made a clone who gave the original a mocking salute before vanishing with a flash.

"There. When he's ready, my clone will bring him back, and we'll be able to keep in contact with him as well." Naruto announced.

"Fair enough. Let's get back to work. Naruto, keep watch on Hari-kun and let me know the moment anything changes." Kakashi nodded.

"Will do."

 

 

Harry rubbed his head tiredly. Between the long-ass genjutsu they'd used to exchange life stories and then the long-ass talk they'd had afterwards to convince Madara that yes he'd been a little crazy, seemed to have been possessed, and that no, genjutsuing the moon to create a dream-world to ensure world peace was not the plan of a rational mind, Harry could admit he was exhausted.

He understood, he did. Madara was trapped with the consciousness of the Ten Tails in control of him for at least fifty years, twisting his mind and stoking his negative emotions into a toxic stew for all that time. That would be hard to let go if, even if only because it was so ingrained. He understood, but damn if it wasn't annoying talking him through it and convincing him that the 'Eye of the Moon Plan' was most probably to ensure everyone was insensate so the Ten Tails could eat them at leisure and get its chakra back.

He felt bad for Madara…and Nagato, and that poor kid the plant men brought along to be Madara's replacement. Half of each of their lives had been wasted in thrall to that thing--but Madara's life was so much longer than theirs, it just seemed extra horrifying.

Thank goodness for the Sharingan's perfect recall--not that it had done Madara much good while he was still alive or mostly alive with that thing in control. He hadn't really been able to be introspective or look at his memories with anything like a clear mind. It was only now, free of Hashirama's cells, free of the consciousness, out of the cave, that he could really look at his life with a bit of outside perspective and see how far off the rails he'd gone.

"You know…it's curious that anyone would bring me back like this." Madara indicated his unaltered Edo Tensei body. "The only ones who should know where to find my remains to raise me thus would be Obito and Zetsu. Why bother raising me like this, as I was when I died the first time? I had access to the Mokuton and the Rinnegan when I died the second time, and it isn't like being obscenely old would hinder this body the way it would a living one."

"The fact that I was able to call you like this says to me that your soul was summoned and bound, but whoever set up this ritual hadn't been ready to call you forth yet. Maybe they were planning to do something to you before calling you forth? I really couldn't say. I suppose if that Zetsu thing that seems to be the consciousness' host now thinks Obito will make a good jinchuuriki of the Ten Tails in order to enact the eye of the moon plan…maybe you were just called up to be cannon fodder and help them capture the remaining bijuu now that most of the Akatsuki members are either dead or out of commission. I just don't know." Harry shrugged.

"Well the laugh's on them if they were truly stupid enough to try to use me in such a disgraceful fashion. I seized control of the technique the moment I realized what had been done to me." Madara scoffed with disdain.

"Yeah? Cool." Harry nodded, impressed.

"Of course. I made sure to figure out a way to counter it the moment Tobirama created this immoral jutsu. I had no intentions of allowing him or his descendants call me up at will to be their personal attack dog for the whole of my afterlife." Madara said with a scowl. "That bastard. Bad enough he killed you. If I had ever seen him calling you up in this form I'd have killed him, Hashirama or no Hashirama."

"To be fair, it was ongoing warfare between the clans for generations. If he hadn't of come up with a trick to kill me, sooner or later I'd have killed him… and truthfully, I seem to have fared alright all things considered. I actually got to experience the peace all three of you dreamed of while you were trapped in a cave for decades and Hashirama and Tobirama fought in more wars trying to keep the village safe and afloat. Any bitterness I might have felt about it all is gone. It was another life for me, remember." Harry said gently. "And in this life, the only war I experienced was one I chose to involve myself in to help my friends and to seek a bit of adventure. I had the leisure and naiveté to think of it that way because I didn't grow up in a time of total war this time. I've also been to several worlds and had a chance to study history. It's all rather broadened my perspective of things. Any bitterness you still hold for my death or towards Tobirama, please let it go. I'm okay." Harry assured him, squeezing his hands. "In fact, I should apologize for the part I played in things. Hashirama was right there, still trying to get you to agree to peace while I was bleeding out. If I'd been smart about things, I'd have made him give some surety of his good intentions, you know like healing me, instead of telling you to never trust them and then giving you my eyes so you could keep fighting them. I know you felt guilty agreeing to the peace treaty with them afterwards. You fought their whole clan for three days, and only agreed because that idiot tree man was going to commit suicide and trust everything would go fine afterwards. You know, actually I kind of felt bad for Tobirama during that whole thing. Did you see his face?"

"Not at the time, no. I was concentrating on Hashirama and wasn't paying much attention to him. When I told him I'd only be able to trust him if he killed his brother or himself…" Madara grimaced.

"He really looked like he believed Hashirama was going to just lop off his head to make you happy. If positions had been reversed…"

"Neither you nor I would ever have spared a moment of worry that the other would turn on them." Madara nodded. "Given what he said to me as he was killing me…"

"That whole bit about how he'd kill anyone who threatened his village, be they his friend, his sibling or his own child? Yeah. That was pretty messed up. With that kind of attitude, it's sort of no real surprise that that creep Danzo was hunting Uchihas decades later and trying to wipe them out because he decided they were a threat to the village. Apparently the day all that happened, Shisui was going to report that he'd run into a guy from Mist with a Byakugan eye, but never got a chance because Danzo attacked him. Chances are, if things had played out just a little differently, he'd have been plotting to wipe out the Hyuga clan next because of it, because obviously it must mean they were plotting against Konoha. Naruto told me there's an obvious weakness to the seal they use on their branch house members--it only destroys the Byakugan if it's in their head when they die and the seal goes off. It does nothing whatsoever if the eyes are stolen while the person is still alive and then killed afterwards." Harry snorted.

"I never liked that practice myself. In fact, I recall both Tobirama and I spoke out against allowing them to continue it while in the village. Hashirama overruled us both and brushed off our concerns about how it could be abused, and would interfere with the chain of command." Madara grumbled. "I think I stopped offering opinions sometime after that."

"And it helped fuel your belief that you'd made a terrible mistake in bringing the clan in to Konoha." Harry guessed.

"It was certainly a factor." Madara agreed.

"It was foolish of him to disregard your concerns…especially given you and Tobirama agreed on something. That should have been a red flag right there." Harry laughed.

He grew quiet when he saw the pensive, melancholy mood Madara seemed to have lapsed into.

"Let me guess? Hashirama? It always seems to be him with you." Harry sighed.

Madara averted his gaze, obviously embarrassed to have been caught mooning.

"It's alright. I get it. Things ended badly and you feel bad about that, but at the same time there were issues that never got resolved and you're still a bit resentful because of it, but you also feel guilty about that because of how things went, but you can't just make yourself not feel that way, and you sort of miss him but also sort of don't… Does that about sum things up?"

"Hn." Madara grunted.

"Well…I can call him up the same way I did you. If he hasn't been reborn or gone on to the Pure Land you should be able to talk to him. You'll have to hold the ring. Normally only the person with it can see the spirit called up. That's why I'm way out here by myself. I didn't want everyone to think I was crazy. You coming like this was a surprise." Harry explained. "Hashirama Senju…"

"You were saying?" Madara said wryly as another coffin began to form.

 

 

"Uh, hey. Hari-nii called up another coffin. I'm pretty sure it's the First Hokage this time. My clone just gave me an update." Naruto announced.

They all waited to see if there were more updates. A few minutes passed and then Naruto frowned.

"What? Are they fighting?" Kakashi asked tensely.

"Noooo…." Naruto replied with a smirk "Hari-nii got mad at the First about something and yelled at him. He pointed at him and started yelling and the First started scrambling backwards and waving his arms trying to ward him off" Naruto demonstrated "but Madara just grabbed him by the back of his shirt and pulled him back like a naughty puppy." he cackled. "When Hari-nii calmed down he left them there alone, though he glared at the First before he left and pointed at him all threatening-like when Madara wasn't looking." He stopped as he got another update. "Hari-nii came and talked to my clone. He's on his way back. He's giving them a chance to talk over their issues while he updates all of us on what he learned. They're behind a barrier to keep anyone from sensing they're there, and he told them to go out on the ocean if they want to fight so they don't accidentally kill us all."

"Accidentally…? Just how strong are those two?" Sakura demanded.

"Well…Harry-nii said they're not as strong as they were in life, but they're still stronger than most other ninjas he's encountered and when they were alive they had to redraw the maps every time they fought each other." Naruto shrugged.

 

 

"So…that boy…" Hashirama said leadingly.

"Izuna's reincarnation, who is not named 'needle'. He wanted to be clear on that. He grew up speaking a different language than we do. It means 'home protector' or 'army commander' in that language, which he thinks sounds much more impressive." Madara replied with a small smile.

"You've been reunited with your brother! How marvelous! He really shouldn't be doing this immoral jutsu though…" Hashirama said mournfully as he looked down at the cracked porcelain shell that was his reanimated body.

"It's YOUR brother that does immoral jutsus, not mine" Madara growled defensively. "He just wanted to talk to me. All the rest came as a surprise. Someone else did this."

"Oh. I wonder if it was that snake man again. He resurrected me and my brother before to try to make us destroy Konoha. A nice Uchiha boy genjutsued him into releasing the summon before we were forced to."

"Yes. Itachi, who is 'super awesome' according to Hari. He's the Hokage now." Madara said with a small bit of pride. He may not have been able to be the Hokage, but one of his descendants was, and the clan was still alive, safe and well. He found that, surprisingly, this pleased him a great deal though he'd lost faith in their village a long time ago.

"Really?! Well good for him! A fine replacement! I take it that means that Saru is dead?" Hashirama said sadly.

"Yes. The snake man experimented on himself and had learned to hop bodies and regenerate from even fatal wounds. He called the Shinigami to seal his soul."

Hashirama's face grew grim and mournful. "I see."

Madara just nodded and tilted his head up to look at the spectacular view on the horizon. The sky was painted in rainbow hues as the sun descended, and the breeze smelt of salt and green leaves.

"It's been a long time since I saw anything but darkness with my own eyes. I was so very lost that even I didn't realize quite how lost I was." he mused quietly.

"Madara? I can't help but notice you seem much…calmer than you did the last time we saw each other."

"When you stabbed me in the back and told me you'd cut down anyone, even your own child if they threatened YOUR village you mean?"

"You brought the nine tails along to crush the village and bit a chunk out of my arm." Hashirama reminded him.

"You could have still stabbed me from the front like a friend! You know how much I hate people being behind me!"

"Oh…right."

"You forgot?! How could you forget such an important thing?"

"Important to you maybe…I always just thought it was weird"

"YOU ASSHOLE"

"Sorry. That was insensitive, wasn't it?" Hashirama said sheepishly as an almost visible cloud of gloom descended around his head and he slumped in place.

"Haven't you gotten that thing fixed yet, you bi-polar bastard! Stop getting depressed for no reason!" Madara screeched, pointing a flailing hand at the slumped-over man "and while I'm on a roll, what is it with you putting faces on every cliff you see?"

"The Hokage monument you mean? I told you about that before…" Hashirama asked, confused, his depression disappearing as quickly as it arrived.

"NO! Those monstrous statues where you killed me!"

Hashirama slumped to the ground, the gloom cloud much more oppressive.

"You didn't like it? I meant it as a memorial to our friendship."

"You put me in a stupid outfit and got my hair all wrong!"

"I'm sorry."

"STOP GETTING DEPRESSED!"

"Please forgive me."

"I guess I should be glad you didn't give me a bowl cut as well, you fashion disaster!"

"Are you still on about that? It's been like, a hundred years!"

"It was that offensive!"

 

Hashirama laughed lightly.

"How nostalgic. For a moment it was like we were children again."

The smile slowly died on his face, until he was staring up at Madara, serious and mournful.

"Do you still hate me?" he asked hesitantly.

Madara froze and crossed his arms, looking away from his old friend's sad face.

"I don't hate you, Hashirama. I don't know if I ever could, not really."

"What happened to us, Madara? I spent the last years of my life wondering if it was something I did and I never understood why."

"Ah…well…I may have been possessed for most of my life." Madara admitted.

"Possessed?" Hashirama said slowly. "You were… but what…how?"

"I can't deny all responsibility. It was my bitterness, my rage. I lost faith in myself, and in you, and our dream, and it seems the thing used that against me. Hari-kun made a good case for it…and given how my life went, it seems rather obvious in retrospect, though at the time… I had already known I'd been a failure all my life. I just didn't realize how great of one until now." Madara laughed brokenly.

 

 

 

"So…you called back Madara Uchiha and got an Edo Tensei." Kakashi said pointedly when Harry finally reappeared.

He taken his time coming back so Madara and Hashirama would have time to talk before the rest of the ninjas tried getting in the middle of things.

"Pretty much. You already knew that though. I called back Hashirama Senju as well. They're talking right now. They have a lot of issues to work through. They're probably going to be a while. They tend to get rather ridiculous when they're together, so it will likely take some time till they work around to dealing with anything important."

"Why didn't you call back the Second Hokage as well? I'm sure you realized the implications of the other two being in that form. If the First was raised, the Second surely was as well. Kabuto was Orochimaru's apprentice, and Orochimaru had tried to raise the two of them before to destroy Konoha."

"Madara asked me not to. He wanted a chance to talk to Hashirama without him getting in the way." Harry shrugged.

"Perhaps you should call him now. If Kabuto is still alive and readying Edo Tenseis to take the place of the lost Akatsuki members, I'd rather they were here on our side than left on theirs." Kakashi ordered. "We're in the midst of compiling a list of others for you to call as well, people we think are likely candidates for the jutsu. Anyone who hasn't been bound thus you can send back."

"Alright. Hold on."

The whole group gathered around to watch. A ghostly coffin began to rise up in the center of the group and solidified. The sensors among the group could feel the person inside working their chakra, but unlike Madara's explosive entrance, the coffin lid simply fell forward and landed with a thud, kicking up a cloud of dust as it did so.

"Izuna? You're here as well?" Tobirama Senju, the Second Hokage of Konoha, said as he stepped out. His gaze fastened on Sasuke, and then he frowned. "You're not Izuna…" he realized, searching the rest, only for his gaze to land on Harry. "You're not either…but…"

"Possible reincarnation. Don't worry about it." Harry said blithely, waving a dismissive hand.

"Why have you brought me here?"

"To keep you out of someone else's hands mostly. Do the hand signs for the Edo Tensei jutsu and it should give you control of yourself. I'm not sure my calling any of you here is enough to override whoever did this originally should you be summoned." Harry told him. Tobirama frowned at him suspiciously, but he did as he said and then relaxed slightly.

"It seems to have worked. That was clever of you. How did you figure it out?" he demanded, eyes narrowed.

"I didn't. Madara did. He did it and told your brother to as well when he arrived."

Tobirama scowled and crossed his arms. "He honestly thought I'd bring him back when we finally got rid of him?" he scoffed.

"He couldn't deny the possibility and wanted to be prepared. No knowledge is ever wasted." Harry shrugged.

He eyed Tobirama in interest when his eyebrow twitched just a bit at his words.

"Let me guess. You said that to Hashirama when you first told him about this jutsu? You and Madara are a lot more alike than either of you realize. It's honestly a shame it never worked out that way. I have a feeling you two could have been great friends in another world." Harry said with some amusement.

Tobirama bristled indignantly. "I am nothing like that madman"

Harry's chakra spiked and his eyes blazed. "You shut your mouth, you asshole! He's not a madman! He's had a really hard time of things and I'm not going to stand here and let you badmouth him!" Harry growled.

Tobirama's eyes widened slightly, before narrowing as his chakra spiked as he got into stance as though ready to fight. The rest of the ninjas tensed and got ready to fight as well.

Madara suddenly descended from above and landed between them, glaring at Tobirama hotly, before turning his back to him and checking over Harry fussily to see if he was injured at all.

**"What did he do to you?!"**

"Ah, well, I might have lost my temper a bit. It's fine." Harry said sheepishly, wanting to derail Madara before he went on a mama bear rampage.

"Brother!" Hashirama said cheerfully, landing a moment later.

Tobirama turned his gaze away from fussing Madara and Izuna's reincarnation with difficulty to focus on his brother, only to frown when he saw Hashirama gazing at him sorrowfully.

"Tobirama…you know I love you, right?"

"What? Brother, what's gotten in to you?" Tobirama sputtered.

"Have I failed you as a big brother?"

"No! What is with you?" Tobirama repeated, trying to pry Hashirama off when he glomped him in a bear hug and seemed about to start blubbering all over him.

"Madara scolded me earlier. He said you really thought I was going to kill you that day when we finally made peace, and that for you to doubt me so much, even for an instant, that I had failed you and needed to reassure you!"

"Uh…what?" Tobirama said in flat disbelief. He put his hands together and spiked his chakra. "KAI!" He looked around and nothing had changed, but that Madara had calmed down and was now being introduced to the boy in the crowd that looked like Izuna. Hashirama was still clinging to him like a limpet.

"Not a genjutsu then. Am I in hell?" Tobirama asked rhetorically.

_"These are the strongest ninja of their generation?"_ Sakura muttered under her breath.

"Next time you complain I'm not behaving like a proper shinobi, I'm going to remind you of this." Naruto snickered in her ear.

She swung out to punch him, but he stuck his tongue out at her and dispelled before she could connect. Sakura pulled her punch before she could overbalance and looked around wildly.

"Wow. You're so mean, Sakura-chan!" Naruto whined from the other side of the circle they'd formed.

Sakura growled and leapt up, her leg cocked to deliver a devastating blow. Naruto dispelled again, and the rest nearby leapt away as she landed and smashed a crater into the landscape.

"NA RU TO!" she growled, looking around for him. "Get over here so I can punch you!"

"Aren't you always complaining that you're too slow? I'm helping with your training!" Naruto taunted from nearby, making a face at her, before leaping away, laughing. Sakura was hot on his heels.

"Would you two stop?" Sasuke complained. "You're going to destroy what's left of this poor country."

"Hn." Madara sniffed.

"Aa." Sasuke agreed.

Hashirama whimpered and sunk into another pile of gloom.

"Why is he suddenly depressed?" Haku wondered.

"I guess he speaks Uchiha." Roshi snickered.

"That girl…reminds me of Mito." Tobirama mused.

"She's a student of Tsunade, so perhaps that's to be expected." Kakashi informed him.

"Tsuna-chan? How precious! I must talk to that girl later." Hashirama chirped, cheerful again.

Kakashi glanced to the side when he noted Harry had made his way next to him while everyone was focused on the new additions and Naruto and Sakura's battle, and seemed to be striving to be inconspicuous.

"Kakashi? Can I speak with you a moment inside?" Harry said quietly.

Kakashi's gaze sharpened on him and he nodded, rising to follow him. A feeling of trepidation began filling his stomach as Harry led him towards the library without another word. When he entered the room, Harry was staring down at the memory-viewing bowl contemplatively and seemed to be debating with himself. He came to a decision and withdrew his stick to hold against his temple. As he pulled it away a strand of silver followed, which he dropped down into the bowl before turning to face him.

"I now know the identity of the masked man." Harry admitted quietly.

Kakashi's stomach clenched and ice water seemed to replace the blood in his veins.

"It's Obito Uchiha, isn't it?" he said back numbly.

His hands clenched at his sides and his one visible eye closed in despair when Harry nodded, compassion in his gaze. Kakashi gave himself a moment to wallow, before pushing everything to one side to deal with later.

"The thought had crossed my mind, briefly, after hearing Nagato and Konan's story. It had too much in common with what happened to my team, insofar as one member threw themselves on the other to commit suicide anyway. I dismissed it, because I was certain Obito was dead, but the thought never completely went away. When I came to afterwards, the Mist nins that had been chasing my other teammate, Rin, were all torn apart. She was still dead by my hand and I was covered in blood as though it had been raining down from the sky. I remembered Rin dying, Obito's eye hurting and then passing out. I had no memory of killing the Mist nins, and I was certain I hadn't done it, but I couldn’t imagine what else might have happened, because any shinobi that would do that wouldn't have left me alive. If it was Obito, and he arrived just in time to witness…" he trailed off sounding sick.

"None of it makes for easy viewing, but I thought you'd want to see what happened to him. It gets a little weird at the end, because Madara wasn't there, he dreamt of what happened though. Madara was trapped in a cave for decades incubating the Rinnegan eyes that thing was so desperate for so it could get its body back from its prison in the moon. They didn't form until he was about to die, but he wasn't allowed to. A tree made of the same substance the plant men are, sprouted from his back and kept him alive for another few decades until the thing found a replacement for him. The plant men grew off the tree that formed. They brought him Obito after he was hurt. Madara has a soft spot for children, and he was his clansman besides. The thing knew he'd be moved to try and help him, much like with baby Nagato when he gave him his eyes. It told him he'd been left on a battlefield with his eyes torn out. He turned off his Rinnegan and gave them to him and told the plant men to take him to a land without war and make sure someone found him to take care of him."  

Harry sighed tiredly, thinking back on what he'd seen earlier of Madara's life.

"The thing didn't have complete control of him, and needed to give him reasons to do things that wouldn't make him fight too much. He says he lost faith in Hashirama, but it isn't true. The thing was able to urge him to attack the village, to attack him full out, without him fighting back, because he never for one moment considered that he'd actually succeed in harming the village while Hashirama was there to protect it. He was able to go all out against him and even take vicious satisfaction in any blows he dealt because he expected him to heal from anything he could throw at him, and he was his rival as much as his friend. He bit a chunk out of Hashirama's arm, and even that didn't shake its hold on him because Hashirama was already healing even as he was pulling away. It wanted them at odds again, because when they weren't fighting, the thing lost most of its hold on Madara because Hashirama was the only thing that made him happy at all in all those years before he left the village. He was depressed and bitter and suicidal, and rather at loose ends. The only thing that kept him going was that Hashirama still wanted him around, and so he tried for him, but it just wasn't enough. He was busy and had a family and a whole life other than him." 

Harry's face twisted in guilt and sorrow. "When he wasn't around the thing managed to keep him brooding and twisted his thoughts, deepening his dissatisfaction and despair until he finally decided to leave the village. It took years before it succeeded. He left a clone behind to tell Hashirama he was going and that they were going to be enemies again. I think the thing knew if Madara was really there with him that Hashirama could have talked him down, would have finally noticed something was really wrong with him and tried to help, and it might have spelled the end of Madara's use as a pawn. After Madara left the village he stumbled around for a while, barely eating, sleeping or drinking. The thing doesn't need to, and it tends to overlook the fact that humans have needs like that. He was pretty out of it by the time he found the fox and headed back to attack the village. He used Izanagi to fake his death at the Valley of the end. He set it to resurrect him in three days so Tobirama would have a chance to carry his body back and do an autopsy first so he wouldn't be looking for him. When he rose up, he coughed up the chunk he'd bitten out of Hashirama's arm, stuffed it in the wound in his chest that killed him and stumbled off in a daze till he ended up in a cave far underground. He sealed the entrance and that was where he remained."

Harry shivered in remembered horror.  It had been bad enough for himself as a child, being locked away in the dark for days at a time--Madara had been locked away in the darkness for YEARS.

"Once Hashirama's cells started multiplying and bonding with his body, he didn't need to eat or drink anymore, so the thing more or less held him in a dream state for decades while waiting for the Rinnegan to form. I think when it grabbed Obito it was already planning how to have better control of him than it did Madara, because it had learned from its control of him that more needed to be done to make its control more complete."

Harry gestured to the bowl. "I'll let you watch it by yourself." he told him, squeezing his shoulder briefly as he passed by on his way out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Kakashi let out a shaky breath and wiped his clammy palms on his vest before venturing forward to peer into the depths of the bowl.

 

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Harry asked Tobirama as he passed him in the hall.

"Yes, I would say so." the white-haired man agreed. "Are you certain he isn't playing you?"

"Quite certain. The thing that possessed him is a manifestation of will, that comes from the very source of chakra, and has had at least a few centuries to perfect its technique. It has no chakra. There was nothing for his sharingan to fight against. It essentially turned him against himself, kept his negative emotions and worst impulses at a fever pitch… and this when he was already tired of living, at loose ends, and damaged from years and years of burning out his eyes to keep up with Hashirama and trying to keep the rest of the clan alive. He kept plodding along as long as he did because Hashirama wanted him there, but he had nothing to really hold on to, you know? Hashirama is a big picture kind of guy. After fighting so hard to keep him there, he kind of forgot about him when he was out of sight, because he still had a family and a life that didn't include him, a village to run, clans to woo. Madara was left out of all that, so he was just kind of existing and being tormented whenever Hashirama wasn't around, which led him to behaving erratically, which kept everyone else at arms's length. He was drowning for years and no one saw it or cared enough to try to intervene. He was just dismissed as a mad, brother-butchering, war-mongering mad man." Harry said bitterly.

"He had other things to hold on to. I know he had at least one child." Tobirama said uneasily.

"He was never part of her life. When he became clan head at fifteen, the elders pressured him to get married because they wanted him to pass on his sharingan. He was the strongest Uchiha by far and everyone knew it. He had no interest in getting married, but the elders wouldn't let it go, so he compromised. There were two women in the clan that had no interest in getting married either, as they weren't interested in men, and wanted one another instead. The elders had no intention of allowing such a thing--two wombs going unused? Unthinkable! So he told them to leave them be and let them do as they pleased and he'd father children on one of them, then everyone would be happy, end of story. It was a daughter. Sachiko and Emiko were her parents, for all that Madara fathered her. He'd done his duty, and that was that." Harry shrugged. "The elders weren't pleased at being thwarted in their will. They told Emiko, the one who didn't have a baby, that if she wanted to play at being a man, she was expected to join them on the field. She died in a battle about three years later. Sachiko blamed Madara for some reason. She really never let him see her, and he let it go because he wasn't sure what to do with a little girl anyway. So, no, he really didn't have even that."

"What of nieces and nephews? His sister in law? Was Izuna not married?"

"Izuna's wife died of a fever when the kids were still small, so her family was taking care of them. Her brother wanted to be clan head, but he wasn't strong enough to oust Madara. I suspect he's the one who spread the story that Madara murdered Izuna and ripped his eyes out for power. He took over when Madara left, then his son Kagami took over from him. By the time Kagami was ready to pass on the duty, his son was dead, and his grandson Shisui was a baby, so his nephew assumed he would be next clan head, and started swanning around with a couple of thugs-slash-bodyguards soon after his cousin died. Kagami apparently didn't like his attitude, and instead appointed Sasuke's father Fugaku to be the next clan head instead. Fugaku is Madara's descendant and his wife, Mikoto is actually Izuna's descendant, so Kagami essentially put the leadership back to Madara's line when he chose Fugaku to follow him. His nephew didn't take it well, and was apparently one of the ones agitating for a coup based on Danzo's misinformation and smear campaign after the nine-tail's attack. Sasuke and his elder brother, the boy who became the Fifth Hokage are Madara and Izuna's great-great-great grandchildren. Obito Uchiha, the masked man currently in the thrall of the ten tail's consciousness is as well, though he might also be related to the two of you, now that I think on it. His mother was of the Senju clan, but I don't know how closely related to you. Sasuke and Itachi have a Senju grandmother in there somewhere as well. Nagato, who was acting as the sort of visible leader of Akatsuki is Hashirama's great-great grandson, and Naruto the current nine-tails jinchuuriki is as well, a generation more as his mother was Nagato's twin sister. This entire mess seems to be a complicated family affair no matter how you look at it. It's kind of a mess." Harry sighed.

He checked the time. "I should probably get started on dinner…"

"I was just going to ask you about that." Luna laughed as she approached.

"Let's go see what we've got left. We're probably going to have to go hit the markets at some point. I wasn't expecting to host quite so many people."

Tobirama wandered after them, then busied himself looking at all the photographs that seemed to be hanging everywhere while they headed for the kitchen, meeting up with Neville who had just come in as well.

Luna put some music on while they started preparing ingredients and started singing. Neville and Harry grinned at her and came in on the chorus, and even did an impromptu line dance while prepping the food. This wasn't the first time they'd done this. The rest of the group had learned there was often a show to be had while dinner was being made.

Naruto, who had heard them from outside, bounced in laughing and joined them. He'd heard the songs enough that he knew most of the words by now.

Aki and Haku showed up not long after, as did B, who joined in after his customary complaints about how they really needed more rap in their lives instead of all the bouncy pop music they usually listened to. Yuugito wandered in a little while later and complied rather awkwardly when Luna dragged her in to dance. Roshi happily bellowed choruses. Utakata joined in to dance, but not to sing, which earned him a gentle smile from Haku. Nagato awkwardly joined as well when Naruto dragged him in. He'd kept a grip on Konan, who got dragged in as well. She did so with good humor.

They found themselves being enthusiastically clapped for by Hashirama when the song ended, who was beaming at all of them fit to rival the sun. Tobirama and Madara had nearly identical bemused looks on their faces, and even both stood with their arms crossed on either side of Hashirama.

Harry found himself wishing he had a camera, only to discover Tom had one out and was photographing everyone--including the rest of the Leaf nins and Kitsuchi, who were all grouped off to the side--Sakura and Sasuke pretending not to know any of them, and Kakashi, Kitsuchi and Tenzo all looking like the world didn't make sense any more.


	9. A movie, a battle, and a new uniform

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akatsuki is getting desperate and stages an attack on Suna, Madara gets a surprise visitor, Team Jinchuuriki gets some new threads.

"Um…what the hell is that thing?" Neville asked, eyeing the giant head that seemed to have grown on the beach overnight.

"King Enma. Madara told Nagato he should just call it up and let it chew on him for a bit rather than doing physical therapy. Harry-kun, for some reason, trusts his judgment, so he unsealed his chakra so he could.  Nagato's been getting frustrated with his progress, so he decided to try it." Konan answered, while she watched the Enma head and waited for Nagato to return, face taut with worry.

Her shoulders relaxed minutely when Nagato walked out steadily under his own power, didn't seem to be dead, and wasn't filled with piercings like Yahiko had been. He even had a new outfit that seemed to have been modeled on some of the scattered remnants of clothing they'd found while searching the ruins. He was clad in a greenish-blue kimono top with a darker blue wave pattern along the bottom and the edge of the sleeves, with darker blue pants and a matching sash. The bottom of his pants were taped down to the ankle, and he seemed to have opted for the thin-strapped sandals the Edo Tenseis were all wearing rather than the bulkier half-boot type sandals most of the rest of them wore. When he turned to dismiss the head, she could see an Uzumaki spiral made of waves that matched the patterning on the rest of his shirt on the back.

A vast wall of fire billowed out over the ocean and set the tops of the waves to steaming, thickening the fog Haku and Utakata had kept up to shield the part of the island where they all were. The three of them turned to look and saw it had been Sasuke. Madara was standing just behind him, arms crossed, looking like a proud parent.

"He's been teaching him all these really, really giant fire jutsu. Why?! We live in the middle of a forest! He's going to burn the village down. They're all pyromaniacs in the Uchiha clan! Grandpa! Uncle Tobi! Teach me giant water jutsu! The fate of the village depends on it!" Naruto wailed as he ran off to find the First and Second Hokages.

The two Uchiha turned to glance at him and grunted in unison.

"AAAAA!" Naruto screeched, turning to point a flailing arm at them "Don't be mean, you jerks!"

 

"What's Naruto shrieking about?" Harry asked absently as he consulted the list he'd been given for the next name.

"He wants to learn giant water jutsus so Sasuke doesn't burn down the village once Madara gets done with him." Kakashi replied.

"He threatened the…" Tobirama trailed off his angry tirade when Harry turned to give him the hairy eyeball.

"NO." he said quite firmly. "He's simply _bonding with his grandson_ and teaching him what he knows as he's to be the next _clan head._ "

Harry turned back around and looked at the next name.

_"Dan Kato."_

A coffin rose up. When the lid fell a pale-haired man stepped out, looking confused.

"Um…what?"

"You were raised up as an Edo Tensei by a group that wants to use you to help destroy the world. Do this" Kakashi demonstrated the hand signs "to take control of yourself from the caster of the jutsu as we don't know whether our summoning is enough to override the one who did this should he call you."

"Ah. Yes. I can feel the difference. What are you expecting of me now?" Dan asked warily.

"Well, if you can let go your earthly attachments you can end the jutsu and probably won't be able to be called again. If you are unable or unwilling to do that just yet, you can stick around in case we need you when the plant men eventually attack."Kakashi explained.

Dan frowned at the ground and then looked at his cracked porcelain hands thoughtfully.

"I had enough of war when I was alive. Even if it's to save the world, it's not really my place anymore… I need to speak to someone before I let go though. I regret my last words to her. As everything started going black, I realized she was going to blame herself, and might even feel like I blamed her for what happened. I should give her better words to hold on to since I can't be with her. I don't want Tsunade to blame herself for what happened. I had every faith in her abilities as a healer, but we're all just human in the end and you can't fix everything."

"Who were you to Tsuna-chan?" Hashirama asked, leaning forward in interest.

Dan glanced up and blanched when he realized who was sitting in front of him. "L-Lord First!" he stuttered, bowing. "I was Tsunade's fiancé."

"She chose well, it would seem. I'm sorry you two were parted too early." Hashirama said with a sad smile. "I hope I get a chance to see her as well before we go. I'd like to tell her I'm proud of her at least…though I do wish she hadn't picked up so many of my bad habits! She's going to get me scolded by her grandmother when I see her again!"

Dan sat down. "Please set my body somewhere out of the way. I should take advantage of having an immortal body while I have the chance." He laid down and rose up out of his body as a ghost. "I'll pass on your words, Lord First!" he offered before flying away.

"Waaah! Ghost!" they could hear Naruto shrieking in the distance.

"He's such a weird guy. A whole island full of zombie ninjas and he doesn't bat an eye. Sees one ghost and loses it." Sakura snorted.

Harry continued with the list.

"This is Naruto's father isn't it? Isn't he sealed away?"

"I was hoping your jutsu might be a loophole and free him." Kakashi admitted.

"Ah. Alright then. _Minato Namikaze._ "

Harry started as a giant figure with wild white hair and horns with a knife in its mouth appeared towering over all of them. The two Hokages shifted uneasily, but the rest of the living people there didn't react.

"Not a loophole I'm guessing." Harry laughed uneasily. "Nevermind!" He quickly released his call on Minato's soul and let out a shaky breath when the shinigami disappeared as well. "Is the Third on this list as well?"

"He's the next name." Kakashi admitted.

"Yeah. Not calling him." Harry said firmly, crossing both names off. "You're probably going to have to offer sacrifices in exchange to get them out. One for each of them. If you can manage it you can probably offer up Kabuto. I don't know who you could do for the second and I don't want to be involved."

He got to the last name, and glanced at Kakashi, who tensed but nodded firmly.

" _Sakumo Hatake._ " A ghostly coffin began to form.

"Well, I'm done for the day, I think. I trust you can finish briefing him on your own, Kakashi?" Tenzo said, as Sakura stood up beside him and signaled Harry to leave as well. Harry levitated Dan Kato's body to follow them.

"Yes" Kakashi croaked. Clearing his throat he tried again. "Yes. I can handle things from here." he nodded stiffly.

Tenzo and Sakura were already heading away, after Tenzo gestured for the two Hokages to come along as well. They rose, looking confused at the sudden exodus, but followed without complaining.

"What was that all about?" Tobirama demanded once they'd gotten out of earshot.

"Kakashi's father. He committed suicide when he was a kid. He's the one that found him." Sakura explained grimly. "I doubt Kakashi-sensei wants an audience for their reunion."

"Ah. I see." Hashirama said sadly.

They all headed towards the shore where most of the resurrections and jinchuuriki had gathered. They seemed to be watching Haku, Utakata and the Three Tails dragging a net through the water to catch fish to supplement their dwindling supplies. Neville and Luna had a tub of seaweed covered in seawater awaiting use in their beach pit oven, which was currently heating up in preparation for tonight's dinner.

Hashirama looked around at the people, living and dead, representing so many nations, all gathered there together in (relative) peace and couldn't help the warm, fuzzy feelings that welled up in him.

"You know…we have a tremendous opportunity here!" he said expansively.

Tobirama and Madara both glanced at him questioningly, as did many of the rest of the resurrections.

"Some of us lived quite long lives and had a variety of experiences to draw on, and with a bit of questioning we can see what long-term repercussions of some of our decisions and policies were--something the living aren't always afforded. We should pool all that knowledge together for the greater good of the world! What do you say? We should have a world peace conference while we're here."

Tobirama glanced to the side when he saw Madara twitch at the words 'world peace' from the corner of his eye and winced internally. He found he wasn't surprised at all when Madara glared at Hashirama, gripped him by the back of his shirt and flung him into the bay without changing expression. When Hashirama surfaced, spluttering, he looked up and found his brother and Madara both standing with their arms crossed and looking disapproving.

"Brother… That was insensitive." Tobirama scolded.

"Hn." Madara agreed.

Hashirama pouted at them both sourly. "You know, if you two had managed to get along this well while we were all alive we might not even be in this mess."

Tobirama sighed, made a hand sign and dumped a small wave on Hashirama's head.

 

 

As the sun set on the island that night, the living realized they had a whole crowd of dead ninjas hanging around outside that didn't need to eat or sleep, who would be sitting around bored while they were all sleeping.

"Hey, would all you guys like to watch a movie? It might make the night pass a bit quicker." Neville offered.

"What's a movie?" Hashirama inquired eagerly.

"Um, well, it's an entertainment, like a play, but recorded so it can be shown over and over. We have a couple if anyone is interested. We can set it up out here for you all to watch. It's dark enough to see the screen alright…"

"Anything would be better than listening to this bastard bitching all night." Mu, the second Tsuchikage muttered.

"Ha! Like I want to listen to you!" The second Mizukage scoffed.

"Sounds like fun!" Hashirama said over the bickering that seemed to have plagued all the resurrected ninjas. It was strange, he supposed, all of them being there together, once enemies in most cases, but couldn't they at least try to get along?

Most of the living ninjas wandered out as Harry and Neville were getting the movie set up, and settled amongst the resurrections curiously. The rubble surrounding the bay made for acceptable stadium seating with some quick work by Tom and Luna. Several of the rock nins, seeing what they were doing decided to help out in smoothing the rubble into stepped seating so everyone could see easily. While the resurrections settled themselves on the lower seats, Tom and Luna conjured pillows and blankets and tubs of popcorn for the living along the top tier, which they eagerly took advantage of.

"This is cool. I never watched a movie outside before." Naruto whispered as he, Sasuke and Sakura settled in under a shared blanket.

Kakashi settled in a step below them next to his father with Tenzo on his other side. Madara glanced at the row of dead Leaf nins, most of whom eyed him distrustfully, and ignored Hashirama's entreaty to sit with them, opting to settle in on the blankets and pillows with Harry instead, who was already comfortably laying on his stomach under a shared blanket with Tom. He slid into place between Harry and Naruto who both scooched aside to make room for him and tossed the ends of their blankets over him even though he didn't need it.

"Isn't the armor uncomfortable?" Harry wondered.

"I can't really feel much in this body, so not really." Madara chuckled.

"Oh."

"Shh. It's starting." Sakura hissed.

Many of the resurrected ninjas twitched when sound boomed out of the speakers set up to either side of the audience. It was rather amusing to watch the stoic wonder in the eyes of the eldest among them--they had never seen nor imagined such a thing was possible, and seemed universally confused as to how such a genjutsu had been created when there was no mind to attach it to, just a screen. Harry could feel several of them flaring their chakra to dispel genjutsu and muttering uneasily when the movie continued on without pause. In spite of their uneasiness, they could all see them getting dragged into the story in spite of themselves, though they seemed confused. Neville had chosen to start with "The Marauders" first. It was a strange, fanciful tale written by all of them in Gryffindor in their first year. The ninjas mostly seemed unsure what to make of it all, though they did laugh and seem to enjoy it nonetheless. It was late by the time the first movie was over. All the living decided to seek their beds before they fell asleep out on the hard ground. They showed Tobirama how to queue up a new movie and left them to their own devices until morning.

 

"There was a larger crowd yesterday, wasn't there?" Neville asked, looking around.

"Maybe they're wandering around the island?" Luna suggested.

"Good morning!" Fu, former jinchuuriki of the seven tails said cheerfully as she bounced towards the living ninjas as they exited the cabin.

"Good morning, Fu-chan! Where's everyone else?" Naruto asked.

"Well… a few decided to let go and head to the Pure Land. They all had their own reasons. Some of them were just tired and didn't want to be here like this" she indicated the cracked porcelain body she now sported as an Edo Tensei "some realized no one they knew is alive anymore, so they didn't really have any purpose in being here and no one to talk to or make amends to. Some decided it was boring being dead, and since there's no war on there's not really anything for them to do." she concluded, bouncing on her toes.

"I see." Harry nodded. He looked around for Han, the former five tails jinchuuriki, and relaxed slightly when he saw he was still around. They were all pretty sure they needed him and Fu to help rescue their bijuu, so it would have been annoying if he'd decided to pass on.

"Oh no! Gaara! Those cloud-cloak freaks are attacking him again!" Naruto suddenly announced.

"How many?" Kakashi asked.

"It's a bunch of Edo Tenseis! We have to go help him!"

Kakashi nodded. "Make clones to take groups. I'll get everyone gathered." he told Naruto before striding out to get the attention of the rest. "ATTENTION, EVERYONE! AKATSUKI, SPECIFICALLY THE FELLOW WHO RAISED YOU ALL LIKE THIS SEEMS TO BE CURRENTLY ATTACKING SUNA. IF YOU WANT TO GET REVENGE FOR YOUR UNNATURAL STATE, GATHER AROUND ONE OF THE NARUTOS!"

Most of the jinchuurikis tried to gather to go, but Kakashi and Tenzo waved them off. "This is most likely a feint to draw all of you out. They've likely been keeping an eye on Gaara, and know we've been in contact. Let the Edo Tenseis and the rest of us handle this." Kakashi ordered. "The rest of you keep training. Once you've all become perfect jinchuuriki we're going to need all of you for the assault on the statue."

None of them was happy about it, but they agreed in the end. One by one groups of five or so Edo Tenseis and one Naruto vanished in a flash of light.

"Wow. It seems so quiet and empty around here now." Yuugito noted wryly once the last of them had gone.

"We should probably get back to training." Kitsuchi reminded her. "Nice as this vacation has been, I'd like to go home eventually."

"I can't believe Kakashi-sensei made us stay behind too." Sakura grumbled, kicking at a loose stone.

"He probably figured there was no sense risking anyone still alive when we have a small army of immortal zombies out for vengeance right here at our disposal." Utakata spoke up.

"We know why. It still sucks." Sasuke grumbled.

 

 

The ninjas of Sand village watched curiously as the Kazekage's…boyfriend? Friend? Brother from another mother?... Tossed dozens of kunai off the walls into the open track of sand that stood between Sand and the undead army advancing on them. Dozens of streaks of light coalesced around each kunai, revealing a second undead army, though one that seemed to be fighting on their side.

Dozens of wooden beams erupted from the sand and wound around the undead army advancing on them. The newly arrived undead army roared as one, split around the strange new forest the desert had acquired and began running full-out towards the creepy snake guy way in the back who seemed to be controlling the dead. He blanched and turned to run for it. Up on the wall, one of the many Naruto clones present turned to the Kazekage with a sunny smile. "This shouldn't take long at all."

"That one guy in the red just leapt over the whole undead forest thing. Who the hell can just do that?!" Kankuro sputtered in shock.

"The guy in blue made a WAVE in the middle of the DESERT to carry him over. I'd say that's arguably more impressive." Temari said faintly.

"The other guy in red made the forest that stopped a whole army." Gaara reminded them.

"Well, yeah, but everyone knew the First Hokage could do stuff like that, and he was the only one who ever could…those other guys though…" Kankuro shrugged.

"What are those lights?" Temari wondered. "It looks like a lot of the resurrections are letting go once they get a chance to punch Kabuto for doing this to them." Naruto decided, squinting into the distance.

"It looks like the ones in the forest are all crumbling away." Kakuro noted.

"I guess they convinced him to undo the jutsu in between punching him…that, or Madara-nii genjutsued him. I'm not sure which." Naruto reasoned.

The First Hokage let the forest sink back into the sands once there was no longer any need for it.

"What's he doing now?" Gaara wondered.

The four of them twitched when hundreds of white plant men popped up out of the sands.

"From what Madara-nii said, those things can suck out your chakra. If Kabuto was expecting all the jinchuuriki to show up to help you, they were probably lying in wait to dog-pile all of us and carry us off. Too bad for them they're made of the First's cells. He seems to be able to control them." Naruto snickered in delight.

The plant men seemed to be struggling against him even as they vanished back into the sands.

"I wonder what that was all about?" Temari wondered.

"I'm not sure…but something just happened at the nearest oasis. Hold on a moment." Gaara said, pressing two fingers to his eye and holding his other hand out over the desert. Naruto did 'mind's eye of the Kagura' and followed the thread of Gaara's chakra he could sense racing across the desert towards the oasis.

"Well damn." Gaara said a few minutes later.

"It's not just that one. It's all of them. I guess that's not too surprising…there were a lot of those things." Naruto agreed a moment later.

"What is it? What's going on?" Temari wondered.

"All our oases are about three times as big as they were just a few minutes ago." Gaara answered, letting his jutsu drop.

"It was pretty cool, actually. All those creepy plant guys just shot up out of the ground and started turning into trees and grass and flowers and fruit and stuff. I gotta say though…it's pretty creepy how fast they can move through the ground."

"I think it's creepier how far the first Hokage's range extends." Kankuro said, with an uneasy glance at the dorky figure in red.

"Yeah. I wonder how strong he was when he was alive?" Naruto said thoughtfully. "Harry-nii said he, the Second, and Madara-nii are all a lot weaker than they used to be… they've said the same. Hard to imagine, huh?"

The siblings all traded a disconcerted glance.

"Well… I'm quite glad they all showed up on our side then." Gaara noted in his usual deadpan manner.

"Yeah. It was really lucky Harry-nii stole them all away before they were used. That would have been a mess." Naruto said in a remarkable understatement while wrinkling his nose in dismay.

"Uh, yeah." Temari nodded. Beside her Kankuro nodded as well, looking just a bit discombobulated.

 

 

 

"We should probably get up before too much longer. I have a feeling Naruto at least will come looking for us if we don't make an appearance soon." Harry said idly as he traced random designs on Tom's bare chest.

"I suppose." Tom agreed indifferently. "I hope everyone finishes opening their chakra gates soon. While hanging out on this island has been somewhat enjoyable, I didn't really want to spend our whole vacation pinned in one place like this."

"Yeah, this has been a rather odd vacation so far, hasn't it? On the plus side, I've gotten lots of sparring practice in. Luna, Neville and I have all seriously benefitted from being stuck in close quarters with a bunch of bored ninjas for so long. I've increased my weights twice since we've been here." Harry mused.

"Were you wearing weights when you were fighting with that green kid?" Tom sighed, exasperated.

"Yeah, but so was he, and from the sound of it he was carrying a WHOLE lot more weight than the little bit I am." Harry defended himself.

"You're ridiculous. I could barely see that kid move at times. You could have gotten seriously hurt." Tom grumbled.

"Truthfully, I'd gotten so used to having them on I kind of forgot. I don't think it would have made that big of a difference though. The gap between us was still too wide. About the only thing that might have changed was that I might have lasted a bit longer before I started getting tired out, that's all."

"Hmm." Tom said musingly. "Do you think it says something about us that we end up spending most of our vacations with the undead?" he wondered.

Harry snorted and started laughing. "I don't know, maybe. Well…except for Aang's world. No undead there."

"We still encountered spirits, that sort of counts. Vampires. Crazy-me trying to get a new body, now these weird not-zombie resurrections."

"One of whom may have been my brother in another life." Harry agreed wryly.

"May have been?" Tom asked.

"I think emotionally, or maybe spiritually, I believe it mostly because I feel it. My head is still kind of scoffing because seriously, what are the odds?"

"Yes, there is that…though given you would have had magic eyeballs that could be pre-programmed to do things, perhaps it's not so unbelievable?"

"He didn't though. He gave his eyeballs to Madara as he was dying. Both of them were almost completely blind when they had their sharingans off, and even with them on their sight had deteriorated a great deal. Some weird quirk in their genetics allows a pair of brothers with the same advanced stage to switch eyes to allow them to fix themselves and gain a new more stable level. It only works for one brother though. Madara took out his eyes and replaced them with Izuna's and he could see again and had both their advanced sharingan patterns overlaid on one another." Harry explained.

"Well…maybe Madara did it and didn't know it?"

"I might have believed that if I'd been born in this world or it happened to Shikamaru not me."

"I don't know…maybe he made a deal with the Toad sage and that's why he intervened? Who knows?" Tom shrugged. "Have you tried calling Izuna's spirit?"

"If I am a reincarnation, who knows what effect that would have, and if I'm not, he still might have been reborn or just off in the pure land or something and unable to be called."

"Maybe we should try anyway? I don't like mysteries. This whole world is so weird, we have no idea if not knowing will bite us in the ass someday." Tom asserted.

"If I die, I'm going to haunt you." Harry complained.

Tom hesitated as he reached for the ring, which was on the bedside table.

"You shouldn't. Aang can call back his past incarnations without any harm."

"Yeah, but he's Aang."

"I'm sure it'll be fine." Tom decided, grabbing the ring. He began turning the stone as he concentrated on the one he wanted to call.

_"Izuna Uchiha"_

Harry went limp where he was sprawled across him. Tom blanched and felt for a pulse even as a mass of chakra exploded from his back and formed into a young man in dark clothing who looked remarkably like Sasuke…or perhaps the other way around, considering Izuna was his ancestor….sitting crosslegged on the bed to one side. Izuna blinked dark eyes at him, taking in the rather decadent way he and Harry were tangled together, and the fact the two of them were quite naked.

"Wow. Kinky." Izuna said with amusement. "Though this is going to be a rather odd threesome with him unconscious."

"I probably should have thought this through better." Tom admitted. "Is he going to be alright?"

"He'll be fine. He is me, just reborn. Once you release me he'll wake up. He probably won't remember any of this though." Izuna assured him, patting Harry's hair.

"I'm actually kind of surprised to see you. I'd honestly thought nothing would happen." Tom admitted.

"He gave implicit permission…and I have unfinished business. Normally if the spirit has already been reborn nothing much would happen. I chose to be reborn as Harry, and I put my chakra into his mother before he was born to ensure it. It's kind of a special case." Izuna assured him. "You probably won't be able to call me like this again."

"So… Did you program your eyeballs?" Tom wondered.

"No." Izuna laughed. "When I died, I felt like I'd done all I could, had a good run and so on. I was a little irked that Tobirama won our rivalry, but I'd given my brother my eyes and so I figured he could fight on for both of us. I watched him, after. I saw everything going wrong and I wanted to do something to help, but the dead can't effect the living. I thought about being reborn, but you lose your memories of your previous life, and having seen what the future would have looked like had things moved on unchecked it would have been useless. That's when Homura offered me a way to do something."

"Who's Homura?" Tom wondered, already lost.

"He's the Sage of the Six Paths' brother. Their mother, Kaguya, is the ultimate source of all chakra in this world…and it's her will that's been running around making a mess of things."

"Kaguya's will? I thought it was the consciousness of the Ten tails?"

"It is, but it came from her first. Settle back. It's a long, kind of stupid story." Izuna sighed.

"I'm listening."

 

 

"Everyone's on their way back." Naruto informed the group.

"Already? That didn't take long at all." Sakura said in surprise.

"It was a pretty one-side battle" Naruto snickered.

"What happened?" Sasuke wondered.

"Well, Kabuto is a bloody smear on the sand. Most of the Edo Tenseis are gone, as are a few hundred plant guys." Naruto explained.

"So it was a feint to draw us out." B nodded once Naruto finished detailing the battle. "I'd still have liked a chance to punch someone at the very least. All this hiding out is for the birds." he grumbled.

"You'll have your chance when we go after the statue. That thing is huge. All of us and all our bijuu will probably barely make a dent in it." Naruto assured him.

"I've just about finished the uniforms you designed, B-san." Luna informed him.

"Yeah! We'll get to make our debut in style!" B cheered, before going into a celebratory rap.

"Uniforms?" Utakata said with dread, eyeing B bopping around rapping with some dismay.

"Everything but the swords. I mean…I could make swords, but I'm not actually sure they'd hold up in a fight, so it's probably better to get actual swords for everyone. That, and I'd have to tweak everyone's footwear to match, but other than that…" Luna nodded.

"We're going to have uniforms?" Yuugito repeated.

"It has long been B-san's dream to gather all the jinchuuriki into a superhero task force. Barring that, he wanted to become a famous Enka singer." Luna agreed. "I got everyone's measurements and have been making them since he first told me his idea."

A few flashes of light resolved into several Naruto clones, the former jinchuurikis, Kakashi and Tenzo, Hashirama, Tobirama and Madara, and Gaara.

"Gaara! Guess what! We're going to have special uniforms for the jinchuuriki task force! We're going to go try them on! Come on!" Naruto announced cheerfully, grabbing Gaara by the hand to drag him off after B who was eagerly following Luna, wanting to see his dream become reality.

Tom wandered out a moment later, dodging the rest of the jinchuuriki as they headed inside.

"Madara? Could I speak to you for a moment?" he called.

Hashirama pouted a bit as the other man walked away. They'd been like this for three days now, and other than when he'd first been resurrected he'd barely spoken to his old friend. They might have seemingly made peace with one another, but it still rather felt like there was a huge gulf between them even so. They hadn't been able to cross the divide either, as other things kept interrupting whenever he tried to talk to him.

 

"IZUNA?!" Madara demanded as he strode into the bedroom, wild-eyed.

"I'm right here, aniki. Hey! Gently now! I'm just a chakra impression at the moment. I just wanted a chance to greet you as myself before I run out of power. You almost didn't make it back in time. I can only do this once." Izuna chided.

"Izuna." Madara repeated.

Izuna gently pressed their foreheads together.

"Hey, it's alright. I can't stay for long, and I'm sorry about that, but that's how these things go. Stop mourning me, okay? I'm alright. Stop beating yourself up about stuff you couldn't control. That thing's been messing with you and Hashirama and the other transmigrants for generations, so it had a lot of practice and knew just when and how to strike. Forgive yourself. Also, stop thinking you're a failure! You were a great big brother! You were just a kid yourself when the rest of our brothers died. It wasn't your fault. I was an adult when I died. That wasn't your fault either, so stop it! You were a great clan leader when your head wasn't being messed with. Thanks to you dozens of our clansmen survived that wouldn't have otherwise because you didn't throw them out on battlefields when they were little more than babies. We were strong, and we were known as a force to be reckoned with under your leadership, and that's something to be proud of! Also, the village. I know you wanted it mostly so I'd have someplace safe, more than you really wanted it for yourself. Well, congratulations! You did that! Yeah, I was there in spirit while in another life, but I did get to have a relatively safe, happy childhood there for at least a little while. Keep that all in mind, yeah? Let all that bitterness go, please? That's how it gets hold of you."

Izuna looked down at his hands, which were growing thin.

"I wish I could stay longer."

"Izuna, no, don't leave again, please."

"I'll still be here, even if you can't see my face, brother, remember that. I love you. I'll always love you. Death doesn't stop that."

Madara made a pained sound as Izuna's form broke apart into shards of light and flowed back into Harry, who groaned and began to stir.

"OW. Did anyone get the number of the lorry that ran over me?"

"Are you…naked?" Madara said, aghast, as Harry slowly sat up with Tom's help and the sheet that had been covering him fell to his waist. "Just what were you doing to my innocent little brother before I got in here?"

"Innocent? HAH! Do you want to know what he said when he first showed up? That it would be an awkward threesome since Harry was unconscious." Tom scoffed.

"Wow. Just what did I miss?" Harry demanded.

"Why don't you get cleaned up and dressed and I'll tell everyone at once. No pensieve for this one." Tom said, aggrieved.

Harry snickered. "Yeah. I guess we should have gotten dressed before calling up spirits. Ooops."

"You two are weird. You know that, right? Who even thinks about calling up spirits while in such a state?" Madara grumbled.

"Us, apparently." Tom said dryly.

 

 

"What's going on here?" Harry asked curiously as he, Tom and Madara made their way back downstairs.

"It's our Jinchuuriki Superhero Task Force uniforms!" Naruto said brightly, doing a slow spin so they could see the whole thing. "Cool, huh?"

"Is that what you've been working on?" Harry laughed, glancing at Luna.

"Yes. B designed them."

"Why white?" Yuugito demanded.

"So everyone will see us coming!" B said cheerfully.

"We're ninjas. No one's supposed to see us coming." Kitsuchi grumbled.

"It's a threat and a warning in one. Big power, coming your way. Yeah!" B cackled, raising a fist to the sky.

Most of them had opted to leave off the silver-grey 'X'- shaped harness that was supposed to go with the uniform, which was meant to hold a sword on each of their backs. Most of them didn't use swords, so carrying one seemed unnecessary. Gaara added his usual harness that held his sand gourd on his back to his, after Luna helpfully turned it grey so it would match the rest of the outfit, which consisted of a white shirt and pants with black lines around the forearms that seemed to serve as armor plating. There were smaller squares at the knees and on the outside of the arms at the shoulder and the chest that seemed to serve the same purpose. A silvery-grey obi with a red swirl pattern that sort of resembled tails waving in the air, paired with a white band for everyone's forehead protector, which now held numbers from 1 to 9 representing how many tails their respective bijuu had topped things off. Everyone had a pair of silvery-grey gloves , and grey boot-sandals with black armor plating covering the tops of their feet and their shins to finish the outfit off.

"It doesn't look right without the sword harness." B complained.

"You can still wear it. You actually use swords." Sasuke pointed out.

"We were supposed to match." B said sadly.

"You do, even if the details are different." Luna consoled him, patting his arm.

"Since we're all here I do have more information." Tom announced. "I called Izuna Uchiha earlier. Harry and I were both curious whether he really was his reincarnation because, frankly the odds seemed ridiculous. Well, it turns out he is. A chakra impression of Izuna erupted out of Harry's back when I called, and he fell unconscious. He said it was the only time he'd be able to be called that way, and was only able to manifest because he had implicit permission and unfinished business."

"Wouldn't it be simpler to just show us in your brain-bowl jutsu?" Naruto wondered.

"Yes, but we won't be doing that." Tom nodded.

"Why not? What are you hiding?" Tobirama demanded, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Our naked bodies, mostly." Tom replied with aplomb.

"W-what?! Why were you naked?" Sakura spluttered.

"We were having sex before we got to talking about the astronomical odds of my being Izuna's reincarnation." Harry replied easily.

Furious blushes erupted over most of the ninjas faces. Madara sighed. Sakura squeaked and pinched her nose to stop the small nose bleed she'd gotten. Tobirama blanched and seemed at a loss for words.

"Bunch of children." Konan muttered.

Hashirama's eyes got huge and he sputtered. "W-what? In the middle of the day?!" while Naruto gaped, eyes huge and pointed a flailing finger at them both. "WHAAAAT?!"

"Honestly, Naruto." Harry sighed. "We may not have been humping each other at the breakfast table, but we've hardly hidden it."

"Moving on…" Tom interjected.

"Yes, please." Madara agreed dryly.

"Okay, so when Izuna died he moved on, but he was able to watch and didn't like how things were shaping up, but there wasn't much he could really do about it. He was eventually approached by Homura, who is the twin brother of the Sage of the Six Paths. He'd been getting annoyed with how things were going as well and finally decided someone needed to intervene. He told Izuna he'd been searching for a while for some way to knock things off their present course and had finally seen a possibility in one possible future. Izuna, realizing it was probably the best chance he would have to effect things followed his advice and put his chakra into a pregnant woman so that he would incarnate as that specific child, who would one day slip free of his body and be sent to spend time as his alternate in another world…this world, to be exact. Homura had seen that there was a possible future where the ongoing mess his mother and brother had made could be averted through an outsider intervening. In most other possible futures, the Ten Tails is reborn, Madara is basically eaten by Kaguya and becomes her new vessel, and there's a huge war that wipes out a huge swath of the world population and results in all or most of those with chakra being eaten and turned into Zetsus--the white plant men. That's apparently what happens to you if you get eaten by the God tree and have all your chakra removed…"

When Tom finally finished talking, Kakashi leaned back with a sigh.

"Alright…let me make sure I've got all this straight. Princess Kaguya, an alien from another world, came here to eat the fruit of the god tree. She had chakra already before eating it, so it gave her godlike powers, and she became known as the Rabbit Goddess. Her children, twins, were also born with nearly godlike chakra. When they got older, they started giving chakra out to the humans in the world. Kaguya found out and started feeding everyone to a new god tree so she could get it back. The great toad sage taught the elder twin, Hagoromo, the sage arts and he became the Sage of the Six Paths, and he and his brother fought and sealed their mother, Kaguya away…but she left a manifestation of will behind and took over the god tree and turned it into a monster before being completely sealed away and went on a rampage. The Sage and his brother didn't realize the tree hadn't just randomly gotten angry and so didn't realize they hadn't completely vanquished their mother."

"Sounds about right so far." Tom agreed.

"The Sage and his brother defeated the ten tails, the monster the god tree turned into, with Kaguya in control, and the Sage sealed it away in himself after tearing out the chakra and making the nine bijuu. When he reached the end of his life he removed the corpse of the ten tails, made the moon and sealed it away in there so no one could put it back together." Sakura continued.

"However, the part of Kaguya's will she'd let loose before becoming the Ten Tails was still free and messing with the Sage's son, Indra and perhaps the Sage himself." Sasuke continued.

"Indra, and Asura his younger brother, fought one another many times, but they eventually made up and decided their dad was the one at fault for turning them against each other and controlling everyone in the world through the chakra he'd gifted them, so they sealed him out of the world, and sent their chakra to transmigrate to keep him out." Kakashi picked up the story again. "However, Kaguya's will was still in the world and continued messing with the Sons' chakra each time it appeared and kept the transmigrants and Indra and Asura's descendants at odds while it tried to figure out how to recombine the power to make a new Rinnegan, so it could get the Ten tail's corpse from the moon. It finally succeeded with Madara and Hashirama, the last transmigrants. The remaking of the Rinnegan eyes ruined the transmigration cycle and made it possible for the Sage to interfere in the world again, as well as brought the Ten tails' closer to its goals of remaking itself and freeing Kaguya. Homura, the Sage's brother, finally got sick of all his mother, brother and nephews shenanigans and tapped Izuna to aim for a one in a thousand chance to intervene from the outside, while Asura and Indra decided to reincarnate so they could bar their father from interfering further. Is that about right?" Kakashi sighed.

"He did say it was a long and stupid story, but yeah. That about covers it." Tom nodded.

"Eaten by a stupid rabbit goddess" Madara said wrathfully. "I can't believe that was to be my fate."

"I notice you don't spare much concern for the huge swath of humanity that was going to be wiped out or everyone with chakra being eaten." Tobirama said snidely.

"That stupid bitch already kept me trapped in a cave for fifty years or so, and was planning to resurrect me long enough to use me to destroy the world before eating me to make me her new vessel! Excuse me if I don't have much concern to spare!" Madara snarled.

"He said most of the futures ended up like that?" Yuugito asked warily.

"There were a few possibilities. In one, Kaguya is reborn, eats all the chakra leaving a dead world behind and goes about her merry way. Ninjas, humans and bijuu are no more. In another, Kaguya is defeated and sealed again, along with her will. The statue is put away in another dimension. This happens because the reincarnations of Asura and Indra meet with the Sage, who gifts them some of his power to do it. Some of the world, a small portion of the ninjas and the bijuu are saved, but the Sage has free rein to exert some control on the world again, undoing generations of transmigrations and a reincarnation to keep that from happening. In one Kaguya is defeated, but so much destruction happened that the world dies out anyway. Homura saw one possibility where an outsider appeared from off world, and because he was outside the cycle set things askew enough that a different ending could happen. That person was Izuna reborn as Harry. Naturally, once reborn he had no memory of who he'd once been, and so changing the future was contingent on Harry behaving as himself. He did, …and he effected change by befriending Naruto." Tom explained.

"By saving Yuugito and finding out about Akatsuki, you mean." Sakura objected.

"No. He befriended Naruto, which led to Sasuke's family being saved. It probably helped that they were Izuna's family as well in life. In most of the possible futures, the Uchiha clan was wiped out, and the repercussions of this and how it made later events play out led to the future where Kaguya triumphs--whether briefly or completely. Saving Yuugito and finding out about Akatsuki was a bonus. The future was already changed." Tom disagreed. "Had we not come here things would have still been mostly okay for most of the world. It would have been one of the better future possibilities, though there would have still be a lot of death and destruction before the end."

Sakura and Naruto sat quietly, each with an arm around Sasuke in support. He was still looking a bit pale and shaken at the thought that in most possibilities of the future his clan had been wiped out. The rest were equally disturbed that the end of the world might have been narrowly averted because some random Uchiha kid had been saved in another village years ago.

 

 

"So? What've the kids been up to?" Jiraiya asked curiously once Itachi finished reading the latest dispatch from team Kakashi and company.

"Well…for one thing, Kisame Hoshigaki and Kabuto Yakushi are both dead. Kisame during an attack on Turtle island, where Cloud's jinchuuriki were hiding. Kabuto escaped that battle but later showed up to attack Sand and draw out the jinchuuriki…"

Shisui, Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Dan who had been following Tsunade around since he'd arrived a few days ago, listened to all the team and the visitors had been up to with disbelief. When Itachi finally finished, they simply sat there for several moments trying to digest everything.

"Good news, overall…especially for my clan. My ancestor, the first missing nin, can have his name cleared" Itachi noted.

"Which isn't really important to anyone but us, but still." Shisui, who was acting as Itachi's assistant that day, said cheerfully.

"Secondly, our cousin, long thought lost to us is actually alive if not well. It remains to be seen if he can be saved and returned to the village. Part of me hopes so, though I also wonder if it might be kinder not to after all this time." Itachi said mournfully.

"We'll save him." Shisui said firmly. "We will."

His and Itachi's eyes met. Itachi frowned in thought, but finally gave him a small nod. The tight set of Shisui's shoulders relaxed and he nodded back.

"He'll need years of therapy." Tsunade sighed. "And who knows if it will ever be enough after all he's been through? Of course, all that depends on whether he can actually be subdued and possibly separated from the consciousness without further damage."

"Further good news. Nagato and Konan are still with them and helping out. They haven't decided to run off or tried taking out the jinchuuriki even though they're right there with them." Jiraiya said with a small smile.

"Good news, but that was reckless taking a chance like that. I've never known Kakashi to be a gambler." Tsunade grumbled.

"He must have felt sufficiently convinced of their sincerity." Itachi mused. "Still, that means it's almost over and with no major destruction or death as a result. This is the best outcome we could have hoped for."

"Hokage-sama…the barrier team has reported six unknown nin have just breached the walls."

"Six? Tell Police headquarters Code zero." Itachi said calmly. "The rest of you with me. Shisui…"

"Way ahead of you." Shisui cut him off, before vanishing out the window.

"Where's he going?" Jiraiya asked as they headed for the roof to get a good view of the village.

"To look for our cousin, obviously." Itachi replied.

"Who, Obito?" Tsunade demanded.

"Indeed."

"Okay… What's code zero?" Jiraiya wondered. "Oh shit…is that…" he trailed off in horror as he watched an orange-haired man with piercings begin to levitate over the village. Elsewhere plumes of smoke began to go up and part of a building crumbled under a large summon animal that was suddenly atop it.

"One of the Paths of Pain? Yes, I do believe it is." Itachi nodded, still calm.

"But Nagato…"

"Had one of his eyes stolen." Itachi reminded him. "The bodies were left behind in Rain where they could be coopted by Obito."

"You never answered. What's code zero?" Tsunade wondered.

"Just watch. We'll see in a moment if it worked. Ah…it would seem it has." Itachi said with a small smile as the Pain body hovering over the village began to plummet. "Code zero is the activation code for the signal jammers I had installed all over the village. R & D did very efficient work there. I figured if the Pain bodies, or any similar type of chakra-signal puppet technique was ever used in the village, we could put a quick end to it simply by jamming the signal. It would appear it has worked. We now just need to retrieve the bodies, remove the signal receptors and corral the summon animal." Itachi explained, while signaling for his ANBU guards to do just that. "As the police force has also been apprised of why code zero would be enacted, I'm sure they'll already be on scene to help contain any problems."

"Very efficient." Jiraiya said faintly.

"Indeed." Itachi agreed with a small smile. "I do so like it when a plan comes together."

 

 

"Huh. Konoha was just attacked." Naruto said idly at dinner.

"Oh no!" Sakura gasped.

"How bad is it? Do we need return?" Kakashi demanded a moment later.

"Wha…? No, no, it's fine. They called Code Zero and it was all over in like, ten minutes." Naruto assured them. "Mask-guy got away. Oh, hey uncle Nagato? Your bodies are all in the Konoha morgue. Just so you know."

"Oh. I suppose we should get Yahiko back. I think it's time we gave him a proper burial. I'm not sure who the rest of them are." Nagato said quietly.

"I know one guy's from the Fuuma clan. Pervy-sage gave him the scar on his forehead. He can probably tell you all their names. He met all of them during his travels apparently." Naruto informed him.

"Ah. Small world." Nagato replied.

"That arrogant man probably thinks we chose them specifically because he knew them, as some sort of sad ploy for his attention." Konan muttered, stabbing at her dinner.

"Yeah, he totally does. He got all misty-eyed about it." Naruto agreed cheerfully.

 

Once dinner was over, Kakashi signaled to the Konoha nins to stay behind. When the others had gone back outside, he focused on Naruto.

"What is code zero and why does it mean the attack lasted only a few minutes?"

"Oh. Didn't I tell you about that? It's a signal jammer. Village wide. The bodies fell down." Naruto summarized. "Hokage-niichan had it put in the moment he knew how the Pain body jutsu worked. He figured someone would try to use it on us at some point, so he wanted to be prepared. I told auntie Mikoto about the masked guy too, so all the cops and Shisui-niichan were all out in force looking for him as soon as the attack happened, but he ran away before they could get him and bring him back to the village. Oh, hey, I should tell Madara-nii they're having a party tonight in the Uchiha district to celebrate him not really being a missing nin. A couple of the kids are going to TP the Hyuga's place while they're at it. Apparently they like to make snide comments about how they're better since they didn't have any missing nin like the Uchihas did, so they want to get back at them. Oh. Don’t let on you know who it was. I don't want to get them in trouble."

"They have the Byakugan. They'll get caught regardless." Kakashi sighed.

Naruto opened his mouth like he was about to speak, but Sakura and Sasuke each kicked one of his ankles. He closed his mouth again without saying anything. Kakashi and Tenzo both looked at all three of them suspiciously.

"Yeah. You're probably right." Naruto nodded, sounding not the least bit sincere, after waiting just a bit too long to answer.

Outside, Tobirama, who was shamelessly listening in, glared suspiciously at Madara, who was smirking.

" _Really?_ A Uchiha becomes Hokage and this is how your clan acts?" he demanded tiredly.

"Oh no. Some children are going to harmlessly prank a house. The end is nigh." Madara said dryly. "Relax, would you? The whole point of Konoha, of the whole idea of a ninja village, was to give the children a safe place to grow up where they could do stupid, childish things, and actually be children rather than very small soldiers. Rather than complaining, you should be dancing for joy that it has seemingly worked so well."

"It's all so beautiful!" Hashirama said, sniffling. He pounced and pulled his brother and Madara into a hug.


	10. How to wrangle a Uchiha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto and Nagato go through the Uzumaki archive with some help from friends, Hashirama thinks about the past, Tobirama and Tom look at porn, Naruto gives Hashirama some advice.

Hashirama let out a despondent sigh as he stared out into the ocean.

"Brother?" Tobirama asked. "Let me guess…Madara? It always seems to be him with you."

"I just don't understand. We made peace with one another, and yet I still feel like I lost my best friend."

"Look over there. Tell me what you see." Tobirama pointed.

"Huh? Madara and some of the kids. Why?"

"Who has he spent all his time with since we've been here? The kids. You and I he gets away from as quickly as possible. Beyond a handful of words here and there, he doesn't spend much time with any of the older people here. He hangs out with the teenagers."

"So what's your point?"

"If he was actually possessed for most of his life, chances are he didn't actually get a chance to grow up like everyone else did. I can recall often thinking he was childish, and that the two of you acted like a couple of idiot children when you were together back when we were all still alive and in the village. There may have been a reason for that. He actually was somewhat childish because a foreign entity had taken control of him before he was fully mature and you just followed suit when you were together. If that's the case, he's been avoiding you because he can't really connect with you anymore as emotionally he's closer in age to the children than to you or I or the rest of the over-twenties that are here." Tobirama explained gently. "You grew up, raised a family, ran a village, had grandchildren… He may still actually be an angsty teenage clan-head deep inside."

"I see." Hashirama mused. "Well, never let it be said that I couldn't be as childish as I need to be. If that's what it takes…"

"Being able to turn into a child at will isn't exactly something to be proud of." Tobirama said flatly.

"So grumpy…"

"Go bother Madara."

 

 

"Ready to go again?" Konan asked Sakura who was panting. She glanced at Luna next. The poor girl was a civilian, so it was no real surprise that she looked fairly wiped out already. Fu was bouncing on her toes, still raring to go, but then as an Edo Tensei she felt no pain and didn't really get tired. Yuugito also still looked fresh and ready to go, but she had a bijuu in her which greatly enhanced her stamina and fighting prowess. Konan wasn't an Edo Tensei, didn't have a bijuu. She just seemed to be naturally made of awesome, and looked as fresh and ready as the other two.

"I may fall unconscious, but sure. Bring it on." Luna gasped.

Sakura got her breath under control and nodded firmly. "I've still got some fight left in me. Don't take me lightly."

Konan gave the pink-haired girl a small smile.

"By the time we're done with you, you'll be able to kick both your boys' asses and take names. We kunoichi have to look after one another." Yuugito grinned.

"Well, kick my ass and call me a dominatrix." Luna snickered.

"Is your whole world full of perverts?" Sakura wondered.

"Is yours? You apparently know what a dominatrix is." Luna pointed out.

"I'm really glad I got to meet all of you, even if I'm already dead. I didn't really have other girls to train with back home. This has been nice."

"I'm glad I got to meet you as well, Fu-chan." Luna told her. Sakura smiled and nodded, as did Konan, though Konan's smile was faint and rather guilty.

"I am too. I'm just sorry I didn't meet you before all this happened. None of us knew what was happening until it was already too late for you and Han." Yuugito told the former jinchuuriki sadly.

"Oh well. Can't really help it I guess. I've never been dead before. I suppose it will be interesting… I hope it is. I don't really remember anything before I got resurrected." Fu mused, trying to be cheerful. "Alright, enough chit-chat. Let's fight!"

"Yeah!" Sakura and Yuugito cheered.

Konan just nodded sharply and got ready, while Luna raised her fist half-heartedly into the air.

 

 

"I'm not really good at learning stuff like this from scrolls." Naruto admitted. "I had to get an actual person to help me with taijutsu." Nagato nodded in commiseration, even as he tried the stances detailed on the scroll.

"What are you trying to do, exactly?" Madara wondered, peering over Naruto's shoulder, before glancing at Harry and Sasuke as they passed nearby, mid-fight. He watched a moment longer in concern--his brother's reincarnation was a civilian this time around, after all-- but Sasuke had his Sharingan off, and Harry seemed to be keeping up alright for the moment at least. He turned back to the scroll and glanced over the row of stances. "Ah. I've actually seen this in action." he realized.

He moved opposite Nagato and gestured for him to attack, demonstrating a few of the moves they'd been trying to decipher.

"Madara! Mito always swore you used to watch her train. I guess I can tell her she was right next time I see her!" Hashirama teased as he approached.

"As if. I made it a policy to stay as far away from that hellcat as possible. I actually got this from her brother." Madara disagreed.

"Kazuhiko?"

"No, the other one, Shinji."

"Shinji? I wasn't even aware you'd ever met him. I barely knew him. He didn't spend much time around when he came to visit." Hashirama said in surprise.

"I saw quite a lot of him." Madara said with a nostalgic smirk.

"Oh. I hadn't realized you were friends. You never mentioned it."

"Right. Like I was going to tell you I seduced your wife's baby brother. Next thing I knew I'd have had your hellcat chasing me through the village. No thank you."

Hashirama and Naruto flailed in shock. Madara rolled his eyes at them both and continued leading Nagato through the forms.

"Mito-sama was that formidable?" Nagato asked curiously.

"Yes, she was. Especially as I couldn't actually defend myself against her without bringing the entirety of the village out for my blood. Doomed if I didn't, damned if I did. That woman despised me. I was very careful not to give her cause to attack, as I knew very well it wouldn't end well for me."

"Mito didn't despise you!" Hashirama protested.

Madara just gave him a very tired look. "When you were around, she didn't." he scoffed, before turning away back to Nagato. "You defend now."

Nagato nodded and did his best to copy what Madara had just done while Madara attacked.

"Little higher on the left there. Don't twist quite that much. Yes, that's better. Feel the difference?"

"Yes. I think I have it now." Nagato nodded.

Hashirama sat down beside Naruto, morose once more. Just how much had he missed back then? And since when did Madara like other men like _that?_ Now that the idea had been introduced he found himself having to work not to think about it. He remembered Shinji--dimly as he'd really only met him briefly a handful of times. A tall youth with the typical red hair, spiky like Naruto and his brother's hair was, and red eyes.

"You too, Fishcake." Madara gestured Naruto to come forth. "NA-RU-TO!" Naruto whined as he moved into place.

"Now that I know it bothers you, I'll call you that all the time." Madara teased, bopping him lightly on the nose with his index finger "You defend, Nagato attacks."

"So mean, Madara-nii." Hashirama glanced at Naruto sharply at the odd choice of address he used for Madara.

He'd noticed it before but not taken much note of it, though after his talk with his brother… He himself was 'grandpa', his brother and Nagato were 'uncle'…but Madara, who was of an age with himself was 'big brother'. Young Naruto was a very straightforward person who called things as he saw them. It would seem his little brother had been more on track than he'd wanted to believe. One thing still bothered him though.

"I thought you were depressed and possessed while we were in the village. Seducing random men doesn't exactly hold with that." Hashirama noted.

"I met him before then. When Izuna was still alive, before the village." Madara admitted.

"You did? When? How did something like that even happen?"

"The usual way, I would imagine. He had his hair lightened. We met in a dive bar and had a fling. The very tips of his roots were red. It was very slight. I doubt most people would have noticed. I knew, from that, that he wasn't from a friendly or allied clan, but neither of us was there to fight. It was a bit of a surprise to run into him again years later and find out he was the hellcat's little brother. Small world." Madara shrugged.

"Did you make a habit of that? Picking up strange shinobi in dive bars?" Hashirama asked faintly. "That was dangerous! You could have gotten yourself killed!"

Madara rolled his eyes. "Give me some credit, would you? I was always careful, and it wasn't usually shinobi. Shinji was a special case."

"You were close to him?" Hashirama guessed.

"No. He was attractive… and reminded me of someone. Can we drop it now? It's really none of your business!" Madara growled, obviously uncomfortable with the line of questioning, before stalking off.

"Grandpa! You chased him off when he was helping us!" Naruto complained.

"Ah. Sorry about that. It wasn't my intention. I can try to help you if you like."

Hashirama stuck around to help them run through the forms detailed on the scroll they had with them, but him mind was only marginally on the lesson at hand. His mind couldn't stop circling back to the fact that Madara had been in love, enough so that he picked up random men in bars that reminded him of the guy after they presumably parted ways. He, supposedly his best friend, had no clue all these years.

He found his mind obsessively trying to recall every man he'd ever seen Madara interact with…and found himself shamed to realize he couldn't really remember many off hand. Looking back, with the benefit of hindsight, he realized Madara had been a ghost most of the years he'd been in the village.

He himself always saw him several times a month at least, but always alone, and never for very long before someone came looking to drag him back to his duties. He'd never accepted any of his invitations to dine with he and his wife, he rarely saw him in restaurants or wandering around the village with anyone. During village-wide celebrations, if he showed up at all, he was usually on the edges, away from the main celebration. Whenever he would spot him lurking, he always had tried to get him to come join himself and his wife and brother and the other clan heads, but he'd usually declined.

He could remember that he'd once used to accept such invitations, but only the first few times, and he hadn't stuck around for very long. He was ashamed to admit he often didn't notice he was gone until long after he'd vanished, as he was usually too busy chatting with everyone. Many was the time when he'd wanted nothing more than to slip off to sit beside his old friend and just enjoy the celebrations together, and bask in the peace while it lasted in the village they'd built together… but there was always someone at his elbow, pulling him away, reminding him he had important people to talk to, important matters to attend, because he was an important man now… He'd always allowed it, and never once said that his friend was important, or if he had, he obviously hadn't done it enough.

He'd put so much effort and importance on making his dream a reality, he'd never noticed how it had caused him to fail those closest to him.

_"Anyone who threatens our…no, MY village, I'll cut them down without mercy, be it my friend, my sibling or my own child!"_

_"You've changed, Hashirama. You have your priorities all mixed up. That sort of thinking will lead to corruption which will rot your village away from the roots upward."_

Madara's final words to him had haunted him, long after the fight was over. It had been a difficult time. Everyone had been quick to assure him he'd done the right thing, and a few hadn't bothered to try to hide that they were glad he was dead. Madara's absence in the village had been an aching void that'd he'd tried hard to cover up for the sake of everyone else. It had been hard, and looking back, he wasn't sure he'd actually fooled anyone.

He could recall one particularly terrible instance right after it happened. He'd gone to the Uchiha district for something or other--he honestly couldn't remember what now, all these years later. He had seen Madara's daughter and granddaughter walking in the distance. His daughter normally wore her hair up or braided when she was out and about in the village, as she had the same long, wild, spiky hair Madara did. On that day, they had been on their way home from the bathhouse, and her hair was down, falling down her back in a wild riot. He'd caught sight of her and his heart had squeezed so hard in his chest that for a moment he couldn't breathe and his vision had gone double. She must have caught sight of him from the corner of her eye, as she'd glanced up and their eyes met. They had both stood there frozen, staring at one another for a moment, before she'd turned abruptly and hurried home. When he'd come back to himself, he'd noted with a distant part of his mind that everyone around him was trying a bit too hard to seem like they weren't paying any attention to them.

He'd managed to get out of the Uchiha district and away from view before he'd broken down. He could remember being furiously angry afterwards--at Madara, and at himself for allowing the man so much power over him. He'd raged at how he'd allowed the man's last words to haunt him and make him question himself--who had he been, after all, to lecture? Had he not left his child and grandchild, his niece and nephew, his clan behind? Hadn't he left HIM behind?

He'd gone into a decline after that, he recalled. He'd seemed to get weaker and weaker as the weeks passed, and not a healer among them could find the cause. He knew now, of course, that his power was being drained out by the ten tails through the chunk of his arm it had bit off during his and Madara's last battle. He could recall all too clearly his wife and his brother's red-rimmed eyes as he grew weaker. They were devastated, and yet couldn't completely hide that they were angry with him as well. He realized now they must have thought he was pining so badly he'd died of it.

He was still…somewhat…certain Mito hadn't despised Madara before he left the village. He was far more certain that she had most assuredly loathed him once he was dead. She'd had to leave his bedside in those final days more than once to quietly meditate when her anger caused the fox to grow restless inside her. Looking back, it would seem he'd failed all three of them in different ways. At the time, he'd only seen his dream of peace realized, though for a terrible price--one he'd been all too willing to pay to see his dream a reality.

Up until his death, and even upon being raised to this unnatural form, he had steadfastly believed that he had done the right, only thing--destroy that which threatened his village. Even upon learning how his old friend had suffered in the aftermath of that final fight, knowing the terrible fight he must have waged for years, alone, against his own heart and mind beforehand… He had been unable to find it in his heart to believe even then that he'd been wrong to ruthlessly cut him down. It was only now, days later, upon being confronted with the unhealing gap between them, and being confronted again and again with how much he'd overlooked, ignored or set aside in his quest for peace at all cost that he could really think on Madara's last words to him with some measure of rueful disquiet.

Was that hard-won peace truly worth it if it destroyed what you loved in the process? He wasn't sure anymore…except, it had to be, didn't it? Things were better now. It wasn't the peaceful Utopia they'd dreamed of, but it was a better, more peaceful age. Their gathering here on the island was proof of that--people of so many nations and clans and villages gathered together in common purpose--it was something that would have been impossible in their youth. The 'kids' here were all older than Madara or himself had been when they'd become clan heads. They'd faced their first battle voluntarily at an age when they'd been on the battlefields for a year or more unwillingly, and hadn't seen another until at an age when they'd all been seasoned veterans. They still had innocence, hope and optimism at an age when most of his own contemporaries had been bitter, jaded, or dead. Surely those things were worth any price?

 

 

"Let me see if I've gotten this straight. You want us to arrest former village elder Homura Mitokado on suspicion of having TP-eed your clan compound, Hyuga-sama, is that about right?" KMPF officer Akira Uchiha managed to say with a straight, serious face. "On what grounds?"

"It was obviously him!" Hyuga elder, Hozo Hyuga snarled "He's getting back at me!"

"You did something to him that requires retaliation?" Akira asked.

"When I was five! He must have realized I was the one that got all the children at the time calling him toilet paper man!"

"I beg your pardon?" Akira managed to choke out, stifling the guffaw that wanted to escape.

"Have you ever seen him go into battle? He had big scrolls strapped all over him that he used to unroll to pull weapons out of. It looked like he had a giant roll of toilet paper strapped to his chest! It was obviously him! The guards searched the grounds and there were no signs of any intruders, but some of them found marks on the mountaintop, right next to that bastard's house, that indicated a catapult had been in place there. That's how he did it! It's the only way anything could have gotten on to our grounds without anyone seeing!"

"I see." Akira nodded, biting his lip while filling out the incident report in front of him. "You do understand we will have to investigate. We'll let you know if we find anything."

"See that you do!" Hozo grunted, before striding off with his nose in the air.

The police station was quiet for several long minutes, until Ichiro, the duty officer for the day, poked his head in. "He's out of range." he told everyone with a smirk.

As one, the cops began laughing and high-fiving one another. The kids had managed a perfect prank There'd probably be another party tonight!

 

 

"Why are you so interested in all these broken seal remnants anyway?" Tobirama asked Tom curiously.

He'd been prowling through the ruins with him since he'd asked for his help earlier to decipher some symbols he wasn't familiar with.

"Seals are an archaic art among my people. They're still studied, mostly so new generations can decipher antique remnants in museums and such. I'm not an expert by any means. I only ever made a cursory study of the art, but what I do know is that even when they were commonly in use, they were never used as flexibly or as extensively as they are here. I can probably work a dozen scholarly papers out of just the scraps I've come across." Tom replied. "Ha! I was right! There was a hidden cache there!" he crowed as a space on the wall opened up.

He eagerly dug out the contents and then made a disgusted face. "Really? Porn?" he complained, feeling around the cubby to see if he'd missed anything.

Tobirama snorted in embarrassed amusement. Tom shoved it all back in the hole and stalked off to look for more.

"Tobi!" Hashirama said despondently as he tumbled in to the ruins and pounced on him. "I'm a terrible friend!"

"I'm sure that's not true." Tobirama growled, trying in vain to pry his brother off of him. He swore sometimes the man was part octopus. There was no getting him off unless he felt like it.

"It's true! Madara had a whole secret life I knew nothing about!" he whined before detailing the conversation they'd had earlier.

Tobirama sighed and doubled down on trying to pry his brother off. "I don't care about any of that! Please stop talking!" Tobirama growled.

"I think Mito might have threatened him. That's why he'd never come to dinner. Why would she do that?" Hashirama whined.

"Your wife? Gee, I can't imagine." Tom said sarcastically under his breath.

Tobirama sent Tom a sharp look, but then got distracted when he finally pried his brother off.

"And who was this person he was in love with? He never mentioned it even once in all the years I knew him!" Hashirama continued.

Tobirama noted Tom cast a disbelieving look Hashirama's way and rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath.

"And we still haven't really made up. If anything it's now worse than it was earlier!"

"Maybe you should just leave him be?" Tom interjected. "A lot went down between the two of you. You called a truce or whatever, that'll just have to be good enough. Besides, you're both dead. Your story has already been written. It's over. He's going to be reborn into our world when all this is over. I just hope he has sense enough to be reborn as someone close to us. I do not want Harry spending the next twenty years or so wandering the world looking for him."

"W-what?! He's going to leave the world? But…our village is here!" Hashirama protested.

"I doubt he cares. That village may have been a joy and a haven to the two of you, but it never really was for him. Why would he ever choose the village over the brother that reached out from beyond death to help him? It's a no brainer. Honestly! Of course he's leaving the world!" Tom scoffed.

"Brother, calm yourself. It isn't like either of us knows how these things work. That might happen regardless of whether he chooses it or not, or he may end up somewhere altogether different, as will we. There's no sense in worrying about it." Tobirama said firmly.

"Maybe I should go with him? We're never going to make up otherwise." Hashirama mused.

Tobirama face-palmed, already getting a headache at the thought of wrangling those two idiots for another lifetime.

"Please don't. I think you've caused that guy enough heartache for one lifetime and vice versa." Tom disagreed.

Hashirama slumped to the floor, covered by a gloom cloud. "How cruel."

"Just calling it like I see it." Tom said without remorse. "Ooh, another cache! Please don't be porn…" he muttered. "Ah…not porn. Why hide a tea set? These people were so weird…"

 

 

"As you can see, we found everything. I got you a sample of each one. You should probably let them grow for a while so you have extra before trying to make any of the recipes. It's a lot warmer here than in Konoha, so you'll probably need to set up a greenhouse for this stuff." Neville explained.

Across the table, in front of Naruto and Nagato were a bunch of small planters with plants from around the island in them. Nagato was slowly going over the scroll from the Uzumaki archive on which each of them was detailed, along with common uses and recipes that Neville, Haku and Gaara had been using on their scavenger hunt. They had indeed found everything and had even made little signs that had been inserted in each pot that gave its name and instructions for its care. Some were medicinal in nature, a few made dyes, and some were food or spices.

Haku and Gaara had gathered a lot of the fruits and berries that were growing wild while Neville got cuttings and seeds for Naruto to grow when he got home. Gaara seemed to have developed a fondness for a largish, ugly fruit with a hairy rind locally known as "Tanuki Balls" as it grew in groups of two. He wasn't too fond of the name, and Shukaku (whose form was that of a tanuki) had been having fits since he'd taken his first bite, but it was tasty enough to make up for all that.

"If you manage to grow these I'll buy your whole stock." Gaara told him seriously, as he began peeling a second fruit. "Please give them a new name though"

"Are there a lot of them on the island?" Naruto wondered.

"A whole grove." Haku nodded, watching the Kazekage in amusement. He himself was making short work of some berries they'd found.

"Oh. We can probably seal up some for you to take home with you. They should keep for a while."

"Can we do that now?" Gaara asked intently. "I don't want to forget."

"Uh…yeah. Sure thing. Um… Ah, Harry-nii! Do you have any blank scrolls I can use to feed Gaara's new found addiction for Tanuki Balls?"

"Give them a new name." Gaara growled.

"Uh, sure. We should have some." Harry snickered, helping himself to some of the nuts and berries as he passed by.

"Is that what they call them? I never knew. I just vaguely remember seeing them in the market now and then." Madara noted, lifting one and sniffing at it. "It certainly smells like a tanuki's balls."

"I won't ask how you know that." Harry snickered as he returned with a handful of blank scrolls.

Gaara licked his fingers clean and rose, looking at Naruto expectantly. Naruto sighed and made a clone who grabbed the scrolls, some ink and a brush and followed him. Madara was poking at the rest of the items on the table curiously.

"I remember these too. They're for female complaints."

"Why would you know something like that?" Konan asked curiously.

"My daughter. I rarely saw her. Her mother and I weren't on good terms. I ran into her on the street and invited her in for tea. She asked if she could make herself a special tea. She seemed to be in some distress, so I questioned her. She actually told me, and then laughed at me when I got embarrassed and wasn't sure how to react. She said the apothecary swore by the stuff, so she was going to try it. It was a rather awkward afternoon. I was able to show her my mother's special fire jutsu. She could project heat from her hands. She used to use it on my father's shoulders when he got stressed out. I caught her using it on herself once, but she got embarrassed when I questioned her about it. I realized while sitting with my daughter that day what she must have been doing. I used it on her. She said it helped, and I showed her how to do it herself. I was rather surprised she didn't already know it, once I realized what its intended use was. I didn't have any sisters, so I guess my mother never taught it to anyone else. Unfortunately, her mother came looking for her not long afterwards. I think that was the last time I spent any real amount of time with her." Madara said absently as he set down the triangular-shaped pod he'd been examining.

"That got passed down." Sasuke said from the doorway. "My grandmother, my father's mother, taught it to my mother, who taught it to Izumi-neechan after she and my brother got married. She said she'd been told it had passed down from our great-great great grandfather for use on female complaints, but she wasn't sure she believed it. I guess I can lay the debate to rest."

"Hn." Madara grunted, sounding amused. "My legacy, it seems. Madara Uchiha, defeater of menstrual cramps."

"Don't knock it." Konan said firmly. "I'm sure generations of your female descendants have blessed your name."

"Trust me, that means your male descendants did as well." Nagato snickered when Konan glared at him.

 

 

Tom, Tobirama and Hashirama all peeked their heads out of the ruins when they heard Sakura cackling in triumph.

"You alright there?" Tom called to her.

"HA! I'm better than alright! Look!" she pointed to the diamond on her forehead.

"Oh! You have Mito's seal!" Hashirama realized. "Of course, you're a student of my granddaughter, aren't you?"

"She's going to be so surprised! I not only managed it, but it finished completion nearly a year early because of our special training here. I've been funneling all the excess to the seal each time I opened a gate." she said happily. "I finally have access to all my chakra again! Do you know how hard it is to run missions and work full shifts at the hospital with access to only part of your chakra at any given time? Let me tell you, it's not fun! If I hadn't realized just how worth it this seal would be in the long run I'd have given up before the first three months were up. I didn't though. I held on and went the distance, and now my work is finally complete!"

"Congratulations." Tobirama nodded. "If your seal just completed, I take it you just opened one of those gates?"

"The sixth, so I'm all done until the last few catch up." Sakura nodded cheerfully. "The last of my team." she added with a pout. "I think Sasuke-kun must have been secretly training at night instead of sleeping or something, because I was ahead of him. He opened his sixth a few minutes before I did."

"You should be proud. Most of those who went through this training took months to finish. That most of this whole group is done in what, a week and a half, is incredible." Tom assured her. "And you all managed that even with everyone slacking off to do other things."

"I guess you're right. I just didn't want to be the last one on my team. They're always so in synch, it's sometimes a struggle to not get left behind."

"I think you're worried about something that isn't going to happen. Perhaps it was true once, but I've watched the three of you train together. They've adapted themselves to keep you with them. I don't think either of them has any intention of leaving you behind." Hashirama told her kindly.

It seemed to work, as her smile was genuine and the faint air of melancholy was banished with it.

"You know, it's really a shame these gates don't stay open when you move around. It would mean a great boost in fighting power if they did." Sakura mused.

"They can, I think you just have to have opened the seventh first to learn the trick of it. The Air monks, before the genocide, used such a technique. Fire Nation attacked when a comet, that gave a boost to the firebenders power, was in the sky. It didn't matter. The monks were able to defeat ten to twenty times their number of super-charged firebenders. We never opened the seventh gate, so I never learned the trick of it. It isn't like any of us really needs all that extra power; it just isn't necessary where we're from." Tom shrugged. "I'm sure you'll all figure it out."

Sakura's eyes lit in glee and a wide, feral smile broke across her face.

"Hell yeah, I will, and when I do, Ino-pig is going down!"

"Ino…pig?" Hashirama asked.

"My best friend." Sakura said dismissively. "She's been slacking off lately, too busy batting her eyes at Sai-kun. It's my duty as her best friend and rival to grind her face into the dirt!" she growled, before throwing back her head and cackling in anticipation.

"That's true, isn't it?" Hashirama agreed, suddenly all smiles. "How foolish I've been, trying to resolve things by talking! Madara and I always communicated best through our fists!" he said with sudden cheer.

"Brother…" Tobirama warned.

"Can you at least go to the other side of the island and try not to kill us all?" Tom grumbled.

Hashirama looked sheepish. "Ah…yes, we do tend to get carried away, don't we? We'll limit it to taijutsu… well, no, that won't really work once we get into things… We'll go far away."

"Naruto might have a marker at the Valley of the End. We were there before we came here." Tom offered.

"Ah, that would be perfect. I can fix Madara's statue while I'm there… though really I should give him a bowl cut for being so unappreciative." Hashirama grumbled before running off.

Tom nodded and tried to figure where to go next, when something occurred to him.

"Why did they go to so much trouble… Well, I suppose they might have just been afraid of their spouse, but still, it seems like overkill… Unless…"

"Where are you running off to suddenly?" Sakura asked.

"I have to go look at some porn!" Tom called over his shoulder.

Sakura's face went scarlet and she sputtered. Tobirama frowned after him and nodded to himself.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go look at porn as well. I really hope there's a hidden jutsu in there somewhere." Tobirama grumbled.

Sakura's mind went blank as she tried to imagine what sort of 'hidden jutsus' might be in use in porn, and why they needed the both of them.

"It's official. I'm surrounded by perverts." she whispered to herself. It shamed her to admit it, but she was just a tiny bit curious. She looked around to see if anyone was watching and crept after them.

 

 

Hashirama grinned to himself when he saw the flash of light that signaled Madara's arrival with another Naruto clone, though he worked hard not to let it show on the outside.

"Why did you bring me here?"

"Madara! Look! I fixed the statue!"

Madara glanced at Hashirama curiously and then glanced up at the statues he'd last seen in Harry's genjutsu. Hashirama was hard pressed not to fall over laughing at the slow dawning horror that crept across the other man's face when he saw his handiwork. Madara's statue now sported a bowl cut, though he still had the long forelock that covered his one eye.

"Not your best look. And I thought you were scary looking before…" Hashirama teased, grinning at Madara slyly.

Madara for his part was nearly apopleptic with fury. "HASHIRAMAAAAAA!" he screeched, launching himself at the other man.

Hashirama just grinned and charged forward to meet him. The Naruto clones wisely got themselves out of the way, by sitting up on the statues' heads so they could watch the fight, though they also started gathering sage chakra so they could monitor the area and warn people off if they were headed this way. They'd only just gotten started and it was obvious to him at least that even kages likely wouldn't be safe in the middle of that battle. Heck, the two down below had made the valley they were currently in the last time they fought!  It wasn't every day that you got to watch two legends out of history battle it out. It was actually rather difficult to keep track of the combatants. The valley down below was now filled with a twisted, multi-layered forest, large parts of which were currently on fire. Between the fire, the smoke, and the trees themselves, it was hard to see anything except two quick-moving blurs beating the hell out of each other bouncing around down there.

"Hey…I think that creepy plant guy is here."

"Probably after Madara-nii!  We need to save him! Do you want to tell Harry-nii we lost him? I sure don't!"

"No way! Harry-nii will kill us!"

"Where…" He almost missed it, but yeah, there was a mind in the ground, and it was moving really fast towards the two fighting down below and they had no idea.

"Think our chains can get it? It's just willpower, right?"

"If anything we should be the perfect counter. Let's get that creep!"

"Yeah!"

The two clones quickly leapt down and started on a path to intercept, though they quickly found themselves having to leap out of the way of a tree and a giant fireball headed their way.

"What are you idiots doing?!" Madara yelled, shaking a fist at them.

"Boys! That was dangerous!" Hashirama chided at the same time.

The clones ignored them for the moment, as the plant guy was still making a beeline for Madara. It must have realized they were aware of it, as it suddenly halted and started in a different direction.

"I'll take that as confirmation." Naruto 1 said with satisfaction, driving his chains into the ground to chase the thing.

The second clone waited for his moment, then added his own to the mix when the first wasn't able to catch the thing. They played cat and mouse with the thing for several minutes, but then it disappeared from their senses.

"Where'd it go?"

"I dunno. Maybe it went deeper?"

"Could be. Protect Madara-nii."

"Right."

The clones layered their chains under and around Madara and stretched their senses to the max to search for any sign of the plant man returning.

"Think he gave up?"

"For the moment at least."

The clones traded a nod and released their chains back into themselves. When they looked back at the other two, Hashirama was in sage mode as well, with a fierce look upon his face that sit surprisingly well on him when one considered how goofy and cheerful he was normally. Madara had his arms crossed and seemed torn between being slightly freaked that the plant guy came for him and he didn't notice, and disgruntled that the others all acted like he needed to be protected like some sort of damsel in distress.

"You know what? Fuck that guy. Thinks he'll possess me again, does he? Fuck him. Take us back. We're going to show that creature he crossed the wrong shinobi." Madara growled.

"Probably a good idea. I don't like remaining out in the open." Hashirama nodded.

"Not you. You stay and fix that monstrosity first!"

Hashirama slumped down, depressed. "No appreciation. I wouldn't have done it if you hadn't of scorned my memorial."

"You dressed me in something I never would have worn and got my hair wrong! It's like you didn't remember me at all! Why should I be happy about that?"

Hashirama's shoulders slumped as Madara and one of the Naruto clones vanished, his comic depression vanished as though it had never been, leaving real depression in its wake.

"Um….there, there, grandpa."

"He said he doesn't hate me, but I'm beginning to think he was lying." Hashirama admitted.

"I don't think he hates you. He probably just has that weird thing with the weird name Harry-nii was telling me about." Naruto protested.

"Thing with the weird name?" Hashirama asked curiously.

"Yeah. When bad stuff happens to you it sort of sticks around sometimes even when it stops happening and makes you act weird and stuff. I dunno. Harry-nii and Sakura-chan were explaining it to me but I got distracted."

"You mean he has war fetters?"

"What's that then?"

"Pretty much what you just said without the weird name."

"Ah. So yeah, that. War fetters. That's easier to remember than whatever Harry-nii called it. It didn't even sound like a real word."

"He did grow up speaking a different language." Hashirama reminded him.

"Oh…right. I met him as a kid and he spoke like a normal person, so I sort of forgot that." Naruto realized.

"So… you think Madara has war fetters and doesn't hate me?" Hashirama brought them back to the subject at hand.

"Well sure! He still talks to you, he's just got a lot of touchy spots because he hasn't dealt with everything that happened. Harry-nii's been trying to get him to meditate with everyone else, but I think he doesn't really want to deal with everything yet, he just wants to hang out and pretend none of it ever happened, except you keep accidentally setting off stuff, so he gets mad and storms off, but he hasn't tried to kill you or anything…well, not until you gave him a bowl cut anyway." Naruto scoffed.

"Hmm. Perhaps you're right."

"Speaking of which…you should probably fix that."

"Yes, I suppose I should."

Hashirama put his hands together and looked up at the statue, trying to picture his friend clearly as he'd last seen him, and remembering his other complaint, made his clothing a bit plainer, without the trailing sleeves and long piece down the front under his armor, leaving him only in his customary Uchiha uniform and the armor he'd donned once he'd become a shinobi of Konoha…

Hashirama felt himself fixate on Madara's bare forehead and a new determination welled up within him. Now that he knew the true circumstances of his defection, it was obvious he wasn't a missing nin, he'd been kidnapped…spirit-napped? Bijuu-napped? Something, anyway. It hadn't been completely his fault, whatever his assertions to the contrary, and that should be recognized. Plus, they had made peace with one another, even if they still seemed to be somewhat at odds. That should be recognized as well. It took a moment's thought to add a Konoha headband to Madara's head, and to move their hands from the seal of confrontation to the seal of reconciliation.

He looked upon his changes and smiled happily, a warm feeling welling up in his heart. This was how they should always have been…would have been if not for that wretched beast.

"I like it." Naruto nodded. "I just hope nothing big comes sailing over the waterfall, or it's probably going to break your arms off."

"I'm sure it will be fine…and I like it better this way." Hashirama said quietly.

"Yeah." Naruto nodded. "His hair's still not quite right."

"Really? I guess it looks different from below. Those spikes of his are right at eye level for me, which is why I seem to focus on them so much. Madara thinks I don't remember him, but he's just not accounting for point of view. It’s not my fault he grew up to be so short!"

"He's not short, you're just freakishly tall!"

"Sorry." Hashirama said, slumping over.

"You should be" Naruto nodded. Hashirama pouted at him, but Naruto just snorted, so he straightened up, depression disappearing in an instant.

"So, his hair? Why is it so important? It looks like him! It's obvious who it's supposed to be!"

"Maybe it's not just about the hair. I dunno, maybe he just wants reassurance that he was important to you, and that you like, missed him and stuff. He was trapped in that cave all that time, lost in his regrets, thinking about everyone he lost. He probably ended up thinking about you a lot. You and Izuna. Izuna got himself reborn for a chance to save him. You're really only here because someone raised you as an Edo Tensei. You don't seem to regret killing him at all…"

"Of course I regret that it was necessary!"

"See, that's what I mean. It makes it sound like your regret is more about you than him. You regret having had to do it, but you don't actually regret doing it. You seem to not know much about his life even before he left the village… I'm not saying it's either right or fair, I'm just saying that's probably what it mostly has to do with. Maybe instead of trying to pretend the last years didn't happen, or that nothing changed… Maybe you just need to tell him, plainly, that you missed him or something." Naruto shrugged.

"He knows that!"

"Does he? All his complaints about the statue weren't really about it existing. What did he say? "It's like you don't remember me at all." He's saying you missed a made-up Madara that only exists in your head, not the real, actual, complicated guy, and he's asking for reassurance that it isn't true, that you miss actual him, and know him enough to know the difference. Well…that or he's being an enormous drama queen and making you chase him around because he's a Uchiha and they're bitchy like that sometimes." Naruto huffed.  "Though honestly, it often comes down to the same thing. ' _Show me you care enough about me to keep coming back'._ I lived with them for a while, so they never really did it to me or my cousins or my sister, because we were sort of theirs, ya know? Everyone else though… " Naruto trailed off in thought.

"Well, not Shino. He won't put up with the drama. He's an Aburame. He usually cuts through Sasuke's bullshit with _You are my friend and are being illogical. Why? I do not know why, because you are acting like a crazy person. Please cease and desist, for it would grieve me to sever our bonds, but I must think of the health of the millions of bugs that live in my belly, and your crazy phermones are disturbing them._ Or, ya know, something weird like that. The Inuzukas either. They're all about loyalty and pack bonds and what have ya, so once they're in they're golden. You don't really get a choice in the matter. Invite them to your house once, they show up randomly when they're hungry and start digging through your cabinets and join you for dinner. We used to get mad about it till we realized we could just go do it back to him if we ran out of food because he ate it all, and it was fine. In fact, if we told aunt Tsume she'd not only give us dinner but send us home with leftovers, so we don't really mind anymore. Well, uncle Fugaku did, but auntie Mikoto always thought Kiba was sweet, so he got to stay even if he made his 'I'm really grumpy' face. Oh, and Hinata. Even though she's a Hyuga they never chased her out, because Hinata is too kind and sweet to be mean to. She's also real polite and brings presents and likes most of the Uchihas more than she likes a lot of her clan…the elders, mostly, but that seems to be true for everyone. Something about getting old seems to make you evil or something…"

Hashirama blinked at the wall of words he'd been hit with and set a firm hand on Naruto's shoulder so he'd stop talking.

"So hunt him down, tell him I missed him. That's what you're saying?"

"Yeah! Weren't you listening?"

"Of course! I was just clarifying!"

"Oh. So, yeah. Tackle your Uchiha, tell him you missed him and hold on till he stops being a drama queen. Always works for me! Believe it!" Naruto said cheerfully, giving him a thumbs up.  "So…we should probably put these fires out, huh?"

"It's fine. It'll start raining soon enough. It always did when we fought. I used to tell him the heavens were weeping because we were at odds." Hashirama looked up, smiling nostalgically when the rains began to fall.

"And he was so moved you made peace?" Naruto asked, eyes sparkling.

"No. He gave me a lecture on how weather systems formed." Hashirama admitted sadly.

"Aa." Naruto nodded.

"Oh?"

"You seem to speak Uchiha pretty good, but you seem to miss some of the nuances, maybe because it's been a while. He was being a bitch there, because _Uchiha_ …but he was also saying _'give me something real'_. He didn't want pretty words or idealistic nonsense, he needed something quantifiable that he could put his trust in, or rather that he could ask the rest of his clan to put their trust in. They didn't know you except as an enemy, remember. Yeah, he was their leader, but if they could all still have chosen not to follow him because he didn't give them a good enough reason to change what they'd been doing so far. If he didn't think there were enough people willing to be persuaded he wouldn't have even bothered."

"You seem pretty sure about that. That's quite a lot to get from a lecture on how weather systems work." Hashirama noted.

"Madara's grandson is one of my best friends. We've been friends since we were little and went after that Danzo guy, and then on a team after. I've been with him through all kinds of stuff, good and bad, and see… Well, Uchiha are like cats, ya know?"

"Not…really?"

"Well, they're kind of prideful, so they act like stuck up bastards when there's people who aren't them around so they don't look dumb, because they're actually really goofy and all when you get to know them, ya know-- and they only let you see that part of them if you're theirs enough that you're one of them. They're also overly dramatic sometimes, and make things complicated and go nonverbal at inconvenient times, which means you have to learn to hear whole conversations in the silence sometimes. I always could with Sasuke, even before we were friends. Unless they're Shisui-niichan or Auntie Mikoto, or I guess Harry-nii who's sort of a Uchiha even if he's not anymore, they never just come out and say stuff, ya know? They grunt, or lecture you on the weather when it would be simpler to just say _'sounds lovely, give me statistics for why this would benefit my clan so I can convince the evil old people this is a good idea'_ , or _'I'm feeling uncertain and want you to tell me you missed me and that I mean as much to you as you do to me, because I'm just not feeling it here.'._ "

"Your Uchiha sounds like a complicated fellow. Madara is much more straightforward." Hashirama shook his head.

Naruto looked at him with pity. "I hate to break it to you, gramps, but either you've forgotten a lot about Uchiha wrangling, or you only ever heard half of what he was saying to you."

Hashirama frowned at him sharply as he grabbed his arm and whisked them both away.

 

 

"I never realized looking at porn could be so profitable." Sakura said happily as she, Tom and Tobirama made their way back to the cabin.

"Uh…what?!" Sasuke said in shock, nearly tripping over his own feet when he overheard her.

"No offense to either of you but… Sakura-san… Why would you sneak off into the ruins to look at porn with a gay man and a dead one? I mean… Surely your teammates aren't so objectionable?" Yuugito said uncomfortably.

"And if they are, it isn't like there aren't other men on the island, ones who are both alive and probably straight." Konan agreed.

Sakura, face flaming, dropped the scrolls she was carrying and began waving her arms in negation.

"N..no! It wasn't like THAT!"

"What was it like then?" Sasuke asked suspiciously.

"It was a key! It gave clues on how to open a hidden archive!" Sakura yelped, before scrambling to gather the scrolls she'd dropped as proof. "There was a tea set too!"

"Sure. Sounds legit." Roshi said dryly.

"It was actually very clever." Tobirama asserted.

"It was, actually. Their only mistake was going to such trouble to hide it. It would have been better to leave it in a more expected sort of hiding place. You know, sock drawer, behind the toilet, under the bed. The usual places. In fact, if I didn't do this sort of thing so often I might have missed it. I was impressed. It was a rather creative way to hide things." Tom agreed cheerfully.

A few of them glanced over idly when a flash of light signaled Madara and a Naruto clone's return, but then quieted down when Madara's angry chakra washed over them like the promise of an angry thunderstorm.

Harry suddenly appeared before the two of them with an angry thunderclap, sword in hand, obviously looking for enemies to smite. Tobirama facepalmed as, in a strange mirror of when he'd arrived, Madara sheepishly held up his hands in a quelling motion, obviously hoping to stave off a mama-bear rampage. Harry ignored him and looked at Naruto expectantly.

"Creepy ink blot guy tried to steal him while he was sparring with grandpa." Naruto promptly confessed.

Madara sighed and patiently allowed Harry to stare into each of his eyes and scan him over for any traces of possession.

"Alright, enough. I'm fine. It fled Fishcake's chains. It obviously wasn't expecting to be noticed. I can't let this go unanswered though. We're getting the captured bijuu out now."

"We haven't finished our training yet though." Aki reminded him.

"What are we supposed to do with them once they're out?" Kakashi asked.

"They can keep Isobu company." Madara said dismissively. "Unless it's been able to scrounge up a few extra S-class nins in the last few days, the only pawn it has left is Obito. The white zetsu are actually fairly weak and stupid. It's really only their numbers that would be of any concern, and we already saw in Suna that so long as Hashirama is around they're no threat."

"Perhaps we should." Tobirama allowed. "We intended to rescue them regardless. So long as they remain with the statue, the creature has both its body and a fraction of its chakra to use."

"I'll need my chakra unsealed again" Nagato reminded them "And once I call the statue to us Obito" he hesitated slightly on the name as he'd known him as 'Madara' these many years "will be able to see us and know where we are."

"It might draw him out and allow us to capture him." Kakashi pointed out. "If it does, the consciousness will be left with no more allies--which means as soon as we destroy the statue it's all over."

Kakashi and Tenzo traded a look, then Kakashi nodded at Harry.

"Do it." Harry approached Nagato and tapped the back of his neck, removing the binding seal on his chakra.


	11. Bijuu, Byakugans, and the Man in the Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black Zetsu makes a surprising move, Hinata is a BAMF

"Good gracious! What is that thing?!" Hashirama gasped upon seeing the towering monstrosity in the middle of the island.

"That would be the thing that possessed me, killed those two and ruined his life." Madara scoffed, pointing to himself, Fu, Han and Nagato respectively.

"I hadn't realized quite how big it would be. It's larger than the nine-tails and it's only the head and hands." Hashirama said faintly.

Nagato conferred with Madara briefly then did hand-signs. Hashirama, Tobirama, Tenzo and Kakashi all tensed as the bit fell away from the thing's mouth and energy began to seep out.

"Chomei!" Fu called as the energy began to coalesce.

"Fu-chan?" the seven-tailed rhinoceros beetle said groggily. "What…?"

"We're rescuing you!" Fu said cheerfully. "I'm dead though. See Aki here? He's going to be your new host. He's been training really hard so you two can work together well when the time comes."

"You're dead? How awful! Something like that shouldn't happen to the host of lucky seven! It's unjust!" Chomei gasped.

"Sorry I wasn't stronger." Fu said sadly.

B started sniffling when Chomei began sobbing on Fu's shoulder, and patting her with a few of its tails/wings. Yuugito elbowed him to make him stop as she refused to be so emotional. She had to look away as Naruto got wobbly lipped and threw himself on Gaara, who patted him on the shoulder, and Aki threw himself on Fu to cry about how she was too nice to be dead. Haku sniffled and Utakata began looking stoic, while Roshi and Kitsuchi crossed their arms and frowned. Another mass of energy began to form at the mouth and Han stepped forward, only to freeze, as did the rest of the crowd, when a sudden flash of light in their midst distracted everyone and they saw Tobirama in front of Hashirama getting his soul ripped out by a masked man. The crowd barely had a chance to cry out in protest when the masked man staggered back, clutching at the eye socket of his mask and golden chains erupted from the ground to wrap around and bind him.

"Damn it. That thing got away again." Naruto growled, tightening his hold on Obito and pinning him securely in place.

Tobirama's ghost gestured for Kakashi to hold out his hand, dropping a somewhat bloody sharingan eye on to his palm when he did so, before sinking down into his body.

"You can do Dan Kato's ghost technique?" Kakashi said, curiously blank. Tobirama sat up and glowered at him.

"I INVENTED that technique, stripling. That's it. When we're done, we're going to the village and I'm going to post a list of my jutsus that I invented along with a reminder that people may have USED them but they're still MY JUTSU. Then, I'm going to stand next to it and be very judgmental." he growled as he stood.

"What's going on?" the five tailed dolphin horse asked curiously.

"We've come to rescue you." Han told it.

"Oh! Kokuo! We're free! See! I told you Fu and…Han, was it? I told you they wouldn't just abandon us in that terrible place! And look! All of us are all here together! Ooh, even Kurama and Shukaku are here! And they're hugging! It's a day for miracles!" Chomei gushed. "Your hosts are. It amounts to the same thing." the bug then said to some unheard howls of protest from the bijuu in question.

Haku glanced at the masked man, who was currently sitting still and docile in his golden chains. Kakashi was still more or less frozen in place, clutching the eyeball he'd been given and staring at the masked man. Haku found himself glad that Hatake-san covered so much of his face. From what little could be seen, he looked like a man who had received an unexpected glimpse of heaven after a lifetime in hell. It was too raw for public consumption.

"Why don't all of us and our new friends join Isobu and we can catch them up on everything they've missed." he suggested.

"Yes, probably a good idea." Kitsuchi agreed.

Madara broke the frozen tableau by moving forward and removing the mask from Obito. Deep furrows scarred half his face in a half-spiral pattern, much like the mask he'd typically worn until changing to one with two eyeholes upon his acquisition of the Rinnegan. With his Rinnegan suppressed, a single dark-grey eye stared back at Madara hopelessly, his face slack, betrayed and disbelieving.

"Ancestor, why?" he asked weakly. "I was going to fix everything! A world of truth, where there were only winners! A world of true peace where Rin…" his voice broke and his face screwed up in anguish. "Why? Why did you betray us? Betray me! I was doing what you wanted!"

Madara sighed heavily and rested his hand on Obito's head. The broken, bitter man in front of him was worlds away from the child he'd first met, who even with half his body destroyed had been full of faith, hope and optimism. His only sin had been having the bad luck to cross his path when Zetzu had needed a new tool to wield. He'd had no direct hand in destroying Nagato. Obito, however, he'd prepped and made ready for Zetsu's use, and while the greater part of him wanted only to help an injured clansman, a child abandoned on a battlefield somewhere, a part of him had known Obito's eventual fate and hadn't cared at the time. It had all seemed worth it--a perfect world, and an end to the pain and the darkness that had seemingly encompassed his whole existence. He had comforted himself that the child would only be disappointed with the world as it was, and so really he was doing him a favor by giving him something to look forward to. More even than that, it meant he could finally rest, and he really had been so, so very tired, even if all he did was sleep. He'd felt like his very existence had been worn thin like old cloth and he was beginning to crumble away.

"Oh, child, I am so, so sorry." he said quietly.

"You're sorry? What do I care for that? Rin is still gone, this world is still hell and you've taken away the only way I could MAKE IT BETTER! TO HELL WITH YOU AND YOUR SORRY! YOU BASTARD! GIVE IT BACK! GIVE ME WHAT YOU PROMISED! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE!" Obito screamed.

"I know. I'm sorry." Madara repeated.

He gently gripped his face in both hands and tilted his face up so he could catch his remaining eye with his sharingan. He had a lot of information to share, and couldn't be bothered to talk it out. Leave that to non-Uchihas. Poor bastards--stuck chattering at each other for hours every time they wanted to know something. It must be exhausting. While Madara and Obito were staring at each other, unmoving, a flash of light to the side drew everyone's attention.

"Hokage-sama!" Sakura said in surprise.

"Aniki. Shisui." Sasuke nodded.

Hashirama recognized the nice Uchiha boy that had broken the snake-man's control last time he'd been called as an Edo Tensei, along with another Uchiha boy who had eyes only for Obito…though he did keep sneaking peeks at Madara as well, so he smiled and waved.

"Hello! Your grandfather told me you'd become Hokage! Congratulations! He's so very proud!"

"Lord First, Lord Second, it's good to see both of you as well." Itachi nodded.

"What brings both of you here?" Tobirama asked.

"Naruto-kun" Itachi nodded to the clone who'd brought them along "mentioned that you'd managed to subdue our cousin. We came to ascertain his status." Itachi answered.

"Surely the status of a single prisoner doesn't require the personal attentions of the Hokage?"

"Family is important…and I'm a clone."

Hashirama bit his lip and looked away so Tobirama wouldn't see him grinning. Itachi seemed to have the same judgmental eyebrow his brother did…and his brother seemed to take it about as well as other people did when he used it on them.

"Why are they just staring at each other?" Sakura wondered as the minutes ticked by.

Itachi, Shisui, Sasuke, Naruto, Harry and Tom stared at her blankly, as though they couldn't comprehend the question.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Geez. No wonder you have so much trouble speaking Uchiha. He's catching him up on all he missed and explaining stuff to him. It's taking longer than usual because Obito keeps arguing with him." Naruto finally replied.

Sakura eyed them suspiciously. "Is this why you lot go nonverbal sometimes? You're actually all chatting up a storm, but you're doing it by genjutsu?"

"Hn." the Uchihas all grunted.

Madara and Obito stirred and Madara stepped back, while Obito slumped in his bonds, looking stunned and lost.

"Cousin?" Shisui said quietly as he moved into his view. "Do you remember me?"

Obito's gaze slowly sharpened on Shisui and he stared at him blankly for a long moment before recognition dawned.

"Shisui? Little Shisui?"

Shisui gave him a tearful smile and threw his arms around him.

"Obito-nii! It's so amazing to see you! I was so upset when you never came back from your last mission. A few weeks after, I saw elder Kaede struggling with groceries, and I thought you'd probably want me to help people like you always did, but they kept asking where you were and I kept crying…so they'd end up giving me cookies to cheer me up, and then I got sick because I had too many cookies, so Auntie Mikoto and Auntie Kasumi started visiting all the old folks and telling them I wasn't allowed to help anymore because they were worried about my health, and it was awful!..."

Obito simply sat there, rather stunned, as Shisui sobbed all over him, and didn't seem quite sure how to react. Madara, the jerk, grinned at him and patted his head in a really condescending way, then moved aside for Itachi, who nodded respectfully.

"Madara-sama."

"Hokage-sama." Madara nodded back, equally respectful, giving his great-great-grandson a small grin before letting him take his place near Obito.

"Itty-bitty Itachi? You're the HOKAGE? Oh my god!" Obito said in stunned disbelief.

"It's good to have you back with us, cousin."

Hashirama had been paying attention to everything that was going on, and was rather moved by young Shisui's innocent grief and relief, but a large part of his mind had been ruminating on the revelation that apparently Uchihas as a rule regularly conversed via genjutsu. Genjutsu was an art he'd never had much facility with, as that had been his cousin Toka's specialty not his. This, combined with Naruto's earlier assertion that he'd not been hearing a lot of what Madara had tried telling him over the years, and his urging to simply tell Madara outright how he felt and reassure him, lit a new fire in him after his earlier disappointment at how badly their sparring match had ended. His disappointment with how all their recent conversations had ended, actually. Enough was enough. They were slowly but surely getting closer to putting an end to the threat to the world, and then they'd be dead again. He kept feeling like if they didn't settle things before that happened, this rift would remain forever. He'd not found the words to keep him by his side years ago when their families had found them at the riverside. He hadn't been able to keep him in the village and allowed him to drift away to be used and tormented for years. More and more, he was beginning to feel that if he failed to truly reconcile the two of them before passing from this world, there would never be another chance to do so; it would really, truly be over this time. There was no time like the present--and hadn't he even recently thought to himself that he'd perhaps too often let the people he loved fall to the bottom of the list when it came to 'important things' that needed dealing with?

_"In fact…I did it to Madara pretty much the moment I arrived here, didn't I? My first thought was that I had been summoned again to destroy Konoha. When Madara tried to speak to me, I cut him off and told him I'd deal with him later…and ended up setting off young Hari's rather explosive temper. I never knew Izuna well enough to say if that was typical for him… though given Madara seemed unsurprised and had already moved to snag the back of his shirt long before he lunged at me, perhaps it was. In fact…maybe I've been looking at this all wrong? I've been hurt, and yes, even a little angry that he left me that day at the riverside, that he didn't choose me like I'd chosen him. Maybe for him it wasn't a matter of not choosing me, but of choosing to protect the reality he believed in-- his one, still-living brother-- and not to wager it on an unrealized dream without anything more substantial to back it up. He wanted something real, not just pretty words, according to Naruto. I've been angry at him for a long time for leaving the village, and leaving me again when our dream was finally realized… But for him, the dream never truly became a reality. He wanted peace for his brother, but Izuna didn't live to see the creation of the village. And also… by the time he left… I had chosen everyone and everything but him again and again and again, hadn't I? Those are his last real memories of me. That's what Naruto-kun was trying to get me to see. That's the damage I need to undo. He apologized, in his own way for his part in things and how it all ended, and I forgave him. I never apologized to him for how I failed him in turn--I only expressed remorse for the necessity, not that I'd actually killed him… Perhaps he really doesn't know how his loss affected me."_

Neville had fetched a jar to put Obito's eye in so it wasn't just being held in Kakashi's sweaty hand. Kakashi tucked the jar away and went back to wistfully watching Obito from beyond the ring of doting Uchiha cousins.

The jinchuuriki and bijuu had gathered in a group on the shore of the bay so Isobu could join them and were talking quietly amongst themselves.

Tobirama, Tenzo Nagato and Konan were sitting quietly in the shadow of the statue, keeping an eye on both groups and discussing whatever Tom was finding as he scanned it.

Harry, Neville, Luna, and Sakura sat a short distance from them, watching and listening to all three groups talking. Everyone seemed to be occupied, and Madara was wandering from the Uchiha group towards the statue group, probably to find out what they were up to. Hashirama realized he'd probably not have a better opportunity. He moved to intercept Madara, and they ended up standing in the center of all the groups but part of none, though Hashirama ignored them, as he was too focused on his old friend to pay any of them much mind. Madara tried to rear back when he was suddenly in front of him, but Hashirama got a good grip on both his shoulders before he could flee.

"Hashirama…what?!" Madara growled as he tried to twist out of his grasp.

Mokuton shackles erupted from the ground beneath him to hold his feet in place as well. He wasn't going to let the man storm off again until he'd had his say and made him listen--a job made a thousand times more difficult by his actions, it would seem, if the outraged face Madara was making was any clue.

"Do you really not know what you mean to me?"

"Um…would you guys like some privacy?" Roshi said uncomfortably.

"Hashirama, what are you babbling about? Let me go!"

"Do you really think our friendship meant nothing to me? Do you not know what it did to me when I lost you?"

"I'm not leaving." Fu admitted in a carrying whisper.

"Me either." Yuugito agreed, somewhat embarrassed.

"When you killed me, you mean."

"You attacked the village with the nine-tails and took a bite out of my arm. I'm not going to apologize for that."

"You stabbed me in the back."

"We're shinobi…and you're changing the subject! Would you just listen!"

"We've already been over all of this!"

"Um…guys?" Naruto spoke up "I just got an update from my clones in Konoha. That black thing just attacked Hanabi-chan and stole her eyes!"

"Who's Hanabi-chan?" Gaara asked curiously.

"She's Hinata's little sister."

"Hanabi Hyuga" Sakura interjected "Younger daughter of the clan-head, Hiashi-sama."

"That thing stole her eyes? What the hell for? I mean, no offense to the Hyugas and all, but what use is a pair of Byakugan going to be for that thing?" Shisui wondered.

"There must be something we're missing if this is it's back-up plan." Itachi realized. "It must know some way to make use of those eyes that we're unaware of. It's the only explanation. It has no chakra of its own, so it can't use them itself, and it didn't possess the Hyuga girl to make regular use of them for it--not that a normal jyuken user, a child at that, would be a good counter to anyone on this island."

"Do you think that fellow Izuna mentioned might know something?" Tom wondered. "The one that had him reincarnate? He was around at the beginning of all these events. It's possible he'll have some idea of what the thing is trying to accomplish."

"That's not a bad idea. Is the ring still upstairs?" Harry wondered, climbing to his feet.

"Yes, it should be."

"We should probably get away from the statue. If it's that thing's body, for all we know it could monitor us through it." Kakashi realized.

"Good point. Everyone inside." Tenzo concurred.

The bijuu traded a look and Isobu motioned for Naruto to come closer. After talking to all of them briefly, he disappeared with them one by one into the ocean room inside the cabin. Kokuo and Chomei had only just gotten out of the thing; they had no desire to be left alone with it and maybe get eaten again. Obito was released from his chains and followed after everyone else, still looking a bit lost, though his eyes narrowed on Kakashi's back when he spotted him. Even knowing their teammate, Rin, may have been possessed or genjutsued to commit suicide, he still couldn't quite forgive Kakashi for having been the one to end her life.

Madara tried to follow everyone, only to find his feet were still shackled to the ground.

"Hashirama, undo your jutsu this instant, or I'm setting us all on fire."

"No. I said I wanted to talk to you and I'm going to do so. Everyone else can wait. There's enough people in there already; we can just find out whatever they've learned afterwards if we need to. I realized earlier that I spent too much of my life setting aside my relationships with my important people because there was always something else to worry about…and perhaps I shouldn’t have? Of course, at the time, if I hadn't …people I cared about might have died, or the village might have fallen apart… I guess there's really no perfect answer. We're dead now though… the truth is, it's up to all of them now to solve whatever problem comes up. What that means is that, no, I'm not going to set aside our conversation until some other time. I know all too well from when I was alive that something else always comes up, and when you finally get around to it it might be too late. I let you slip through my fingers and didn't realize it. I didn't worry when I was constantly being drug away to deal with other things because I was foolish enough to think there'd always be more time to fix things if there was a problem. Foolishly, I also assumed that if there was a problem it could be solved by talking through it… Instead, you left and returned as an enemy, and we ended up battling to the death for three days."

Hashirama looked at him imploringly, but Madara remained seemingly expressionless--not that he could see much of him behind the great mop of hair he sported, which covered half his face at the best of times. He couldn't even see that much of him, with the way his face was tilted down. With that thought in mind he pushed his hair back away from his face so he could see him properly, then got distracted when Madara's whole face went red.

"How are you doing that? We don't have any blood, and this isn't real skin…" Hashirama murmured, distracted.

Madara flailed a bit in place and tried to move out of his reach, then tried to push him back when he remembered he couldn't, but Hashirama had grabbed hold of his upper arms once he'd dealt with his hair, and proved himself to be as stubborn and immovable as an old oak tree.

"Damn you, Hashirama!"

"Stop that. I'm not going anywhere and neither are you, not until we have this out!"

"What are you even talking about? There's nothing to have out!"

"Yes there is! I feel like we're not even friends anymore. It's awful having you so close and still feeling like you're a million miles away!"

"Hashirama… What were you expecting? For us to sit around braiding each other's hair? What more do you want?"

"I don't know! To feel like we're truly on the same side again? I just know that this isn't it. You keep saying I don't even remember you. Do you really think that? Do you really not understand the effect losing you had on me? Every time, not just the last. When we were kids at the riverside… You broke my heart, you know. I had thought we were on the same page, united in common purpose, and then you turned your back on me and our dreams just like that. I barely spoke to my brother for weeks afterwards…"

"Ungrateful fool. That's how you repaid him for trying to protect you?"

"But he…"

"Is a powerful sensor. Do you think he wasn't aware of Izuna spying on us as well? What would have happened had he and your father not shown up that day? I'll tell you what. It would have been you versus me, my father and brother, that's what!"

"But you wouldn't…"

"Wouldn't what? What happened that day was the best possible outcome. Had either of our brothers decided to keep our secret, the other would have been outnumbered and probably died that day. As it was we all got away without bloodshed. We always knew our time together at the river were all stolen moments, and sooner or later real life would intrude. I wish it had taken longer, but it was always going to end that way. I would have tried to talk my father down, but without your father and brother there to counter mine he likely wouldn't have listened…and I'm sorry, Hashirama, but there is no universe where I'd have willingly killed either of them, or even just seriously hurt them to protect someone else…even if that someone else was you. Surely you understand that. You wouldn't kill your brother when I told you to, nor had I ever expected you to."

"Maybe you're right, but then we finally made peace between our clans and I lost you again. You've given me the impression you think I killed you and just went home and went about my life. I didn't. I couldn't. I felt like I was walking around in a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from. I was numb for weeks. It was like all the color had drained out of the world. I tried to tell myself that it was necessary, tried to remind myself that I'd killed a lot of people in my life, usually with far less cause…but it didn't help at all. I still wonder that I ever actually found the resolve to strike you down, because if anyone had asked, I would have told them it was something I could never, would never do, and I'd have been telling the truth so far as I knew it. Going back to Konoha afterwards was the second hardest thing I'd ever done. The first was striking you down in the first place. I never really recovered from our fight. Weeks later when I seemingly got sick… I know now that thing was draining my power out of me. Part of me still wonders if I could have fought back against what it was doing, but I never quite found the will to even try, so I still don't know. As I lay dying, I remember thinking that I would see you again, and it made me happy. Instead…you were off trapped in a cave somewhere, and I'd never even known something was wrong until you left the village. I wasn't able to turn you from your path, and I couldn't help you. Having the chance like this to see you again and try to make things right has been an unexpected dream…well, once I was certain I hadn't been called back to destroy Konoha, anyway. At least, it would have been if it didn't still feel like there was a huge gulf between us. Don't keep shutting me out, Madara!"

"Tell me Hashirama…did you miss your childhood friend or your made-up symbol for the pathway to world peace?"

Hashirama's face grew mournful and he seemed to collapse against his friend as he embraced him desperately.

"If I didn't already want that ten tails removed from the world, this would be enough to ensure I felt that way. I hate that that thing made you doubt me so very much. You were my best friend. I loved you. I missed you terribly every time we were parted. I missed your weird quirks, and your kindness which you always tried to downplay. I missed competing with you, and arguing with you. I missed just being with you. From the time we first met, I felt an empty space in me that I had never been aware of before had been filled. I was happy each day I knew I would see you. We didn't even have to be doing anything in particular, just having you there was enough. I wanted you to be the Hokage because I wanted to give you something to hold on to. You always had such a tremendous capacity to care, and such a fierce instinct to protect… I thought it would help fill some of the wounds left by your brother's demise. I should have just gone along with my first instinct instead of letting Tobirama talk me out of it. That was my mistake. I should have fought harder for you. I was never like you, Tobi or Mito though…you all enjoyed arguing in a way I never did. While I would argue once in a while, it never really seemed to get me anywhere, and so I usually preferred not to rock the boat if I didn't have to. I wanted peace so much that I guess I grew a bit obsessed. I wanted it all right away. Perhaps that was our mistake, really. We tried to do too much in one lifetime. We should have made a start and left it to the next generation to take it further. I should have done that and then spent more time with you, just enjoying the bit of peace we had managed to create, like I wanted to so many times but didn't, because there were always too many concerns pulling my attention in all directions. I can't change any of it now though. Our story has already be written. I still want to change the ending though. As proud as I was of what we did manage to accomplish… when you left, it took a lot of the shine off things. It was our dream together, and I wanted that peace for us to share. There were so many times when I was stuck in the office behind a mountain of paperwork, or stuck in endless meetings---I'd wonder where you were, and what you were doing. I wanted, so many times to just leave all of it behind and find you and just spend the day together, but I always stayed where I was and did as I was told. There's a part of me that regrets that, still. I missed you, Madara. I missed you."

The tension that had remained in Madara all through Hashirama's speech seemed to vanish and he sagged slightly into Hashirama's embrace, and finally deigned to embrace him in turn, burying his face in his friend's neck as a shudder that seemed soul deep trembled through him. Hashirama clutched at him tighter, and found himself wishing the unnatural body he found himself in could cry and release some of the tension.

"I missed you too, Hashirama" Madara said so quietly he nearly missed the words. "So very, very much."

Hashirama felt a new resolve come over him, and the last of the disquiet in his heart vanished as he made his decision.

"Your brother-in-law said you're going with them back to their world when all this is over."

He could feel Madara's nod against his neck and shoulder. "I'm coming with you." he decided.

"But…the village? I wouldn't think you'd…"

"The village seems to be in good hands, and even if it weren't…"

Hashirama pulled back until he could see Madara's face once more and he smiled ruefully.

"All the times in my life that I was happiest, you were there. Also when I was most miserable, but I'm hopeful we can avoid some of that on the next go-round." Hashirama added, grinning at Madara's glare. "I want us to have a second chance." he admitted, leaning in till their foreheads pressed together.

 

 

 

"Hokage-sama!" Hinata said in surprise when Itachi walked in to her sister's hospital room. 

Her eyes were red-rimmed and she was clinging to her little sister's hand.  Hanabi herself looked terribly small and young in her hospital bed, her now-empty eye sockets swathed in bandages.  She seemed to be sleeping at the moment.  That was perhaps for the best. 

Hiashi-sama, Hanabi and Hinata's father, looked as stern and distant as always, but there was a fragile weariness and sense of helplessness around him even so.  The last visitor in the room, Neji--son of Hiashi's twin brother Hizashi, and cousin to the two girls, moved up behind Hinata and put his hands on her shoulders in support when Hiashi sat up straighter and asked  "Have you news for us, Hokage-sama?"

"I do indeed.  We know who the culprit is, and where he has gone,  and for what reason he stole your daughter's eyes.  A task force is already on its way to retrieve them." Itachi nodded.

"I want to help them." Hinata said fiercely. 

"I'm glad to hear that.  The task force is, some would say, quite overpowered for the task they were set, but they're still lacking one important component--none there are of the bloodline of Homura Ootsutsuki." 

He gestured to the doorway and a Naruto clone  as well as Sai Uchiha stepped through.   Naruto waved at them after casting a stricken look at Hanabi on the bed.  Hinata frowned slightly at Naruto's red hair, but then scolded herself internally for focusing on unimportant matters when the Earth was in danger and her sister had no eyes.

"Take me then.  I wasn't there to stop this from happening in the first place.  All I can do is avenge her.  I will do whatever is needed." Hinata asserted. 

"Wherever Hinata-sama goes, I go as well." Neji added quietly. 

Hinata smiled at him, and seemed to draw strength from his steady, steadfast presence beside her.  Neji, as always seemed to happen, got lost in her smile for a moment, before resolutely turning away to focus on the others in the room. 

Hiashi looked between the two of them and his eyebrows rose just a tiny bit, and a small, thoughtful smile creased his face.

"You two need to destroy the tenseigan. It is a weapon of the Ootsutsuki clan that powers the stronghold and the puppet army that guards it,  and can be used to destroy the earth should they so will it.  The consciousness of the ten tails has possessed the last member of the Ootsutsuki clan that remains on the moon.  Hanabi-chan's eyes were stolen so Toneri Ootsutsuki can awaken Homura's doujutsu.  The tenseigan weapon is held on a floating island that encircles the moon, inside the temple there.  Sai will be accompanying you to provide transport to the temple while everyone else holds off Toneri and his puppet army." Itachi explained. 

"Then let us away." Neji nodded. 

"Everyone hold on." Naruto directed them.  Once everyone was in place, they vanished in a flash of red light.

 

"They make a good team, don't they?" Hiashi mused, still a bit startled by his recent revelation. 

"I don’t wish to overstep my boundaries here, Hiashi-dono, but would you allow me to give a word of advice?" Itachi asked.

Hiashi blinked and looked at him in surprise.

"I am always willing to hear the wisdom of the Hokage." Hiashi nodded, voice just the tiniest bit dry.

 Itachi sighed internally.  He was probably the only young man in the world that actually looked forward to growing old and grey--it would make dealing with the clan heads so much easier.  At least his active ninjas listened to him without sass.

"I was just going to say that I would hold off on any betrothals for the time being.  At this point, I would say most of the people in the village who have ever seen the two of them together are aware of Neji's feelings…all except two.  Hinata herself, and Naruto, who is the reason Neji holds himself back.  Until and unless that changes, I feel you would be creating heartache unnecessarily should you act now."

Hiashi sighed.  "Naruto? I can't imagine a less Hyuga-like person." he said wryly.  "Why does my eldest daughter insist on being such a rabble-rousing rebel?" he wondered, voice plaintive. 

Itachi had to bite his lip slightly so he wouldn't laugh.  He didn't think anyone who had ever met Hinata--quiet, soft-spoken, shy, gentle Hinata--would have ever thought to describe her as a 'rabble rousing rebel'…except for the Hyuga clan, who were actually as uptight as the Uchiha clan pretended to be. 

"It's just something to think about." Itachi murmured, patting Hiashi's shoulder once he was sure his voice wouldn't give away that he was laughing inside. 

 

 

 

Hinata and Neji both put their Byakugan on the moment they stopped.

"Wh-where are we?" Hinata asked.

"In a cave passageway that's supposed to lead to the moon." Sakura answered.  "Come on.  The others went ahead already." she explained as the Naruto clone popped.  "We need to dive into this lake here.  Don't worry, the water, or whatever it is, is weird.  It doesn't get you wet." she told Sai, before diving in.  His jutsu all required ink and scrolls--getting them all wet before a major battle wasn't the best idea.  Once assured, he dove in without further ado, Neji and Hinata right on his heels, following Sakura, who they could see up ahead.  Neji faltered briefly.

_He was four, standing with his father and facing his uncle.  A little girl in a pink kimono peeked out from behind his uncle's knee, then squeaked and hid her face when she realized he was looking at her._

_"This is lady Hinata.  Lady Hinata is three today.  You'll be her protector." his father told him.  Neji couldn't help but smile at the younger girl.  After a moment, she peeked out and smiled back._

_"She's cute, dad!" he whispered to his father._

_"What is…  this… this was YEARS ago!  I'm…  I'm on a mission! Oh no!  Hinata-sama! KAI!"_

The genjutsu broke.  He looked around wildly and saw Sakura disrupting the jutsu on Sai.  A moment later, he saw Hinata, floating motionless and staring at nothing.  He swam to her and jolted her with a bit of his chakra to break the jutsu's hold.  Hinata blinked and looked around confused for a moment before focusing on Neji. 

"Neji-nissan! I… I didn't even notice." she said in a small voice.

"Do you remember the first time we met, on your third birthday? You were dressed in pink, and you smiled at me."

Hinata looked at him in surprise.  He remembered what she'd been wearing?

"On that day two things happened.  I got this seal." he pointed to his forehead, where the caged bird seal was hidden by his forehead protector "and I was asked to be your protector.  I promised to do so to the best of my ability.  You will always be safe so long as I'm around, so long as I have blood in my body."

Hinata stared at him in mute surprise as a warm feeling welled in her chest.

"Come.  We should keep moving."

"R-right." Hinata nodded.  She watched Neji's long hair flow behind him for a moment before resolutely focusing on the mission at hand. 

 

 

 

"By the sage." Neji said in shock when they finally arrived.  The scene was pandemonium.  Everywhere they looked there was fire, and lava, and sand and trees, and water and ice, and golden chains…  what looked to be the remains of a hundred or so puppets lay strewn across the grounds, but more kept coming. 

"I think they'll be fine without our help.  We have our own mission in any case." Sai reminded him.

"Yes.  Let's find that temple." Hinata agreed. 

Sai drew and animated a large bird, and the three hopped on and set off into the air. 

"I feel a little bad.  Hokage-sama said the man that lives here was possessed.  We're destroying his home." Hinata said quietly as they flew away.

"They had a weapon with which to destroy the earth if they chose." Neji reminded her.  "Better we do so now before this place is turned on us."

"I suppose.  Still, it seems a shame."

"Does that look like a temple to you?" Sai asked, pointing to one of the larger meteors that seemed to be circling through the sky. 

"Yes, yes it does."

"Alright.  Here we go." Sai said as he pointed the bird that way. 

When they landed, all three charged into the temple, only to skid to a stop as yet more puppets came out to confront them.

"Leave this to me.  You two have a job to do." Sai said with an eager smile, his brush already dancing across his scroll. 

Giant bears, dragons and tigers leapt off the page and charged at the puppets. 

Neji grabbed Hinata's hand and pulled her after him towards the glowing doorway they could see beyond.  He let go when two puppets peeled off from those facing Sai's ink clones and they spun in unison to blast a chakra-fueled palm through the puppets' chests, tearing a hole and sending the remains of the  puppets careening into the wall where they shattered.

The orb they finally confronted looked like a giant, glowing Byakugan, but with a starburst pattern across the front.

"Together, then?" Hinata asked as her _Twin lion fist_ technique formed around her hands.  Neji glanced at her hands and did it as well.  Hinata looked at him in surprise.  Neji shrugged slightly with one shoulder and smiled wryly. 

"Sometimes the teacher learns from the student as well.  On three?"

"One" Hinata said with a small smile.

"Two" Neji agreed.

"Three" they said in unison as they leapt up, fists driving down into the glowing orb below them. 

The orb shattered, and thousands of smaller orbs were released and began to float in the air around them.

"These are…"

"Byakugans" Hinata finished in a whisper, covering her mouth for a moment and shuddering. "Why would they do this? Are Hanabi's…?"

"No." Neji shook his head after considering it a moment.  "Hokage-sama said those were stolen so Toneri could awaken Homura Ootsutsuki's doujutsu.  Her eyes at least are not here."

"Then we're not finished yet."

"I'm sure the others have captured him by now.  This thing was supposed to be powering everything up here…somehow." Neji told her.

They both looked around at all the floating eyeballs and drew a blank as to how an orb full of eyeballs equaled power for a city and an army of puppets. Hinata shook her head and focused back on the mission.

"Let's go find the others then." Hinata nodded.

"I take it you succeeded?" Sai asked when they returned.  "All the puppets that hadn't been destroyed yet just suddenly dropped down, lifeless."

"We succeeded.  Let's find the others and get Hanabi-sama's eyes back."

 

 

 

"They sound like they're up ahead.  They really made quite a mess, didn't they?" Sai chuckled.  He stiffened then and turned to face the right.  As soon as he'd first reacted, Neji and Hinata had both put on their Byakugan and spun to flank him, already in stance for the gentle fist. 

"Byakugan princess." the pale man said as he stepped out of the castle into view.  "I had planned to go fetch you soon so we could be married, but instead you've come to me.  A sign, truly."

"Like hell!" Neji snarled.

Toneri frowned at Neji, his lip curling in a sneer. 

"Be silent, branch-house, this is no concern of yours!" he scoffed, raising his hand in a familiar gesture. 

Neji stiffened, impotent fury seizing him.  Hinata moved, striking hard and true--a direct blow to the heart before Toneri could activate Neji's seal.

"Don't you dare touch him!" Hinata snarled at the man as he slowly fell to his knees and coughed up blood.  "The only thing I want from you is my sister's eyes back!"

Toneri stared at her with blank confusion. 

"Byakugan princess…supposed to be…mine.  Des..tiny." he muttered as he coughed up more blood.

"I don't believe in destiny." Hinata growled. 

Her hands struck out one, then the other.  Toneri stared at her with his empty eye sockets and then fell over, dead.

"Hinata-sama." Neji said, sounding almost reverent. 

Hinata's heart gave an odd thump at the sound.  To keep from dealing with it just yet,  she looked down at her sister's eyes, laying bloody on her palms and shuddered slightly.

"I should have brought a jar or something.  This can't be good for them." she said, sounding slightly sick.

"Here." Several voices said in unison.  The three on the ground glanced up and saw the rest of the task force had joined them while she was dealing with Toneri.  All the Uchihas in the group had a small jar in hand.  So did Sai, now that she was looking.

"You all carry eyeball jars with you?" Neji said hesitantly.

"Yes." they all agreed. 

"And I thought the Hyuga clan was weird." Neji said under his breath.

Hinata bit her lip to keep from giggling and put Hanabi's eyes in Sai's jar since he was closest.  "Thank you."

 

"I suppose we should look around while we're here." Kakashi decided, glancing over the group.  He frowned and took another look around, then turned to Harry.

"Where's Toma?" he asked pointedly.

"If this place has a library, he's probably there." Harry answered easily.  "He had no real desire to battle puppets, so he found something better to do."  He glanced around and then pointed.  "In fact, there he is now."

"Puppet things all dead?  You know, this place is fascinating." Tom said cheerfully. 

"Everyone, let's spread out.  Let's make sure there are no more surprises waiting." Kakashi ordered.  "Neji, Hinata, why don't you two go check out the library.  I'm sure Toma can show you where it is.  Sai, do an aerial sweep and see if anything jumps out at you.  Everyone else, teams of two, split up and take a look around."

The crowd nodded and began to split up.  Harry tensed and started to say "Hey! Watch out!" But it was already too late.  Obito and Madara both stiffened, and then a seal began to unfurl across their bodies and then collapsed again to leave a stylized sun symbol on each of their foreheads. 

"Ah.  I do so love it when a plan comes together." Tobirama said with a smirk.

"Those traps worked just as we hoped." Tom agreed.  They shared a grin and fist-bumped.

"If you're done patting each other on the back, can you get this thing off me?" Madara growled.  He was still locked in place, as was Obito--a failsafe should the trap prove unsuccessful--the consciousness would have been unable to do anything with any bodies he managed to hijack should they have not been able to capture it. 

"Sorry.  Just a moment." Tom agreed. 

He tapped each of them on the forehead with his wand and then made a bubble, shooting the marks inside.  They unfurled, and the bubble filled with what looked like a bizarre cross between a cloud of dark smoke and an oil slick which roiled through the bubble and struck out at the barrier with increasing violence before coalescing and forming a black head shape with a too-large mouth and blank holes for eyes.  Tom reinforced the bubble a bit to make sure the thing couldn't escape, and then scanned Madara and Obito in turn to check to be sure they'd gotten all of it.  He nodded to Tobirama when they came up clean and he released the paralysis they were under. 

 

Madara stared at the thing with hate and crossed his arms defensively.  Obito found himself moving closer to Madara without really thinking about it, as did Nagato.  The thing they'd captured had destroyed all their lives, killed Nagato and Madara's best friends, and the girl Obito loved when he was a boy. 

Konan moved to flank Nagato and put a hand on his shoulder in support.  On the other side, Kakashi did the same with Obito, while Hashirama moved up behind Madara and put his hands on his shoulders.  The jinchuuriki moved to stand with them in a show of solidarity.  This thing had been responsible for an unknown number of deaths, and who knows what all else for countless generations.  The thing hissed and began thrashing around more wildly, trying to break free, all the while cursing them.

" ** _No! no this can't be! I was so close! Mother!"_**

Bit by bit the thrashing and cursing slowed and then stopped altogether.  The thing formed its unsettling face again and seemed to switch tracks, crooning at them rather than cursing them.

**"Everything I did, I did for mother.  She's been locked away, all alone for almost a thousand years.  She was betrayed and cast away.  Have some pity for poor, betrayed Kaguya-hime.  A thousand years is a terribly long time to be locked away all alone."**

Sasuke gripped Naruto's arm on one side and Sakura on the other when they sensed him wavering.  He was a true bleeding heart--nothing got to him quicker than a sob story.

"I might have been more sympathetic were she not planning to eat the world." Kakashi interjected dryly.

"You're the reason Yahiko is dead.  So far as I'm concerned, a thousand years in solitary confinement is barely enough." Konan said coldly. 

"Bad enough to have killed him…but to make me the instrument of his death…" Nagato said brokenly  "You're cruel as well as heartless."

"You're the reason Rin is dead." Obito added quietly.  "She was only fourteen.  She never even really had a chance to live.  She was kind, and gentle, and had a magnificent heart.  She made the world a better place simply by existing and you took her away." he added, his voice ragged. 

"You made me the cause of her death.  You made me kill my teammate and break my promise to protect her.  You enthralled the Kyuubi and attacked my village.  You're the reason my sensei and his wife are dead." Kakashi added. 

"You killed me.  Many hands were involved, but you were the driving force behind it.  You killed me and you killed Han and hurt our bijuu." Fu added. 

"You were hunting all of us and planned to do the same.  You're not winning any sympathy here." Roshi growled.

"You genjutused Isobu.  You were the driving force behind the blood purges in Mist.  So many of our countrymen died that the eternal mists that shroud our islands tasted like iron from all the blood in the air." Haku spoke up next. 

"Generations of shinobi have dreamt of peace while you sowed the seeds of dissension and war.  You broke apart families, destroyed friendships, tore apart countries…and for what? All so your mad mother can eat the world.  You're disgusting." Gaara added.

**"Traitors! You have no right! All the chakra belongs to mother.  You have no right to it, none at all! Cursed spawn of mother's false sons! Betrayers and traitors, all of you!"**

"Wah wah.  Yes, we get it.  Everything is terrible for you, blah blah blah.  You just need to accept that you've failed.  You won't be getting out again and your power-mad mother is going to stay in her prison where she belongs." Tom interjected, sounding bored. 

" **You.  Betrayers and traitors as well! Cursed Sakaki clan! Kaguya-hime is your rightful overlord.  Instead of being eaten in her place like we thought you were, you've all been hiding out like cowards and only show yourself to work against us and spit upon your oaths of fealty!"**

The wizards all looked at each other and shrugged.

"I don't know about any Sakaki clan.  Our oldest stories do say we didn't originate on the planet we were all born on, so I suppose we could have come from wherever Kaguya and the rest of the Ootsutsuki are from, but it's all speculation really." Tom told the rest when he saw they were curious. 

"It's possible.  We do have old stories warning against something that sounds sort of like the god tree, and that story spread and changed and shows up elsewhere throughout history as a warning against eating fruit from certain trees.  It would have been so long ago we have no direct records of it though." Neville added. 

"All we know is that our ancestors left because where they were at was becoming inhospitable.  If their "overlords" " he made mocking air quotes "Had all gone mad for power, were running amok killing planets trying to get a god fruit, had become cannibals and were turning each other into fruit and eating them, were running around without eyes to power their cities…yeah, I can see them deciding to get out of dodge and find someplace more hospitable." Harry agreed. 

"Cannibalism negates contracts and oaths of fealty.  Everyone knows that." Luna added.

The wizards all nodded.

The ninjas looked at each other and shrugged.

"Well…she's not wrong." Tobirama agreed. 

"She is? I didn't know that!" Naruto said in surprise.

"Thin hammer." Sasuke sighed.

Naruto ducked when Sakura tried to punch him in the head.

"Geez! I'm joking!  I knew! Karin, remember?!"

Sakura sighed, waited till Naruto relaxed and punched him anyway. 

"Yeah.  Grass village sucks.  I should have remembered that." Sakura agreed ruefully.

"The Grass village is full of cannibals?" Hashirama said in horror.

Madara sighed and pulled him aside to explain the sad story of Karin Uzumaki and her mother.  Tobirama, who had followed to find out the story as well, questioned why the Uzumakis had gone there rather than Konoha, which necessitated telling the story of the many shitty decisions of Danzo Shimura, Tobirama's former student. 

 

While the Founders were having story time,  Hinata spoke up. "We should get started.  I don't want to leave Hanabi-chan in darkness any longer than necessary."

"Not to mention it's getting rather unpleasant here without the artificial sun." Sakura agreed.

"All ready? It's just through here." Tom pointed. 

 

 

 

"You've been avoiding me." Kakashi said quietly.

"You're surprised? Every time I look at you…I see the guy who broke his promise.  I see the guy that killed Rin." Obito replied coldly.

Kakashi drew a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"If it makes you feel any better…that's what I see too.  Every time I look in the mirror."

Kakashi waited a moment to see if he had anything else to say, but he just stared back impassively.  He nodded once and left to join one of the search parties. 

Obito's hands slowly clenched as he tried to control his breathing.  He thought it would make him feel better, to lash out at her killer, to make him feel as wretched and empty inside as he did.

It didn't.

_"Damn you, Stupid Kakashi."_ he whispered. 

He stiffened  when he felt a hand grasp the back of his neck.

He glanced to the side when Madara came into view beside him. 

"Feel better?" he asked, voice wry.  "I understand.  I do.  I think I'm probably the reigning champion of spite and brooding on the injustices of the world."

"Why did you change? How did you? You seem like a completely different person." Obito demanded.  "How did you make it stop hurting?"

"I died." Madara reminded him.  "I also got my brother back.  His reincarnation at least.  He grew up as a civilian in a world without war.  He's happy." a small, disbelieving smile creased his face.  "I'm also not possessed by a malevolent consciousness anymore.  That helps.  Hashirama is here.  That helps as well." His smile was self-deprecating.  "I got a dose of perspective and a clear mind for the first time in…Sage…decades.  What an unsightly life I led." He frowned then and stared into the middle distance for a bit before continuing.   "I was where you are once.  It feels like there's a great, echoing chasm where your heart should be.  It's so hard just to keep living, hard to remember why you should.  What does any of it matter after all, if they're not there to share it?" 

Obito swallowed the lump in his throat and clutched at his chest as though he could feel the chasm Madara spoke of. 

"Uchihas…take the loss of our loved ones harder than most…but even we heal eventually.  You and I and Nagato just were never allowed to.  That _thing_ kept our wounds open and bleeding so it could maintain better control of us." Madara said gently.  "You make it stop hurting by continuing to live, by strengthening your bonds with the rest of your loved ones…finding a new anchor.  Eventually you'll be able to remember the one you lost with a smile.  There will still be an ache, but it won't be so sharp and overwhelming.  That's how I got through my childhood.  I had four brothers once.  Each time one of them died, when my parents died…I took the love I had for them and spread it out over those who were left.  It kept me anchored, kept me sane.  Izuna was the last member of my family.  I loved him as himself…but he was also the keeper of all the rest of my heart bonds.  When I lost him, I lost everything… everything but Hashirama.  I had forgotten that until the stupid ass tried to kill himself in front of me." he said with a sigh of exasperation.  "It might have been enough if I wasn't being interfered with.  For a while it was almost enough, but I had to see my brother's killer every day…and some days I found him to be not completely objectionable.  When I was alone, I felt guilty  about that, and angry, and all the pain of Izuna's death would come rushing back.  Every day, every year that passed, I lost more and more of myself until I finally couldn't fight growing abyss in my heart any longer."

Madara turned to face him.  "Without that thing preying on my mind, tearing open my heart wounds and twisting my perceptions, I would have healed eventually.  I would have stayed in the village.  Tobirama and I might have made peace.  We might have even become friends.  I would always have hated that he was the cause of my brother's demise…but I would have had the distance and perspective to remember that we were at war, and one of them would have fallen eventually…it just happened to be Izuna that did so.  They were too evenly matched for it to be otherwise."

Madara gave him a little shake.  "I've been given ample proof that the ones we love still love us, still remember us, when they're gone.  Your Rin still exists, she just isn't _here._ If she was as kind as you say, her last moments were probably filled with regret for the harm she did to your teammate by using him to commit suicide.  She was probably looking forward to seeing you again.  Instead, she found out you were still alive and likely had to watch all the pain her death caused you both.  If she hasn't been reborn like Izuna was to try to help, she's likely watching still and rejoicing that you're free…and lamenting that her death is still causing such pain."

Madara sighed and softened his voice some.  "It might help to think of her as just being elsewhere and reminding yourself that you won't see her again for a long time.  Treat it as though she were away on a long mission.  Save up stories to tell her when you're reunited.  Try to live in a way she won't scold you for when she gets a full accounting.  And while doing so, try to remember that she might be gone…but your stupid Kakashi is still here.  Your cousins are still here.  Your sensei's son is still here. Your village is still here.  That _thing"_ he sneered towards the black Zetsu  "Is the reason you can't be with her right now, and why you can't be with your Minato-sensei either.  If you continue to live in a way it wants you to, even when you're free of his taint, _you let him win_.  The boy I first met refused to be cowed by a little thing like losing half his body.  I refuse to believe you would allow that thing to be what beats you."

 

Madara gave Obito one last pat and left him to his thoughts, only to slow when he realized Tobirama was standing a short distance away, shamelessly listening in.

"Nosy bastard." Madara grumbled.

"Shinobi." Tobirama replied, still shameless.  He eyed Madara a moment before speaking.  " _Not completely objectionable._   High praise indeed." he said dryly.

"Don't let it go to your head, Senju." Madara snorted back.  He glanced at him from the corner of his eye when he fell into step with him.

Tobirama pursed his lips as he stared sightlessly ahead while they strode along.  Madara left him to it.  He could remember from long ago that he did that when he was gathering his thoughts, and got snappish when people interrupted him while doing so. 

"I didn't believe the story about you being possessed.  I thought it was some inane plot of yours." he finally said, voice gruff as he stared straight ahead.  Madara side-eyed him again and then rolled his eyes. 

"You don't need to apologize."  Madara's lips quirked a tiny bit when Tobirama glared at him  "Had our positions been reversed I wouldn't have believed it either."

Tobirama grunted and then seemed about to speak again, but he hesitated.

"What? Just spit it out already." Madara huffed.

Tobirama sighed and looked uncomfortable.  "My brother has informed me he plans to be reborn along with you.  I'm not sure you're aware that he plans to bring Mito along if she agrees." he said hesitantly while staring straight ahead.

"Not surprising.  She was his wife after all.  I do hope whatever families we're born into aren't feuding.  I can definitely do without another lifetime of that hellcat breathing fire at me every time I cross her path." Madara grumbled.  He glanced back when he realized Tobirama had halted and looked both confused and surprised. 

"What?"

Tobirama searched his expression, and seemed to only grow more puzzled.  "That's your only concern? Not that he hopes to marry her again?" he asked.

"Why would I care about that? He seemed happy with her.  It seems natural he'd want her around again." Madara said slowly, confused.

"Are you in love with my brother?" he finally asked, bluntly.  He was rather surprised when Madara's face screwed up in horror. 

"Gods, no!  He was like another brother to me!" he spluttered.  "Ugh!" he shivered. 

Tobirama was taken aback at Madara's seemingly genuine horror at the very idea. 

"But…  Who were you in love with then if not my brother?" Tobirama wondered.

Madara got an odd look on his face that he couldn't quite interpret. 

"I wasn't in love with him" he said slowly.  "It was just someone I thought was somewhat attractive…until he did something I wasn't able to forgive.  I never expected or wanted it to go further and never tried to pursue it.  Your brother read too much into a random fling with a stranger in a bar.  He's a romantic at heart.  It probably never occurred to him that I just had a passing attraction and an itch to scratch, nothing more."

"I see.  How did you two even get on such a subject in the first place?"

Madara hesitated and then shrugged.  "He was surprised to learn that I was acquainted with Shinji Uzumaki and wondered how we'd met.  I told him we'd met years before the village while he was disguised in a bar and had a fling. That's all." he explained before quickly striding off. 

Tobirama just stood there for a bit longer, looking startled,  before wandering off in a different direction.

 

"I don’t' get it.  Who was he in love with….or, you know, attracted to?  I thought for sure it was Hashirama." Neville wondered.  He, Harry and Luna were standing a short distance away,  where they'd been shamelessly listening in.

"Yeah.  Me too, actually.  Their relationship has always been so intense…and, you have to admit Hashirama is pretty dishy, even as a zombie." Harry agreed.  Neville snorted and Luna nodded in cheerful agreement.

"Well, what do we know about Shinji Uzumaki? Anyone know what he looks like?" Luna wondered. 

"Yeah, actually.  Naruto mentioned the conversation, and I asked about him.  He had spiky red hair and red eyes, like Karin…and _Tobirama-_ -though he had ashy blonde hair when they met since he was in disguise.  Light hair, red eyes,--and he said the person he liked, that Shinji reminded him of did something he couldn't forgive." Harry said speculatively. "It seems we had the wrong brother pegged all along."

"It really is just like a soap opera, isn't it?" Luna giggled. 

"Seems a shame.  They're both dead, so it's not like it really matters anymore, but still." Neville shrugged.  "Hashirama is planning to be reborn, and bring his wife along for the ride.  What are the odds, do you think, that Tobirama will follow them?"

"Pretty good, I'd think." Luna mused.

"Yeah." Harry nodded thoughtfully.  "I think so too.  Hopefully the universe will take pity on my poor brother and not make one of them a woman and the other a gay man, or drop them in feuding families or something.  Ah well.  What will be will be.  What say we go rob this place a bit?  I really should get souvenirs for everyone."

"I did see a vase and some end tables I really liked." Luna agreed.

"That seems…I don't know…" Neville hesitated. 

"The clan that lived here is dead.  Everything's just going to rot away." Harry reminded him.

"Still seems kinda ghoulish."

"So you don't want anything?"  he asked.

"No, I do" Neville admitted  "I just felt like I should acknowledge it's kind of ghoulish."

"Objection noted.  Let's go get some free stuff." Luna said airily, dragging them along.

 

 

 

 

"Ah, you've returned.  Dare I hope your mission was successful?" Itachi asked.

"Quite successful.  Toneri Ootsutsuki is dead." Neji agreed.  He seemed to be quite pleased with that fact, Itachi noted. 

Hinata blushed very slightly at the pleased note in Neji's voice, but focused and pulled out the jar with Hanabi's eyes.

"Ah, excellent.  If you'll all excuse me, I have an operation to get to." Tsunade said with a smile, taking the eyes and disappearing out the window towards the hospital. 

"The traps Lord Second and Toma-san laid on Madara-sama and Obito were successful as well.  The consciousness has been captured and is currently sealed in a bubble that Toma-san made to contain it once it was removed from Obito and Madara-sama.  They're hopeful it will disappear once the statue has been dealt with." Neji added.

"That is good news, on all counts.  A most successful endeavor."

"There was another matter which we may need to discuss later, after consulting with the rest of the Hyuga clan." Hinata spoke up.

"Oh?"

"It's regarding the caged-bird seal.  We probably shouldn't say more than that until we speak to Hiashi-sama and the elders." Neji agreed.

Itachi studied them both and frowned slightly.

"If I may hazard a guess? You discovered something on the moon base that suggests the seal originated with the Ootsutsuki clan not the Hyuga?"

"Your guesses are often better than other people's certainties, Hokage-sama" Neji agreed wryly.

"It makes sense.  You are descended from the same source.  I've always been a bit leery of that seal myself, ever since I first learned of its existence and all its functions.  The secondary function I have always found rather distasteful to say the least."

"It turns out that was actually meant to be the primary function." Hinata said softly. 

Itachi considered what he knew of why Hanabi's eyes had been stolen in the first place, and it made perfect if horrifying sense.

"I see." was all he said, but they could see from the tightness around his eyes that he'd fully understood the implications.  "If that was the case though, why leave the main branch unsealed?"

Hinata grimaced angrily--for her, anyway-- "Because the main house is descended from Homura's daughter.  We were left unsealed to marry back in to the Ootsutsuki if one of them was in need of a bride.  Toneri mentioned that as being my eventual fate.  They saw our whole clan as a-a closet or something where they stored things they might need in the future!  Need eyes to upgrade your doujutsu? Go subdue a Hyuga! Need a bride? Go kidnap a Hyuga!" she huffed. 

"Hinata-sama killed him when he told her he'd planned to come for her soon and tried to activate my seal." Neji said with a bit of smug pride. 

"He stole Hanabi's eyes and tried to hurt you.  He can't have thought I'd let him get away with that!" Hinata said with some embarrassment. 

 

Itachi noted with some amusement, and no little worry, that Neji's gaze was about ten times more besotted when it rested on Hinata than it had been even just a few hours ago.  As it was inappropriate for the Hokage to meddle too deeply in the romantic lives of his shinobi, he refocused on their report.

"You're worried about the 'others' Homura-sama mentioned that his mother was hiding from?"

"The cannibals, yes." Neji nodded.  "The consciousness identified the bodhisattvas as being of the "Sakaki clan".  They seemed confused by its assertion, as they themselves had no records of such, but they admitted it was possible as they have a very old story asserting that they arrived on their world from elsewhere.  The Sakaki seemed to have been a subordinate clan to the Ootsutsuki.  They seemed to feel that the Ootsutsuki all going power mad, turning each other into fruits to eat so they could steal their chakra, and running around killing worlds trying to make god trees would have been ample reason for them to have fled to find greener pastures elsewhere.  Kaguya and the consciousness seemed to have both assumed that they had been turned into fruit by her clansmen and eaten.  The consciousness was quite wroth to discover that they had simply fled instead, though they asserted in turn that cannibalism negates contracts and oaths of fealty." Neji explained.

"Well…they're not wrong." Itachi agreed.  "So you're worried that these 'others' might arrive someday and use the seal to subdue and eat the Hyuga clan?  Should any of these people appear, you can be assured that all of Konoha would stand between you and them as a matter of course…but it is a worry.  However, have you considered the implications of removing the seal altogether? The branch house has been free of the regular kidnapping attempts that have plagued the main house.  Should you all be unsealed, every member of the clan will have to contend with such attempts.  Are you all prepared to do that?" he asked seriously. 

"I think I can speak for every member of the branch house when I say that removing the weakness that allows us to be put down with a gesture would be worth it." Neji asserted. 

"How often is it used thus?" Itachi asked.

"More than it should…not as often as it could be." Neji replied. 

Hinata shivered slightly at the angry, protective rage she could feel in the Hokage's chakra.  The idea that any of the ninjas under his command were regularly having their brains fried didn't sit well with him at all. 

"The Lord First said that at the time of the founding, when the Hyuga first petitioned to join, that both Uchiha-sama and the Lord Second argued against our inclusion so long as the seal was in use.  Lord First decided that it was more important to get us into Konoha than to risk losing us to an enemy village should the elders at the time balk at removing the seal.  He said that he recognized that anything his brother and Uchiha-sama agreed on was likely important, so he added a clause into the Konoha charter governing the clans.  Even should the elders disagree with removing the seal, a meeting of all the clans can be called to force compliance should all agree it represents a danger to the village." she explained.

"It has to be a unanimous decision, doesn't it? I do vaguely remember reading that." Itachi agreed.  "Have you considered that you might not be able to get the unanimous vote you require?"

"Uzumaki-sama has already offered his support.  Sakura-san seems certain that if they convince the Nara it represents a strategic weakness that they will agree, which would mean the Yamanaka, Akimichi and possibly the Sarutobi will agree as well.  Sasuke was certain the Inuzuka and Aburame would both agree as they find the seal distasteful and not in keeping with a properly run pack or hive. He also seemed certain your father would agree, even if only because Madara-sama had concerns that were overruled by the Senju in charge." Neji offered.

Itachi huffed a quiet laugh at the aside about his father before growing serious once more.

"Consider this though--the Nara may consider a possible visit by outsider Ootsutsuki of less strategic concern than the very real threat of every village declaring open season on the Byakugan once it's learned that the seal has been done away with.  They may find the seal distasteful, but they also know enough to realize it does actually work as a successful deterrent to doujutsu thieves and limits attempts to steal it to the main house, which are fewer in number and more easily protected because of that.  If they come down on the side of keeping the seal, you've already lost."

"If I might make a suggestion?" Jiraiya spoke up.  He'd been quietly listening in until now, and not really commenting on their report, leaving that to Itachi.

"Certainly, Jiraiya-sama.  We would welcome any insight you might have." Hinata agreed.

"Have you considered having a new seal designed? For the first time in years we actually have several seal masters in the village.  You could probably get the unanimous decision you need if you can soothe any worries about all the rest of the villages out hunting Hyugas both in and out of the village.  If a new seal could be designed that both preserves the protective function and removes the punishment function, I think you'll be able to get cooperation.  In fact, if the new seal is applied to the whole clan, not just the branch house, I think you'd have no problems getting everyone on board."

"A new seal?" Neji said uneasily.  He was so close to freedom….though if it removed the ability of the elders and Hiashi-sama to just drop him with a gesture, while keeping him free of the regular kidnapping attempts that Hinata and Hanabi regularly had to deal with…

"That might be acceptable." Neji was forced to allow. 

"Are you sure?" Hinata asked, putting her hand on his arm.  She knew how difficult this must be.  He had hated and feared the caged-bird seal since her father had used it on his when they were little, and she'd seen too well his fear and frustration when Toneri had threatened him with it. 

Neji considered a moment and then nodded, at peace with the idea.  "Yes.  If it cannot be interfered with, but will keep thieves from plaguing me, plaguing all of us, that might indeed be the best solution and one I think even the elders will agree to without too much fuss."   Hinata searched his face a moment and then nodded.

"Jiraiya-sama, could you design such a seal?"

"I'm pretty sure I could.  In fact, I should take advantage of Lord Second's presence in the world while he's still here.  Between him, myself, Naruto and Karin, I'm sure we'll come up with something that will suit."

"Very well.  Please do so.  When we have a completed seal we'll present our findings to the elders, and if they should prove uncooperative, we will call a clan council to vote on it." Hinata nodded.  "We should probably talk to my father about it before that though.  He won't appreciate being left out of the loop." she added to Neji.

"Agreed.  We already know he's sympathetic to the cause." Neji nodded. 

"Very well.  Please keep me updated on your progress. I'm sure you want to check on Hanabi-chan." Itachi noted.

"Yes.  By your leave, Hokage-sama."

"Thank you for your good work.  Dismissed.  Please relay my best wishes to your sister." Itachi nodded.

 

Once the two Hyugas were gone, Itachi sat back looking thoughtful.  "Hiashi-dono was right, they do make a good team.  What's more, I think something changed.  Perhaps Neji-kun has a chance after all."

"I'll have to tell Naruto to step up his game." Jiraiya snorted. 

"He's still a bit fixated on Sakura-chan is he not?"

"Yeah.  Hinata's got so much more to offer though!" Jiraiya leered, making a gesture that indicated large breasts. 

"Please stop perving on my teenage kunoichi." Itachi said flatly. 

"We interrupting something?" Shisui asked as he and Sai came in for their debriefing.

"On that note, I'm going to go find a Naruto and maybe drop in to see Lord Second to work on that project." Jiraiya snorted.

"You just want to get away before Tsunade-hime comes looking for you.  She has a sixth sense for these things." Sai offered.

"That too." Jiraiya said cheerfully before hopping out the window. 

 

 

In the hospital, Tsunade twitched, though the green chakra coating her hands never wavered.

"Remind me to punch Jiraiya later." she told her eldest apprentice, Shizune, who was helping with the surgery.

"Dare I ask why?" Shizune wondered.

"No idea.  I just know he deserves it." Tsunade huffed.

Shizune just nodded.  Tsunade had a sixth sense for such things.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	12. Family matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of our intrepid heroes get to meet with relatives, a house is cleaned, more eye surgeries, and a concert.

"We should probably destroy my eyes." Madara said out of nowhere. "They're too closely connected to the statue, and that thing. They've caused nothing but trouble."

"I can regrow a second eye for Nagato." Harry nodded, unconcerned. He scanned Obito idly and then frowned, pursing his lips. "Excuse me a moment."

He went and grabbed Tom and the two of them had a brief whispered discussion before returning. Tom scanned Obito with his wand as well and he frowned for a moment considering, then pointed his wand at him and said an obviously foreign word that none of them understood. Obito stiffened and spasmed in place for a moment. Kakashi, his single visible eye blazing in protective fury, tried to leap on Tom to stop whatever he was doing, but Harry caught him in a shadow and held him in place until he was done. Kakashi slowly relaxed as the chalky-white plant flesh that made up half of Obito's face slowly turned to healthy pinkish human flesh. Obito took a shuddering breath when the jutsu ran its course, and fell to his knees coughing slightly. He sat there a moment longer, looking wild-eyed and slowly reached up to touch his chest.

"That's so weird" he said in shock. "My heart is beating. I can feel the blood moving in my veins. I can feel my lungs working."

"Um…they weren't before?" Haku asked curiously.

"No. He was all plant goo." Tom agreed.

"No more mokuton." Obito said with a bit of bitterness.

"You should probably try it before deciding you don't have it anymore. The plant stuff is still there, it just was transformed into human stuff." Tom chided.

"I'm going to need to eat and sleep and poop and all again aren't I?" Obito realized.

"You didn't before?" Utakata wondered.

"No." Obito agreed, sounding even more bitter. "Why'd you change me?"

"HOW did you change him?!" Kakashi wanted to know.

"Simple. You didn't have any blood and I needed some to grow your eye back." Harry said cheerfully.

Kakashi glared at he and Tom, but neither of them chose to share how they'd just made him fully human again. Harry pressed a vial against the bend of his arm while Obito gaped at him and it quickly filled with red, human blood.

"That's unnecessary. We already have both of Obito's eyes. You should probably be taking blood from me instead." Kakashi said quietly.

Obito, contrary to his expectation, bristled in fury and got in his face.

"That was a gift, you asshole!"

"I just assumed…" Kakashi stuttered, taken aback.

"Well, stop thinking so much. It's obviously not your strong suit. You don't give back presents in any case. It's rude."

"Well, I guess that settles that." Harry agreed.

He finished drawing a vial of blood from Nagato as well and marked it with his name.

"You'll have two same-colored eyes again." he reminded Nagato, who looked a little apprehensive. "And, who knows, you might actually just sprout your very own Rinnegan someday. Your body absorbed all the various chakras from them and made them part of you."

"Let's get you two prepped for surgery." Sakura decided, chivvying a squawking Obito and docile Nagato towards the infirmary.

"We'll be sealing your chakra again, both of you, before you awaken, so you don't reflexively send chakra to your eyes before they're fully healed." Harry told them.

"WHAT?! Oh hell no!" Obito protested.

Sakura huffed, poked him in the forehead and hefted him over her shoulder when he fell forward, asleep. She held out an imperious hand to Kakashi, who handed over Obito's sharingan eye--the one that wasn't in his head--without protest.

"Come on Nagato, stop lollygagging." she barked before marching off, carrying Obito's bulk like it was nothing.

"I do like her." Konan mused.

Yuugito laughed softly and nodded.

"Me too." Luna agreed.

The three women realized they were expecting Fu-chan to chime in as well, but she'd decided to move on once the black zetsu was captured, as had Han. They traded a wry, sad smile.

"While Sakura-chan and Harry-sama are busy with their eye surgery, we should probably get ourselves ready to finish things. We have all cleared all but the last of the chakra gates. Aki-kun, Kitsuchi-san and I should probably join with our bijuu before the final push." Haku spoke up.

"Yeah, about that… I don't know how to seal a bijuu. Do any of you?" Tenzo spoke up.

"We didn't have a regular jinchuuriki. My wife just grabbed the fox in her chakra chains and dragged him into her." Hashirama said apologetically.

"Actually, we don't need to do anything. Chomei-sama said she could just do it." Aki chirped.

"The bijuu are going to seal themselves?" Tobirama said in surprise.

"Well, they don't want to disappear when the statue is destroyed. They can choose to willingly bind themselves to someone, they've just never chosen to do so before. We'll be doing something completely different than has been done before. We'll be forming a willing partnership on both sides with the bijuu." Kitsuchi agreed.

"While you guys do that, there's something I need to do too." Naruto realized. "Who wants to help me capture a plant guy?" "

What do you need a plant guy for?" Kakashi wondered.

"Homura said one could be used as the sacrifice to get my dad and grandpa-Hokage out of the shinigami's belly. My dad has Kurama's yin chakra still. We should probably do something about the remaining plant guys in any case."

"We can use two as a sacrifice to remove them and two more as a sacrifice for Edo tensei, otherwise their spirits will move on too quickly for you to take back the fox's chakra." Tobirama decided. "We'll need some of their dna to do so though."

"We should have samples back in Konoha. Orochimaru had a stockpile of genetic samples that Danzo held on to once he fled the village." Kakashi offered.

"We need to go to Konoha anyway to visit the mask temple." Naruto pointed out.

"Where are the rest of the white zetsu?" Tobirama asked Madara.

"In a hidden cave beneath the mountain's graveyard."

"That's a fair distance from here."

"Naruto? Do you have another of those markers?" Tom asked.

"Yeah. Here."

He flicked his wand a few times. "Ah, I see them. Hold on." he said distractedly before vanishing with a 'crack'.

"You people are unnerving. You know that, right?" Tobirama told Neville and Luna. They just laughed.

Tom returned a few minutes later after setting the marker.

The group conferred for a bit to decide who was going where. Kakashi went with a Naruto clone to fetch the DNA samples and would meet them in the Uzumaki temple afterwards. Hashirama, Tobirama and Madara would go to the cave with another clone to destroy the remaining zetsu after grabbing a few to use as sacrifices. Aki, Haku and Kitsuchi would be letting their respective bijuu take up residence in their bellies. Gaara, the only kage amongst their number, would be using the time to check in with his village. The rest would be sorting through the contents of the moon base's pantry, which it seemed Harry, Neville and Luna had absconded with while the rest of them were searching for traps, and finding something to throw together for dinner. Neville and Luna wisely didn't mention they'd also made off with quite a bit of furniture, weapons, and art pieces--both for their own use and to give away as souvenirs-- as well. Or that Tom had copied the library while the rest of them were fighting puppets. What the ninjas didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

"Alright. Let's get going." Tobirama decided.

Kakashi and his Naruto vanished to Konoha. Gaara and his Naruto vanished to Sand village. The Founders and their Naruto vanished to the mountain's graveyard. Haku, Aki and Kitsuchi went into the ocean room where the three loose bijuu were hanging out. Luna clapped her hands and pulled a bottomless bag from her pocket.

"Let's get sorting and get all this stuff put away." She held the bag upside down, tapped it with her wand and said 'release'.

The ninjas gaped at the veritable mountain of foodstuffs that came tumbling out.

"He didn't have any meat, so it looks like it will continue to be seafood for the foreseeable future, unless someone feels like hunting a deer, or a cow or a rabbit or something." Neville explained. "But there were lots of vegetables, and fruit and rice."

"I'll say there were lots. He was just one guy. A fairly skinny guy at that. When was he planning to eat all this?" Yuugito wondered.

"The whole pantry was laced with preservative seals. This might have been around since before the rest of the clan killed each other off." Luna offered.

"Oh. Well, yes, that makes more sense. There has to be at least a thousand pounds of rice alone!"

"Five thousand, actually. We counted." Neville chuckled.

"What are you planning on doing with what we don't eat?" Utakata wondered.

"We just figured we'd split it between everyone so it didn't go to waste." Neville said. "Minus enough to stock the cabinets here. Harry likes to keep it stocked so they can run off at a moment's notice and know they won't starve." he explained. "Most of the cabinets and the refrigerator are all laced with preservation charms like the pantry on the moon base was, so whatever he leaves in here tends to keep."

"You know, I just realized that moon base answered every fanciful tale about the moon I've ever heard." Luna said suddenly with a giggle. "There was a man in the moon. While Kaguya was trapped there, there was a rabbit in the moon…"

"It wasn't made of green cheese." Neville pointed out wryly.

"Not made of it, no, but look." She held out the thing she'd been looking at. It was a large wheel of cheese.

"It's green. Why is it green?" Neville wondered, baffled.

"I don't know. It's tasty regardless." she decided after slicing off a small chunk to try.

 

"Oh, Toma-san… did you come to help with the surgery?" Sakura said in surprise. "If you have, you're already too late. I've already removed the Rinnegan eyes and just finished putting Obito's Sharingan back in." she pointed to a shallow dish in which both Rinnegan were laying.

"No I thought I'd see if I could do anything for these spiral scars on Obito's face. It might help him put it behind him if he doesn't have to look at the damage every time he looks in the mirror…and doesn't have every non-ninja he encounters flinching at the sight of his face." Tom explained.

"They are pretty ugly." Sakura agreed, watching.

"That reminds me. I'll have to remind Harry to make another big pot of scar-remover to give to Karin."

"That would be good." Sakura said with a smile. "I know it really bothers her. She has a bit of a thing for Shin Hatake, but she acts really bipolar around him because she keeps backing off because of her scars."

"Hatake? He's related to Kakashi then?" Tom asked curiously as he carefully worked on Obito's face--trying to lessen the scars before swathing him in scar-remover so the paste would have less work to do.

"Half-brother. There's a half-sister too. They're both Danzo science babies like Yoko-chan, Arashi and Asahi. Kakashi had no idea what to do with two young kids, and on top of that the sister was made from his father and Orochimaru's DNA. Captain Tenzo was also a science experiment of Orochimaru's. That's how he got the mokuton. He was really angry at Kakashi for abandoning her, so he and Orochimaru's former apprentice Anko took responsibility for her. He and Kakashi weren't speaking for a while because of it. Shin was taken in by Mikoto Uchiha, Sasuke's mother. Sai, who you met recently, was another science baby and is her younger brother. He and Shin thought of each other as siblings, so she took Shin in as well when Kakashi abandoned him. She asked Kakashi for permission for him to use the Hatake name. He wasn't able to avoid him as easily as his sister since Naruto and the rest of the Uzumakis moved into the Uchiha district after Naruto took Yoko, Arashi and Asahi in. Mikoto had wanted to take Naruto in as a baby but wasn't allowed to. She decided to put her foot down and insist they come where there were responsible adults to keep an eye on all of them. Naruto was only eight and could barely take care of himself. He had no business trying to raise a couple of five year olds and a four year old. Karin's the same age as Naruto, and she didn't arrive till we were thirteen in any case, so she wasn't around back then to help out. They only moved out of there a couple of months ago, because they all felt like they were mooching off the Uchiha clan and thought they should try to stand on their own feet. Kakashi had to stop by occasionally to see Naruto once he became his sensei, and as he was Sasuke's sensei as well, Mikoto made a point of inviting him over for dinner so she could find out how their training was going and if there was anything they needed to work on. I'm really glad she did. He didn't really do much with us until she started holding him to account. Because Shin was usually there for dinner, Kakashi was forced to interact with him. They're not particularly close, but he's on far better terms with him than he is with his sister. Heck, we didn't even know she existed until right before we came here! I don't know if Shin is on good terms with her or not. " she concluded, thoughtful.

"Well, maybe after Kakashi is done clearing all his gates he can try to fix his relationship with his siblings."

"Yeah, maybe. I'm not sure how receptive Megumi-chan is going to be. Ah, I'm not going to worry about it. I'll put Naruto on the case. Fixing people and forging bonds is his thing. I'm sure he'll get them to form a…somewhat functional…family. Probably." Sakura said uncertainly.

Tom snorted in amusement.

 

 

 

Madara snapped out of his (completely unexpected, very embarrassing) panic attack and found Tobirama staring intently into his eyes.

"Back with me?" he asked quietly.

Madara nodded, dimly noting that Tobirama had his hands on either side of his face, and he himself was gripping his wrists hard enough that he likely would have hurt him had they not been in immortal, near-indestructible bodies. He forced his hands to release and took a step back. Tobirama let him go without protest.

"How did you know? Did I do something?" Madara asked quietly, focusing on the distant cave wall so he didn't have to look at his face.

"I'm a sensor, remember? Your chakra started spiking, and then I realized what was happening. I sent my brother and Naruto on ahead. Neither of them were keen to leave you in the midst of your distress, but I didn't think you'd appreciate being smothered the moment you snapped out of it." Tobirama replied very matter-of-fact.

Madara chanced a glance at his face, but saw none of the mocking derision he'd half-feared he'd see. That and the very calm way Tobirama was acting helped him relax somewhat.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of. You were essentially held prisoner here for decades. I was half expecting something like this to happen." Tobirama assured him.

"Why only half?" Madara asked curiously.

Tobirama shrugged. "People react to things differently. You might have gotten twitchy long after we left, had nightmares--if we needed to sleep-- any number of responses, really. Flashbacks and panic attacks are a common reaction to a site of trauma. As shinobi, we've always been expected to soldier through such things and put them behind us, or simply not acknowledge them at all. I've always thought this might have been a mistake, as the mind needs healing as much as the body, but there never seemed to be time to try to implement such a program during the years after the founding of the village. I spent most of my tenure as Hokage embroiled in a war, so I didn't get a chance to implement it then either. Happily, from what Sakura-chan told us, Tsuna-chan has done so. She completely overhauled the hospital and medic training programs, spearheaded a special course for field medics and got the Yamanaka clan to spearhead a mental healing initiative."

"Hashirama's granddaughter? She inherited his healing skills then?"

"I think she surpassed him, honestly. She's as great a healer, but she was able to teach her skills to others. Anija was never able to do that." Tobirama studied him a moment longer. "Feeling steady?"

"Yeah." Madara agreed quietly. "Let me set some stuff on fire and retrieve my gunbai and I'll be fine."

"Your gunbai is here?" Tobirama asked in interest. "I always wondered what happened to it. I looked for it, after. I was going to give it back to your clan, but we weren't able to find it."

"The black zetsu must have retrieved it. I know I didn't bring it with me, it was just here waiting and I never really thought much about it one way or another." Madara said as they moved to join Naruto and Hashirama.

"You're going to give it to Sasuke?" Tobirama guessed. "He's to be the next clan-head, correct? Or were you going to give it to his father?"

"Neither. I already gave it to Obito, and neither Sasuke or his father is wind-natured. It wouldn't do them much good. Well, they could still use it to repel attacks, but they wouldn't get the full use of it." Madara disagreed. "And Obito is my grandchild as much as Sasuke, Itachi or their father is, and he's the only one that looks like me. Sasuke, Itachi and Sai all look like Izuna."

"Sasuke and Sai do. Itachi looks like a mix of the two of you." Tobirama disagreed.

"You think so….guh!"

"MADARA!"

"Madara-nii"

"Are you feeling better?"

"What happened? Was it that thing with the funny name that doesn't sound like a real word again?"

Madara blinked, dazed and said "Huh?"

"War fetters. He means war fetters." Hashirama explained.

"I'm fine. I wasn't expecting to react so strongly to being back here again. Have you finished?"

"We grabbed the sacrifices." Naruto agreed. "We were wondering where all the tunnels go. Grandpa doesn't want them to just turn into trees while they're down here. Not enough sunlight, and they won't get rained on, or any wind either."

"They go all over, but it's a long walk. You might lose control of them before they get to their destination. Just set them loose aboveground here. A few trees would probably brighten the place up."

"If you think it best." Hashirama agreed, putting his hands together.

Madara shuddered and backed away from the deep crevasse in the ground where eighty-thousand zetsu were lined up in rows, waiting patiently for the end of the world. Tobirama and Naruto went with him. Naruto could only watch in horrified fascination as row after row after row of creepy plant guys marched out of the crevasse. There seemed to be no end to them.

Tobirama glared at all of them--nearly undetectable, able to mimic the appearance and chakra of others, all with the mokuton--and in such numbers. They represented a very real and present threat to the whole world. Even if the shinobi of the world had figured out a way to find them, they could have done untold damage before such a method was found, because no one had been expecting them until the outsiders had come.

Hashirama went into sage mode, and seemed to be visibly straining an hour later when the last of the plant men had gone.

"Are you alright?" Tobirama demanded. "If it was a strain you should have said something. Madara could have set them on fire or something."

"Oh, no, it was just keeping hold of them until they got all the way to Earth country. There were already trees and such here, even if they're a little scraggly in places. Earth country has a lot of mineral wealth but not a lot of greenery. I thought they'd do more good there." Hashirama explained cheerfully.

Madara snorted and then threw back his head to cackle unashamedly while Tobirama groaned and facepalmed.

"Brother…did you send an army of eighty-thousand plant men to invade Earth country and plant themselves?"

"Yes?" Hashirama said uncertainly. "Why? Is that a problem?"

"Not a problem so much as you probably scared a few decades off anyone who was nearby when it happened." Tobirama groaned.

"Why would they be scared? Trees and flowers and bushes and vines aren't scary!"

"That little brat Onoki is the Tsuchikage." Madara wheezed "He's probably running around in a panic, mustering his forces because he's convinced Konoha sent you to take over the country."

"Let's get to Konoha and get back so we can let Kitsuchi smooth Onoki's ruffled feathers." Tobirama sighed.

"Just a moment." Madara said, still tittering as he stumbled off deeper into the cave. When he returned he had a large fan shaped rather like a violin, strapped to his back. There was a chain attached to the handle that led to a sickle, which was tucked in to his belt at the back where his armor didn't cover.

"Madara! We're not going to war!" Hashirama huffed.

"I know that, idiot. I don't want to leave it here to rot!" Madara growled back.

"But if we show up in Konoha with you decked out like that, people are going to get the wrong idea!"

"It's fine. We're just going to my place." Naruto assured him. "That's where the mask temple is. Hardly anyone will see us."

"See? No problem." Madara told Hashirama airily. "Now let me just do this…" He blew out a long stream of super-heated fire onto the tree he'd been attached to for years untold. He kept it up until the thing stopped smoldering and started burning. "There! Now we can leave." he concluded with great cheer.

The cave was quickly filling with smoke, so Naruto hurriedly took them to the Uzumaki lands, specifically the front gate as the rest of the clan complained about him randomly appearing inside the house.

"This was where Mito's house was." Tobirama noted.

"Mito?"

"After you died, Anija."

"Oh. Yes, I suppose she couldn't stay in the Hokage tower, could she?"

"My mom lived here too." Naruto agreed. "We just completely redid the house. It had been sitting empty for a long time. In fact, I haven't seen the finished product yet. The contractors had just started when we all left the village."

"Yo! You all beat me back." Kakashi said as he approached. "It took me a while to convince anyone that it was a good idea to let me raise up the Third and Fourth." He noted the large fan and sickle Madara was now sporting. "Is there a battle no one told me about?"

"Just retrieved my property. Well, Obito's property now, since I gave it to him." Madara replied.

"We ready to do this?" Kakashi asked.

"If you have the DNA, yes, as soon as I prep the sacrifices, we can begin." Tobirama agreed.

"Okay…just let me do this…" Naruto said distractedly as he fiddled with something on the gate. He waved them all through.

"What did you do?" Kakashi wondered.

"Deactivated some of the security. I was worried about ghosts and zombies and stuff when I designed most of the security. I started when I was nine" he explained when Kakashi just sighed and looked at him. "Anyway, I wasn't sure how it would react to Edo tensei, so I turned it off."

"Probably a good idea." Kakashi agreed mildly.

"Anyway" Naruto pouted "the mask temple is back there."

 

 

"Has that stuff almost run its course?" Harry asked after setting Nagato's new eyeball in the empty socket and bandaging it up. He gestured to the lurid purple scar removal cream that covered half of Obito's face. "It's just, I don't want other magic active while his eye is growing."

"It should be just about done, yes. I'll remove it now." Tom agreed.

Harry nodded and went to fetch Obito's new eyeball. Sakura moved to stand behind Tom so she could see the finished product. He flicked his wand over his face a few times, removing the cream and then cleaning his face to wash away any residue. Sakura gasped in wonder.

"That stuff is incredible!" Indeed there were some faint silvery lines on Obito's face, but the thick, ropy spiral scars were gone.

"It wouldn't have been nearly as effective if I hadn't of worked on them first." Tom admitted "On old scars it can really only do so much. I manually removed most of the thick scar tissue and healed the resulting cuts, then put the paste on those. We have a friend who got a bad burn across half his face. Harry put the paste directly on the scar, and while it reduced it a great deal, it didn't remove it altogether--it was too old and too thick. He's gone back a few times since then and carefully peeled away some of the scar tissue and healed it and then put more scar remover on it. The last time I saw him there was a silvery-pink patch covering half his face. When we first met it was dark red, thick, and in places it looked like the skin had melted. It's an amazing improvement if you know what it originally looked like."

"It's still impressive." Sakura admitted. "Karin's scars are old. Will it work for them?"

"We're hopeful. If it doesn't, we can try removing patches of skin and regrowing it if she's amenable."

Sakura looked conflicted. "You do realize we're talking about her whole body just about, right?"

"That would make it more difficult, but still doable if we plan it and do it in stages. Only if she's willing though."

Harry came back and plopped the jelly-like ball into Obito's empty eye socket and bandaged it before looking over the rest of his face.

"Oh, hey! He looks great! I'm actually glad there's still some sign of his scars. Reducing them like that will probably help him put the trauma behind him, but having them just gone altogether would have caused its own problems, I think. Our scars are signs of where we've been, what we've survived. They're important, even if they're ugly. Sometimes especially if they're ugly. I told Zuko the same thing about why I wasn't going to try to remove the last silvery traces of his."

"This is the guy with the burnt face?" Sakura guessed. "He was one of your war buddies? I think I remember seeing his picture."

"Yeah, he's the king of Fire Nation now, the Fire Lord." Harry agreed.

"I had forgotten you're all used to moving in some pretty illustrious circles." Sakura laughed. "Although, I suppose we've been doing that so far on this trip, haven't we, with all the kages, clan leaders and famous ninjas we've been rubbing elbows with."

"Yes, it has been rather a who's-who of the ninja world, hasn't it?" Tom agreed.

"How is he?" The three of them turned and found Kakashi and two new edo tenseis.

"Lord Third!...Lord Fourth!" Sakura gasped.

Sarutobi smiled at her kindly, Minato nodded to her absently, his focus on Obito.

"And the celebrities keep coming." Harry joked before growing serious. "I only just got finished putting what will become their new eyes in. It will be a few hours until they're done."

"His face…" Kakashi said in surprise when he got a good look at Obito.

"I thought it might help him put some of it behind him." Tom agreed.

He studied Kakashi for a second, looking at the slanted headband that covered what used to be Obito's second eye.

"Tell me something, why do you keep that covered all the time?"

"It isn't my eye. I can't turn it off, and it constantly drains chakra when it's uncovered. I usually end up unconscious from chakra exhaustion if it's uncovered too long, though the time I can have it uncovered has grown since I first got it when I was fourteen." Kakashi shrugged.

"Hmm. Do you mind letting me scan you with it uncovered? Maybe I could do something to help." Tom offered.

When Kakashi hesitated, Tom sighed.

"I'm not interested in your stupid magic eyeball. I like my eyes in my head. Having people trying to steal it all the time would be very troublesome."

"Go ahead, Kakashi. From what you said they're not from this world, and they're not even shinobi. What is he going to do? Sell information to our enemies?" the fourth Hokage said with some amusement. "I'd like to watch, if you don't mind." he added firmly.

"Go ahead. I'm not sure how much you'll get out of it. He's been trying to copy our techniques since we arrived, and from how much scowling he does, I don't think he's gotten anything he can use thus far." Tom said with amusement when Kakashi glared at him. "Let me scan you with it covered first so I can get a baseline, and then I'll scan you again with it uncovered to see what I can see."

Kakashi stood still as Tom ran his wand across him in wide sweeps. His hands twitched, though he couldn't actually feel anything. He scanned again once he uncovered the eye--and as always, all he could see were gossamer strands of chakra that didn't tell him anything about what he was doing. Toma seemed to be reading something in the air around him, nodding and muttering to himself as he did so.

"Can you open your chakra gates? Leave the eye uncovered. I'm curious about something." Tom ordered.

Kakashi shrugged and did so. Tom scanned him again. When all six were open, he did another scan and then asked "How do you feel?"

"Good, actually. I can barely feel the drain anymore."

"That's because instead of sucking up all your energy it's feeding off the natural energy you're absorbing. It isn't draining you at the moment. See if you can turn it off and back on again."

Kakashi hesitated--if he managed to turn it off but couldn't turn it back on again, he would have lost his advantage in battle. Obito's eye had sometimes been more trouble than it was worth, but it had nonetheless made itself useful enough that it was worth the trouble more often than not. If he could manage to turn it back on again… He bit his lip in nervousness and tried to turn it off. It took him several embarrassingly long minutes to figure out how. He blinked a few times in surprise when he actually managed it. He immediately turned it back on and sagged in relief when it worked. Feeling more confident, he turned it back off and then removed his headband and refastened it properly across his forehead.

"You'll probably have to open the gates before using it so it doesn't drain you dry and kill you one of these days, but you should be able to use it like it was your own from now on." Tom told him.

"Thank you." Kakashi said simply.

Tom just nodded and put his wand away. Once he, Harry and Sakura had left, the Third and Kakashi turned to Minato expectantly. He looked down at his hands and flexed them.

"It feels very different than our chakra. It feels both wilder and more tame at the same time… I can't really explain it better than that."

He had reconfigured his chakra to match Tom's while he was working on Kakashi. If they couldn't learn anything about them from the outside, all that was left was to try learning about them from the inside. He prepared to do a jutsu, then hesitated, looking around at the tidy little hospital room.

"Um, maybe I should go outside first." he laughed.

"Probably a good idea." Sarutobi agreed with a smirk.

Minato glanced over at Obito and then hesitated.

"I can see a thin gossamer net overlaying both of them. I couldn't see that before. It's an alarm, I think. He looked around more carefully at the rest of the room. "I'm not as aware of the warped space in here. It looks perfectly normal."

"It looks normal to my Sharingan as well." Kakashi nodded. "Though the wrongness is subtle enough to my other eye I can easily ignore it."

When they stepped outside, Minato froze and looked around in horror.

"Sensei?" Kakashi asked.

"This place is full of ghosts. Even though I'm dead, I couldn't see them before. They're very faint, but they're everywhere." he said uneasily.

"It's nothing to be alarmed about. This place is rich in energy, and there was a massive tragedy here. Such things leave a mark on the world. These aren't lost souls, they're just echoes. They're not aware of any of us--they're a living memory, nothing more." Luna told them. "Your whole world is like this, and your village, but we expected that given the generations of constant warfare."

All three of them twitched as they hadn't been aware of her approach.

"There's actually fewer than there were. We've been slowly smoothing out the tangled energies around here . There was so much death, so much shock and betrayal it's taking a while to unsnarl everything. I think we've done enough they should fade in a few more years. I think had we not come here in the company of an Uzumaki, and then later brought another who we healed and succored, all the energies here would have lashed out at us and driven us off." she mused thoughtfully, before moving to stand in front of Minato. She poked his chest rather pointedly and looked at him with a small frown. "This is rude." she scolded lightly, letting him know in no uncertain terms that she knew what he'd done to his chakra, and that he'd done so to try to use their abilities against them. She frowned at Kakashi in disappointment as well before heading back inside.

"I feel sorry for her eventual children." Minato said ruefully. "She just made me feel lower than dirt with a few words."

He moved further away from the cabin and prepared to do a jutsu. He was a ninja. A little thing like feeling a bit guilty wasn't going to stop any of them from seeking any advantage they could get. All three of them had lived through wars and countless battles. It was completely foreign to their thinking to do anything but what they were doing--namely finding out everything they could about the strangers in their midst, especially as they were certain the strangers had learned all too much about them. Should they ever get it into their heads to return and conquer--a very real fear now that they knew they were likely of the same people as those who had become the gods of their world-- even if none of them had a god tree or seemed to want one. They would be prepared as they could be to repel them and lay them low.

 

 

 

"So, did you get Kurama his yin chakra back alright?" Harry asked.

"Nah, not yet. Dad said he can't so long as the seal is still, ya know, sealed. I have to open the seal and merge with Kurama's chakra first and then I can get it back for him. Oh, hey, I'm gonna get to meet my mom when I do! Dad said they both left chakra impressions in the seal. Dad's was there to act as a failsafe to tighten the seal once if it started to weaken. Mom has been acting as the filter to keep Kurama from being able to influence my thoughts too much. He said they would probably both appear once I went in to break the seal open. I already got to meet dad, so that's no big deal, but mom isn't here, so this is my only chance to really meet her." Naruto frowned then thoughtfully and nodded to himself as though coming to a decision. He made a clone which popped itself immediately, updating his clone network on whatever decision he'd come to. "Anyway, I should get on that. Haku told me that he, Aki and Kitsuchi all sealed their bijuu and mastered their chakra already while we were gone. B had already done so. It's up to the rest of us to finish things so we can end this whole eldritch abomination thing and the stupid rabbit lady wanting to eat the world for once and for all." Naruto nodded, hands on his hips. "I should go do that now."

"Alright. Try not to take too, too long. We're starting dinner now." Harry nodded.

"Wish us luck." Gaara sighed.

"Luck!" Harry, Neville and Luna chirped.

Naruto, Gaara, Roshi, Yuugito, and Utakata trooped out looking determined. Haku, Aki, Kitsuchi and B went with them to supervise, and to remind the grumpier bijuu (Kurama, Shukaku) that they'd agreed to this and were meant to cooperate. Naruto glanced over once they were outside and saw his dad doing different jutsus while old man Hokage and Kakashi-sensei watched in interest. "Probably just getting used to his zombie body" Naruto decided, putting it out of his mind.

 

The five jinchuuriki who were going to be working today formed a loose circle on the ground of the beach, while the other four settled beyond them at the four compass points. Naruto closed his eyes and stepped into his mindscape. He hadn't really come directly here since he'd started this training. It looked a lot different than he'd been expecting. Normally it looked like a dark cave with sludgy water underfoot--dark, dank and kind of creepy. The whole back wall was taken up by enormous barred gates that sealed the Kyuubi in its prison. It was usually quite dark and kind of shadowy in there too. Instead, there seemed to be light streaking down through the place, like shafts of sunlight breaking through the leafy canopy of an old forest. The water that filled the floor was crystal clear. He looked around and decided he liked it much better this way--much less depressing. The kyuubi's gigantic head filled the space behind the gates. He seemed to be asleep, leaning on his paws, but his house-sized red eyes snapped open as he approached.

"Ready, Kurama?" he asked.

"So, we're really going to do this, Fishcake? You sure you don't want to reconsider? I could decide to eat you instead." Kurama grumbled.

"That would be really dumb, and since you're not dumb, I know you're not going to do that." Naruto said confidently. "Plus, all the other bijuu will make fun of you-- poor Kurama, just can't cut it, oh well, I guess it's up to us now-- and I know you don't want that, so I guess we just gotta do our thing then!" Naruto quipped back cheerfully.

"Brat." the fox sighed.

Though he was trying to act very nonchalant, he watched with undisguised interest as Naruto approached the gates and gripped the ofuda that lay across the lock--set with the simple word "seal". Naruto was unsurprised when a hand reached out to firmly grip his wrist and stop him. Naruto turned his head to look at the chakra impression of his father that he'd warned him about.

"It's okay, dad. I'm not being influenced. Bump fists with me." Naruto held out his fist.

His father looked puzzled, but obligingly bumped fists. A few moments passed and he blinked as he tried to take everything in.

"Ah, I see. Good luck then." he nodded. A moment later he was gone.

"Interfering baggage." Kurama huffed.

"He was looking out for me in case you managed to mind control me and drive me crazy." Naruto reminded him as he pulled away the seal. By this point, Kurama was all but vibrating in impatience.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" he demanded.

"Hang on! I gotta unlock the gate first, geez! It's okay though, I got the key from pervy sage while I was in the village…well, one of my clones did, but it still counts. See?" he held up his hand to show Kurama the mark on it. He uncovered the seal on his belly and fitted the mark to it and turned. As he did so the lock on the gate unfurled with a steady click, click, click, click. Kurama's toothy smile filled his whole face as Naruto threw the gates open.

"This was the easy part, Kit" the fox reminded him. "You still have to prove yourself worthy."

"He will. He's my son after all, ya know!"

"Mom!"

 

She was even prettier in person than she was in her picture. Her violet eyes were brighter, her fiery red hair more vibrant than any old photograph could really convey.

"Naruto, I've…oof!" she grunted when he tackled her. She got over her surprise quickly and hugged him back. "I've been waiting a long time to meet you."

"Bump fists with me. I have got so much to tell you!"

"Um, okay?" she agreed easily.

Their fists met and she froze, her mouth dropping open in shock.

"Oh my goodness! Nagato was alive all this time? …and I totally had a baby girl after I was dead? Damn, I always knew Danzo was creepy, but geez! And our collective ultimate grandma wants to eat us all. Wow. And she made Obito kill me and your dad and tried to blow you up the day you were born! Grr!"

Naruto laughed nervously and backed away slowly as Kushina's hair began whipping around behind her, looking scarily like the Kyuubi's tails, and flames seemed to erupt in her eyes.

"What a jerk grandma is, ya know? Grandmas are supposed to like, bake cookies and stuff not do all this! I'm really ticked off about this!"

"Yeah, me too!" Naruto laughed nervously. "But, we caught the black thing and now we're all synchronizing with the bijuu so we can destroy the creepy statue thing and put this all behind us."

Kushina slowly calmed down and nodded.

"When you see Obito again, punch him in the head a few times, and then tell him I'm glad he's still alive, but now he needs to go back to the village so he can keep his promise to return safely, and I'll know if he didn't and I'll punish him for ten thousand years once he finally dies, ya know. You tell him that and then punch him again in the head to be sure it sinks in." she said fiercely before nodding once as though to indicate that everything was settled and there was nothing more to talk about.

"Uh, sure thing mom. I'll be sure to do that." Naruto nodded hurriedly.

Nagato was suddenly standing nearby looking startled and looking around in confusion.

"Geez, Fishcake, really? We gonna invite the whole village in for a confab next?" Kurama grumbled with a deep sigh, as he settled back down and rested his head on his paw while looking deeply irritated.

"What? She thought he was dead, and he didn’t know about her at all. They should at least have a chance to say hi, ya know!" Naruto complained.

Kushina stared at Nagato in wonder, then squealed and pounced on him, squeezing him tight, then grabbed his cheeks and pulled on them while laughing in delight.

"Baby brother! It's great to see you! Thanks for not being crazy no more and killing my baby boy…you'd have been real sorry when you died had you done that." she added with quite a lot of malice for someone smiling so sweetly.

Yoko appeared a moment later, looking if anything more confused than Nagato had.

"Big brother? What's going on? Your clone didn't really…ACK!"

"MY BABY GIRL!" Kushina squealed, pouncing on Yoko next.

"Mom?" Yoko said in a small voice.

Kushina beamed at her and gave her another squeeze.

"I always planned to have a girl next, so I'm really happy…even if it sucks I wasn't around for any of it. I'm really happy to meet you."

Yoko's eyes filled with tears and she threw herself on Kushina with a wail. Kushina smiled down at her softly and held out an arm for Naruto to join them. Once he had she grinned at Nagato and gestured with her head since her arms were full of children.

"Hey, little bro, you get over here too. We only got a short time here before I disappear. We gotta have at least one group hug as a family. It's a rule, ya know, I just made it up, so ya gotta do it."

Nagato huffed a bit, but he was smiling, and joined the group hug without much complaint.

 

 

Nagato's eyes snapped open and he turned to look at the Naruto clone who was sitting beside his hospital bed with his hand on his head.

"Was that real?"

"Yeah. She left a chakra impression in my seal to help me. It was all in my head, or at least my seal, but it was real enough." the clone nodded.

"My elder sister was quite a character, wasn't she?"

"Yeah, you can say that." Naruto laughed.

"You're a lot like her, you know."

"Thanks. You and her look a lot alike--especially now that you're a nice, healthy tan instead of chalky white like you were, and you have the same color eyes. Oh, that reminds me."

Nagato looked at him curiously as he rose and moved to Obito's bed. Minato was at his bedside, where they'd been talking quietly. Both of them glanced up at Naruto curiously when he approached, their conversation falling silent.

"Naruto? Did you need something?" Minato asked.

"I was asked to deliver a message." Naruto said with a grin, as he did a henge.

Minato and Obito both blanched to see Kushina suddenly standing there, wicked grin in place.

"So, I'm real glad to hear you're alive and all, but now you need to go back to the village. You promised me you'd return safely and you haven't done it yet, so you'd best get to it, or I'll punish you for ten thousand years when you're dead, 'cause promises are important and you should totally keep them when you can, ya know."

Obito blanched and pressed back into the bed when "Kushina" suddenly loomed over him, fire in her eyes, her hair whipping behind her in menace and punched him hard in the head before digging 'her' knuckles in and grinding them down.

"Just to make sure it sinks in, ya know!" she chirped.

Minato and Obito both gaped at "Kushina" in horror when she straightened up, suddenly all smiles and flashed a victory sign.

"That's all I wanted to say. Kushina out!"

There was a poof of chakra smoke, and "Kushina" disappeared, leaving Naruto in her place, grinning at them both smugly.

"Mom's awesome, isn't she?" he said with great cheer, before skipping back to sit with Nagato, who was trying not to laugh.

 

 

Back in Konoha, another Naruto clone was standing with Yoko in the middle of the street, rubbing her back while she tried to stop crying.

"Naruto? Yoko-chan? Everything alright?"

"Oh hey Shin… and uh, Megumi-chan, right?"

"We are not well acquainted, Uzumaki-sama. Megumi-san would be more appropriate." the girl, Megumi sniffed.

"Wow. What crawled up your ass and died, geez." Naruto complained, making a face.

"Mind your manners, brother. You're our clan head. Try to have some damned dignity." Yoko complained while wiping away tears.

"We're all comrades of the Leaf. We shouldn't have to stand on ceremony, geez."

"You never answered my question." Shin repeated. "Is everything alright?"

Yoko smiled. "I got to meet my mom. She said she was happy to meet me." she admitted, sniffling.

"Really? We got to meet our dad." Shin offered.

"Yeah? Is that where he went? Sakura-chan said he got called up as an Edo Tensei, but her and the others left so Kakashi-sensei could talk to him alone, but I never saw him after. Some of them moved on not too long after because they didn’t want to be alive again, or a zombie rather, so I just kinda figured he did that…but he came here, huh?" Naruto said in interest.

"Yeah, he, uh, caused a bit of a stir when he showed up and demanded to see us both." Shin laughed. "The Hokage took care of it. He sent some ANBU to find us and gave us a room to talk in so people weren't just gawking at us on the street."

"Yeah? Well, Hokage-niichan is awesome like that." Naruto nodded, unsurprised. "Where're you off to now?"

"We're looking for Gai-san. Apparently he has the keys to the old Hatake compound. Father said we could live there if we wanted, Anko-san as well if she wanted to. We wanted to see the place and see how much work needed to be done to make it liveable. Father said Kakashi-nissan closed it up and moved out after he found him dead there after he committed suicide." Shin explained.

Naruto clone nodded and made another clone, which popped.

"Um…what…?"

"Wait for it." Naruto assured him. A few minutes later he said "He's at training ground three with his team. He said he will certainly fetch the keys for his hip rival's youthful siblings within five minutes and meet them at the gates of the compound. If he fails he will do five thousand push-ups on his thumbs."

"Gai-san is so weird." Megumi complained.

"Gai-sensei is made of awesome and youth." Yoko said firmly. "Do not mock the beautiful green beast."

"Believe it." Naruto nodded.

"Okay then. Any idea where the old compound is? I kind of forgot to ask…" Shin laughed in embarrassment.

"Yeah, it's over that way. It's not too far from the Uchiha place, actually. We're on the other side, and I'm pretty sure the Inuzukas are the next compound in line after Hatake." Naruto explained. "Mind company? I've passed by but I've never actually seen the place."

"Sure. The more the merrier. I'm sure we can use a few extra dozen hands to fix the place up." Shin laughed. "Yeah, that's me. One man fix it brigade." Naruto grumbled. "Are you volunteering? Thanks for your help!" Shin chirped, ducking out of the way and cackling when Naruto took a swing at him.

 

 

 

"You never really notice how much time is taken up with eating and sleeping until you don't have to do them anymore." Madara grumbled.

He, and the four Hokages, were seated outside on the slope overlooking the bay while the rest of the group had dinner.

"Sounds marvelous, really. You could get so much more done." Minato mused.

"Not really. It's kind of depressing, actually. In fact, I think I feel almost sorry for the Sage, Homura…and even somewhat for their mother, though less her than the rest. They were like that all the time for the whole of their long, long, long lives, while everyone around them wasn't. We've been like this a couple of weeks at most, and it's depressing. Everyone around you is sleeping, the world is dark, and guess what? When you have all the time in the world to stare at the stars, or watch the waves roll in, it loses its appeal really, really quickly. When you think about how many idiots spend their lives searching for immortality, you just have to laugh because it's really not all it's cracked up to be. All those weird samurai poets had it right--the real beauty of life is in its brevity. It's easy to fall into a kind of fugue without that sense of time passing and running out."

"You read samurai poetry?" Tobirama asked, sounding rather bemused.

"Some. I also read some written by monks…which was a mistake. It was all religion and denying yourself things and looking for nonexistence. Yeaugh." Madara grumbled. "Now, poetry written by courtesans tends to be rather entertaining…cynical, but entertaining. Forget about the stuff written by the courtiers of the daimyo's court, it's all terribly pretentious. They all try so hard to sound wise and worldly, they tend to just suck the life right out of their verses. I think the samurai stuff was actually the best of the lot, with the courtesans taking second place. I hadn't come across any written by shinobi…well, unless one counts the mushy crap Hashirama used to write when we were kids…"

"You told me you liked it!" Hashirama gasped.

"I said I was sure your betrothed would appreciate the effort you put in." Madara smirked.

Hashirama pouted at him, then turned betrayed, wounded eyes on his brother when he realized he was chuckling lightly under his breath.

"It's a little unnerving sitting out here with that thing sticking out of the ground." Minato noted, side-eyeing the statue.

"We're just waiting on all the jinchuuriki to complete their training so we can destroy the thing. Hopefully it will be all over then." Tobirama assured him. "But yes, it is unnerving."

They all turned to look when they heard the rest of the group wandering outside, chattering. Sarutobi and Minato both tensed when they spotted a miniature kyuubi trotting beside Naruto, looking around in interest and sniffing the air. They all tensed when they realized there were miniature versions of all the bijuu accompanying their respective jinchuuriki, though they tried not to make it too obvious.

It was just falling to night, and the horizon was a spectacular red-orange-purple, and the ocean in shadow looked like rich, dark wine. They could only watch in bemusement as the miniature bijuu began chasing each other around happily, pouncing on one another and rolling around like a little of hyperactive puppies rather than the mountain sized natural disasters they actually were.

They got distracted from the bijuu when eerie music began to sound nearby. Hari and Toma had more hidden talents it seemed. Hari had a silver flute that looked like something one would only find in the daimyo's palace. Toma had a small stringed instrument shaped like Madara's gunbai that produced rather pleasing sounds when he dragged his bow across it. After a few bars Runa began to sing softly, and Nebiru joined in a moment later. None of them could understand the words, but it was pretty, and Runa and Nebiru's voices sounded quite lovely together.

Minato twitched when he realized the bijuu had stopped wrestling and had gathered in a half circle to listen.

When the song ended, Hari began another, this time a song they all recognized as a very old folk song. Minato twitched again when a voice was once more raised in song.

"Infamous mad-man missing nin Madara Uchiha is singing." he thought to himself with a bit of hysteria. He twitched again when Obito joined in. It was strange seeing them side by side like this, especially now that the worst of Obito's scars had been removed. They looked quite a bit alike, beyond the Uchiha family resemblance. Minato had a strange inkling that if Obito were to grow his hair out the same way the resemblance would be uncanny. They had the same smile and many of the same expressions, he'd noted after spending a bit of time with Madara. It had been rather startling, actually.

He looked around and found Hashirama gazing at Madara with what could only be called adoration--tinged with long held grief that was just beginning to heal. He noted with a pang of sorrow that Kakashi was staring at Obito the same way.

Tobirama's expression was much more complicated. He'd always heard that he and Madara didn't get along--that they'd quite sincerely hated one another in fact…and yet, that didn't look like hatred on his face. It looked kind of like regret, actually.

Sarutobi just looked faintly bemused, but willing to roll with things. He'd been pretty zen since they'd been called back, actually.

 _"I guess that's not too surprising, really. He's out of the shinigami's belly, no one is making him fight or do paperwork… This is probably the first actual vacation he's had since his brief retirement before I died."_ he realized. _"In fact…this is the first vacation I've had myself, really, since I became a ninja. In fact…that's probably true for all of us. That's…kind of sad, actually."_

Minato looked around and could only marvel at how strange it all was--shinobi of every nation, the living and the dead, plus nine chakra monsters gathered in the ruins of an island nation to listen to an impromptu concert by aliens from another world.

_"Well…at least I'll have plenty to tell Kushina when I see her again."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who's been with me thus far, especially those who have left comments and kudos. It helps me remember there are real, actual people who aren't me out there reading.


	13. Time to save the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto and company meditate some more, then blow shit up. The Uchiha clan is full of gossips.

"Everyone ready? This is the final test…the seventh gate. The thought chakra gate is blocked by worldly attachments and is fueled by cosmic energy. Let go of your earthly attachments and become one with the universe." Harry said quietly.

Their meditation group had grown to be rather large--four wizards, nine jinchuuriki, plus Kakashi, Tenzo, Sasuke and Sakura, Nagato and Konan. Everyone exchanged a glance, then settled into their meditative position.

Obito, Madara and the four Hokages all turned to look when a flash of light signaled a new arrival.

"Jiraiya-sensei!?" Minato said in surprise.

"Lord Third!" Karin who had just arrived said, equally shocked.

"Jiraiya. Karin-chan, it's good to see you both again." Sarutobi said at the same time.

"Sensei! Minato!" Jiraiya squawked, before turning to the Naruto clone he'd traveled with. "You left some stuff out of you stories!"

"They haven't been around for that long!" the clone defended himself, jumping out of the way when Jiraiya tried to punch him in the head. "Oi! Don't pop me! You'll ruin boss' concentration! We're all under orders not to do any popping till he's done!"

"Jiraiya, what brings you here?" Sarutobi interjected.

"Oh, right. I came to pick Lord Second's brain a bit. The Hyuga kids want to change the caged bird seal so it will still protect them but not let any Ootsutsukis take them out whenever they want. Their heiress asked me to design a new one. Karin-chan and I have been brainstorming a bit already, but I thought we should take advantage of Lord Second's knowledge while we had him available. If you're here too, Minato, that's even better!" Jiraiya explained.

"Oh. Well, we can certainly do that." Minato nodded. "Until they finish, all we really were planning to do was stand around and watch them."

"I actually already designed such a seal, back when the Hyuga first joined the village--just in case." Tobirama interjected, squatting down and smoothing out some of the damp sand beneath his feet. "I'll have to see if I can remember what I did."

"Well. That's certainly helpful." Karin grumbled just a bit.

Jiraiya, Karin, Minato, Sarutobi and the Naruto clone gathered around to see what Tobirama was doing, while Obito, Madara, and Hashirama gathered behind them to watch and listen in.

 

 

"Let go of my earthly attachments… that still seems wrong. My whole life, it's been hammered home again and again--everything for the village. Your loyalty, your blood, sweat and tears, your family, your life--all of it for the village. Konoha--protecting and preserving it has been the foundation of my entire existence." Naruto thought to himself glumly. "Who am I without it?"

Kakashi was having a similar crisis. He'd been a shinobi much longer than his students, after all.

The rest of the jinchuuriki--those who were still loyal to their villages were struggling with the idea as well. For Gaara it was even worse--he was the kage, the leader of his village. It seemed disrespectful to be even trying to rid himself of those feelings.

Those who had left their villages behind were actually having similar troubles, much to their surprise. Village indoctrination started young, and tended to linger even when one struggled to rid themselves of it.

For Sakura, her dilemma was a bit different. Oh, she was a loyal kunoichi of her village, but that wasn't the attachment that had come to mind when she began her meditation. It was Sasuke. She'd broken her friendship with Ino because of Sasuke. She'd dieted, grown out her hair, struggled to be cute and feminine and sweet in order to please him. She'd started taking her training seriously only when she'd realized he was never going to give her the time of day unless she was strong--not to better serve her village, not to better herself, not to better protect her teammates or any of the reasons she should have had to train--only for him. Loving Sasuke had been the foundation of her whole personality since she was a little girl. So much so, in fact, that a small part of her wondered if there would actually be anything left if she were to let that go.

All of them could feel it when Neville's seventh gate opened, like a ripple in the fabric of the world. He had done it once before already, so it came a bit easier to him than to everyone else. Luna's opened a few minutes later. No one who had spent any time with her was at all surprised.

Harry felt eyes on him and opened his to see Tom gazing at him, looking a bit lost and a tiny bit fearful. Harry reached out and Tom met him halfway and their fingers clasped for a moment. They had a silent conversation--they'd each still be there and still love each other once they came back down to earth. Reassured, they went back to their meditation and their gates opened together a few minutes later.

B and Haku, both of whom had taken to the training the easiest of the group opened their gates a short time later.

Naruto, still struggling, tried to 'erase' his mental image of Konoha, hoping it would be enough. The Hokage Mountain disappeared. The Academy. The Hokage Tower. His old apartment building. The Uchiha district… one by one the clan compounds vanished, then the shops. He had to stifle a whimper when Ichiraku Ramen vanished. The Uzumaki compound was last.

All the people were still there, all his precious people…including the new/old ones he'd just gotten who were all dead: his parents, Madara-nii, Grandpa and Uncle Tobi, old man Hokage… It made him think about death a bit. He'd always hated death--it had taken his parents the day he was born. It had taken the old man when he was only 13. It was a terrible, awful thing that stole your precious people away and never gave them back… Except…they were still around, even if he couldn't see them. They still loved him. Sometimes they were reborn as new people. The same but different--a new loop on a spiral, not a straight line with a firm end. It made death a lot less scary.

He still missed the ones who were gone, but not in the same greedy way that howled in protest and ate a hole in his heart when they were taken. Naruto took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, and as he did, the people began disappearing one by one from his mental construct. He could feel the final chakra gate as it began to spin open and unfurl, and he laughed.

 

Karin gasped, Tobirama shivered. Jiraiya glanced up at the circle of meditation and shivered as well.

"Brother?" Hashirama said with concern.

"About half of them have succeeded. I can feel it when the gates open. They get slowly filled with natural energy and sort of blend into their surroundings a bit. They don't disappear, but they seem to become part of the world in a way they weren't before. When the last gate opens… I can't explain it, but it's like they become more real than everything around them." Tobirama explained.

"The amount of chakra running through them is crazy." Madara agreed, staring at them with his sharingan. Beside him Obito nodded, dumbfounded. "Yeah, it's like they've got a pillar of light running through the center of them that's made of whirlpools. Heh. Maybe this was a good spot for all this, being the Land of Whirlpools and all." he chuckled.

"They all feel like sages now." Hashirama noted.

"So warm and bright…" Karin breathed.

"All of them?" Sarutobi said in wonder. "If that's true, this training is invaluable. Most who attempt to become a sage through the more traditional routes have a very high rate of failure."

"And even success doesn't always come without a price." Jiraiya agreed wryly.

He somewhat resembled a toad when he went into sage mode. Useful as it was, he was always hesitant to use it. He didn't want any women to see him like that and ruin his chances with them for all time.

"All of them that have succeeded so far." Hashirama corrected.

"This is Ninshū." Tobirama mused "Or at least something very like it from what I've read about the old practices. The Sage of the Six paths wanted to connect everyone, and hoped if everyone could let go of their hatred and see each other's hearts there would be an end to conflict."

"Well, he was a pseudo-immortal plant man with no physical needs. If it was as simple as acknowledging our shared humanity, and recognizing our opponents as people like ourselves, we would have world peace already." Minato said wryly. "People still need to eat, need to feed their families, and fighting over resources so they can do that leads to conflicts. It will always lead to conflicts to some degree. If you have five people who all need resources, four might agree to share, but the fifth will take the bulk and run while everyone else is making nice. Probably the best we can ever hope for in this world is to lessen conflicts--they'll never be completely gone."

"It's still the ideal we should strive for." Hashirama said firmly.

"Of course, but this is the _impure_ world for a reason. I imagine souls have far fewer problems." Minato replied, voice wry.

 

Gaara and Utakata's gates opened next, with Yuugito following soon after. Roshi was next, then Aki.

"That's almost all the jinchuuriki. Just Kitsuchi left. The others seem to be having more difficulty with the task, oddly enough. I would have thought it would be the other way around." Tobirama noted.

"Well…the final gate connects you to cosmic energy…the jinchuuriki have already connected to a power outside themselves. I would think it would just be more of the same, really." Hashirama disagreed.

"Hmm. I suppose that's one explanation." Tobirama allowed.

"I would imagine the jinchuuriki have worked harder than the rest." Obito offered. "They know it means they'll be unstable and dangerous if they don't master this. For the rest of them it was strictly voluntary."

"That's true." Sarutobi nodded.

Kitsuchi's gate opened.

"That's all the jinchuuriki." Minato murmured, hesitating briefly when another gate opened right after "And the first of the others. Nagato. Oh, and Konan."

"Ah, Tenzo, good job." Hashirama said cheerfully.

"Well done, Sakura." Tobirama said with satisfaction.

"Come on Sasuke…" Madara urged.

It was a further agonizing twenty minutes when the last two holdouts opened their gates almost simultaneously.

"Atta boy, Kakashi." Obito said very quietly.

"Well done, children, well done." Sarutobi murmured.

"Okay…so they're all enlightened and what have you. What now?" Obito asked impatiently as the minutes ticked by and they showed no signs of stirring.

"I guess we wait." Hashirama shrugged.

"Naruto! What are you doing?" Tobirama grumbled.

While the rest were talking, the Naruto clone had been playing with the seal Tobirama had drawn in the sand.

"Huh? I was just simplifying it a bit."

"Oh, nice." Karin agreed, crouching down again. "Hmmm…what if…" she mused as she changed one of the elements.

"Yeah, and then…" Naruto tweaked another part. "Then we could take out this whole section and…"

"Do you two mind?" Tobirama grumbled.

"Oh, yes I see. What if you…" Minato added, crouching down as well.

Tobirama crossed his arms and glowered, but was ignored.

"Too late. They're in seal heaven. There'll be no talking to any of them for a while now." Jiraiya sighed.

 

 

It was another two hours before any of the meditation group stirred. Bit by bit the ocean of energy that filled them slowly drained away, though they all still seemed to brim with overwhelming vitality. Madara noted that all their eyes were now flecked with gold--they'd been completely golden when they'd first opened them. It took a while for them to shake off whatever they'd experienced when the last gate had opened, but eventually they began to stand and stretch out some of the stiffness that came from sitting motionless in one position.

"So?" Minato finally ventured to ask "What was it like?"

"Um…well…it was cool? I was myself and Kurama was Kurama, but we were also the whole universe or something. It was weird." was Naruto's succinct summation. "Also, my mindscape now looks like a garden paradise with like trees and flowers and ponds and stuff. Kurama's got a big grassy plateau to stretch out on and all. It's neat."

"I see." Minato replied. "You were the universe?" he repeated.

"Yeah. I sorta understood everything all at once…but it's already slipping away. I guess I can kinda see why some folks might want to be like that all the time. It was peaceful. It's weird just being regular old me again. Yeah, yeah, hold your horses!" he suddenly grumbled, doing hand signs.

A miniature kyuubi appeared at his side again and stretched before shaking himself all over. Kyuubi looked different. The angry bloody red of his fur and eyes had been softened to a medium-dark orange burnished with gold. He looked more like a peaceful sunset than a bloody harbinger of war. Minato looked around at the rest of the bijuu who were all out of their seals in miniature, and saw they'd all gotten a color upgrade with gold highlights. He looked then at all the human participants in today's experiment and saw that beyond some flecks of gold in their eyes they hadn't changed appearance much, but there was a certain air of gravitas that hadn't been there before.

"What's with them?" he asked, tilting his head slightly to indicate Tom and Harry who were standing close together with their foreheads pressed together.

"Oh, they're just relieved. They didn't know what was going to happen, and there was a possibility that they might gain the universe but lose each other, ya know, because Buddha's not down with sexy times and all." Naruto nodded sagely.

"Um, what?" Minato asked, confused. Upon thinking about it, he thought he might understand somewhat. You could only see the forest or the trees--humans just weren't built to see both at once. If 'being the universe' had been a permanent state…

He turned his head slightly when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. Madara and Obito went to meet Sasuke. The three of them stared at each other for a moment, then Sasuke nodded and the other two grunted thoughtfully.

_"Uchihas."_ Minato thought with some amusement. He didn't care how many times Kushina insisted Mikoto was made of awesome, sugar and really sharp kunai _(because she's a kick-ass kunoichi, duh, not because she's cold and hard. Geez, pretty boy, work with me here, ya know?!")_ the fact was they were _weird._

His attention was drawn away from the Uchihas by a tree rapidly growing nearby. Hashirama's face broke out in a wide, delighted smile at the sight of it.

"Your mokuton has improved quite a lot! Well done!" he congratulated Tenzo, who was eyeing the tree with shock and no little amazement.

"I was missing something before. I didn't have true mokuton, I could only create dead wood. I seem to have acquired whatever the missing element was. I couldn't grow living things before, just squared-off wooden beams, basic houses and the like." Tenzo explained.

"You weren't a sage before--you didn't have a connection to the natural world, you were simply combining your water and earth elements." Hashirama nodded.

Minato turned his head slightly when he saw Madara nod and give Obito an encouraging shove to his shoulder. Obito glanced at his ancestor and then held his clasped hands before him like he was praying and another tree sprouted--Obito's doing this time.

"You as well? This is wonderful!" Hashirama gushed. "It was only ever me before. I'm so glad to know it isn't lost to the world."

"There's only one thing left to do." Kitsuchi spoke up, reminding everyone that they weren't just on vacation. "We still need to destroy the statue. That's what we've ultimately been working towards."

"Yes, we've all lingered long enough. We're all here for a purpose." Yuugito agreed.

"Combined bijuu blast?" B suggested. "We can all take part."

"All nine of you? Won't that, you know, obliterate what's left of this country?" Minato laughed nervously.

"Nonsense! We can just put up a barrier." Hashirama waved his concerns away. "I'm sure it will be fine!"

The wizards exchanged a look, and Tom rather pointedly packed up his cabin and put it in his pocket.

"We'll be over there, 'kay?" Harry said cheerfully, pointing off into the distance.

"Honestly! Have some faith in us." Madara grumbled, sounding offended.

 

 

In spite of Madara's grumbling, the wizards, Nagato and Konan, as well as Kakashi, Sakura, Sasuke, Obito and Tenzo all chose to place themselves where they could still see everything, but would hopefully have enough leeway to run like hell should anything go wrong. The jinchuuriki and the edo tenseis would likely survive; the rest of them not so much. Harry was not ashamed in the least to admit he shuddered a bit when the full statue was drawn up out of the ground. Even seated, the thing towered above them like a mountain--taller even. It might just be perspective playing tricks on their eyes, but it seemed to be a lot larger than any of the nearby mountains, and it looked like its head was among the clouds.

"That thing…with the power of _all_ the bijuu…By the sage, it's no wonder most of the futures Homura-sama saw were the end of the world." Sakura murmured, rubbing her arms a bit.

"Even with its power and will removed…that thing still feels rather icky." Luna noted.

"When we get home, we'll have to add all our adventures here to the entries about the vampire tree, so people know it isn't just a myth." Neville agreed. "Especially if there's more of those people out there just flitting around from world to world growing more of them on purpose so they can get power."

"This trip has been quite a boon to the world of scholarship." Tom agreed.

The jinchuuriki formed a large ring around the statue, while the Edo tenseis all stood a bit closer, inside the ring. The jinchuuriki transformed into their bijuu--each of them towering over the tiny human figures of the Edo tenseis, and yet looking the size of cats next to the gargantuan Gedo Mazo. At some unseen signal, the bijuu opened their mouths and a ball of chakra began to form inside, rolling and spinning as it gathered energy.

"I really, really hope their barrier can contain all that." Tenzo said bleakly, shivering at the sheer amount of power he could feel gathering.

As one the bijuu roared, launching their blasts. As soon as the blasts passed the edo tenseis they put up a red barrier surrounding the statue, but open on the top to allow the pressure to escape. When the blasts impacted, the world went funny for a bit, like they were all trapped in a photo negative. The noise of the blasts combining was so loud they couldn't hear anything at all. They could feel the destruction happening in their bones as the world shook. It took several long minutes for everyone to blink the spots out of their eyes and to get their hearing back. The wizards and non-jinchuuriki approached once they could see again. The statue had been reduced to a pile of ash that began to drift away on the breeze once the barrier was lifted. Tom pulled the bubble prison from his pocket and smiled happily upon seeing it was empty. He held it up so everyone could see.

"It's over then? We did it? We saved the world?" Aki asked hesitantly.

"We did it." B agreed, ruffling Aki's hair.

"WOO HOO!" Naruto cheered, throwing his hands up in the air.

The rest of the jinchuuriki and Edo tenseis laughed and then started cheering as well.

 

 

 

"What the hell!?" Isamu Uchiha, who was serving as a gate guard this rotation spluttered.

"Huh? What?" his partner for the day, Inabi Uchiha asked worriedly, looking around for trouble.

"Look down the road, what do you see?" Isamu demanded.

"I see that flying carpet again. Why a carpet do you think? Surely something stiff would be easier to hold up…" Inabi mused.

"Don't worry about the carpet! Who's on the front?"

"One of those visiting foreigners and Kakashi Hatake."

"Look at his eyes!" Isamu demanded.

"Huh. I can see both…where is Obito's sharingan!?"

"That's the question, isn't it? We were gracious enough to allow him to keep it, and he went and lost the damn thing and got himself another eye!" Isamu said with great offense as he turned on his own sharingan to take a better look. It was possible that it was an unfortunate choice of transformation technique done by someone who didn't realize how much it looked like the infamous "Copy ninja", though that seemed unlikely.

"Do…you think he gave it back to him?" Inabi wondered. "Obito is still alive. That's what Itachi…"

"Hokage-sama"

"Hokage-sama and Shisui said."

"Well…if he gave it back to him, that's alright, I suppose. I wonder who's eye they got him to replace it?" Isamu wondered.

 

 

The carpet landed a short distance from the gate and Kakashi climbed off and came sauntering towards them while the foreigner he'd been riding beside leaned into the tent to talk to whoever was inside. Inabi watched, as Isamu greeted Kakashi.

Sasuke and his teammate Sakura climbed out of the tent.

_"Probably sitting on each other's laps the whole way, poor things."_ Inabi thought to himself with some amusement.

Then the rest of the foreigners climbed out, then Tenzo…and another Uzumaki by the look of him, and a blue-haired woman…and Jiraiya, and Karin Uzumaki…Obito! He really was alive, he had both his eyes…and he had Madara Uchiha's famous gunbai strapped to his back!

Inabi's eyes bugged out when the Lord Third, who appeared to be a zombie…and the First and Second, who were also zombies…and the Fourth…and Lord Madara (also a zombie) climbed out next.

Inabi tried to smack Isamu's arm to get his attention, but as he was watching the frankly ridiculous parade of people coming out of the very small tent and not looking at him he kept missing and ended up just sort of flailing ineffectually with one arm while gaping.

Naruto Uzumaki came next. He was dressed all in white, and was wearing a forehead protector with "9" on his head. A miniature Kyuubi jumped out after him, sniffed the air, then sauntered through the gates of Konoha like he owned the place. A cloud nin in the same outfit, with the symbol for "8" came next, carrying what looked to be a miniature ushi-oni. A little boy with "7" carrying a very large rhinoceros beetle…then a young man with "6" accompanied by a large six-tailed slug…then the son of the Tsuchikage climbed out with a minature five-tailed dolphin-horse, then a red-haired man with "4" accompanied by a four-tailed gorilla, then a young…person (was that a boy or a girl? Ah, had a adam's apple, a boy) with a three tailed turtle lumbering after him, then a blonde woman, also in white with "2", accompanied by a two-tailed cat, and then the Kazekage, dressed like the others, with his sand gourd on his back with "1" on his head, followed by a tanuki.

Inabi quivered in place. ALL of the jinchuuriki of ALL the nations that had them were inside the walls of Konoha…and the beasts were loose and running around outside their bodies. Was this okay? How were all of them so calm?!

Lord Madara halted inside the entrance to the village and looked around with a wistful, conflicted look on his face. One of the foreigners, the one who almost looked like he could be one of their clansmen, went to him and grabbed his arm to tug him inside. The Lord First, who had been simply beaming at everything and everyone, bounced over to Madara and grabbed his other arm and pulled him along.

"Madara! We should go to our spot and take a look at the village and see how it's grown! Brother and I didn't really get much of a chance to look around the last time we were here."

"I imagine everyone has to check in. We can meet back at the Uzumaki place after. That's where we're staying." the foreigner told him.

"I'd like to look around as well. The last time I saw the place, everything was a bit smashed up and everything was on fire." the Lord Fourth said rather cheerfully.

Isamu and Inabi could only watch in disbelief as four of the five Hokages and the very first missing nin--even if he'd been posthumously cleared of all charges--went leaping off across the village towards the Hokage mountain.

"So…Hashirama and your brother have a spot. Are we sure it's actually Tobirama he had a thing for?" Neville asked Harry after everyone leapt away.

Isamu spluttered, mouthing _"brother?!",_ while Inabi leaned forward eagerly, hoping for some more hot gossip. Lord Madara nurtured a passion for the Lord Second? How scandalous!

"It's from when they were kids. They used to climb atop the mountain there and plan out the village. Once the village was actually built they'd go up there sometimes so they could see how it was growing." Harry replied. "They were up there when Madara named the village. Hashirama had just named the position of Hokage and they got into an argument about which of them was bad at naming things." he laughed.

Luna shaded her eyes and watched the five small dots race up the face of the mountain. Harry saw where she was looking and peered over as well.

"Right above the Fourth Hokage's head. It's sort of ironic, really. Naruto and I hung out in that spot a few times as well. He didn't even know it was his dad's head we were sitting on at the time."

"Maybe you felt a connection to it because it was important to your brother?" Luna suggested.

"I doubt it. I, or rather Izuna, was already long dead when the village was built." Harry disagreed. "And it was Naruto's spot, I just went there with him."

"Tenzo, Obito and I are going to go report in to the Hokage." Kakashi interrupted. "We'll see all of you a bit later."

"I should probably go as well. It's rather bad form for a Kage to visit another village and not pay their respects." Gaara interjected.

Kakashi nodded and the four of them headed off towards the tower.

"Alright, the rest of us need to make a stop. It's been hours since breakfast, so we definitely need to visit Ichiraku's for ramen." Naruto announced. "Everyone, follow me!"

"I'm not actually that fond of ramen…" Utakata began, but he quieted when Naruto turned to look at him in horror and began doing a weird spastic dance around him while waving his arms.

"AACK! Blasphemy! We need to get you filled up with ramen right now, so you can be converted to the cult of savory goodness! It's the food of the gods! How dare you!"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure the kami…" Kurama began.

"Silence! The kami do not prefer inarizushi, I don't care what you say!"

Harry started snickering and looked at the Kyuubi with amusement.

"Inarizushi is Madara's favorite food. He'll be so thrilled to know he's apparently a kami now."

Kurama began gasping and flailing much like Naruto had been.

"NOOO! LIES!" the fox groaned dramatically.

Isamu and Inabi traded a look, both of them sweatdropping in shock. This was the fearsome terror their village had lived in fear of for the last sixteen years?

 

 

 

Kakashi opened the door of his apartment and started to step inside, only to halt in horror when he realized his place was completely empty. There could be only one explanation for this.

"Damn it, Gai."

He did a quick walk through--which didn't take long, considering his apartment was basically a hole in the wall where he slept--but the place had been thoroughly emptied and cleaned. He exited again and found his feet taking him in a direction he had firmly avoided since he was a small child--ever since he'd finally had enough rank and earnings to maintain his own apartment. He'd been eager to put his childhood home behind him. Every time he stepped inside, all he'd been able to see was his father's dead body and the pool of blood that had all but filled the floor around him. His father, in spite of how their time together had ended, had been a big supporter of family bonds. He'd been disappointed to find out he'd more or less avoided his surprise brother and sister whenever he could, and hadn't made the family clan compound available to them even though he still owned the deed to the place and had the keys. Well, Gai had the keys.

Shin or Megumi must have taken their father up on the offer of the compound, and Gai being Gai had moved him in as well without so much as a by-your-leave in an effort to get him to bond with his siblings. He'd been quietly disapproving ever since he'd learned of their existence, but unlike Tenzo he'd understood that Kakashi had no earthly idea what to do with them. His overwhelming fear that they would die horribly if they stayed around him too long had made him unable to deal with even being in the same room with either of them for too long without feeling like the walls were closing in.

Kakashi's issues had issues. He'd been aware of this, and had honestly thought they'd probably both be better off without him. From what he'd seen of them both, he'd been right. Tenzo and Anko had stepped in for his sister, and the Uchihas had stepped in for Shin. They were healthy, quite skilled for their age, and doing well.

He had regretted fleeing into the night, so to speak, upon being told about them, had wondered what having siblings would be like--it had been something he'd wanted once. His had been a rather lonely childhood. All the regrets in the world didn't change the fact that he had been incapable of dealing with either of them at the time.

His steps slowed as he approached the Hatake lands. He had paid a genin team to maintain the grounds twice a year since he'd stopped living there, and once every other year to check through the buildings and patch up any damage that had accumulated, but neither had been any time recently. Even so, the grounds looked like they'd been recently groomed. He could hear and smell several people as he got closer. Taking a deep breath to steel himself for whatever sort of reception was waiting, he stepped in the front door.

"I'm home." he called out, before removing his shoes and stepping further inside.

Megumi appeared from the direction of the kitchen. He could smell food cooking. She stared at him with little expression for a long moment, then unbent enough to say "Welcome home."

"Baby steps" he reminded himself. "Someone seems to have cleared out my apartment."

"Gai-san and his team. They and the Uzumaki clan were a great help in getting this place liveable."

_"Note to self. Give Naruto a spanking later. He knows I don't like surprises."_ Kakashi thought to himself ruefully. "Aa. That was nice of them." was all he said out loud.

"You're in the master bedroom." she gestured over her shoulder.

"One of you didn't take it?" he said in surprise.

"You're the eldest." Megumi shrugged. "Lunch will be ready in a bit."

"Eggplant? My favorite." Kakashi nodded.

Megumi blinked once, slowly, and her hands fidgeted with the end of her shirt. "It's my favorite too." she said quietly before leaving.

 

 

Kakashi turned his head slightly to face Anko, who had crept up while he and Megumi were talking, but stayed quiet and out of sight.

"Keep behaving yourself and I won't have to brutally murder you. Fair warning." Anko said cheerfully while idly cleaning her nails with a kunai.

"Are you living here too?" Kakashi asked warily.

"I considered it. Your dad said I could. Nice guy, by the way. I decided to keep my own place."

"I thought you moved in with Tenzo?"

Anko rolled her eyes. "NO. I just stopped by a lot to see the kid. Tenzo's a stick in the mud, and I wouldn't have been able to bring by _company_ when I felt like it, so there was no way I was moving in. The way he always complained you'd have thought I did though. He's like an old, old man already. It's sad." she scoffed. "The old man, however, _is_ moved in."

"I think it's normally the done thing to ask before just cleaning out someone's apartment." Kakashi sighed.

"He was talking about finding a bigger place anyway. That little hole in the wall he had was barely big enough to hold him and the kid. They were already making plans to move, so she just went ahead and did it when the opportunity arose." Anko assured him.

"How does Megumi feel about dogs?"

"She likes them--though whether that was natural or she made herself learn to I'm not sure."

When Kakashi looked at her questioningly she grinned.

"I caught her making eyes at the Inuzuka kid a few times."

"Kiba?" Kakashi said with despair.

"What? He's a cutie."

"He's loud. I get enough of that just having Naruto on my team."

Anko snickered and looked completely unsympathetic.

"You're an old man too, Hatake. You need to loosen up. I could help with that, if you like." she said suggestively, stretching so her coat fell open a bit to reveal the mesh body suit and very small skirt that she wore underneath-- that was _all_ she wore underneath.

Kakashi took a moment to appreciate the view.

"I'm pretty sure you'd eat me alive." he said wryly.

"Smarter than you look…but what a way to go, eh?"

 

Kakashi summoned his dog pack, all eight of them. Pakkun, who he'd had the longest, was the only one to recognize where they were, looked around in surprise, then eyed Kakashi worriedly.

"Boss?"

"Looks like we all have room to spread out. You should all go introduce yourself to…my little sister. She's in the kitchen. Try not to overwhelm her." He called out as the excited dogs all turned and scrambled for the kitchen, wearing big doggy smiles with their tongues hanging out.

 

 

 

Hashirama smiled contentedly. The village had grown beyond his and Madara's wildest dreams when they were children. His beloved granddaughter was playfully arguing with Asuma, son of his brother's student.

Asuma's soon to be wife, Kurenai--great-granddaughter of his lovely cousin Touka--was chatting with Shizune, his granddaughter's first apprentice, niece of her deceased fiancé, that nice fellow Dan he'd met in Whirlpool. They were discussing her impending motherhood. Little Saru was going to be a grandfather for the second time it seemed.

His brother was chatting with Jiraiya, a cousin of theirs through their Hatake mother; her sister's great-grandson.

Out in the field three of his brother's six students--only two of which were still alive--were sparring with their grandchildren who were on a team together. Konohamaru, who was Sarutobi's grandson, Moegi, who was the granddaughter of two of Tobi's students Koharu and Torifu, who was now deceased, and Udon, grandson of Homura. Young Shisui, grandson of another of Tobi's students, Kagami Uchiha, was shouting encouragement to the three children. He seemed to have become the mentor-slash-honorary big brother of every child younger than him in the whole village.

Tobi's final student, Danzo Shimura, had left no descendants. He'd been too busy kidnapping and brainwashing orphans and growing science babies in a lab to form into his own private army. It was probably just as well--that would have been quite a burden for any descendants to live under once it all came out.

 

It was so strange seeing people he remembered as small children so wrinkled and wizened with age, but it made him smile at the same time. Yes, time had moved on without him, without all of them…but a scene like this was only a pipe dream in his youth. People of different clans gathered in peace, working together. So many living to an age that in his own day was unheard of, and still being around to pass on their knowledge and skills to the next generation. This, this was what he'd dreamed of, and worked towards. This was everything he'd wanted. It made all the struggles, the heartaches and sacrifices worth it. He was happy.

"Oh dear. Sorry, everyone. It looks like this is the end for me."

"Grandfather!" Tsunade choked.

Hashirama smiled at her gently, then glanced at his brother, who looked stricken.

"Sorry, brother. I'll see you soon on the other side."

Hashirama glowed, and his zombie body crumbled to ash as he disappeared in a flash of golden light. Those left behind all traded alarmed looks with one another and then turned to Tobirama to see if he was going to explode into light as well.

"Not just yet. I haven't put up a list of my jutsus on the Hokage tower and judged everyone harshly for claiming my work yet."

"Sensei." Sarutobi, Homura and Koharu groaned. Shisui threw back his head and laughed.

The three children traded a glance and tried to surprise their various grandparents while they were distracted. They were knocked back easily, though the old folks all grinned at them.

"Good, you're thinking like proper shinobi!" Koharu praised. The spar resumed.

 

 

Madara glanced idly around the Uchiha district and felt a small smile creasing his lips. After all those decades he was locked away in that damned cave, with that thing stirring up his fears that his clan was going to be annihilated by the Senju, stirring up his resentment and bitterness over the state of the world… It was a tremendous relief to see proof that it was all just smoke and mirrors.

The clan was thriving. At least a third of them were old--grandparents, and in one case great-grandparents. There were children running in the streets--happy, carefree children with chubby cheeks who'd never seen a battlefield. There were a couple of babies, and more on the way. His own grandchild, Itachi, and his wife Izumi were among those expecting, and they had a small daughter already.

He and Obito had both been welcomed with great fanfare. He'd talked to most of them at least for a few minutes, gotten the grand tour of the whole district.

Bar all that unpleasantness with that creep Danzo a few years back, Konoha had been a good place for his clan. They'd been happy here. That knowledge removed a weight he'd been carrying for far, far too long. He felt almost lightheaded from the relief of finally setting that burden down.

It was edging towards dusk. Obito was still catching up with the clan. No doubt the crowd would be thinning out soon as everyone began heading home for dinner. He sort of missed eating, but the body he was in didn't need it, and probably couldn't taste it even if he tried.

He must have been sitting too still. One of the many cats that roamed the district climbed on to his lap and curled up for a nap, only to startle when he shifted his weight. He scratched lightly behind its ears and began petting it. It settled down, purring.

A stir at the edges of the crowd caught his notice and he turned to look, only to see Tobirama weaving through the crowd with young Shisui at his side. Shisui abandoned him to join his cousins, but Tobirama continued on, looking like he was searching for someone. When their eyes met he slightly altered his course to head his way. Tobirama settled beside him on the covered walkway in front of the clan head's house, and then smiled slightly at the cat before scratching it lightly behind the ears.

"Where's your brother and Saru?" Madara wondered.

Tobirama sighed. "They moved on."

Madara's hand froze on the cat's back for a moment before resuming its motion. "Not even a goodbye?"

"In my brother's case, it seemed to have been an accident."

"How the hell do you move on to the afterlife by accident?"

"It's Hashirama." Tobirama said with an aura of long suffering.

Madara found himself snorting in amusement in spite of himself. "That does sound like something that idiot would do." he agreed, voice wry. "And Saru?"

"He sparred with his grandson, welcomed his future daughter in law and got the good news that she and his son are expecting. He told them and his remaining teammates goodbye and then said he was going to leave, before some unexpected tragedy that would leave him stuck in the Hokage's seat again transpired."

"Why do I get the feeling I actually dodged a terrible fate when Hashirama was elected…not that my eventual fate was _good_ exactly…"

"Because you did. The paperwork aged me far more than a lifetime at war ever did. I died when I did as much because I was tired of living as to get out of going back to the paperwork." Tobirama admitted.

"That bad, huh?" Madara mused. "Make sure you tell Obito that. He wanted to be Hokage when he was younger and to marry his teammate Rin. Both his dreams are now out of his reach. If you let him know he may have actually lucked out by reappearing after his 'itty bitty' cousin got the hat it may help him settle back in better."

"Aa. I'll be sure to do that. Saru's abrupt exit will probably help a great deal in that respect."

Madara laughed. "I dare say it will." he agreed, snickering.

 

Unbeknownst to the two of them, Inabi the gate guard had spread the news far and wide through the clan that their honored ancestor, the fearsome Madara Uchiha, had long harbored a secret passion for the Second Hokage.

His news had been greeted with skepticism. It was long established that Madara-sama and the Second had quite despised each other in life, and if he'd been harboring a secret…or not-so-secret really--passion for anyone, it was the _First_ Hokage. It was an open secret back in the day that the First's wife, the honorable Mito-sama, and Madara could barely stand to be in the same room together. They'd fought regularly over his time and attention and had each bitterly resented the other's place in his life. And yet…here was Madara-sama and the Second Hokage, hanging out in the Uchiha district looking perfectly comfortable, petting a cat and laughing together.

"You see?" Inabi hissed "I wasn't lying or mistaken! Madara-sama did harbor a secret passion for him!"

"It doesn't look entirely one-sided, does it?" Shisui mused. "How scandalous."

"Oh my kami, could you all not!" Obito hissed, covering Hinako's--Itachi and Izumi's daughter's--ears. "He's our really old, really dead grandpa! I don't want to think about his sex life. I already know too much about it!"

"Oh? Do tell." Izumi said excitedly.

Obito glanced around and saw all eyes on him.

"By order of the Hokage." Itachi added cheekily.

"Are you talking about that Uzumaki guy?" Sasuke asked. "I already know about that."

"An Uzumaki guy, hmm? Must run in the family…" Itachi said idly.

He was already dodging and cackling when Sasuke made an enraged screech like a dying pterodactyl and tried to leap on him.

"Huh. I thought he liked Sakura." Obito noted.

"I think he's hormonal and likes everything." Shisui offered.

"Geez, when I was his age… Of course, I was being possessed and had half my body replaced with plant goo, so I'm probably not typical…" Obito trailed off.

He, Inabi, Shisui, Izumi, and Sai all watched idly as an elderly auntie chased Sasuke and Itachi out, swatting them both with a broom.

"Take your damned youthful hijinks outside, you brats!"

"I'm pretty sure she's not allowed to talk to the Hokage like that." Obito said idly.

"Try telling her that." Sai snorted.

"Yeah… I'll pass." Obito laughed nervously when she glared at all of them before going back to the kitchen of the little café they were all in.

 

 

"What are…"

"Shhh!"

"What are you doing?" Fugaku repeated, much more quietly.

Mikoto pointed out the window. Fugaku leaned in and could just see Madara-sama and the Second sitting together out front. They looked rather cozy.

"Do you think Danzo hated us all so much because he had a crush on his sensei when he was a boy, but knew he in turn was carrying a torch for a man widely believed to be an enemy of the village?" Mikoto wondered.

"What?!" Fugaku groaned. "You've been reading trashy romance novels again, haven't you?"

"No!" Mikoto huffed. "I’m looking at what's right in front of me and fitting it in with other known facts to get a look at the bigger picture."

She looked back at the two men speculatively.

"It's all really tragic, when you think about it. Warring clans that make peace. Two best friends, and his younger brother. A forbidden passion…but then an eldritch abomination from the dawn of time drives one of them mad and he flees into the night only to return as an enemy. A destroyed friendship…a broken heart." she sighed, clasping her hands together. "Poor grandfather. Poor Lord Second. To think, all these years later, they have a second chance to rekindle their lost love!"

"I'm never going to be able to look up at the Hokage mountain again without thinking about this conversation." Fugaku groaned.

"Shhh!" Mikoto warned again.

 

 

"We've been invited to a party tomorrow at the Uchiha place." Shin announced towards the end of lunch. "Sai told me earlier. They're celebrating Obito returning, the presence of their honored ancestor, and also that one of their own became a bodhisattva."

Kakashi sighed. "What?!"

"Well he did, right? Transcended death, saved his brother from an eldritch abomination, led a bunch of demons into being enlightened. That's what I heard." Shin defended himself. "They're talking about dedicating a new section of their shrine to him. They said if you don't properly honor beneficent kami they might turn against you. They're really superstitious. Though considering a celestial maiden tried to eat the world, they might have a point."

"Sounds legit." Megumi nodded.

Kakashi just rolled his eyes. "If they want to waste their money building a shrine to a skinny civilian kid with glasses, I suppose that's their prerogative."

"Seems a little harsh." Tenzo commented. "And he doesn't need his glasses anymore. He hasn't been wearing them since we all opened the seventh gate. Karin Uzumaki hasn't needed hers since either. She completed the training as well from notes that were left with her and the others before we left, and tips from Naruto's clones. She completed the strength of a hundred seal and healed her scars as well." he added.

"Are you sure you're not just mad no one's building a shrine to you even though you're supposedly enlightened and all now too?" Anko wondered.

"NO." Kakashi insisted. "Those people have never claimed to be bodhisattvas, or kami, or anything of the sort. In fact, I have a feeling they'd laugh at anyone who suggested otherwise. Three of them are still in school. They just happen to have a useful skill set, and the luck to be descended from the same folks the so-called 'celestial maiden' is from, they just ran for it when they all started becoming cannibals and planting evil trees."

"Jealous." Anko decided, sticking her tongue out. Kakashi gave her a flat glare in return.

"We were actually invited to a party at the Uzumaki place as well. Naruto invited us while you were in the shower. I guess we could stop by both places. Don't want to be rude. I've never been invited to a party before, let alone two on the same day. Do I have to dress up? I don't have anything like that." Megumi spoke up.

Kakashi glanced at the girl and debated a bit. Part of him wanted to leave the past untouched…but a part of him thought it seemed a terrible waste…and he had little doubt how his father would feel about him not mentioning the storeroom.

"You about done?" he asked. Megumi glanced at him questioningly and nodded. "Follow me. I'm not sure what condition any of it is in. It's been a while since I've actually looked at any of it."

 

The whole group ended up following him into the master bedroom, where he nudged aside one of the ceiling tiles and used a long hook that was on the shelf in the closet to pull down the hidden trap door above it. An old, rickety wooden ladder descended. Kakashi made a chakra light and began climbing, testing the ladder for weak spots as he climbed. There was still enough light that the small windows on either side of the room illuminated the place enough to see, though his chakra light helped immensely.

"Guh. I see no one's dusted up here since you left this place behind." Anko groaned, waving the swirling dust away from her face.

"Yeah. We should probably do that first. I don't want to open any of the boxes until we do." Kakashi decided.

As it was just dust for the most part, clean up was unpleasant but quickly done.

"Alright, you're killing me here. Let's see!" Anko said, rubbing her hands together.

"See here?" he pointed towards one edge of the nearest box. They're marked by season, and male or female. They go from informal to formal. The big box in the back is a wedding kimono that's been in the family for several generations at least. Accessories are on that side. It's summer, and a friendly party isn't too formal…so we'll start here." Kakashi decided, pulling one of the boxes out and setting it down gently on the floor. He very carefully undid the wrappings inside and revealed a kimono.

Anko squealed in excitement. "Oh, little sis, we are so doing a formal tea ceremony, now that I know you have access to all this."

Megumi just nodded and reached out tentatively to touch the material.

"I have to admit I'm surprised to see a stash like this." Anko continued.

"The clan was never as numerous as say the Uchiha, or the Hyuga, but there did used to be a lot more of us. These are all old, carefully packed away for years at a time until someone had need of them. I think the last woman to use the wedding kimono was my great-grandmother--she was the last female born to the Hatake before Megumi here. My mother married in, as did my grandmother." Kakashi explained. "We're shinobi. This stuff doesn't get used much in the general scheme of things, but there are times it does, and so it was carefully put away and saved for when it was needed so no one had to put out money on fripperies if they didn't have to."

"Well, let's get digging. Ah, Megumi-chan! We are going to have so much fun."

Megumi shuddered slightly at the manic look in Anko's eyes and wondered if she should have just kept her mouth shut.

 

 

"It's really quiet with all the other jinchuuriki gone." Naruto complained as he set aside a newly made rice ball.

"They had to return to their villages, let everyone know they'd succeeded, and that the threat was over. We all had a nice vacation in Whirlpool, now it's over." Harry said absently as he stirred the toxic-looking orange sludge he was making.

"What is that anyway?"

"Chicken Tikka Masala. I know what it looks like, but trust me, it's very tasty, though spicy. I made two pots of it, one with my own spices, the other with the spices we gathered while we were in Whirlpool that seemed like close equivalents. When the samples you brought back are ready to be harvested you can make it again yourself if you want. I wrote up a recipe for you."

"Uh, okay. Thanks, I guess."

"How're you doing with those?"

"Just finished."

"Sushi's done as well." Karin noted.

Luna came and looked over their finished dishes, nodded and put a preservation spell on each. They were then put with all the rest of the food they'd been making all afternoon on the large shelving unit that had suddenly appeared in their kitchen for this very purpose.

"Wow. We really made a lot of food." Yoko noted.

She, Arashi and Asahi were following a Harry clone from the log cabin's kitchen where'd they'd been making food as well. Neville pointed them towards the empty shelves to lay their contribution to tomorrow's party. Looking over everything, it looked like there should be something for everyone to enjoy. Harry, Neville and Luna had made a few dishes from their world, and they'd made a few traditional Whirlpool recipes from one of the scrolls Naruto had gotten from the archive, as well as a bunch of foods native to Fire Country as a whole and Konoha in particular.

A Neville clone, a Luna clone and four Naruto clones came in from outside. The clones popped one after another.

"Oh my gosh, you guys should see the yard! It looks amazing!" Naruto gushed. "Nebiru has some stuff that works like mokuton! It just makes stuff grow like BAM!"

"It doesn't create life, it just speeds up the natural growth processes. Don't use any of the stuff out there for medicine, poison or food until next growing season. It takes a while for the stuff to work its way out of the plants it's used on and can have unexpected side effects." Neville warned, meeting the eyes of each of the Uzumakis in turn.

"What's the point of growing it all so fast if you can't use any of it?" Karin wondered.

"To fill in the place, like we did. It's cheaper to buy seeds to start a garden, but if you want it to look nice right away, you can quick grow everything to fill in the space. Or, if you have something with a really long growth cycle before it sprouts fruit, you can speed through and then wait a single season for fruit instead of years." Neville explained.

"I guess that makes sense." Asahi decided.

"The place does look nice. We saw it as we were heading over from the log cabin." Arashi offered.

"Hello?"

"In here, uncle Tobi!" Naruto bellowed back.

A few minutes later Tobirama and Madara appeared in the doorway.

"Where's grandpa and old man Hokage?" Naruto wondered.

"They passed on. For my brother it seems to have been an accident. Saru was worried about getting stuck as Hokage again if he stuck around too long."

"Oh." Naruto said sadly.

"Where's your father, Fishcake? And Nagato and Konan, for that matter. Did they leave too?" Madara wondered.

"Nagato and Konan are off talking to Hokage-niichan. My dad's out saying hi to people he knows. I have a feeling he's not going to stick around too much longer either. I think he feels weird being back here when he's dead."

"It is a bit awkward." Tobirama agreed.

"Think how I feel. Those idiot students of yours looked like they were going to drop dead on the spot when we passed them." Madara griped.

"Mm. That's a lot of food." Tobirama replied, changing the subject.

"We're having a party tomorrow." Karin agreed.

"The Uchiha clan is having a party tomorrow too." Madara cautioned.

"Oh, we know. If you go behind the mountain it actually comes out in the Uchiha district. Old Konoha is in between, but we made it into a party place so we can have our parties at the same time and no one has to choose one or the other." Naruto assured him.

"You made Old Konoha into a…party place? What does that even mean?" Tobirama asked.

"Oh, well, here, I'll show you." Naruto offered. He grabbed both their wrists and was gone in a flash of light.

"I hate when he does that." Karin grumbled.

 

Madara and Tobirama both looked around in shock. The temporary housing that their two clans had lived in when they'd first joined forces while the actual village was being laid out and built had simply been abandoned bit by bit and then left back here. It was all gone now, replaced by dozens of tables surrounding a clear, flat stone floor in the center. There was a slightly raised platform off to one side.

"Where'd all this come from?"

"Oh, Hari, Tomu, Nebiru and Runa-chan just broke down the abandoned houses back here and then re-used the stuff to make all this. Isn't it great? There's places to lay out food and drinks for everyone to get." he pointed to the long tables on either side. "Places for people to sit and eat." he pointed to the smaller tables that surrounded the stone floor. "A place to dance. I told him we don’t do a lot of that, but they put it in anyway. And a place for a band" he pointed to the stage. "Probably for dancing. They do a lot of that." Naruto mused. "Anyway, I told auntie Mikoto, and so we're both just going to combine our parties back here. Anyone that arrives to either of our compounds will just be sent back here. It should be nice."

"Did you get permission to do all this?" Tobirama asked.

"Oh sure. Hokage-niichan said it was fine. No one's lived back here since the Founding, but apparently thieves and stuff have set up in here a few times over the years, and people that snuck in to the village used this place as a hideout. He thought it was high time to get rid of the ruins and figures this is as good a use as any. The old mummy elders thought it was blasphemous or something and they were mad, but he said we could go ahead and do it."

"Blasphemous? They were just old temporary houses we threw up to live in while setting up the village proper. Honestly they should have been torn down years ago if they were still here, cluttering up the place." Madara scoffed.

Tobirama shook his head. His remaining students had grown unbending and stuck in their ways as they'd aged, placing more value on old ruins than living, breathing people. It made him sad to think on it too much, but that was the way of the world, it seemed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in the last push till the end. Just one more chapter to go, and an epilogue. Thanks for sticking with me.


	14. In Konoha we dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world has been saved, so now it's time to celebrate.

"Everything looks good." Karin said with satisfaction, watching as Yoko, Arashi and Asahi laid out the last of the platters of food.

"Is that sake?" Yoko asked, sniffing at the numerous decanters that were gently heating in hot water at the end of the table.

"We have a whole big barrel of it. Naruto promised to leave a clone to refill the flasks as they're emptied out. There are jugs of barley tea as well." Karin pointed.

"Oh good." Yoko said with relief. "After smelling it I'm in no rush to try it."

"It's an acquired taste." Karin agreed with some amusement.

"Everything looks great! All we have to do is wait for all the guests to arrive." Naruto announced happily as he strode into the tent that had been set up to hold the food. "You should see it outside. It looks so festive!"

"Where are your friends at?" Karin wondered. "They're hanging out with the Uchihas. Harry-nii used to be one and all, so Madara drug him over so he could meet the family." Naruto explained. "Uncle Tobi went too. He said he needed to talk to Obito about something. A secret that would save his life or something."

"A secret that would save his life? That doesn't sound ominous at all." Yoko said.

"Yeah, I know. I was really curious and all, but he wouldn't tell me. He just asked if I still wanted to be Hokage. When I told him sort of, except that would mean Hokage-niichan was dead, so not really, he said that I didn't need to know. He said they needed to maintain the illusion or they'd never find another sucker, Obito was just a special case."

"The illusion? What illusion?" Karin wondered.

"Got me." Naruto shrugged.

 

 

"…" Obito looked at Tobirama's grim, serious face with some disquiet. "The paperwork is really that bad? You're not just saying it to make me feel better?"

"Hiruzen passed on because he was so afraid something would happen that would end up dragging him back into the position again. I threw myself headlong into a battle I knew I wasn't going to survive so I could pass it on. You escaped a terrible fate. Don't bandy it about too much. One, you don't want your cousin to get so demoralized he tries passing the hat on to someone else, and two, it would rather ruin the mystique of the Hokage position. Your poor cousin will have a difficult time finding a successor if word spreads. Don't let him be trapped there like poor, poor Hiruzen." Tobirama said quietly.

"Gosh. Poor Itachi." Obito murmured. "Although…he doesn't actually _look_ miserable"

"He got the prize, found out it was dross, not gold. Were it you, would you want the village to pity you? To mutter 'sucker' under their breath when you passed by?" Tobirama said seriously. "He's just doing what all of us did and putting a good face on."

"Wow." Obito said in horror.

Tobirama crossed his arms and nodded, face grim. He had to stifle the urge to roll his eyes when he spotted Madara across the way giving him a cheery thumbs up when Obito wasn't looking. _"Idiot"_

 

 

"Stop fidgeting. You look lovely." Kakashi scolded.

"I'm not used to wearing stuff like this. Is it supposed to be so tight?"

"Yes, unfortunately."

"How am I supposed to fight in this?" Megumi grumbled.

"I think the idea of a party is that there won't be any fighting. If you're that concerned about it though, tell Anko to give you lessons. I know for a fact she's done a lot of assassinations while so encumbered." Kakashi chuckled.

"We about ready to go?" Shin asked as he bounced out.

"Just waiting on Anko and Tenzo."

Anko finally made her appearance. She was in a lavender kimono and dark purple obi. Her kimono had bunches of colorful summer flowers about the hem and down one sleeve, and she had more colorful flowers in her hair. She looked quite elegant and ladylike---in other words, nothing at all like she usually did.

"Well, look at all of you." she said gleefully.

Megumi was in a silvery grey kimono with a diamond pattern--the Hatake crest--done in black and dark grey. A black and silver obi finished the look. With her white hair, done up with a fall of small silver bells, she looked both elegant and somewhat otherworldly.

Kakashi and Shin were both in dark grey kimono and hakama topped with a silvery grey haori that matched Megumi's kimono. They looked like a matched set.

Tenzo arrived not long after in a pale grey kimono and hakama topped with a white haori bearing the Senju crest.

"What's this?" Anko said in surprise.

"Hashirama-sama added me to the Senju clan rolls because of the Mokuton. All the Senju that are left, who still have the name, are civilians, other than Tsunade-sama." Tenzo shrugged uncomfortably. "He knows I don't know where I came from, that I was apparently an orphan, so he adopted me, more or less."

"Well. You've been moving up in the world, haven't you, old man?" Anko said in shock. "That must have thrown the old mummy elders for a loop. They practically worship him like a god…although, now that I think of it, it certainly never seemed to help Tsunade-sama with them at all, for all that she's his granddaughter. Too bad, they're probably still going to look down on you." she told him in commiseration.

"Well, let's get going." Kakashi ordered.

"Where are we headed first?" Shin wondered.

"Uchiha. They're closer. We'll stop by the Uzumakis later." Kakashi decided.

"Fair enough. Let's go."

"How am I supposed to roof hop in this get up?" Megumi griped.

"Remember that time I tied your ankles together?" Anko asked.

"Oh. Is that why? I just thought you were being your usual sadistic self."

"That too." Anko cackled. "Remember how?"

"I think so."

 

 

"Why are we going to the Uzumaki place first? I want to see Sai-kun." Ino complained. "I look fabulous, and I want to make sure he gets a good look before I get dusty and sweaty."

"We'll go there after. Naruto's place is closer, and I'd like to see Hari and his friends before they leave. They were all out of the village this whole time. Team Gai are the only ones who got to see any of them and they didn't even know them." Shikamaru complained. "Stop being troublesome."

"Two parties means twice the chance to get some good food." Choji said cheerfully.

"Why'd you bring your shogi board anyway? We're going to a party. You're supposed to socialize and have fun, not sit off in a corner with your stupid game." Ino added pointedly.

"Hari and I promised to finish our match if he ever managed to come here in person." Shikamaru explained. "He'll be expecting it."

"He might not. It was a long time ago. He probably forgot." Ino said doubtfully.

"He didn't. Stop worrying about it." Shikamaru said with assurance. "How can you be so sure? He didn't even try to see you."

"We were out on a mission when they first arrived, and don't forget that Naruto was being hunted and the world was in danger. That took priority." Shikamaru huffed. "From the little bits Naruto's clones have been telling me, a lot was going on."

 

 

"Yoshino! Are you almost ready?" Shikaku Nara called up the stairs.

"Yes, yes. Hold your horses." Yoshino snapped as she finally appeared.

"I hope they have enough food." Chouza Akimichi grumbled as he rose to his feet.

"Don't worry, dear. I packed some snacks just in case." his wife assured him, patting a scroll tucked into her obi.

"I hope there's enough sake." Inoichi Yamanaka said in an aside to Shikaku, hoping his wife wouldn't hear.

"I have a stash if they don't." Shikaku assured him. Both men winced when their wives glared at them in exasperation.

"What? It's a party. Parties go better with sake." Inoichi said nervously.

"So…are you two curious to finally meet your son from another world in person?" Chouza wondered.

"Aa. A bit." Shikaku admitted.

"He was a good boy. Polite, did his chores when asked. Looked out for others." Yoshino asserted.

"I guess we'll see." Inoichi decided.

 

 

"Oh! I beg your pardon." Neji stuttered, rearing back and catching at Hinata's arm so she wouldn't fall. "I was hurrying and not watching where I was going."

"It was my fault as well. I was doing the same." Hinata assured him.

Her eyes caught on Neji's forehead, which was lacking its usual forehead protector and the bandages he, and all the members of the branch house, wore to hide his curse seal. The new seal was smaller and far more elegant than the previous one, which had been an ugly thing in toxic green that took up the whole forehead. The new seal, in its resting form, looked like a diamond with looped ends, that rested in the center of the forehead and looked rather decorative. Without really thinking about it, she reached up and ran her fingers lightly over his bare forehead. He in turn, ran his thumb lightly over the matching seal she now bore on her own forehead.

"It's still strange, seeing you marked like this." Neji admitted.

"It should have always been this way if the true purpose of the seal was to protect us, and our eyes, from thieves. It would be nice, I think, if the kidnapping attempts taper off once word spreads that there are no unsealed Hyugas left. We'll still have to be on guard for anyone trying to pluck them out while we're still alive, but it's better this way, I think."

They both seemed to realize how closely they were standing at the same time. Neji took a deliberate step back. Hinata blushed and turned away.

"Big sis! Big brother! I'm ready to go!" Hinata smiled as her little sister hurried into the room.

She looked very festive in her kimono, which was white with cherry blossoms decorating it, and a pink under-kimono and obi to match. She herself was in white and purple. She sighed and tucked the one stubborn strand of hair that always seemed to fall across her sister's face back in and straightened the pink and white flowers decorating her hair.

"There. That's better. We should get going. Where's father?"

"He said to just go on ahead. He and the elders will be along in a bit."

 

 

"Well…" Tobirama said with some surprise when they all headed to the 'party place'. "When they decide to have a party they really go all out, don't they?"

"Mm." Madara agreed. The bare setting of tables they had been shown the night before had been transformed. The long tables on the outer edges of the space had each been covered by long tents-- one dark blue with a Uchiha fan on the center of the roof, one greenish-blue with a white Uzumaki spiral atop it. There was an archway made of balloons on either end closest to the two clan compounds--dark blue, white and red on the Uchiha side, every color of the rainbow on the Uzumaki. Lines had been run from the Uchiha tent to the Uzumaki one, each with rows of colorful paper lanterns on them. It all looked very festive.

"Did you see all the food they carted in to fill those tents? I miss being alive." Madara lamented.

"Well, if your plans work out you'll be alive again soon enough. You can eat till you're the size of an Akimichi if you want." Tobirama said gruffly.

"What are you going to do?" Madara wondered.

"I want to see the rest of my brothers before I make any decisions."

"Two of my brothers have already been reborn--other than Izuna, I mean. Izuna told Toma that. He didn't have a chance to tell me when I saw him. He was already running out of energy."

"They were? Where? Are they among your clan?" Tobirama asked in interest.

He only knew about Madara and Izuna's other brothers because Hashirama had mentioned it once. Madara had never spoken of them--not to him at least.

"No. They decided to follow Izuna. The plan was to rescue me, so they hoped I would join them one day. You know Hari is an orphan, correct?"

Tobirama nodded.

"He has a godfather who took him in. He has two sons. Hari thinks of them both as his little brothers, never realizing that they actually were, once. I don't know what's become of the last of them. Hopefully his godfather will have at least one more child so he can join the rest of them. If not, they have cousins that might provide a chance for him to at least be close by."

"So you're saying my brothers might decide the same, especially given that Hashirama has time to sell them and Mito on the idea while I'm still here?"

"I guess you'll find out. They might all tell him no, after all. I doubt Hashirama would be willing to leave all of you behind."

Tobirama's grimace said he wasn't as certain, but wasn't willing to say it out loud.

"Remind me to yell at him again." Madara huffed.

 

A flash of light on the stage alerted them to guests incoming. A number of Uchiha, and all the Uzumakis were already there. The Uchihas were all in dark blue, black, the occasional very dark green or red. The Uzumakis looked like wildflowers in comparison--each of them with their bright red hair, and they were all in bright, vivid colors: Karin in purple with vivid tropical flowers, the twins in red, Yoko in bright green with colorful tropical fish, Nagato in blue-green, Naruto in ocean blue and dark orange-no one could talk him out of wearing orange all together, so they'd had to satisfy themselves with tweaking the shade until it didn't clash so much. A Naruto clone directed the guests down off the platform and then promptly vanished again, only for another to appear in its place with a new set of guests.

"The jinchuuriki are back…along with their kages." Madara said in surprise. "This is shaping up to be some party."

The watched as the Mizukage, accompanied by a woman with very long red hair, as well as Haku and Utakata descended the stage. They waved to the two boys, who smiled and waved back.

The Rock entourage was the next to arrive. The Tsuchikage, a very short old man, glanced around idly, spotted the two of them and blanched, then glared at Madara. Madara grinned and waved. The old man lifted off the ground and flew off in the other direction and his entourage--Kitsuchi, a young woman and a very large man exchanged glances and hurried after him.

The Kazekage arrived next--Gaara, accompanied by a young man and woman.

"His siblings, I believe. He mentioned one was a puppeteer and the other a wind user." Tobirama commented.

Cloud's group came next. The Raikage, accompanied by B and Yuugito. Aki, and what must be the headman of Waterfall arrived not long after.

The Kages all greeted Itachi and moved to one of the larger tables to sit together, along with Nagato and Konan, who were still technically the leaders of the Rain village. The jinchuuriki moved to join Naruto and a group of young Leaf ninjas at another table. Gaara wistfully watched them go before settling down at the table with the other Kages.

 

Up on the stage more guests were still arriving. "Hatakes, two Senju and a Shirohebi." Tobirama noted, checking their chakra for clan affiliation.

"Hmm, yes, she's got the eye markings. I didn't think there were any of them left. Too young to have married in to the Hatake. Her mother must have been one. Hyugas." Madara added.  That one was easy--they all had white eyes, and they'd met two of the three before. The last must be the little girl whose eyes they'd rescued. "Hmm…an Akimichi, a Yamanaka and a Nara."

"Inuzukas."

The dog clan had bucked the dress code everyone else seemed to be abiding by. Tsume, the matriarch was in a dark red uwagi and black hakama. Her daughter and heir was in a short, sleeveless battle kimono with shorts underneath. The son was in a short kimono top and pants.

"All the rest of the moms are all dressed up pretty." the heard the son mutter as they climbed off the stage.

His sister snorted and smacked him lightly in the back of the head, while the mother scoffed.

"I can't be bothered to be an idiot and hobble myself like that, even if it's the 'done thing'. Take me as I am or not at all, that's my motto."

"Well, that clan hasn't changed much over the years." Madara snorted once they'd passed out of ear shot.

"Hmm, two more Akimichis, a Yamanaka and a civilian, and a Nara and a Senju." Tobirama decided. "Ah, Sarutobi, Sarutobi, Senju."

"Saru's son and grandson and Toka Senju's descendant?" Madara guessed.

"Mm. Kurenai Yuuhi. She's a genjutsu specialist like Toka was, though she doesn't seem to wield a naginata like she did."

"Pity." Madara grunted.

"Senju." Tobirama repeated. Two women had appeared, one a very busty blonde with her hair in long pigtails down her back, with a diamond seal on her forehead.

"Tsunade?" Madara guessed.

"Tsunade." Tobirama agreed.

She had opted out of a restrictive kimono and was wearing a form-fitting high collared short sleeved dress slit to the hip on each side with pants underneath. Her companion had opted for the more traditional kimono--furisode no less.

"She's a bit old to still be unmarried, isn't she? A lot of the women in furisode are."

"They're not pushed to marry and have children in their teens like we were back in the day. More peaceful times mean they can wait longer…and more of them tend to survive childbirth because of it." Tobirama grunted.

Madara kept quiet. From what he'd been told, his grandson Itachi and his wife had wed when they were eighteen, right after Itachi became Hokage. They already had one child and another on the way.

"Hmm. I wonder what's going on over there?" Tobirama wondered.

A small crowd had gathered around one of the tables. Madara, curious as a cat, immediately started over there. Hari and a Nara boy seemed to be at the center of it.

"Shogi. He mentioned there was an unfinished game he wanted to complete before he had to leave. That must be the boy he was possessing." Tobirama realized.

"Yes, Shikamaru. I recognize him." Madara agreed.

Most of the kids ended up drifting off soon after, leaving the older Ino-Shika-Cho trio, the Sarutobi and the two of them to watch. The boys finished setting up the board and then moved several of the pieces to new positions. They apparently planned to actually just pick up their game from years ago where it left off.

"I believe it was your move." Hari offered once they were done.

Shikamaru nodded and moved a piece immediately. Harry looked over the board and moved a piece as well. Shikamaru studied the board in silence for a few minutes and made another move. Harry made a move. Shikamaru frowned, made a circle with his hands and rested his face against them while thinking. Several minutes passed in silence. Madara sighed very quietly and decided to find someone new to talk to since Tobirama was gone for the length of the game it seemed. He didn't have the patience to watch other people play--if he was playing, it was different.

There was Obito. He and Kakashi seemed to be talking. Awkwardly, but they were talking. Best not interrupt.

There was Naruto, gesticulating wildly while telling the story of their recent adventures to a small group of kids his age, with the other jinchuuriki and his teammates chiming in now and then.

" _Looks like a love triangle. Hyuga maiden blushes demurely whenever Naruto glances at her, Hyuga boy looks glum, glares a bit at Naruto. Ah, Inuzuka boy glares at them both, looks wistfully at Hyuga maiden, Hyuga boy glares at him too, moves to stand closer to Hyuga maiden. Naruto…oblivious to all of it, smiles like a goof at Pinky, as does odd boy with, wow, very large eyebrows. Pinky ignores both to simper at my grandson…who ignores her to stare intently at Naruto. Oh! The plot thickens! Young lady with buns like Mito used to wear, staring at boy with large eyebrows, who is oblivious and continues to pine over Pinky and look determined to win her at all costs! Hatake-Shirohebi maiden stares wistfully at Inuzuka boy, glares sullenly at Hyuga maiden… Wait, how many sides is that? We passed triangle long ago. "_ Madara thought to himself in amusement.

"Hello, children. Anything interesting going on over here?" he asked, sauntering over to join them.

"Grandfather." Sasuke nodded.

"Madara-sama! I have so many questions for you about the founding era!" the young woman with the buns said eagerly.

"Your hair…"

"Modeled off Mito Uzumaki. No seal tags, obviously. I can't take the chance of one of them blowing in my eyes while I'm raining shiny steel death down on my enemies. She and Tsunade-sama are my role models. There weren't many famous kunoichi. I'm TenTen by the way."

"You left out Toka Senju." Madara noted, the woman close to recall due to her great-granddaughter's presence. "Sadly my own clan didn't have many famous kunoichi. The ones that did go out on the battlefields dressed like men, and so it wasn't widely known they were in fact women, and so that didn't carry down to the present time. Most of the women stayed to guard the compound and the children while the rest of us were off. Doujutsu thieves liked to wait until we left to strike, thinking the women and children would provide an easy target. They usually regretted it bitterly. My mother once gutted three men, and set them on fire to rescue a young cousin of mine when she was cornered by a group of such people." Madara said with fond reminiscence. "Your mother reminds me of her quite a bit." he added to Sasuke, who looked like he wasn't sure whether to be proud or disturbed.

"Who was, Toka Senju was it? Who was she?" TenTen asked eagerly.

"Do any of you know Kurenai Yuuhi?" Madara asked.

The Hyuga maiden, Inuzuka boy and another--Aburame judging by how he was dressed--all straightened and nodded.

"She's our sensei." the Inuzuka supplied.

"She's her descendant. She had the same eyes, dark hair as well though hers was very straight. She was a genjutsu specialist who wielded a naginata. She was widely regarded as the third strongest in the clan after Hashirama and Tobirama. The Uchiha clan regarded her as nearly our equal in genjutsu, and she was quite handy with her blade as well. I heard more than one of my clansmen lament that she was an enemy. I think she was probably the number one enemy crush in those days." he laughed.

TenTen all but swooned and looked around for Kurenai to see if she could find out more about her kick-ass grandma.

_"Not the tails…ugh, not the ears either."_

Madara caught the quiet grumbling from beneath the table and squatted down to see the fearsome Kyuubi no Yoko cowering in fear from a grabby toddler.

"Hinako-chan, leave Kurama alone." he snorted.

Kurama scrambled out from under the table and used Madara as a springboard to leap onto Naruto's head. Hinako, now missing her playmate, crawled out as well. Her face and hands were sticky, and she glowered at Madara for making the 'cute kitty' go away. She looked like an angry kitten. It was adorable.

"Ganpa up." she demanded.

Madara eyed the sticky child and looked around hopefully. "Does anyone have a hair tie by chance? I'm stuck like this until I move on. I don't really want my hair in clumps and attracting ants."

Eyebrows kid had a length of rolled bandage on him. _"Better than nothing, I suppose."_

He made quick work of pulling his hair back and tied it up before stooping to retrieve Hanako, who spotted kyuubi perched on Naruto's head and clapped happily before trying to lunge to reach him.

"Wan' kitty!"

"I'm a fox!" Kurama wailed.

Madara snickered and bounced the little girl to distract her.

"How about we go for a walk and try to find a nice girl for uncle Obito? That sounds like fun, doesn't it?"

"Dango?"

"If you help out, sure."

"Kay."

"Good girl. Oh, she looks promising. Be cute, alright?"

"am lots cute."

"Yes, you are. Keep doing that."

"Kay."

The teens watched Madara and Hinako wander off.

"Should one of us warn Obito your grandfather is playing matchmaker?" Sakura wondered.

"Nah." Sasuke said indifferently.

 

 

"Dango!"

"That's hers, Hinako. We'll get you your own."

"I can get more. Pull up a seat. It's not every day I get to meet an infamous warlord from the warring clans era."

Anko gave Hinako one of her sticks of dango. Madara took it off her and removed one of the dumplings and gave her that instead.

"No sharp sticks for you. You're already lethal."

"Yum."

"Cute kid. She's Itachi's right?"

"Yes, Hinako."

"So, enjoying the party?"

"As much as I can when I can't eat or drink."

"Wow. That sucks. Why are you still hanging around if that's the case?"

"I'm going to stick around until my little brother leaves. Tobirama's still around because he hasn't yet gotten judgmental on the populace for forgetting who originally created many of the jutsus that made other shinobi famous."

Anko snorted in amusement. "I haven't seen the Fourth. I'd heard he was running around."

"He was. He said hello to the people he knew, wandered around the village to see how it changed, had a heart to heart with his students, said goodbye to his son and passed on. It's awkward enough lurking around when you're long dead like I am. I imagine it was much worse for him."

"No doubt."

"I saw you arrive with the Hatakes and the mokuton fellow. Dating one of them? Engaged?"

"Me? Nah. Single girl here. Megumi Hatake is my apprentice."

"The Shirohebi girl?"

"Yeah her. You're familiar with that clan?"

"Vaguely. They were never very numerous. Her mother?"

Anko snorted. "Yeah…sort of. She was one of Danzo's science babies. Have you heard of Orochimaru?"

"The creepy snake boy that was running around was his apprentice. Mad scientist or something?"

"Yeah, you could say that. He was my sensei before he defected. I'm an orphan. He was like a father to me once. He betrayed me. I've sometimes gotten looked down on because of him. I knew she was likely to have it as hard or harder, so I decided to look out for her. She's a good kid."

"Admirable. I don't understand though… If this Orochimaru was her father why is she part of the Hatake clan?"

Anko grinned. "She has two fathers. Sakumo Hatake and Orochimaru."

"They can do that now? Huh. Would have made my life a lot easier. I had to knock up a lesbian to get the elders to leave me alone."

Anko cackled.

"Ganpa, need more yum." Hinako interjected.

"Ah. Well then, more yum you shall have." Madara said graciously, removing another dumpling from the skewer. "Shirohebi… does you student have the snake contract?"

"We both do."

"Ah, even better. My brother's boyfriend's pet snake met a summons and decided to go with him to the sage lands to study. She hasn't returned yet. They have a set date they need to leave. Would you be able to inquire as to her fate?"

"His pet just ran off?"

"Yes. She apparently wants to be a dragon. My brother's owl disappeared not long after. He hasn't said much about it, but I know he's worried. Do you know if there are owl summons? Apparently Heduwigu, the owl and Nagini, the snake, are very competitive. Hari assumed she ran off to find someone to study with as well so her rival wouldn't best her."

"I don't know of any owl summons, but hey, I can ask the snakes, they might know. Hang on."

Tom, who was a short distance away, saw a snake appear and wandered closer.

"A snake summons? Can you…?"

"Already on it." Madara assured him.

"Need more yum." Hinako said, patting his chest.

Tom squatted down to see the snake while Madara was feeding the child and began hissing.

_"Hello. Aren't you lovely? Do you know a snake named Nagini by chance? She went to your lands a short time ago with one of you to study."_

_"Yes. She said there were humans that spoke proper language, but none of us really believed her…and yet here you are."_

_"Here I am."_ Tom agreed. _"Is she doing alright? How is her training going?"_

_"It's going very well. The snake queen thinks she'll be ready in a few more days."_

_"Oh? That is good news. I have more one question. Do you know if there's an owl summon clan?"_

_"There are. We don't get on with them, so we don't venture into their territory, but we know of them."_

_"Oh. I was hoping you could tell me if a white owl named Hedwig was with them. My mate hasn't said much, but I know he's been worried about her."_

_"You could ask the slugs. They could probably find out."_

_"Slugs?"_

_"The slug princess is nearby. She could do it. We don't go there."_

_"I see. Thank you for your help."_ Tom nodded, conjuring a mouse.

The snake hissed happily and lunged, grabbing the mouse in its mouth before vanishing. When Tom stood, he saw the woman who had summoned the snake staring at him in surprise.

"Oh, sorry. I sort of co-opted your summon, didn't I?"

"You can speak snake? How do you learn that?"

"Oh…well, I didn't learn it, exactly. My ancestors, a few of them, were nagas. They're snake people. Shapeshifters. They can be fully human, fully snake, and various hybrid in-between forms. The language is intrinsic with them. They're just born knowing how to speak it. The trait passed down my line." Tom explained.

"Weren't you making fun of Jiraiya for being part toad?" Madara asked.

"Harry didn't think much of him abandoning Naruto without the excuse of being wrongfully imprisoned for murder. They decided to give him a hard time." Tom shrugged.

"Ah." Madara nodded, while Anko snorted in amusement.

"Do either of you know who the slug princess is by any chance? He said they don't go near the owl clan, but the slugs do and they could find out if Hedwig's there."

"The blonde over there with all the empty sake bottles and the big knockers with the diamond on her forehead." Anko pointed helpfully.

"Ah, thank you." Tom nodded before wandering away.

"Your brother's boyfriend?" Anko guessed.

"Mm. He seems a nice enough fellow, I suppose. He's utterly besotted with my brother, and vice versa. They've already arranged a contract with a couple of friends of theirs for heirs, so I had little choice but to give them my blessing."

"Taking his cue from big brother and planning to knock up a lesbian, huh?"

"Yes. It was very handy that they had such a couple nearby who were so amenable to the idea." Madara agreed. "Speaking of which…do you know Obito?"

"I knew him vaguely a long time ago when we were kids." Anko replied.

"What do you think of him?"

"Are you matchmaking? I'm not really interested in settling down just yet." she asked suspiciously.

"Do you know anyone who is, who's willing to invest a bit of effort?" Madara wondered.

"Actually…I know the perfect girl. Tsunade's apprentice."

"Pinky? I'm pretty sure she's stuck on my other grandson."

"No, the first one. Shizune. She got drunk the other night and was crying to my buddy Kurenai that she didn't want to be an old maid like her master, but traveling with her for all those years outside the village meant she never had a chance to find anyone. She's hasn't had much luck here in the village, either. Most of the shinobi our age are either paired off, or they're looking for something with a bit less commitment and a lot more fun." Anko explained.

"Oh? Sounds promising. Tell me a bit about her."

"Tell you what, let's go meet her and we can find out if your brother's owl ran off to train as a sage at the same time." Anko decided, gathering up her remaining dango. "Plus, Tsunade's probably got extra sake. I could use a drink."

"Lead the way."

"Any news?" Anko asked curiously.

A slug the size of a rabbit was in the process of disappearing as they approached.

"Hedwig's training to become a phoenix." Tom said bemusedly. "What ambitious pets we have."

Tsunade and Jiraiya, who was seated with her, both snorted and poured themselves another drink.

"Where's Shizune?" Anko wondered, glancing around. She spotted her and grinned, smacking Madara on the arm. "Ha! Can I call it or what?"

Madara turned in his seat to look and saw Obito seemingly deep in conversation with a woman with short dark hair.

"That's her?"

"Yup." Anko said cheerfully. "They look like they're getting along just fine."

"Shizune, was it? What's she like?" Madara asked Tsunade.

"Loyal. Hardworking. Excellent med-nin. Fondness for poisons. Bit of a stickler for propriety"

"Always on your case about drinking and gambling, you mean." Jiraiya snorted.

"And she's looking to get married?" Madara asked.

Tsunade's slightly misty gaze focused on him. "Matchmaking, are you?"

"He's a good boy. He was trapped in a nightmare since he was just a child and it's at least partially my fault. I won't be around much longer. I want to make sure he has the makings of a few anchors to keep him rooted in the here and now. He's still mourning his teammate, Rin--he never really got a chance to before. That thing struck the moment she died, when his grief was freshest so it could get a deep hold on him. He'll recover eventually, and I'd like to know there's a future for him afterwards."

Tsunade eyed him a moment and then turned her gaze on Shizune and Obito. Obito was gesticulating as he told some story or other and Shizune was giggling into her sleeve. Tsunade's gaze softened as she looked at them.

"I bet they'll never get together." she said firmly.

Madara looked offended for a moment, but then his face grew thoughtful.

"Do you have your grandfather's luck in gambling or your grandmother's?"

Jiraiya snorted and started laughing. Tsunade looked immensely bitter as she bit out "My grandfather's"

Madara gave her a toothy grin and held out a fist towards her. "I'll take that bet." She nodded firmly and bumped fists with him.

 

A muted stir of excitement went through the crowd gathered around Harry and Shikamaru. They all glanced over and saw the observers were all very focused on the board, and the Nara boy was still in his concentration pose, his gaze darting over the remaining pieces.

"Looks like that game must be winding down. Your kid brother seems to have been acquitting himself well against the Nara kid, considering how intently the audience has been watching." Jiraiya noted.

"I would hope so. He's apparently been training for this match." Madara chuckled.

"Oh?" Tsunade asked curiously.

"He said Shikamaru is a genius--as expected of a Nara. He figured he should take advantage of his own more energetic nature to try to level the playing field."

"Ah." Jiraiya nodded. "Makes sense."

 

 

"I…lost." Shikamaru said in disbelief.

"Barely. It's kind of infuriating, really. I've been training hard for this game for years and I won by the skin of my teeth." Harry said ruefully. "You're a natural at this."

"What kind of training have you been doing?" Shikaku asked curiously.

"Well, first I tried to find out if we had this game in my world. We did. Remember I told you that there were ninjas, but it was a long time ago on the other side of the world?" Shikamaru nodded in interest. "Well my boyfriend Tom…"

Shikamaru's face went red and Shikaku choked.

"We're not the same person. There's nothing stopping you from finding a nice girl…he went to Japan, that's where the ninjas were and asked around about shogi and got me a game board and some books and stuff. We have a similar game where I'm from and there was a club at school that would play each other. I taught them shogi and it was a fad for a while, so I had people to play with. I also taught the game to my friends' uncle. He's a retired general--a famous one, actually. They call him the Dragon of the West. He taught all his old man friends, and so I was able to play with them when I'd go visit. Iroh and Master Piandao when I went to Fire Nation, Master Pakku when I went to visit my other friends in the Water Tribe--he's their grandfather now. I also taught King Kuei when we were in Earth Kingdom, and he taught his concubines. I was back there recently when to celebrate a successful trade deal between our nations. King Kuei is kind of a timid player, he mostly does it to be social--his concubines are vicious though. My friend Princess Azula, she's General Iroh's niece, I also taught to play when she was staying with me one summer. She's a tactical genius like her uncle, but as a bonus, she's also a really sore loser. She's been improving her game by leaps and bounds every time I play her. I also get a good spar out of it when she loses. Once she's worked off her fury we usually play again." he snickered "I have friends among the Air Nomads too, but Aang is a little flighty--he's all over the place, and frets about every piece he loses--he's a pacifist monk." Harry explained. "I also read books on shogi tactics, famous games, stuff like that… In fact, that reminds me. I brought you a present." he said, digging around in the pouch at his belt.

"You didn't have to." Shikamaru said, embarrassed. "I didn't get you anything."

Harry waved off his concern and withdrew a package that was far too big to have fit into the tiny pouch. "Expansion jutsu on the mouth and expanded interior." Harry explained.

"Huh." Shikamaru replied as he unwrapped the books he'd been given.

"Those two were the best of the books on shogi that I read. There's also the Art of War. It's really, really old--it's a reprint, obviously. I think the original was written on bamboo strips, and is like, two thousand years old or something. You guys probably have something similar already, but I thought you'd find it interesting. The last is a ninja manual from my world--oddly enough named "Hidden Leaves". You should keep in mind that it's all sleight of hand and perception tricks. They didn't have chakra, and everyone had base human senses--no magic eyeballs, no enhanced sense of smell or hearing. I gave one of those to Naruto too."

Shikamaru was already eagerly paging through his new books. Shikaku nudged him over and took his place at the other end of the game board. Shikamaru moved over without looking up. Shikaku grinned at Harry and began resetting the board.

"I'll be your opponent this time." Shikaku announced.

Harry eyed him a moment and smiled ruefully. "I can already tell this is going to be a lot like playing uncle Iroh. Do you dispense tea, proverbs and life advice for a young man in the springtime of his youth along with your game as well?"

"I can if you really want me to." Shikaku said with a small grin.

Harry laughed. "I'll pass, thanks. I get enough of that at home."

 

 

While they were resetting the board, Tobirama glanced around to see what everyone else was doing. He did a double-take when he spotted the bijuu forming a pyramid so Runa-chan could take a picture of them. He realized he hadn't seen Madara anywhere and made a second slow scan of the party, looking for his distinctive mop of hair. He finally spotted him several long moments later, sitting with Tsunade. He had his hair in a ponytail and was cuddling a toddler that was drinking out of a pink cup. He threw back his head and laughed at something Tsunade said and he found he couldn't quite look away.

For most of his life he'd hated him. He'd never understood what Hashirama saw in him or why he'd missed him so terribly. The last few weeks, he'd finally gotten to meet the friend his brother spent half his life mourning--and not needing to eat or sleep while those around them did meant they'd had a lot of time to get to know each other. He'd also discovered that, when he wasn't being possessed, his chakra felt like a hurricane touched by fire and lightning, rather than the cold, cloying evil he remembered.

It was somewhat overwhelming at first… but once you'd had a chance to get used to it, sitting in the midst of that storm felt like the safest place on earth. If things had worked out differently…

_"But they didn't, and it is far, far too late for regrets."_ he told himself firmly.

He made himself look away and focus back on the game. In spite of his best efforts to stay focused on the here and now, he found his mind drifting and entertaining useless daydreams of a past that never was.

 

 

"Gaara! Hokage-niichan! Uncle Nagato! Auntie Konan! Come on! We're going to dance!" Naruto announced.

"I see." Gaara nodded, rising to his feet. "Please excuse me." he told the Tsuchikage, Raikage and Mizukage. "Temari, Kankuro, come. It is time to dance."

"Myself as well." Itachi agreed.

Nagato and Konan simply nodded to everyone, and moved to join Itachi, Gaara, and his siblings, who were headed out to the floor.

"Did he say they were going to dance?" Zabuza asked the others.

"That's what it sounded like." the Raikage agreed, perplexed.

 

"Come on, o brother mine. Time to dance." Harry told Madara cheerfully. "You too, Snowman." he added to Tobirama.

"I'm not dancing." Tobirama said flatly.

"Wow. You killed me and you won't do this one simple thing for me? How cruel." Harry said, sounding aghast.

Tobirama blanched, then glared at Madara, who was now standing just behind Hari's shoulder with his arms crossed, shaking his head in dismay. Tobirama glared some more then rubbed his face tiredly.

"You know what…fine! Just…stop looking at me like that." he growled.

Harry and Madara grinned and Hari flashed a victory sign. They each grabbed one of his arms and drug him towards the dance floor.

Tsunade watched the whole exchange, her eyes widened in disbelief.

"My great-uncle…is going to…dance?" Beside her, Jiraiya, equally stunned, just nodded.

 

"What's going on, do you know?" Genma asked Shikaku.

"Apparently they're going to dance." Inoichi answered in his stead.

"Dance? _Kakashi's_ out there." Genma pointed out.

"So's my son, the laziest ninja in existence" Yoshino replied.

All of them let out a small gasp when the miniature bijuu who'd been running around all poofed and turned human--or at least human shaped--and headed out to the dance floor too to join their jinchuuriki.

Team eight, team ten, team Gai, team seven, the nine jinchuuriki AND their bijuu, the four outworlders, the Kazekage's siblings, Tenzo, the Hokage, the Second Hokage and Madara Uchiha, as well as Obito, Sai, and Shisui Uchiha, Hanabi Hyuga, Konohamaru, Moegi and Udon, Megumi and Shin Hatake, the remaining Uzumakis, and Nagato and Konan all spread out in lines across the dance floor.

The ninjas twitched when loud music began to play from somewhere. Out on the floor, those gathered began to move in synchronization.

"When did they have time to do all this?" Chouza wondered.

"While they were in Uzushio, in between saving the world." Anko answered. "Naruto's clones taught everyone that was here."

It was sort of mesmerizing, such a large group moving together, with the loud music thumping out a steady beat for them to match their rhythm to.

"SHAKE THAT THING, MEGUMI!" Anko called out.

 

Back at the Hokage's table, Mei Terumi turned to Izumi, who was cheering Itachi on along with her daughter.

"You know, I hate to say it but…Konoha has much better parties than Mist does."

"I'm gonna have to knock B out to get him to come home again." the Raikage said sounding horrified.

 

 

_**"Aw… Why'd I have to pass on so early? I wanted to dance with them."** _Hashirama complained.

_**"If you want to so badly, husband, you can just dance here."**_ Mito, his wife, sighed.

" ** _Come on, cousin. Let's show them how it's done."_ **Toka urged, dragging him to his feet.

**_"I'll dance with you too, gramps! Come on, pretty boy!"_ **Kushina cheered, yanking Minato along behind her.

**_"We'll dance with you too, brother!"_** Itama said cheerfully. Kawarama grinned and climbed to his feet as well. **_"Yeah we can't let Tobirama-niichan show us all up!"_ **

A giggling Rin pulled an equally giggly Fu-chan along with her, while she in turn drug a resigned Han, following along behind Kushina and Minato. Sarutobi grinned at his own wife, Biwako, and tugged her to join as well. Dan smiled as a grinning Nawaki tugged him along.

**_"You too, grandmother! You don't want to be left out, do you?"_ **

A whole crowd of dead Uzumaki were already dancing and whooping it up. Mito shook her head, grinning, and rose to join the rest.

 

Some distance away, Hagoromo Ootsutsuki, the honorable Sage of the Six Paths, stood with his twin brother, Homura Ootsutsuki, watching their dead descendants gyrate and cheer with a sour look on his face.

" _ **This is all your fault, Homura!"** _Hagoromo grumbled.

**_"Mm."_ **Homura agreed peaceably.

He smiled down at Izuna/Harry with a grin. His intervention had worked just as well as they'd both hoped--better, even. Hagoromo eyed Homura suspiciously when he smirked at him.

**_"What?"_** Hagoromo asked warily.

**_"I guess it just proves that, if you want something done RIGHT, you need to send in the YOUNGER brother. Elder brothers get used to being in charge, the power goes to their head and they make a mess of things. Yes. If you want to get shit done, a younger brother is the way to go."_ **Homura nodded, doing his best to look wise.

**_"Brat."_ **Hagoromo grumbled.


	15. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief peek in on the wizards five years after the events of this story.

Harry finished up the last of his work for the day and began clearing off his desk and putting everything away. He checked the time and saw it would be dinner soon. He stood and stretched, smiling slightly as his back cracked. As he was moving from behind his desk, his gaze fell on a picture on one of the shelves, and he found his feet taking him towards it without really thinking about it.

It was a drawing, made by charm, of a man with long, wild, dark hair in a dark blue robe with a wide, high collar. He picked the picture up and studied it for a moment in silence. The drawing looked back at him and smiled, his grin just a bit mischievous, as though he knew something Harry didn't. Harry smiled back, a bit sadly, before putting the picture back on its shelf and leaving the room.

It had been five years since he and his friends had gone to Naruto's world to visit. Five years since he'd said goodbye to his once older brother Madara Uchiha as well.

He'd grown quite attached to the man in the short time they'd known each other. He hadn't wanted to say goodbye, but he also didn't want Madara trapped in his unnatural form any longer either.

Madara had promised to be reborn in his world, and Harry had promised to find him…but it had been years now and there was no sign of him that he'd been able to find--and he'd looked.

Every time anyone had a baby, he tried to get close enough to feel for Madara's unique chakra. He'd taken numerous trips all over the world, just to wander around looking for him. He'd spent time meditating with all his gates open in hopes of catching some sense of his lost brother's presence, but so far there had been nothing.

"There you are, love. Are you just about ready to get going?" Tom asked when he stepped out of his office.

"Just let me freshen up a bit. I'll be right with you." Harry agreed.

A few minutes later and they were on their way to the home of Harry's godfather, Sirius Black.

Sirius and Adeline had neither of them been too keen to let Harry move out, even once he'd graduated Hogwarts. In fact, Harry had a feeling had they not had their third child on the way he'd have been living there still. They had dinner with them once a week, and they still spent summers with them on the island, and so they actually saw them as much, if not more, than they had while Harry was still in school.

Tom and Harry landed at the apparition point and began making their leisurely way towards the house, waving to people they knew as they passed.

Pleasantville, the village surrounding their house, had grown somewhat in the years they'd been in the new world. A few more houses had been added, a few more shops and restaurants. All in all it was a cheerful, bustling village, filled with hordes of shrieking children racing about, enjoying the last hours of the day before being called in by their parents.

"I have a feeling Hogwarts is actually going to need to start using all the abandoned classrooms in the coming years." Tom noted. "All the villages look like this."

"I've noticed." Harry agreed. "Hopefully Dumbledore will be retired by then. The man's such a control freak, I can see him not hiring extra teachers even if they'll be sorely needed, just because he doesn't want anyone new in the castle."

"Plus overworked teachers are much more biddable. They haven't the time or the energy to fight back against his constant scheming." Tom agreed. "Though given the changes you and the others already spearheaded while you were still there, I can't see it being a problem. He doesn't have nearly the hold on the school that he once did."

"That's true. Still, I kind of wish he'd retire before then." Harry agreed.

"HARRY! TOM! You're here!"

Harry braced himself as he spotted Regulus Black, his godbrother, racing at him at high speed, clutching a toy broom and looking wind swept and jolly. Regulus seemed to be doing his best to tackle him as he threw his arms around his waist, and then darted over to do the same to Tom, already babbling a mile a minute.

"Did you hear? I'm a chaser now for the Pleasantville Warlocks! I tried out for beater, but those stupid Weasley twins got it instead."

"Well, if they're anything like their older brothers, they should make a great team. Fred and George were great beaters." Harry consoled him "You'll appreciate it when it's helping you win matches."

"I guess." Regulus grumbled. "You'll come watch me play, right?"

"Wouldn't miss it." Harry assured him. A kiddie quidditch match wasn't actually his idea of a fun day out, but for Reg he'd be there every game. He nudged Tom unobtrusively with his elbow. "We both will." Tom assured him.

Regulus beamed at them both and then ran on ahead to throw open the door.

"MUM! DAD! TOM AND HARRY ARE HERE!"

They could hear Walburga's portrait scolding the boy exasperatedly for running and shouting like a hoodlum as they stepped inside, only to be tackle hugged by Orion and Caila, Sirius and Adeline's younger two children who were six and four.

"HARRY HARRY YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT! ME AND ANTHONY WENT OUT AND FOUND A GIANT FROG! IT WAS AS BIG AS MY HEAD!"

"Wow. That big? What did you do with it?" Harry asked, trying his best to sound amazed.

As Ori babbled on about his adventures with Anthony Crouch, junior explorer--Barty and Nymphadora's second child--he could hear Caila regaling Tom about her new pretty dress she'd gotten to wear for her next tea party. Caila was very fond of tea parties.

He'd caught Tom indulging her once, seated at her little table with a tiny china tea cup in hand, making small talk with a stuffed bear. Harry had, naturally, teased him relentlessly. He'd also given him a very enthusiastic blow job to encourage such behavior. He believed in positive reinforcement.

The kids ran off again soon after, to play with the other children that were present--Remus and Pam's twins, Bailey and Beatrice who were four, and Barty and Nymphadora's two children Eriadanus and Anthony who were eight and five.

"Oh good, we're all here. The weather is fine. We thought we'd eat in the gazebo." Adeline announced once everyone had been welcomed.

A table had been set up for the adults in the gazebo, while a child sized table had been set up on the grass just outside it.

"It took far too many cleaning charms to get rid of all the tomato sauce stains after the last food fight." Sirius explained with a rueful grin. "We figured, eat outside, the kids can be as rambunctious as they want."

The rest of the adults laughed. Tom and Harry exchanged a slight grimace. On the one hand, neither could deny how they'd grown up had been less than pleasant…but on the other hand, they hadn't been tiny hoodlums that thought throwing food at each other was in any way acceptable. They were both rather torn about the whole thing, to be honest.

 

Once settled, talk flowed easily.

"So, it's the end of the school year. How did Cedric and Neville do?" Harry asked once everyone had a chance to eat a bit.

"Quite well, actually. They're both quite popular with the students. I think it's good they started together. They're the youngest professors on staff by far. I think it helps that they have someone close to their own age to commiserate with." Remus mused.

"I don't think Cho appreciates how popular Cedric is with the students--especially the seventh years." Pam admitted with some amusement.

"The hazards of being a young professor." Remus chuckled.

"I hope they're behaving themselves around Neville. Hannah will shank them with a smile on her face." Harry noted.

"Wasn't she a Hufflepuff?" Sirius asked.

"Don't mess with the 'puffs." Barty shook his head. "There's a reason most of the aurors come from that house. They're far more dangerous than their reputation would suggest."

"Damn right." Nymphadora agreed with a grin.

"How are the newest batch of interns settling in?" Tom asked Barty curiously.

The last of the orphaned muggleborn had graduated the previous summer. With no new muggleborn incoming until the first of the newest batch born among the other nations was old enough for Hogwarts, they'd opened up the internship to the whole school, post OWL and upwards. It was a good deal for families of low means with more than one child to worry about. They'd held extensive interviews with all the hopeful applicants and picked a dozen that both had decent grades, a wide variety of interests, and who seemed to want it for themselves, not because their families were pushing them into it. Willingness to work alongside goblins and hags was also a must.

"Pretty well so far. They seem keen. I guess we'll see how it goes." Barty said philosophically. "We won't really know their mettle till they actually start working."

"How are Hermione and Ron and the new baby doing?" Adeline asked curiously.

"They seem to be doing well. It was a girl, Rose they named her. Bright red hair, as bushy as her mother's." Harry laughed.

Hermione and Ron had driven everyone spare the last few years. Hermione and Aang's thing had sort of waned over time, though they parted as good friends and still regularly kept in touch. He'd had a short lived relationship with Ty Lee for a while after that.

Katara had picked up her thing with Jet when they'd run into each other again, working on a movie together. That had fizzled over time as well. Katara had ended up having a brief relationship with Ron, and Hermione had dated Jet for a bit, though both relationships had fizzled before too long.

Jet eventually ran off with Ginny Weasley. He was making a name for himself in the movies, she was making a name for herself in quidditch. They seemed to enjoy being famous together. They'd been going strong for two years now, though they showed no signs of getting married any time soon, much to Molly's dismay.

Aang and Katara had eventually gotten back together, and it seemed to be working this time. They were both older, had sown their wild oats a bit and had a better idea of what they wanted. The relationship had been a bit rocky at first as they'd worked on their issues from the last time they'd tried, but they'd stuck it out and seemed to be doing fine these days. Ron and Hermione had gotten together around the same time.

Ron had finally grown up a bit and found a niche for himself working in the movie industry, They'd dated for about a year and then gotten married, and had a child, their daughter Rose, about a year later. They still bickered, but it was less acrimonious than it had been while they were still in school.

"Everyone seems to be having children. Draco and Pansy just had a second child, Ron and Hermione a little girl. Neville and Hannah are expecting some time next year, Luna and Theo have twins and a third on the way. Sokka and Suki have two, Aang and Katara are expecting their first in a few months…" Harry counted off.

"Don't forget yourself." Sirius teased. "Ah, where does the time go. I'm far, far too young to be a grandfather."

"When is Azula due?" Remus asked.

"Sometime around midsummer. We're all heading out to Fire Nation tomorrow." Adeline replied.

"Why she'd go back to Fire Nation?" Nymphadora wondered. "Why didn't she just have it here?"

"She has to have the baby on Fire Nation soil or he or she will automatically be excluded from the line of succession. The Fire Lord has to be born in Fire Nation." Tom explained.

"Does that even really matter? Her brother is Fire Lord. He has, what, two children now?" Barty asked.

"Yes, he or she would be what...fourth in line?" Pam wondered.

"Fourth in line after Zuko, who's still young and quite healthy and seems to be held in fond regard by most of the populace. I don't think it's really about the succession at all--Azula plans for the kid to be heir to her movie empire after all, not the throne. She's a princess, she wants her child to be a prince or princess, even if a low-ranking one. Her dad was very dismissive of everyone not of royal blood, and even those with royal blood he was pretty quick to cut down if he thought they were in his way. She's gotten a lot better about such things, but some of it still lingers, which is why she hightailed it to Fire Nation to make sure her child counted as part of the royal family." Harry explained.

 

 

"CUT!" Azula growled. It took her a bit of doing to hoist herself out of her chair and waddle towards where the actors were all frozen in place and eyeing her warily.

"What was that? I'll tell you what it was, it was DRECK! She's supposed to be the love of your life, not your sister! Put some heat into it!"

The lead actor grimaced and glanced at his co-star apologetically.

"Sorry...it's just um... I don't really like girls like that." he finished in a whisper.

"You're an ACTOR." Azula reminded him icily. "Pretend she's the chef from the cafeteria"

His face went scarlet and a titter made its way around the room.

"I picked you because you were pretty, but if you can't perform I can easily replace you.  Of course that means I will probably be GIVING BIRTH while finishing this movie" she added dangerously. "If that happens, I'll set Toph on you, fair warning."

He glanced over at Toph, who grinned and gave him a little finger wave, and he gulped nervously.

"This is the last scene we need to nail down before we wrap...and I seem to be going into labor, so DO IT CORRECTLY THIS TIME!"

She waddled back to her chair and heaved herself back into it with a grimace.

"Um...did you say you were going into labor?" The lead actress said hesitantly.

"Yes I did, so unless you want to deliver a baby during the climactic reunion, I'd suggest everyone get their act together." Azula said fiercely.

"Uh...places everyone! From the top!" Azula's assistant yelled nervously.

All eyes were on Azula as she grimaced a bit and rubbed her stomach. The actors traded a terrified look and scrambled to get into place. A few spotted Toph slipping out of the room, phone in hand.

"NGH!" Azula choked, slamming her fist into the arm of her chair until the contraction passed. "ACTION!"

 

 

"I don't believe her! She's about to become a mother...you'd think that would make her less of a handful!" Zuko fretted as he leapt off the flying carpet.

"She wouldn't be Azula if that were true." Toph snickered. "And keep your voice down, they're still filming."

"Still...SHE'S GOING TO HAVE A BABY!"

"Yeah, we know." Toph sighed, rolling her eyes. "It's just the last scene left. Once this is done the film heads off for editing and what have you. She wants it out of the way so she can focus on the baby once it gets here. Now calm down. She'll be fine." she ordered, before heading to the door to listen.

 

_"Cut!  And that's a wrap."_

Toph could hear the actors and the stage crew cheering--they sounded quite relieved, and she was pretty sure a few of them were crying.  Geez.  What a bunch of pansies.  She felt water land on the floor near Azula and those closest to her jumped back with a startled cry.

_"Ugh! REALLY? I guess I should be thankful this happened before I got stuffed into a palanquin.  I swear, this is the most unsightly state of being.  Mother nature is a stone cold BITCH.  You hear that, Avatar!? Someone get me some towels and some new clothes. Well? Don't just stand there, people! Move it!"_

Toph smiled at Zuko brightly.  "I think her water just broke."

"GUH!"

Toph sighed.  "Honestly Sparky! You have two children! Would you relax?  Geez.  Poor knife girl."

 

 

"Wow! Look at the size of that one!" Regulus Black shrieked in glee. 

"It's huge! Is it a sea monster?" Orion wondered. 

"It probably is! It'll try to crush the ship and eat us!" Regulus decided, sounding far too excited at the prospect.

"It can try.  Harry will cut its head off if it does." Orion scoffed. 

"Harry! Get the sea monster before it eats us." Caila ordered.

Harry came and peeked over the side and laughed.  "That's a turtle, not a sea monster.  Relax.  There aren't any sea monsters this close to Fire Nation.  There are too many ships regularly in these waters."

"When are we gonna get there?" Caila wondered.

"Soon.  See that bumpy line on the horizon?  That's Fire Nation.  Just enjoy the ride, alright?"

"Does everyone in Fire Nation really live in volcanoes?" Orion wondered.

"Yeah, pretty much." Tom nodded. 

"That's stupid.  How do they not catch on fire and die?" Regulus demanded.

"They're not spewing lava all the time.  In fact, the firebenders regularly let out some of the pressure so the volcanoes don't explode." Tom explained.

"Do you think Azula had the baby yet?" Regulus wondered.

"No.  Toph said she'd call when she went into labor." Harry replied. 

"Is the baby going to be our brother?" Ori wondered.

"No, you'll be his or her uncle." Tom answered. 

"I hope it's a girl." Caila decided.

"No way.  It'll be a boy for sure." Regulus decided.

"I'll be happy either way so long as it's healthy." Harry cut off the argument before it could start.  Everyone tensed expectantly when the phone rang.

 

"Hello? Toph? She was? She did? Well…she wouldn't be Azula if she wasn't a handful.  Really? He's got two kids himself…  It's going to be a few hours yet.  We haven't even reached the first check-in point.  Okay, keep me posted."

Harry hung up and found everyone watching him expectantly.

"She's in labor.  She was finishing up her latest movie while it happened…." Harry explained all Toph had just told him.

"She's still working?" Sirius said in surprise.

"This surprises you? I'd have been more surprised if she'd been laying around taking it easy."

"She is very…driven." Adeline agreed.

"To be honest, I'm a little afraid to see what kind of kid the two of you produced." Sirius admitted.

"An _awesome one."_ Harry decreed, looking quite offended. 

 

 

It was dark by the time they made landfall. 

They rode a carpet up to the Fire Lord's palace, where they were met by a functionary who'd been left to direct them to the family quarters.  They were left at the sitting room, where a tired but happy looking Zuko, Mai and uncle Iroh were ensconced.

"Harry! Tom!" Zuko said quietly but with cheer, embracing them both. 

"Well?" Harry asked once all the greetings were out of the way. 

"Born at high noon in the very heart of summer.  If it wasn't a girl, I'm pretty sure the Fire Sages would have declared the kid the second coming of Agni, god of fire."

"That's stupid.  Fire doesn't have gender… not that I actually want my kid to be a fire god, but whatever.  A girl, huh? A girl who's going to have Toph and Azula as her primary role models.  Oy vey." Harry laughed.

"Yeah, good luck with that." Mai offered with a smirk.  "Come on.  I'll take you to them." she offered, rising to her feet. 

 

The room was dim when Harry slipped inside.  Azula was asleep.  Her mother sat beside her, stroking her hair with a soft smile on her face that was directed to the tiny bundle that Toph was carefully cradling. 

"Hey there, Padfoot.  Want to meet your daughter?"

"Most definitely." Harry agreed quietly, taking the bundle with care.  She already had a head full of silky black hair in little wild tufts all over her head.  Baby blue eyes focused on Harry's face with what looked like recognition before clouding over in confusion.  Only time would tell if they'd end up gold like Azula's or green like Harry's.  Harry gently brushed one tiny fist with his finger, and that's when he felt it--familiar chakra that felt like a hurricane filled with fire and lightning.

"There you are.  I've been waiting a long time."

Toph smiled at the two of them.

"I was told she looks a bit like you, but you know..." she pointed to her sightless eyes.

"H... _she_ has much crazier hair." Harry said with a laugh. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there it is. Another ending. If I ever get inspired, I might try to write something about Madara as Harry and Azula's daughter. For those of you who are curious about anyone else who was reborn, the only one I'm actually sure of is Mito. A lot of children were mentioned, and all of them are possibilities for other reincarnations, I just haven't actually decided who's who--or rather they haven't told me. I'll give you a hint about who Mito is: she was quite intelligent and meticulous--she was a seal master, after all. She had bright red hair. That should be enough to clue you in.


End file.
